County Council glossy magazines a waste of ink....

"Around Kent" the new trendy looking magazine from those well known publishers of style magazines, Kent County Council, dropped through my letter box today. I can't help thinking that these publications are basically a total waste of time, paper, ink and our money. Why do they find the need to congratulate themselves in this way. They are not providing any news, just a quickly read, easily forgotten mag which promises alot by a glossy cover and delivers very little. I don't want to see style guru Chairman of KCC, Paul Carter's ugly mug staring out at me like an egotistical MD of a local UPVC conservatories company. Please KCC stop wasting our time with these ill thought out and expensive projects. I don't need you to tell me there are pot holes on our roads, I can just drive down my road and nearly lose my wheel axles if I don't manage to dodge them all. Spend our money on what you do best. Now what was that again?!..

Crew Warehouse sale rummage anyone?....

I haven't mentioned this before because I thought I'd keep it a secret but there's a Crew Clothing warehouse sale going on at Tonbridge School right now. I wanted to go along there with ten or so other people who were in the know and pick up a few bargains. No such luck. I don't know how the heck all the hundreds of people who'd turned up had heard about it but, I'm not kidding, the place was like a church jumble sale. There were people of all shapes and sizes having a right old rummage through the clothes which were mostly piled up on large tables in the middle and round the sides. The car park was chocca full, they were having to redirect people to the sports centre car park. There was a queue of people with huge piles of "bargains" on push chairs, over their shoulders, waiting at least half an hour to pay. I had a brief look, cos I do like crew clothing these days but do you know what, I don't think the prices were that low anyway and you can buy alot of this stuff off their web site at similar prices. I just don't get it sometimes with people and supposed bargains must be the herd mentality or something. I walked out without a thing, I just couldn't bring myself to wait that long, feeling like a sheep following the flock. (That's herds and now flocks!) I really would rather pay full price than go through all that nonesense. But then that's just me....

Summer is a cumin in!...

Brrrr! The hardy among us will be pleased to know that the outdoor pool at Tonbridge Swimming Pool will be opening from this Friday. Snow permitting I shall be down there doing a few lengths to help me get in trim for my surfing holiday this Summer. If we ever get a Summer that is!...

Have you seen the size of the RBS Company Report?...

I'm an RBS shareholder. There, I've admitted it! That's what used to be known as The Royal Bank of Scotland. Now you may remember that this is the bank which was forced to reveal, if I've got my facts right, that it had given it's Chief Exec a no conditions pension pot which meant that, however long he worked for the company he would receive what amounted to a £750,000 a year pension for the rest of his life. Not bad if the company decides to retire you early, largely due to your own incompetence, in your early fifties. I'd settle for that! The bank, perhaps not surprisingly, then nearly went to the wall and was bailed out by the Government and therefore in turn you and I. They then pay another top Banker a small fortune to rescue them if he achieves targets; targets which are no doubt fairly attainable. In the meantime they make pledges to keep costs down and bonuses in check. So anyway, being a shareholder, the other day I received their company report; nothing so odd in that you may be thinking. Until you see it and feel the weight of it. It wouldn't fit through my letter box for a start, so I had to make a trip to the post depot to pick up this mammoth document, which was printed on heavy glossy paper in full colour, and wasn't far off the thickness of the Yellow Pages. I'm not exaggerating either. I'm not sure how many shareholders the company has but it must run into hundreds of thousands at least so what cost for production, distribution and postage I wonder? Is this the best use of what is now indirectly tax payers money? Are the wheels in this particular large organisation so slow that they couldn't stop this mostly boring document being churned out because that's what they always produce? You'd think that they wouldn't leave themselves so wide open to criticism this year of all years....

Job done for Tonbridge Juddians....

As expected the boys from Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club 1st XV did the job with two games to spare. By beating KCS Old Boys by 45 points to 15 they have won the London 2 South East league. Read the match report by someone who was actually at the game rather than me who was stuck in my dry bookshop if you don't want to take my word for it. I'll raise my pint of Larkins ale in your honour tonight! As said in an earlier post this really is a fantastic achievement by a side who have battled through thick and thin and, not so long ago, had to get changed in the old lido changing rooms with cold concrete floors, a shower which barely dribbled water (hot if you were lucky) and a bath which probably had the mud of thirty years worth of games silting on the bottom. None of the namby pamby squeeky clean facilities they enjoy now!...

Plagiarism alive and well in Tonbridge....

Many a teacher will be aware of pupils' many degrees of plagiarism, especially since these days it's so easy with google searches, wikipedia and the like it must be harder and harder to detect. I'll wager that quite a few teachers have tried to tell students how bad it is and that they really shouldn't indulge in such low practices. I'll bet that none though have used a phrase which a certain H.L Mencken used in about 1758 about Noah Webster (of Webster's dictionary fame who, it seems hadn't been too proud to use the material of an earlier dictionographer, Thomas Dilworth. Mencken wrote of Webster: "...he was "suffiently convinced of its merits to imitate it, even to the extent of lifting whole passages." So it seems that there's nothing new in this particular form of word-theft. Go on teachers of Tonbridge you can plagiarize that one from me for free as I did from the book I'm currently reading, Bill Bryson's excellent "Mother Tongue."

Good luck today TJ's

It's all going rather swimmingly down at the Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club this season. No I'm not referring to the way the main pitch has been under three feet of flood water for most of this year but the way that the 1st XV have smashed their way to an unbeaten record. In fact, I think I'm correct in saying, that they have only lost one league game in the last two seasons. The club took the decision three years ago, after a disastrous run of results that, if they wanted to continue the considerable success they'd had in the wider side of the club like a fabulous mini rugby set up and an increasingly strong women's team, not to mention the terrific new club house that they'd invested hundreds of thousands in, then they needed to have a strong first team; one which the younger players would look up to. So they injected money and resources into the playing side of the club. Experienced new coaches were recruited with strong track records with other clubs and counties, key new players were actively sought to bolster the team, a strong emphasis on fitness training was instilled in the players. In short they changed the whole ethos of the playing side of the club so that it now looks like a sharpened semi professional set up at the top level. And boy oh boy have the results followed! In fact, I'm reliably informed by some of the lads who poked their heads in my shop just now that, if they win against KCS Old Boys today then they will win the London 2 South East League. What an achievement by a club who, not so many years ago, had to get changed in the annex of the old lido swimming pool. Good luck to the boys today. Come on ye hoops!...

Happy Birthday Mr. Books....

By the way Mr. Books will be five years old next week....

Forty to one....

At the risk of inflaming an old row I couldn't help but notice the small piece in this week's Courier about the Oxfam shop opening (by the Lady Mayor of Tonbridge and Malling no less!) My views on the subject are, I hope, now clear so I won't dwell on that but I did have a little moment of amazement when I read that the new Oxfam manager's target for volunteers is 40 people. FORTY people, that is to say FOUR ZERO. I know that their shop is a little bigger than Mr. Books and that they are mostly giving their services away for nothing, but that's only just over an hour a week each. Even as a volunteer you'd have thought that people would be able to give it at least a half day wouldn't you? I'm only jealous really of course. I've managed perfectly well with just me and the odd part time cover from friends for holidays etc for the last five years....

Should TonbridgBlog go pay per view?...

So that's it then the beginning of the end of free news on the internet. According to a report in the Daily Torygraph today From June the Times Online have decided to create a firewall on their content in another potentially groundbreaking move for one Mr. Rupert Murdoch. That's not to say that the Aussie tycoon has gone mad and is expecting bush fires on the internet no it's a teccie, computer geeks, term for being able to get to a taste of the content for free and then having to pay a fee to get the full version. A sort of coin meter for web content. Many are predicting that their audience will plummet but TonbridgeBlog is not so sure; Murdoch has an uncanny knack of getting the timing just right (think independent news channels, Sky TV, The Sun popular content.) Everyone thought he was just a meglamaniac nutter in all those cases and look at him now. If you start to think about it why should it be free other than the fact that everyone has got used to it being so. The journalists still want paying, as do the advertising staff, admin staff and production experts so where's the money going to come from in the long term? Only one place and that's the advertisers; but newspapers have traditionally always had that revenue stream and also the circulation sales revenue. TonbridgeBlog would like to propose a £2.50 a day fee from now if you want to get behind my firewall you better get saving up your pennies!...

True blue Mr. Books Bookshop....

And speaking of true blue (in this case the colour of my shop front and not necessarily my political persausion!) it was very nice of The Tonbridge Insider magazine to publish a full page article about the West Kent Book Fair literary events and even nicer of them to use my watercoloured shot of Mr. Books on their front page. They actually phoned me to ask did I mind if they used it. Now what was I going to say to that?!..

True Blue Tonbridge (with red and orange tints)

It's quite interesting during the run up to the general election to take a quick look at the results for the Tonbridge and Malling Constituency from the last election in 2005. You'll see if you click on this link to the Guardian newspaper site that the Conservatives had 24,357 versus Labour with 11,005 and Liberal 8,980. Now I must admit that I was a little surprised by that. I always assumed that the Lib Dems came a closer second and that Labour were in third place, way behind in the polls. But not so. (If you've glazed over by now then you're obviously not interested in politics which, frankly, I find a little hard to comprehend but there you go!) The results were even closer in the 2001 elections and still closer again in the 1997 election when Labour won by a landslide nationally and the Cons failed to take 50% of the overall vote in Ton and Malling. Now it doesn't take a genius to work out that, if you add together the Labour and the Lib Dem votes from 2005 then you have a much closer result; in fact 43.4% as a combined share of the vote versus the Cons 52.9%. I also think I'm correct in saying that there was quite a swing to the Tories in the last election so the previous results were probably much closer. It's a very similar scenario when you look at the results for Tunbridge Wells in 2005 only this time the Lib Dems have a bigger share than Labour. But the important thing is that the two combined would be very much more serious contenders. Now admittedly this all does rather assume that, if the two parties were to combine forces in certain constituencies, as has been suggested in some quarters, then all the Lib Dem votes would go to Labour and vice versa but, nevertheless, perhaps Tonbridge and Tunbridge Wells aren't quite as True Blue as is often made out to be the case....

Local art....

Where can you see local art in Tonbridge? I only say this because I've just had an interesting conversation with an artist in my shop and we got talking about what inspires an artist to draw or paint or take photos. She came in looking for some books which would strike a chord or spark something off. In Mr. Books I've always displayed a small selection of work of local artists and at the moment there's a very eye-catching and unusual limited print by Christine Highland of an abstract map of Tonbridge town centre (or at least inspired by a map of the centre- you know how these arty types think!) I rather like it and I'm thinking of buying the original from her to have on my wall at home. Other places that I know of where they regularly hold exhibitions of local art are the Castle, in the old council chamber room; below the castle there's the annual Art on the Railings which is exactly what it says with very varied work displayed along the river and organised by local group the Platonic Artists. Then there are the more unusual venues such as Retro 66 barbers who show the work from the girls of Hillview school quite often. In fact I believe they have an exhibiton of Sixties-inspired art coming up either this weekend or next. There's also that pine furniture and framers shop, Arcadia, on Quarry Hill Parade who display some rather nice abstract art by Wendy Asprey among others; and I think that Antonias may still have some abstract work on their walls which is also for sale. There must be other places....

Speak up please....

Oh dear the Tonbridge Civic Society talk last night promised much with an architect speaking about his specialist subject of the history of Wealden building. The content was very detailed and the pictures of houses around the Weald of Kent and Sussex made me drool with envy. But I'm afraid that at least half the audience, from about half way back in the room, were straining their ears to hear very much at all. They don't hold back those elderly, usually genteel folk, of the TCS; when speaker Stephen Langer began in a seated position about half a dozen shouted out in unison, "We can't hear you, can you speak up please!" and "It might help if you stood up!" In fact the Chairman had to intervene to politely explain the problem to our guest speaker. Fair enough I say because, if you rush to get to the meeting, often after a hastily eaten dinner, and you're interested in the topic enough to make the effort, as over a hundred people had, then the least you can expect is to be able to hear the speaker. If you have a very good speaker who can project their voice in a theatrical manner then no problem, they'll be heard however loud the air conditioning is at the back of the Riverside Suite of the Angel Centre; but we can't all be Brian Blessed so for heaven's sake make a microphone standard for every talk. The content of the talk was actually very detailed and interesting and Stephen spoke with great authority about many of the traditional building techniques which had been passed down to us since medieval days and before. Techniques which his company have actually used in reconstruction on many projects around the region. But I'm afraid, what most people would have taken away from the night was that they couldn't hear much, which is a shame....

Free car parks....

With the cost of parking becoming a contentitious issue TonbridgeBlog asks where are all the free parking slots these days. We ought to draw up a visitors guide to parking for cheapskates. More likely we'd want to keep them all for ourselves but let's have a go anyway. I'll start the ball rolling and say that, if you don't mind a short walk through Mill Crescent and the parish churchyard, you can park for free all day in the Homebase car park. Or B&Q/Halfords and walk along the tow path past the gas station and town lock, coming out right in the centre of town at the big bridge. There are others on the fringes of the town, like near the old Star and Garter junction, any others?...

Architectural talk tonight anyone?...

Don't forget that there's a talk on Architecture in the Weald of Kent and Sussex hosted by the Tonbridge Civic Society this evening at the Angel Centre. They have some very good and, admittedly one or two mediocre, speakers at their talks; this time it's the turn of Stephen Langer, who's an architect so ought to know what he's on about. This is the last proper talk of the society's season so let's hope it's a good one. Next month the Design Awards will take place at Somerhill House, which is always a lovely evening with some rather nice grub and then it's the AGM and summer event. So if you want a feel of how the society operates then get yourself along tonight. Non members are welcome, although these days there's a charge of £2 (I think) so you may as well join for the whole year which only costs £7. See you there for a 7-30 for 8pm start, or maybe not....

Order, Order....

Now one or two of the comments on TonbridgeBlog have become a little rude, a little threatening and a wee bit too personal. So, at the risk of the blog administrators closing the site down, which I know that not many of you would like, I've had to introduce something which I've always resisted in the four years or so that TBlog has been running: comment moderation; that is to say that I now have to view each commnent before it's actually published, at least for the time being. So when those few bloggers who have been getting a bit carried away with themselves, have calmed down then the facility will be lifted again. I really don't want to use comment moderation because it tends to mean that the blog loses it's immediacy which, after all is part of the point of it. What issue has prompted this action being taken? Is it the great political debate in the run up to a close fought general election? Is it some timeless, unanswered philosophical issue? Is it Christianity versus the other religions of the world that has got their goat? Football even? No it's a book shop closure and a charity shop opening! As the new Speaker of the House of Commons might say: everyone just needs to calm down, I'm worried about you!...

Safe Sir John....

Only one comment on the Politics post! What's going on? Don't you know that there's a general election looming? Are you all so set in your ways that there's no need for a debate? Has Sir John Stanley got one of the safest seats in the country, or will the Lib Dems give him a run for his money. Isn't it time for a change in Tonbridge (and don't forget Malling) just like it might be in the country as a whole. Not wishing to be ageist but he must be knocking on a bit now anyway....

A final word about John Adams bookshop....

I see that the Courier published my letter in today's issue but, because I know that most of you hate parting with the 65p that the paper costs, here it is in full (the paper actually edited it down and missed one or two bits out for some reason, I can't think why!) I wrote it, not to dig up dirt and cause a stir because I've got nothing better to do, but because I didn't want to be tarred with the same brush as Douglas Jeffers and I wanted Tonbridge to know where I stand on the subject of Oxfam books. This really is the last thing I'm ever going to say on the subject.... probably....

"I couldn't believe what I was seeing when I read that Douglas Jeffers, the owner of My Back Pages, formerly John Adams bookshop, was apparently being driven out by Oxfam books. Mr Jeffers is on a very sticky wicket when he argues his case for unfair competition of a charity like Oxfam pushing him out; surely this is just face-saving on his part; his business was dying anyway so you might say he is dressing his grave.
As the owner of Mr. Books in Bank Street, Tonbridge I have watched John Adams having four "Store Closing" sales within the space of a year-and-a-half each time deciding, presumably at the last minute, to stay open to serve the good people of Tonbridge! I opened my shop nearly five years ago to the day on the basis that it would complement John Adams who, at the time, only sold exclusively brand new books, so my business strategy was to sell mainly rare and secondhand books; that was written into my business plan. Further down the line John Adams began selling some secondhand books, and, more recently, purely secondhand books. Then he has the nerve to complain about competition in the town. What is actually wrong with competition anyway? If you ask me it sharpens businesses up, who would otherwise become set in their ways and would operate a lazy, shoddy service. My shop has only succeeded, being tucked away in the almost forgotten old part of the town centre, because I go out of my way to provide this service; in so doing I attract book collectors from all over the South East and, increasingly, from beyond. I might also add that I have revived the dormant Tonbridge Book Fair after a 20 year absense and organised poetry nights and other literary events in the town; Mr. Jeffers has done none of this as far as I'm aware and why would he since he lives in London and not in the community he claims to care about. Yes Oxfam Books opening in Tonbridge gives me cause for concern but if I had to do one of those SWAT analyses they would be a threat, but also an opportunity. In fact I've already agreed to donate around 1,000 books to them, books which have done the rounds in my shop and are now sitting, clogging up my storage and will otherwise probably never see the light of day again. So good luck to Oxfam, they are a wonderful charity and I'm sure that Tonbridge will manage just fine without Mr. Jeffers warped sense of business logic."

Does that make my position clear enough?...

Politics politics and more politics....

Not normally being one to talk about politics on this blog TonbridgeBlog will break with that unwritten convention since we are in the run up to the closest fought general election since John Major beat Kinnock back in the early 1990s. So let's hear your views. How do the people of Tonbridge decide on their vote. Is it just merely blindly following what you've always done, how your parents probably voted. Are you just true blue and proud or are you a floating voter? In which case what will sway your vote? Please don't say that you never vote because they are all the same and in any case what can my vote change? People died for the right to have that vote so go out on May 6th (or whenever) and use it. Let's have a sensible view from Tonbridge voters from each persausion; the case for each main party and maybe some of the fringe parties. There are links to most of them in the left hand column if you want to find out more. As for which way I'm voting, I'll leave you all guessing on that one for now....

What a heel....

Being a bit of a poetry fan TonbridgeBlog was particularly amused, entertained and somewhat surprised that Poet Laureate, Carol Ann Duffy felt moved enough to write about David Beckham's achilles heel. Who says poetry can't reach out to a mass audience?! Here it is as published in the Mirror today:

Achilles (for David Beckham)
Myth's river- where his mother dipped him, fished him, a slippery
golden boy flowed on, his name on its lips. Without him, it was
prophesised, they would not take Troy.

Women hid him, concealed him in girls' sarongs; days of sweetmeats,
spices, silver songs...
but when Odysseus came,

with an athlete's build, a sword and a shield, he followed him to the
battlefield, the crowd's roar,
and it was sport, not war,

his charmed foot on the ball...

but then his heel, his heel, his heel...

Where you bin this week?!..

If you are wondering, as I had been, where all the rubbish bins in the town centre had gone I can exclusively reveal the answer. I thought that the council were about to waste (geddit) a load of cash on new bins when the old ones, with their specially designed cigarette stubber-outers on the top, were perfectly adequate. But no; I have it on good authority, namely the two blokes in high viz jackets reinstalling the one at the Bank Street/High Street corner, that they had been removed due to the security threat posed by the militry top brass Tonbridgeblog referred to in an earlier post regarding the Tonbridge School hosted CCF annivesary event (scroll down if you don't believe me!) I kid you not and you'd think this story were a load of old rubbish (another pun) but if that's the price of freedom then so be it....

Like a lamb to the slaughter....

I loved the story in the Courier today about the Primary School in Folkstone who had the bright idea about teaching their pupils a harsh lesson in reality. They reared a lamb at the school and told them that, when the fluffy animal was old enough, (and presumably fat enough) it would be sent to the slaughter house. Not only that but children and parents would then benefit by being able to buy the choicest cuts of Marcus (yes they even gave him a name) when they were returned from the abbatoir. Whatever you may think about this it apparently resulted in the Head Teacher having to resign, such was the public out cry over the poor lamb. It wasn't just confined to a local campaign either; Paul O'Grady, who used to be known as Lily Savage, proved that he (of is it she) was a big old softy and led a radio campaign to stop Marcus from going under the chopper. By all accounts this was a little severe as The Head appears to have given the children the choice of keeping the lamb as a pet, the children, presumably, opting to vote with their bellies rather than their hearts! I always find lamb a bit too fatty I don't know what you think....

What was wrong with the horse drawn carriage anyway?!..

With the announcement of a new HSR network, that's short for High Speed Rail, by Lord Adonis in parliament today we'll all soon be able to slip up to Manchester in a matter of minutes, Birmingham in a few seconds and Canary Wharf in a nano second! Do we actually want all this at a huge cost to the nation? Is it necessary and vital for Britain's infrastructure in the 21st Century to be able to travel at 250 light years a second? Will it signal the beginning of the end for the motor car after all those billions spent on our roads? Surely not, surely we love our independence too much. Should we, after all, have listened to the likes of John Betjeman and kept all those branch lines, closed in the 1960s and now mostly low speed, but very picturesque, cycle routes? I dunno, life just seems to keep going round and round as each generation of politicians have different ideas and then, in turn, ideas which are remarkably similar to those of previous generations. One of the HSR links I think will be from the Chunnel to Stratford/Canary Wharf so how will this effect sleepy old Tonbridge? Any thoughts anyone?...

The Head of the British Army? Here in Tonbridge....

Apparently the Head Honcho of the British Army was in town today. That's the top man himself who we all know is called, oh now what's his name? Is it still Sir Richard Dannatt or has General David Richards taken over yet? That is according to my inside sources, namely a burly looking copper, who'd been drafted in for the occasion, who happened to walk into my bookshop. No doubt he was checking for explosive devices amongst the true crime section! Only just now, a few minutes ago, and much to the annoyance of those Tonbridge workers who'd tried to make a quick getaway from their offices to be home in time for the Six o'Clock news, who found themselves sitting in their cars for 15 minutes while a parade of young boys playing soldiers marched by. Actually I was quite impressed with the whole thing: never in Tonbridge has so much been owed by so.... (now stop that nonesense, Ed.) I didn't hear the Red Arrows flying over, as had been rumoured, nor the Apache Helicopter for that matter but, nevertheless, it's not every day we see such a show of military mites in the town! (That's a play on words in case you didn't geddit)....

Military mites in Tonbridge....

Don't be alarmed this afternoon if you are suddenly rudely awoken from your post lunch semi comatosed state by a Chinook helicopter overhead. The Taliban haven't invaded; it'll just be the CCF open day at Tonbridge School with a huge schoolboy show of force from many of the schools in the district. I think I'm also right in saying that there could be a Red Arrows fly past. Remember to duck!...

Get your knocked off cameras 'ere!...

Nothing at all to do with Tonbridge really but could appeal to everyone in the town. The Telegraph has a least of useful money saving web sites such as price comparison and auction sites. My favourite from briefly scanning them is an auction site for unclaimed stolen property handed in to Police stations. Now why didn't I think of that!...

Bring back the Tonbridge Fair on October 12th....

On a table in the front of an 1840s map of Kent I've just looked at it shows the various towns' market days and fair days. It seems that Tonbridge, obviously spelt "Tunbridge" on this map, had markets on Fridays and a fair on October 12th. I wonder what these long forgotten fairs were like, surely nothing like the carnivals and fetes we now look upon every Summer. I'd love to be transported back in time to those traditional times (only for a couple of days though mind; I couldn't do without me laptop and flat screen TV for too long!)

The annual 11+ lottery....

I'm glad that I don't have to go through the annual schools lottery again, I hope I never have to and pity any parents going through it now. It really is one of the most stressful times in a parent's life if you care about your kids futures. Every year in Kent and several other counties up and down the country we have the dubious necessity of the 11+ exams, which occupy far too much importance to children, and their parents, in years 5 and 6. Many children are taken out of their state primary for the final year and placed at a private school or else they're crammed to bursting point with pervious 11+ papers by private tutors. Then we have the agonising wait for results, the exaltation of passing or the despair of failing (they don't call it failing anymore but that's how the children feel.) As if that weren't enough children and their mums and dads then have the anguish over whether or not they can get into their first choice school or, in a significant number of cases whether they get into any of their choices of school. TonbridgeBlog would then ask the question of whether the grammar schools of Tonbridge are being fair to the people, particularly the children, of the town by being so selective in which children they choose. For instance should they allow children with better 11+ scores to be admitted, not only from outside the borough of Tonbridge and Malling but also from out of county? It's not so bad for the girls of the town, they have an excellent comprehensive in Hillview and a great not so selective grammar in Weald of Kent, so they are nearly always guaranteed a place. As for the boys unless they achieve very high, and I mean almost perfect, scores in their 11+ exams, they won't get into Judd School, which is the only boys grammar in the town. So unless their parents can afford the fees of Tonbridge or Sackville they won't go to school in their town. Instead they'll get the bus up to either Skinners or Tunbridge Wells Boys, or their mums will help to clog up the roads by dropping them off, or they'll risk life and limb biking to school along the A26 and that car park they call St. Johns Road. Great schools but where's the logic in all this? Is it just a never ending spiral of schools having to achieve ever better scores than previous years and therefore not daring to be fairer and change their selection criteria. Isn't it time for an adjustment in Tonbridge so that more, particularly boys, can go to grammar school in their own town. I don't suppose that Judd would publish such information but I for one would like to know just what the percentage of boys at the school actually live in the town, in the borough and in the county. Can we have those figures please?....

You finish the story....

What's new in Tonbridge this week? Nothing much to report; as they say in media circles: a bit of a slow news week! We all await Spring to bring an end to this long cold dark and dreary winter. The park is flooded, but then that's nothing new. The traffic is quite bad through the High Street, but then that's also nothing new. The traffic wardens/parking attendants/civil enforcement officers are still booking cars in the car parks instead of keeping the main roads unblocked and that's certainly not new. The yoofs are still skateboarding around the Sainsbury's car park instead of staying at home reading and doing their homework, but then haven't teenagers always done that? The charity shops are still taking up all the vacant shop units (how do they afford it?) There's still no coherent plan for the town centre (or at least not one that's likely to be actioned any time soon) Work on the A21 extension to Longfield Road still hasn't started. The shop unit on the corner of Church Lane is still boarded up after at least 8 years that I know about, the ridiculous tubs that someone thought would be a good idea to plonk on the corner of Bank Street and plant some tiny trees in are still there despite the fact that the trees have been snapped off for over a year. So nothing really is new in Tonbridge this week. When suddenly.....

Is twitter pointless?...

This from a local twitterer, Nova Gowers, 3 comments in quick succession:

In the car wash giving the car it's very first shower!

Forgotten how much toddlers find car washes scary. :0S

Gulp! Now he's crying in the car wash! :0/

My tweet reply is going to be: Well flippin well look after your toddler then!

Does Tonbridge need to order in those sand bags?...

I exchanged pleasantries with an elderly fella near the small wooden bridge next to the Angel Centre car park that takes you around the back of the High Street next to the old Benn building, Sovereign House. Are you following me? Only half joking I asked him whether he thought Tonbridge was going to flood again; he replied, again only half joking, that he thought I might be right. This gentleman was probably a young man if he lived in the town in 1968; this was the last time we had serious flooding in Tonbridge and the main reason the flood barrier at Leigh was given the go ahead. You can see pictures of it in local history books: policemen helping stranded residents and shopkeepers who tried in vain to stop the waters from coming into their buildings and had to be rescued by rowing boat; you know the sort of thing. The Medway has been bursting its banks throughout its history but we only really hear about the more recent ones. We had a close shave around the year 2000 when the newly built swimming pool, built next to the river, had to close for a million pound refurbishment and installation of flood protection walls. Without scare mongering too much TonbridgeBlog asks are we in for another close shave? Is global warming to blame? Or is it just that eventually the forces of nature always have and always will conquer our best man made efforts? I can't remember ever having seen the river level at the Little Bridge quite as high as this. Gulp!...

Are Oxfam the Tesco of the secondhand book trade?...

I'm not going to complain about the Oxfam book and music shop that's about to open in Tonbridge High Street. There'd be no point; it's all been said before by other members of the book trade who complain that their sales have halved in the face of such unfair competition and that they've held on as long as they could before being forced to close their doors for good. I won't even complain, no really I won't, that they pay only 20% of business rates and that their staff are volunteers. They have been described, not by me, as the Tesco of the secondhand book trade, with over 700 shops in the UK selling books and over 130 (and growing) dedicated to books only. They are the biggest secondhand book chain in Europe if not the world, but I'm not going to complain like many others, including the PBFA, the booksellers trade body. Like I said it's all been said before like in this Guardian report last year about what effect the Salisbury shop has had. There's no doubt about it that it will effect Mr. Books' trade probably more so at the bottom end of the market, less so on the more collectable books but I won't lose sleep over it;. After all Oxfam are a great cause and do alot of brilliant work in third world countries as has been demonstated with the recent Haiti emergency. Competitition is good, it sharpens you up, it makes you think how you have to improve your services to do better than the competition. I can always buy their best stock from them, look at how they price their books and learn from them. If all else fails I can always go and offer my services to them or go back and work in the media again if they'll still have me

Happy to always live in Tonbridge....

There have been quite a few negative and moaning comments appearing of late. TonbridgeBlog puts this down to the depressingly long and cold winter causing us all to feel a bit down and I dare say, in some cases, worse than that. So I thought I'd highlight a nice cheery one from a Tonbridge resident who would never leave the town:

"I'm never going be an expat, as I love living in Tonbridge. It's a great place to be. We moved here 30 years ago, brought up a family, and have never looked back. The town has a nice tight centre, which is adjacent to marvelous parks and leisure facilities. We have many cultural clubs and societies,and are surrounded by beautiful walking countryside. Within 40 minutes the train delivers us to the west end of london, and for holidays abroad, gatwick and the channel tunnel are less than an hour away.As long as our council resists siren calls to turn us into a bland 'anytown', and builds to our character (castle, river etc) Tonbridge will continue to be a wonderful place to live. " by Hallum.

Tonbridge Expats where are you?...

Right there are around 60,000 residents of Tonbridge (although that probably includes the 'and Malling') Then, I'd estimate, there are around 10,000 or so who have lived in the town and have moved away. Add to that the ones who have relatives or know someone who lives in the town, around another 280,000 at a conservative estimate, and you have a staggering 350,000 people who have a direct interest in Tonbridge and therefore indeed TonbridgeBlog. So it would be especially nice if we heard from some of those Tonbridge expats strung across the globe. The odd comment does come in from Australia, Canada and the States so lets have more. What are you missing about your days in the town?....

Tonbridge goes 99p crazy!...

The beat of Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" blasting out across Tonbridge High Street seemed particularly inapropriate to promote the latest shop to open it's doors in the town. There were balloons aplenty and sweets being handed out to passers-by, luring us in; in fact they were making a right song and dance about it. Yes the new 99p stores is open for business. I had to go in of course strictly for research purposes you understand! Being fair to them it is a vast improvement on the temporary Pound Store which has just closed its doors on the same premises, the old Woolworth's premises, the shelves look better, there's a uniformity about the corporate colours and everything seems tidier. I certainly wasn't the only person in the large store either at 9-55 this morning. Oh no the place was nearly jammed full of bargain hunters buying their gardening gloves, bags of sweets dust bin bags and plastic boxes (Poundstretcher must be fuming!) I felt a mixture of excitement that a new business had opened and obviously would bring more people into the High Street and yet saddened that the world had come to this. Quantity not quality, who cares who makes it! Is it under a pound? Then I'll take it. Do you need it? No but it was a bargain! (Reminds me of an old Monty Python sketch which still rings true about the lady who bought a piston engine not cos she needed it but because it was a bargain!) But then again I did buy a dozen envelopes for £1.98 (that's two lots of 99p) which I did need, so these stores maybe have their place after all....

Tonbridge Priory....

It's amazing how many people who see the coloured print of Tonbridge Priory, which hangs proudly on the wall in Mr. Books express disbelief that there ever was one and are amazed when I inform them that it used to stand roughly between the railway bridge and Sainsbury's petrol station. Once upon a time (actually around the year 1250) all you'd have been able to see from the top of Quarry Hill, walking down to towards Tonbridge would have been the Priory and it's grounds, then further along the Castle and its fortifications, which made up the very small hill fort town of Tonbridge, or was it Tunbridge or Tonebrigge in those days? The clues of course are all there: Priory Street, Priory Road, St. Augustine's Home for the elderly Priory vets etc. but we often just take all these place and street names for granted and don't really give them any significance. I've blogged about it before so I won't go on at length in this post but it was, by all accounts quite a structure; probably much bigger than the parish church, set in it's own sizeable grounds. It started to fall into ruin after its deconsecration (at the hands of Henry VIII and his hatchet man Cardinal Wollesey) and was left to the elements and local farmers until the 1840s when along came a new King, The Railway. What was left of it was then uncermoniously pulled down, foundations (and coffins) dug up to build the track, station and shunting yards. There's a good description and brief history here on the Tonbridge Historical Society web site....

A nice comment from TonbridgeBlog....

What a lovely sunny moaning, I mean morning it is today. Makes you want to go to the top of Tonbridge Castle and shout to the world with your arms in the air: "It's a beautiful day!" (You see, I can do it!)

Moaning versus nice comments on TonbridgeBlog....

One recent comment hit the nail on the head when they said that it's much easier to write negative things than positive. I have had a go at many things over the three or four years that this blog has been running. I hope though that it's never been done gratuitously but rather with good reason. You see it's also easy to write positive things about the flowers and the few lovely Spring like days we are having or about the lovely snowy days we had sledging and larking about throwing snow balls at our children and friends. Why does no one remember those posts? I guess because ultimately they are just nice comments on the world around us and, just like the national news, become the "And finally" type stories. What people really want to see is a place to vent their frustrations and sense of injustice about the inertia in local government, the miss-spending of our money, corruptness of politicians, cases of traffic wardens' officiousness, and yes shops which give a bad service. This is clearly shown by the number of comments, demonstrating that people are moved enough to put finger to keyboard, against moaning-type stories versus the positive stories or nice photos. As a blogger I guess I'm influenced by what people seem to like reading and commenting about. If anything I try not to be too much so but it's a tricky road to walk along. I'll continue to write some nice positive stories and commnets but on the other hand, as I've said before, I'll only stop moaning when there's nothing left to moan about....

Spare a few pence for a huge newspaper group....

It seems that someone else is trying to muscle in on TonbridgeBlog's patch! I had a visit from a nice young lady called Karen, who tells me she is a free lance journo. She came armed with a bundle of promo cards for a web site called Tonbridge people, sub heading "Your Place. Your People." Sounds a bit puke-making to me but I'm sure she'll do her best. It seems that the site is a commercial one; that is to say it has to attract ads from local businesses in order to keep going. Take a look at it yourselves; it promises to "keep you in touch with local like minded people, read- and write! all the local news that's relevant to YOU, (I hate it when the do that in UPPER CASE don't you?) be first to know what's on locally etc etc etc etc...." the same old tawdry rubbish that all these local commercial sites churn out. And who's behind this great venture? Why Northcliffe newspapers, owners of the Courier and hundreds of other failing local rags of course. If they were so bothered about giving the good folk of Tonbridge a voice then why did they close down their offices on Tonbridge High Street at the first whiff of an economic downturn? They left the town without a newspaper office for the first time in over 100 years and their paper goes ever more Tunbridge Wells-centric every week but now we're being asked (very nicely mind) to help them out!

Welcome aboard Liz Simpson, Lib Dem PPC....

We had a comment from, no less than, Liz Simpson the Parliamentary candidate from Tonbridge and Malling about "It's no joke" TonbridgeBlog's recent posting on the state of our highways during the cold snap. (Scroll down to see the post and all comments) Liz is a bit behind the pace here but better late than never and let's hope we have new convert to TBlog! I thought that it was worth highlighting so here it is in full for you to read. No doubt this will rekindle the political comments as well! I'm still waiting on Sir John Satnley's contribution to the debate!...

" Hi I have only just discovered the Tonbridge Blogger - makes interesting reading. Your first blogger was absolutely right - the blame for lack of coordinated response can be laid fairly and squarely at the feet of Mr Chard Cabinet Member for Highways. Borough Councils were offering to provide staff to help with the snow clearance before Christmas but KCC refused. KCC staff were telling people who phoned in asking for roads and pavement to be gritted that it was a Parish Council responsibility to provide salt bins - when the decision had been made last Autumn that KCC were not going to allow Parish Councils to provide bins (and of course Tonbridge is not parished anyway - so goodness knows where the good folk of Tonbridge were supposed to get theirs from). Following the huge public outcry Mr Chard was forced to apologise for having said it was their responsibility and after Christmas did accept help from the Boroughs. Has now decided that County Councillors can provide salt bins out of their Highways Grant Budgets they all hold - but at over £500 a pop - suggest you look at websites to see how much they cost wholesale. So complete about face. So why not contact your County Councillor and ask for a bin for places like Deakin Leas - that is steep enough at the best of times - must only have been passable by Eddie the Eagle in the snow.And please do remember when you next come to vote that KKC have £50 million people tied up in Iceland, a highways department in chaos, an internet TV station (now dumped) that no-one watched and cost over a million pounds to set up, millions of pounds spent on reorganisation after reorganisation and a demoralised workforce .... the list is almost endless.

Liz Simpson Lib Dem PPC Tonbridge and Malling
PS. Absolute scandal - casualty departments over-run, elderly marooned in their homes for up to three weeks."

Millets boys should go on a sales course....

I've just been in Millets on Tonbridge High Street and have discovered just how little those salesmen know about their products. They must be either very bored or on a high incentive commission scheme because both of them wouldn't leave me alone. I'd only been in the shop a minute or so and I swear the same guy asked me if I needed any help twice. Then he saw me looking at the walkers sticks and came over to see if I knew about Leki sticks and I said yes I did and I'm happy to just browse. I wouldn't have minded so much if he'd actually known what he was talking about. Salesmen should always beware of spouting rubbish to customers who might be more knowledgable than them. Far better to back off if the customer is happy browsing than to intimidate them with a heavy sell. That guy gave up in the end after I repeated that I was alright and thanked him for his help. A minute later his colleague came bounding over and asked me did I need help with the Leki sticks and did I know that Millets were also doing a similar one on a two-for-one offer but without the "Leki guarantees" When I inquired what these guarantees were he started fumbling around with the label on one of the sticks and, rather than just admit that he didn't know, started to bullshit (that's the only word for it I'm afraid) about it being 6o years, oh no that's how long they've been in business, it might be a lifetime guarantee, or a year or maybe three. What utter crap! Did I know that you need two sticks instead of just the one? Doctors have proved this that people who only use one stick become unbalanced which leads to back problems. Oh my God! I only went in for a look at the sticks now I'm going to go out with the threat of getting arthritis or some other hideous disfigurement. In the end I had to get quite blunt and say that I'm happy to decide for myself from here. When I finally wanted to pay for something, they were nowhere to be seen and I had to almost beg them to let them have my money. Millets boys: go on a sales course and if you've already been on one, go on a better one! Stop being so desparate to sell something, it shows and it puts people off. Actually in the end I made my choice of stick and I'm very happy with it, you see being quite an experienced hill walker, which they failed to get out of me, I kind of knew what I was looking for all along. I nearly walked out deliberately so as not to give them the sale but I bought the stick because I wanted it in spite of their pathetic sales pitch....

Tonbridge Arts Festival update....

Organising of the very first Tonbridge Arts Festival is moving on at a pace. I'll declare my interest in this early on as having been involved in the drive to make it happen at the concept stage and, more recently, sitting on the literary sub committee of the festival, so there you go. I didn't read it but I heard that the Courier ran a piece about it in last Fridays issue of the paper. You can read about it here on the This Is Kent site if you wish. Suffice it to say that it'll be worth being around for ten days in October (15-24th) as there'll be lots of arty things going on if you like that sort of thing. A big name author is being sought and I have approached Anthony Horowitz (who happens to be a mate of mine. Ok a twitter mate but a mate nonetheless!) Also being approached are Ian Rankin, Victoria Hislop, Carol Ann Duffy, Jools Holland and the Rolling Stones. Alright I made the last one up just to see if you're still paying attention! The commedian, Arthur Smith (of Grumpy Old Men fame) has signed up I think as a patron of the festival already and they'll be lots more to follow. Many venues around the town are being considered including West Kent College's new theatre (which we are assured will be finished by then!) Tonbridge School's many facilities, Angel Centre, libraries, Castle, Adult Ed Centre and the pubs and restaurants of the town. Personally I think that we need a focal point, such as a marquee on the Castle lawn, but that looks to be a bit too ambitious for the first year's festival, we'll wait and see. The most eye catching idea so far, and the most reported, is the possibility of having a Tonbridge Plinth (that was my idea so I would say that) somewhere around the Bridge/Water Gate which would, rather like the Trafalgar Square effort, run continuously throughout the festival and would-be artists, poets, entertainers, musicians, dancers, show offs, advertsers and just plain strange people could have their hour of fame. Get involved if you can but at the very least put the dates in your diary. Come on how often does Tonbridge host something as big as this?!..

The Digital Revolution....

Great programme called The Digital Revolution running on BBC Four. Last night's programme, presented by the rather dishy Aleks Krotoski, was all about how big names like Twitter, You Tube and Facebook have revolutonized people-reporting in the last five years. Not very long ago, although light years in cyber time, it would have been impossible for this blog, and an estimate 60 million like it, to exist and for all of us to instantaneously share views with like minded folk on the other side of the globe. Incredible if you stop to think about it, and yet, here we are taking it all for granted! There are a number of real experts on the programme, not just the usual array of academics which everyone trawls out, but the likes of Bill Gates and Tim Berners Lee (the founding father of the internet. By the way how cool must that be if someone asks "What do you do then?" and to be able to reply "Oh yes I er invented the internet!") Ms Krotoski, actually I think it's Dr. Krotoski, apart from being dishy, holds the whole thing together superbly as she pops up in London, then a second later in San Francisco, then Tokyo, then Shanghai and so on. She listens to these boffin internet pioneers intensely and you're always left with the impression that she could quite easily hold her own amongst them. Great programme. Click on the link to the beeb site to get a flavour of it....

Safe as houses....

I had a bit of a shock last Thursday when I arrived at my shop in the morning there was a circular scratch which, on closer inspection, had been done with a sharp knife or more likely a glass cutter, right next to the yale lock. This obviously had the effect of making me feel insecure and wondering if I'm due a break in; apart from anything else it looks a bit unsightly and I may have to replace the glass in the door for cosmetic reasons. It is toughened, wire reinforced glass so, whilst not inpenetrable, the thieves would have had a job on trying to get through. In fact it would probably have been alot easier to kick the door in or use a jammy knife (not that I want to give potential burglars any clues! I didn't think much more of it for the next hour or two until, low and behold, I got a telesales cold call from a residential security company calling themselves Landmark Security (I'm pretty sure that's what they said) saying that my address had been selected as a show home for their services and would I consider a representative coming around to explain the deal. You know the sort of thing. I explained that I'm a business address and the lady said something like she was so sorry to have troubled me. Now am I jumping to huge conclusions here, is it just my imagination running away with me (like in the Rolling Stones song) or this this more than a coincidence? Are there security firms out there so desparate and unscrupulous that they'll send someone round to given addresses in advance of the sale call to, let's just say give them a little bit of an emotional advantage. The more I think about it, since I've never before in the five years I've been here and, come to think of it, in the twenty five that I've been a home owner either, had such a cold call before this raises too many questions for it to be mere coincidence. Anyone else had such an experience?...

Tonbridge Has Talent....

Had a fantastic night last night being a judge at Tonbridge Has Talent. Held in Tonbridge School's Big School hall the event included performances from most of the senior schools in Tonbridge and a few from Tunbidge Wells. And did Tonbridge have talent? I'll let you judge for yourselves, that is if this link works properly! If you didn't agree with the judges decisions then you try it sometime. Do you upgrade them for technical ability? Do you go hard on them if they're nervous? Do they have star quality? What is star quality anyway! Did they performe it or just sing it? Can you persuade the other judges to see it your way if they disagree with your choices? All this has to be taken into account in the world of Simon Cowell, er sorry TonbridgeBlog....

More Tonbridge businesses to go west?...

It's tough being in business at the moment; particularly if you're a start up or new in retail. Even more so if you happen to have a shop in or around Tonbridge High Street; even more so if you happen to be North of the big town bridge. No I'm not feeling sorry for myself as you were all thinking, I don't want you to get the violins out for me; although, come to think of it, business could be brisker. No I'm thinking more about those businesses that have set up in the last year or two, who have probably made their plans before the recession hit, who've invested in leases, shop fittings and equipment. The Ivy House is probably one of those; I hear that they are struggling to keep their upmarket positioning and have wisely reverted to having some of the pub as, well, a pub instead of a gastro, bistro restauranty place, not sure whether it's a pub or what. I'm sure that some of the independent restaurants and a few of the hairdressers at this end of town must also be feeling the pinch. I hear that the new key cutter/shoe repairers below the Medway School of Dance is also struggling to cover its costs. Maybe it's the credit crunch, maybe there just isn't enough trade at this end of town for that type of business, maybe the guy running it just needs to be patient and build up his trade by steadily but surely giving a good service. So, if you need heels repaired, a new front door key, even a trophy engraving and you want to save yourself the bother of going down the south end of town then give the man a break before another shop in the north of the High Street goes west....

Mor on Politics....

And here's what our dear friend Mr. Clegg of the Lib Dems has got to say in his latest bit of e-mithering (good phrase that!)
"One of our four key pledges at this year's General Election will be our call for fairness and reform in the political system. This has been a rallying cry of our party for generations, and we have proud record on it. After the recent scandals it is needed now more than ever.
The excellent Power 2010 campaign group have been working hard to push these issues up the political agenda. I know many Liberal Democrats have been involved in their work and support their campaigning – as do I. That is why I am asking you to vote in their current poll to decide what their top five campaigning pledges should be for this election.
Needless to say I’m delighted to see that fair votes is currently topping the poll, along with a number of our other policies and I’ve already voted for them. I’ve also voted to give constituents the chance to kick out corrupt MPs, because after the recent expenses scandal I believe making MPs accountable should be a top priority in our reform of the political system.
Political reform is a hugely important issue for our country and our party; so I hope you will find a moment to take part in this campaign.
Best wishes,
Nick Clegg MP
Leader of the Liberal Democrats"

Don't all rush at once!...

Any old rags for Latvian childen: Charity clothing collections in Tonbridge....

I don't wish to sound uncharitable, and I'm aware that this is a bit of a sensitive topic but I've always wondered about some of those, so called, charities who drop plastic bags through your letter box. One came through my door this morning asking for clothing collections for Latvia. I'm sure it's a worthy cause, and they do look legitimate enough with a web site, professional looking packaging and, crucially, a registered UK charity number. The only thing that caught my eye and made me wonder was the line in the text on the clothing bag which mentioned that Retexa, who presumably are the distribution company who work for Children Our Future, will donate "...at least 60 pounds from every tonne collected... to Children Our Future." It's a funny way of putting it and possibly could be put down to the language barrier if they are Latvians. I'm not worried that they mixed their imperial weights with their metrics so much as the meagre amount. By my calculations of 2.2 pounds to a kilogramme that's 27.3 kg out of 1,000 kg or only 2.7% guaranteed to be donated. What happens to the other 972.7 kg of every tonne collected? Is that the distribution company's to sell? If so how and where do they sell it? Do they pick out all the designer label gear before they send the rest off to Latvia? I'm singling this charity out as an example, although I'm quite sure there are others in the same boat. Maybe this is normal, maybe all the charities operate on a 2.7% ratio and maybe 2.7 kg in every 1,000 is better than nothing but it did strike me as very low....

Great Entertainment in Tonbridge....

I'm having a bit of an arty week this week. What with being a judge on Friday night's Tonbridge Has Talent (Tonbridge School, Big School, 7-30pm) I'll be doing my best Simon Cowell impression, giving my honest, positive, and hopefully witty criticism of the acts. There's prize money and school reputations at stake and so the whole thing is taken fairly seriously by the entrants. If last year's event is anything to go by the audience is in for a right old treat. Mind you they'll have to go some to beat the night's entertainment, not as a judge this time, I had on Monday evening at Hillview School for Girls' Stars In Their Eyes Celebration of Talent held at the Angel Centre. There was Cheryl Cole, S Club, Rhiana, Myria Carey to name just a few. There were solo singers, duets, quartet, rock groups, dancers, you name it. They were all superb, and I'm not just saying this because my daughter goes to the school, if you ever get the chance to go to their perfomance evening you really should make the effort. The vast majority of the girls are genuinely enthusiastic about performing arts and quite a few of them West End Standard, I kid you not. There's are always one or two outstanding perfomances and, if I was forced to single them out, apart from my daughter's dance routine of course, I'd say that the Witney Houston "I Will Always Love You ou a ou a hooo" was technically the best and the Nina Simone A New Dawn, A New Day and I'm Feeeeling Goooooooooooooooooood! just brought the house down. And incidentally the two comperes, sorry I'm rubbish with names but I know they were the dance and drama teachers at the school, held the whole night together with their larking about which is actually quite tricky to do without straying into stretching and straining the jokes. They always knew how far they could push it with the audience and when to introduce the next act. In fact I'd much rather see them than Horne And Corden presenting the Brit Awards this year. And as if that weren't enough, on TV last night I was treated to a double bill of the new series of Shameless, which I never even knew they'd made, and then there's all new Mad Men this evening. How much better can it get! I wish every week could be as packed full of quality entertainment as this week....