Something Missing in Tonbridge?...

You would have been forgiven thinking that there was a major incident at the back of Somefield this mornng. There were police officers a squad car hastily parked at an angle in the road and a large crowd gathered to gawp at the scene. On closer inspection though, those police women did look a bit too attractive and there was something not quite right about the car. Then I noticed that we had suddenly acquired a new police station in Tonbridge. It turns out that a film crew has descended on the town and they are using the long vacant building alongside the river as a pretend police station for a TV series, starring Pauline Querk, called Missing. No never seen it myself but apparently it was very popular last time around hence the recommissioning of a new series, which will be shown next year. An hour later after having witnessed this scene in Bradford Street I'm sitting in my bookshop when in walks a familiar looking face. It probably sounded pathetic but I could resist saying "'Ere, aren't you that Rob Carver off The Bill..." (at least I didn't say "allo allo allo!") "That's right," the chap replied "...although I haven't been on The Bill for many years now..." Well he was the last time I tuned in and, if I remember correctly he had a bit of an alcohol problem and was having an affair with one of the WPCs, but that's by the by. Turns out that the actor, Mark Wingate, is also filming in Tonbridge on Missing; I think he said that they'll be around for the next two or three months for the programme, so look out for more dramatic arrests and long arms feeling peoples collars. I had quite a long chat with Mr. Wingate who fortunately for me loves books and has given me his wants list (I shan't tell you what's on it!) Keep 'em peeled!...

The Germans are coming!... to off load their debts....

Interesting article appeared today on the Telegraph web site with the heading: "Tunbridge Wells the 'debt capital of Europe'" Apparently near bankrupt Germans are coming over here having built up large debts in Europe in order to declare themselves bankrupt. This is due to Britain's far more lenient bankruptcy laws. Why Tunbridge Wells then? Apparently they like the area, it's quintesential Englishness appeals; it's also close to Ebbsfleet, so they can go home easily with all the money they've saved. Actually zee Tonbridge town ist just as gut and even closer to the Eurostar station. But we should probably keep quiet about it on this occasion!...

88 squillion quid is a lot of brass!...

I had a bit of a West Kent College day yesterday. Because of an arts festival project I'm getting involved in they had asked me to exhibit at their freshers day fair, which was from about 9am to 2-30pm on the car park outside the Speldhurst building. They couldn't have pickd a better day to be out in the open air. The Indian Summer sun was beating down on us, while the fresh breeze kept us from overheating. I spoke to alot of foreign students who all had the same questonaire to test their English skills, which, in most cases were badly lacking. I hope they catch up soon otherwise they'll be eaten alive at Tonbridge Saturday market. There were student bands and dance groups, some of which were incredibly good. I didn't sell many books, but no harm in putting Mr. Books name around town I say and I did go home with a bit of an unexpected sun tan. Some of the traders there were bitterly disappointed as one colourful character commented: "I'd have been better off if I'd got up this morning and burnt a five pound note!" But really what did they expect at a student fair? The Absolutely Fabulous girls to drop by with large bundles of cash?! There were some wonderful looking characters and creations on display outside the canteen area as students did what they do best together: hang out in largish groups, smoking, talking, sipping coffee and water, posing and eyeing each other up. Another less kind and I might add bitter and twisted older lady stall holder remarked that she thought that young people today had no direction "They seem to be just drifting!" Her colleague with her on the stall was even less kind and thought that National Service should be brought back to knock them all into shape and bring back respect. I told them that I thought that nothing had really changed that much since they were young but felt like saying: "Listen you bitter old gits: You two are market traders whereas every one of these young 'drifters' is here for a reason they have a course they have therefore a direction in life ergo, by definition, they are not drifters." But it would probably have been wasted on them!...
Then in the evening, remember I said at the start that I'd had a West Kent College day, I went along to the first talk of the season on the Tonbridge Civic Society programme of events held upstairs at the Angel Centre. The subject was something I did want to know more about, West Kent College's new multi million pound face lift. This is a massive project that will be a major contributor to Tonbridge and the surrounding area. Vice Principal, Chis Hare, told us broadly what the college is all about and where they expect to go, but the most interesting bit was by a representative from Dyer, the architects on the project, who took us through the building almost literally with the aid of computer graphics. It will be an amazing, state of the art building which is bound to attract an even wider audience of young adults eager to learn the mainly vocational subjects which the college offers. There'll be a skyline cafe with panoramic views right across the Weald of Kent, there'll be an incredible, versatile studio and theatre, health care facilities, even an open air theatre and conference area. All of this will be available in off peak hours to members of the community of Tonbridge. Yes there are bound to be teething problems and yes there will be more than a few issues over things like students parking in residential areas, but that will all be ironed out in time. Won't it be worth it for such a tremendous facility right on our door step? Mind you 88 squillion quid, which is what the project is costing, is a lot of money in anyone's book!...

Book quote number One....

Well someone's got to carry the flag for books haven't they!

"Next to acquiring good friends, the next best aquisition is that of good books." C.C. Colton (who he?!)

Christmas coming too early....

After having read the report in the local rag about card shops in Tonbridge starting to sell Christmas cards already (in mid-September for goodness sake!) I don't know what you all think about this subject but I'm reminded of a poem I wrote a couple of years ago about Christmas festivities coming too early and leading to confusion:

Christmas Comes Too Early
Christmas is coming
The Easter Bunny's getting fat,
Please put a penny for the Guy
In the old man's hat.
If you haven't got a penny
Some sweets will 'ave to do.
We shopped right through
Till New Year's Day
And missed it all, Oh drat!

Hand car wash update....

Google ads have been busy again as underneath the last posting about the car wash sign on the roundabout near the library is an ad for, yes you've guessed it, where to find your local hand car wash place! So there you have it: the hand car wash people should have advertised on Tonbridge Blog instead of wasting all that time standing in the cold breathing in exhaust fumes!...

A sign of the times?...

Have the police finally got tough with the Hand Car Wash kid on the roundabout? He seems to have disappeared from the face of Tonbridge. I'm all for a bit of enterprise and if they can make a few bob washing cars then good luck to 'em I say. But it's a shame that there can't be a way of stopping them standing in such a prominent location at the southern gateway of the town for whole days on end. It does look tacky to say the least and the people who organise it obviously know that there's a loophole in the law which allows them to stand there with their luminous sign. Pathetic really when you think about it isn't it. Now then does anyone fancy getting six quid an hour holding a placade for the Tonbridge Book Fair on October 25th?! I might as well expolit the same loophole, I've got a business to run you know!...

A saucey weekend!...

Went to the Penshurst Craft Fair on Sunday and concluded that it is really just a glorified market. Interesting, but really just a big market place. Why then does it cost over a fiver to get in? £5.80 to be precise, so that's £11.60 if you're a couple (thankfully children get in free.) To be perfectly honest with you all I had some freebie tickets, since I agreed to put a poster up in my shop for them so I shouldn't complain now should I! There were a staggering number of cars parked up by the marquees for the three day event when we arrived for what was to be a whistle-stop tour of the fair. Two hours later I was still walking around, stopping to talk to the traditional hurdle fencing guy, who sounded like a cider drinking country bumkin from the 19th Century. His prices certainly weren't 19th C though! I did manage to pick up a large blue breakfast cup from a pottery, which was £9 but just what I've been looking for for my morning coffee, and very individual. The lady told me I could stick it in the dishwasher and the microwave so that was good enough for me. Having said that if the handle falls off I'll have to wait for the next craft fair in May since I've no idea who she was. There was some serious money being made there I can tell you. Mind you those exhibitors have to take about £1,000 over the 3 days before they've made a penny. You see those stalls don't come cheap at around £700 for the average sized pitch. I know it sounds alot but the fella who was doing a roaring trade on the home made curry sauces stand told me that they would normally expect to take in the region of £6,000 at this fair. That's a heck of a lot more than Mr. Books takes at the average book fair I can tell you; maybe I'm in the wrong game after all and need to brush up on my ethnic and traditional culinary skills! What should I call this new venture? Why Mr. Sauce of course!...

24 hour slow news....

In a shock report we tell you how, in Tonbridge today, absolutely nothing new happened! TonbridgeBlog reported that the news was so slow as to have almost dried up. We'll bring you all the latest on that as events unfold....

Slow news day....

As someone pointed out in a recent comment this time of year is indeed the silly season when it comes to reporting news, or should that be no news. In the days of 24 hour rolling news channels who struggle to make even coherent sentences on slow news days, and who leap on an international disaster like a child with a new bike for Christmas, I always find it refreshing to recall that famous clip on the news in the early days of television when the news reader was heard saying those immortal words: "...Today there is no news to report...." I kid you not, it did actually happen. Sometimes it would be nice if todays news channels and newspapers were a little more realistic instead of making up the news as they go along....

A Tonbridge plinth....

Here's a link to the One&Other Plinth web site which shows Tonbridge's very own actor/poet/entertainer Karl Niklaus performing and larking about 30 feet up in Trafalgar Square. It takes a lot of guts to stand up there in the first place by all accounts, let alone to keep a crowd entertained for a whole hour. I haven't watched all of it but he seems to be doing his best to keep everyone involved and I've just heard him say "Release the spoken word into the world!" It's given me an idea as well. Maybe we should have a Tonbridge plinth during next years arts festival. I'll put it to the committee but who would we have perform there apart from Karl of course. I'd probably give it a bash for a laugh. Any other takers?....

A moan about mobility scooters!...

"TonbridgeBlog really should have a moan about mobility scooters" said one recent comment. I'm not sure about this as the Courier are doing it to death already in their usual way. You know the picture on the disgruntled mother who's child has had a near death experience on the streets of downtown Tonbridge. She has a serious looking glum face and the photograher, who's seen it all a million times, knows he can extract every ounce out of a feeble story if the little toddler who has cheated death is also in the frame looking equally glum. Sorry if that sounds a little cynical for a moderately serious topic but actually I think this is a storm in a tea cup. There's a very nice, if a little grumpy, old chap who stops by my shop parking his disabled mobile outside; he comes in to buy books on stamps and I honestly can't see him being a menace on the pavement. Look at it from their point of view they mostly can't walk more than a few yards without serious difficulty so to many these electric scooters are a lifeline, they allow them to go shopping or out and about to visit friends when they might otherwise be house-bound. The pavements are busy in the town centre, but no where else; the roads are too dangerous for them to go very far on. These scooters only travel at a top speed of 4 mph, which is only fast walking pace afterall and they mostly go at 2mph. Yes maybe there is a problem with some of the latest models which are capable of up to 8 mph, although even this is slower than a teenager's bike or even a skateboarder. How many accidents have there actually been; I've only heard about this one and maybe it was an accident waiting to happen. One thing is for sure though, for the Courier newspaper it was a story waiting to happen! One letter to the paper, which they printed, asked if their was training available for "these people..." I'm not sure that referring to disabled people as these people will win this letter writer many votes of support but maybe she had a point about the training. I'm sure that the vast majority of the drivers/riders are safe and sensible, just like most cyclists and pedestrians are, so can you impose laws and regulations just for the careless few. I would wager that most have driven a car for many years, so will quickly be able to grasp the hang of a slow moving scooter, maybe those who haven't ever driven should be given a test rather like the Compulsory Basic Training (CBT) test for motor bikes and scooters which teach the rider the basics in around three hours. Should they be made compulsory though? Have your say by commenting below....

Gateway to nowhere!...

The front page story of Tonbridge and Malling's unneccesarily glossy news paper, Here and Now, had the really imaginative headline: "Gateway Opens" This article just served to confirm to me my worst fears; that TMBC have been wasting our money on this pointless revamp at the Castle. (Scroll down to previous posting for more on this. ) From what I can see there are no actual extra services available at the building, just the same dreary ones that they had there before and some rather tenuous ones planned. I don't want to denigrate the needs of the disabled folk of Tonbridge but do they really need and ask for a "Changing Place" toilet whatever that may be?! And do the public need free internet access in these days when virtually everyone has a pc at home and, increasingly, on their mobile phones. Do visitors to Gateway, the new name for the council offices in Tonbridge really need a "Meet and Greet area," an expensive looking help desk "to be directed to the person who can best help them with their enquiry" or do they simply want a well trained, helpful, polite and understanding person. I'm now pretty convinced that maybe people who work at the council just get bored and have to dream up new ways to burn our money on ever more ridiculous excercises dressed up as corporate strategy makeovers....

Guy Portelli exhibition....

Apparently that successful local sculptor, Guy Portelli, as featured gaining an investment of £90k on the BBC's Dragon's Den programme, had a small exhibition of his Pop Icons at Retro 66 barbers shop on Tonbridge High Street yesterday and Sunday. Did anyone go along? I like some of his work although at around £25k a piece I won't be rushing out to buy one just yet. You can see most of this eye catching contemporary art on Guy's web site which is listed on the left hand column of this page. This was quite a coup for Retro barbers to get Mr. Portelli along at the weekend. I'm not sure how they know him though as, judging by the picture on the front of this month's Tonbridge Insider, Guy is long overdue a trim!...

Tonbridge Gateway....

Now I'm not one to just have a moan for the sake of it but.... You always know there's a big BUT on the way when someone opens a sentence like that. But I have just had a nose in the new Castle offices and tourist information and can tell you that they must have spent a pretty penny on the whole thing. Actually I'd like to know just how much. It seems particularly galling that the council, and by this I think I mean both our borough council, TMBC, and our county council, KCC, are spending this amount of council tax payers money on seemingly lavish new designs and desks, which no doubt they call "customer interface positions" just at a time when most people are cutting back severely or having the real threat of job losses hanging over them. This is what it says on the Kent County Council's web site about this new concept they are calling "Gateway" which they plan to roll out across the whole of Kent by the look of it:

"Gateway draws selected retail concepts into its vision for improving access to public services.
Today's innovative retail spaces deliver both an holistic customer experience and community ethos, not simply measured by 'consumer choice' or 'sales'. We aim to make Gateway a model that delivers public services, alongside any other transactions customers may wish to make...."

Retail concepts! And here's me thinking that the council were suppoosed to serve us the tax payer, it now seems that they want to improve their "retail" environment in order, presumably to extract even more of our hard earned cash out of us. I don't think I'd feel any better or worse about going to pay my council tax bill or parking fine in a spanking new office with a state of the art lift or the old oak pannelled one, I'm going in to pay a bill for goodness sake! One of the retail concepts that they site as justification for their revamped brand image is the banks spending of £100 million on branch refurbishments to which has been proven to lead to higher performance. This must have been written before the recent collapse of the banking system otherwise no one could have been paid to write this utter drivel. Another example they quote as having inspired the change is the Discovery Channel Store in Washington DC as having "breathed new life into museums." It beggars belief that they think that people want this kind of experience for our museums, let alone our council offices. Why stop there why not use the Disney Channel stores as further proof that the concept will work. What next? shall we replace statues of Winston Churchill with Mickey Mouse?! It's worth reading what they actually say on this:

"Discovery Channel Store in Washington DC creates a powerful social and educational experience. This 'social retail' revolution has breathed new life into museums making them accessible to wider communities around the world."

They have erected new signs everywhere around the castle and built a new extention to the thousand year old structure which, admittedly, looks nice but you have to say rather out of place with it's modernist architecture. The tourist information, apart from the new desks I've already mentioned seems smaller and devoid of, well, tourist information apart from a few leaflets on the wall like they already had before this multi million pound face lift. I think I've told you what TonbridgeBlog feels about all this and I'm sure that in an easier economic climate they could have got away with it unscathed, but surely I'm not the only one who feels that this revamp is totally over the top, totally badly timed, totally ill advised and a total waste of our money....

Tonbridge Civic Society: Seven quid well spent....

The Tonbridge Civic Society have published their 2009/10 programme of talks and visits alongside their latest newsletter. If you are a member you should by now have had one drop onto your doormat. If not you can always look on their website, although wait a few days as they don't seem to have updated it yet to include the programme. A temporary oversight I'm sure! TonbridgeBlog can tell you though that the first talk will be held in the usual venue of the Angel Centre Riverside Lounge at 7-30 (if you want coffee and a chat) for an 8pm start, Tuesday September 22nd, on the subject of West Kent College's new campus. Chris Hare, the college's Vice Principal, will be telling the society's members all about the progress of the new £85 million development and its likely contribution and impact on Tonbridge. Non members are welcome at all their meetings so, if you've ever wondered about what those concerned, mainly older folk of Tonbridge Civic Society do, then this is your chance. You might even be moved enough to part with the 7 quid annual membership fee (steady on now this is a recession you know!)

Tonbridge dog wardens: New fines stink....

I've just had a conversation with an outraged Tonbridge dog owner who has just noticed the new signs up at the park and he castle lawns warning that dog wardens can issue on the spot fines of £80 to dog owners caught with their dogs off the leash in these areas or indeed if they are caught letting them foul in these areas. He's hopping mad about the size of these fines, which let's face it to many people would be pretty significant but what does the rest of Tonbridge think about this? Being a non-dog owner I can see both sides of this argument; on the one hand it is a bit steep if you forget to scoop up the poop or haven't noticed the signs but on the other it will help clean up the parks and make for more responsible pet owners. A five or ten quid fine might not work but 80 quid ought to make most people be a bit more careful. It might depend on whether or not the wardens excercise any discretion or are they, like the parking attendants, on quotas. No dog jokes please....

A few weee facts for you....

On holiday in Cornwall I visited the the Eden Project, which is an amazing place where you can experience the world's climates all in one place. You can see tropical plants, see banana and coffee and rice growing and then walk into a different biome (that's the name they give those giant bubble wrap domes you may have seen pictures of) and see California vineyards and Mediterranean flowers. Now as most Tonbridge primary school children know there is also a giant sort of sculpture called the WEEE Man at the Eden Project which really did make me think. As you can see from the picture it is about 30 to 40 feet high and very skilfully made up of old bits of electrical equipment, everything from fridges and microwaves to laptops and computer mice (its teeth in fact if you look closely!) The amazing thing about the WEEE Man, which by the way stands for Waste Electrical and Electronic Equipment, is that it represents the waste of just one person in their lifetime, a staggering 3.3 tonnes of it! And if you start to think about it it's true; we, or should that be weee, humans in the West throw away an amazing amount of stuff, often when there's nothing wrong with it. A washing macnine here that was more expensive to fix than it was to replace, a scrappage scheme car there because we got £2,000 for an old banger, a mobile phone because they were offering a free upgrade. You know the sort of stuff. I'm as guilty as most on this but the WEE Man brings home the sheer waste of it all in an impactful, and I might even say embarassing way. I tried to assuage my guilt in the shop on the way out of the Eden Project by buying a stapler which I now use almost every day at least a couple of times. The cool thing about this "eco-stapler" is that it doesn't use any staples. Yes that's right it is staple less! It works simply by punching a small hole in the sheets of paper and then folding a bit back in on itself. As it says on the packaging if everyone in UK offices saved just one staple a day that would be a whapping 72 tonnes of metal saved each year. And all of this is before we get started on food waste, on books thrown out, on plastic bags etc. etc. etc. Has TonbridgBlog gone all greener than thou?! Not really, well ok a bit, but just thought it was worth mentioning, interesting if nothing else....

Christmas Ice Rink at Tonbridge Castle?...

Seems a bit early in the year to be talking about Christmas but I did promise that I'd mention something on TonbridgeBlog so here goes. A Tonbridge resident, who can name herself if she wishes to, is lobbying the borough council to install a temporary ice rink on the Castle lawn over the Christmas period. Not a bad idea I thought when she mentioned it to me last week; might draw in a few shoppers and liven the centre of town up a bit. I'm pretty sure that technically it could be done as there are many examples of such installations. As I recall last winter was so cold we could have skated on the river but I wouldn't recommend it most years. What does the rest of Tonbridge think?...

John Adams really closing this time....

I understand that it's now official that John Adams bookshop are to close in September after a stay of execution which gave them another six months in business. So Mr. Books will, for a time at least, become the only independent bookshop in Tonbridge. Gosh, what a responsibility! No doubt this is a sign of the times with amazon, the internet and e-books snapping at our heels. I wouldn't envy anyone opening another inde new bookshop right now unless as a labour of love. There is a rumour though that a group of people are thinking of doing just that; good luck to them. You heard it here first. In the meantime a little known fact is that Mr. Books can order in any new books currently in print as well as all the rare and secondhand stock. In fact I've been doing more and more of that since Adams first announced they were closing in March this year. So don't just give in and buy them on amazon or from Sainsbury's. Help a local business to survive. What's that you say? You don't mind if Mr. Books goes the same way as John Adams. Well that's just charming isn't it!...

Lay off the Mr. Books bike....

Someone's got it in for the Mr. Books delivery bike! First some young lads were spotted riding up and down Tonbridge High Street, with one of them in the basket at the front, at 2 in the morning. Ok that was quite funny looking back on it and no real damage was done other than the lost pedal. Now some mindless idiot has kicked the back wheel so hard that it is buckled beyond repair. I now have to wheel it on the front wheel only whilst lifting the back wheel off the ground otherwise it sounds like an old tank coming down the road. What is it when young people get a drink inside them? They suddenly turn into thugs, vandals, hooligans and other names of old warring tribes I can't think of right now. Maybe it's related to the youth unemployment figures which, I understand are currently one in six. Surely it can't be jealousy I mean it's not exactly a £2,500 Marin mountain bike now is it? If I catch the little blighters I be delivering them somewhere, like the council tip where they belong!...

The last remaining Tunbridge Ware maker....

Some of you may have noticed a middled aged, rather laid back looking fellow walking around Tonbridge High Street and the park. Actually you more likely have noticed his fluffy white poodle. Peter Benjamin (I think that's his name) comes into Mr. Books in Tonbridge every so often for a chat on his way to walk the dog. Why do I mention him? Well it just so happens that Peter is the last surviving Tunbridge Ware maker and restorer in Tonbridge and he is a fascinating man to talk to particularly if he's talking about this secret craft of unique marquetry. Apparently the manufactuer of Tunbridge Ware did indeed start in Tonbridge to supply the growing desire for souvenirs which had developed around the Wells from the late 17th Century onwards. I believe I'm right in saying that the oldest and the biggest maker was George Wise who used to be situated on the north side of the town bridge about where Pizza Express in now. Later on there were manufacturers in Tunbridge Wells, Brighton and most probably Bath and every other place that it would sell. Then it spread to other towns around the world like Sorrento who tried to copy the tecniques which remain, to this day, shrouded in secrecy. Putting very simply indeed they string a load of different coloured woods together to make a pattern and then cut it into blocks so that they can repeat the pattern to enable them to make several similar boxes of pieces of furniture. It was, and is, a painstakingly process as the designs became ever more intricate. The early pieces are now highly collectable and worth, in some cases many thousands of pounds at auction. You can see a sizeable collection housed in Tunbridge Wells Museum if you wish to discover more on the subject. I'm not sure whether or not Peter has an apprentice but he certainly should as otherwise the craft may well leave Tonbridge forever in the not too distant future....

Mr. Books Cornwall branch?!..

Back from a wonderful trip to Cornwall. Very wet at times but that's the English summer for you! I did manage to get some surfing in at a lovely little cove called Porthtowan and some culture at the Minnack Theatre, which is carved into the cliffs near Lands End, and the Tate St Ives. Very relaxing and made me think I might yet open that Mr. Books Cornwall branch! I always get these holiday blues but don't worry I'll soon get over them. Pictures to follow unless at least five commenters say nooooo don't do it!...

Blog off Tonbridge....

Which will it be?...

State funeral for Harry Patch?...

Harry Patch the last surviving "Tommy" to have fought in the trenches of World War One has died at the age of 111. This man could have been killed in 1917, like over 70,000 of his comrades in arms were in the Battle of Passchendaele, but for fluke, keeping his head down, not being the first one over the top, falling over, being slightly more alert that day, he could have died a young man's death. But he didn't, he went into the living hell of the mud, the filth, the fear and the stench of death and passed out the other side to live a long and peaceful life. If this man doesn't deserve a state funeral then I don't know who does! I don't care what sort of a man he was, whether he argued with his wife and family (and I not suggesting he did by the way) none of that matters. What matters is the fact that this man was the last man to survive the horrors and therefore represents all the others thousands of poor young men who weren't so lucky. They never had lives, most of them hadn't even had meaningful relationships, never mind wives, families, grand children and great grand children. Lives ruined, families ruined, experiences that never were. For Harry's sakes, for Gods sake and for all our sakes let's have a massive state funeral and then draw a line under the whole damed war....

Warning to book thieves in Tonbridge....

I opened up an old leather bound copy of Fern Leaves From Fanny's Portfolio by Fanny Fern today (interesting title and actually quite scarce but that's by the by!) and on the first page was stuck a small label with these rather charming words:

Steal not this book for fear of shame,
For here you see the owner's name;
But if you do, the Lord will say,
"Where is that book you stole away?"
And if you say, "I cannot tell,"
The Lord will say, "Go down to hell."

You have all been warned!...

Goodbye Kristys?

Kristys has closed its doors for the final time recently if the white washed windows at the cards shop on Quarry Hill Parade are anything to go by. That's another empty shop in Tonbridge and probably another broken dream for the owners of the business. It is amazing that they couldn't make it work being so close to the railway station with the tremendous amount of passing trade they must have potentially had. I'll be honest with you and say that I only went in there once, when they first opened in fact to wish them well, but I did walk and drive past many times and the sure fire sign that a business is in trouble is the regular sight of that red "SALE" poster slapped across the window. The products they offered were mainly cards and, what I would call trickets, expensive Betty Boo handbags and purses, tacky but pricey ornaments and the like. A victim of the recession perhaps but, correct me if I'm wrong, they never seemed to be open early in the morning, when one would have thought a lot of affluent commuter trade would have been walking straight past their window. I'm no retail expert by any means, and it is a crying shame when any young business goes to the wall, but I do wonder whether or not they made the most of that prime site they were in. It sounds like TonbridgeBlog is twisting the knife a bit but that is definitely not my intention here. As always I'm just one blogger expressing a view....

£5.95 for lunch can't be bad!...

TonbridgeBlog has just taken his first lunch break in over four years, honestly! I've just taken my wife to Mama Mia's, what was the Grapes, and before that, the Office Wine Bar on the High Street in Tonbridge to try out their "Rapido" lunch menu. I put a notice on the door of the shop, again for the first time ever, saying "Closed For Lunch" which seemed a little strange since lunch is usually a sandwich, often with a bag of cheese n onion crisps or sometimes prawn cocktail flavour, but never anything as frivolous as smokey bacon. Off we went, all of fifty yards from Mr. Books, in fact, from our table, I could still see the front of my shop and keep my eye out for if I needed to rush back to serve the disgruntled queue of customers, by now anxious to get in to the shop. The Rapido menu looked very nice and, apparently, changes every day, but I have to say it was a little limited having a choice of only two starters and two mains, but then what can you expect for £5.95 these days? That said both choices sounded, and by this time smelt dislish. I plumped for the chicken salad starter (it was called something fancy and Italian sounding, with the word Pollo in there somewhere) followed by a lingini course with sausage, mushroom, cherry tomatoes and, curiously, peas. I'll be honest, being a fairly large chap, I was a little disappointed with the size of the portions, but frankly, at lunch time, it was just about enough. I washed that down with a glass of Montepulceano D'Abruzzo and some sparkling mineral water, which obviously cost extra. My wife had the other choices, which were soup followed by a tomatoey pasta dished, which was, she told me, equally tasty. I felt very satisfied afterwards, not too full, and happy to have got out for an hour in good company (well I have to say that in case she reads this blog!) The total bill was about £17.20 and I must have felt good because I gave the waitress a £1.80 tip. Actually, thinking about it, maybe I'm not feeling well!...

Oldest Man in Tonbridge revealed....

And here it is. The result of the oldest living resident in Tonbridge competition. This man moved into the town in his late twenties and has been here ever since. As you can see life has certainly taken its toll on this man of Kent. He certainly looks every one of his 104 years! But who is he?...

Who is Tonbridge's oldest man? (or woman?)

As Britain's (and the World's) oldest man, Henry Allingham, passes on TonbridgeBlog would like to start the quest to find Tonbridge's oldest living resident. It would be lovely if it turned out to be someone as full of the charisma and charm that Mr Allingham seemed to have even in his advanced years, someone who has served their country or the community in the same way as he did. I'm not sure that I'd like to live that long though actually as he must have seen all his loved ones, including his children and maybe even grand children, get old and die in that time. I'll settle for sitting in a deck chair on my 90th birthday, with ten of my great grand children running around my feet, as I slowly fall asleep and slip away. Anyway have a great weekend everyone, lots to live for....

Crying for Tonbridge....

Ok so not all of you like my poems! What's that you say? None of you do! Look I just was feeling a bit sentimental yesterday since it was my daughter's last day at primary school and it only seems like yesterday since she was starting in reception class at Hildenborough. Being an old softie I'm proud of myself that I did manage to go through the day without shedding a tear though, which was encouraging. Or was it, why should the school gate men of Tonbridge not wear their hearts on their sleeves? Come on, Gazza made it trendy to blub in the World Cup back in 1990! Just let it all out if it makes you feel better guys....

Last Day at School....

I wrote this poem a few years ago when I was quite new at being a school-gate dad, I'm an old hand now of course! So this is dedicated to all the young dads out there who'll be fighting back their emotions today. Seems quite topical at least:

My Cool Sports Shades (Last Day at School)

For the first time
I witness this touching spectacle
Before my eyes,
Unexpectedly tearful,
Behind my cool sports shades
In the warm July sun.

Smiling teachers
Beaming children shouting, excited;
Laughter.
“Freedom!” they cry.

Teachers grin sighs of relief,
Saying their final Goodbyes to parents,
They share hugs from the tearful
Girl leavers
And one or two boys.

Shirts signed by all their mates
From collar to tail.
Touching embraces, from secret sweethearts.
(Maybe one day, who knows?)
Or in another life perhaps.

Boys thinking they’re men,
Girls become women so fast.

Then first my boy
Through the crowd,
His face gradually appears, as I pick him out
His face relieved yet sad,
As he hands me a painting, of Everest.
(So many mountains to climb!)

Then my daughter
Like a fairytale princess
Sees me before I spot her.
Smiling, handing me paintings,
Notepads, pencil case and bag.
I become the porter for a whole year’s worth of kids stuff,
Like a cricket umpire; it’s part of my day.

“Year six now!”
“Year two now!”
But first that long rest in between awaits them.

“Pyjama Day tomorrow!”

It’s the end of term!

I dab a tear secretly
From the corner of my eye,
Behind my cool sports shades.

A day not to be missed!...

Some people criticised the inclusion of ads by Google on this blog when TonbridgeBlog first started to carry them. Reading the article on the Guardian's web site this morning about the back packer who went missing for 12 days in the Australian Blue Mountains, surviving on leaves and seeds, perhaps the critcs had some justification for their concerns. I swear to you this ad appeared underneath this report this morning:

"Blue Mountain Tours
See the beautiful Blue Mountains A day not to be missed. Good value
sydneyguide.net.au"

Shouldn't that be a day not to be missed followed by 11 to definitely be missed! It must be the way the search engine just picks out key words or something along those lines. In fact if you scroll down some of the ads next to TBlog posts you'll see some other strange examples like ads for services to get you tax refunds next to my posting about the MP claiming over £5,000 for a bookcase!...

Summer reading material....

I must choose some more books to read for the summer as I've just finished reading one and am about to come to the end of another. The one I've finished is called Spellbound, The Surprising Origins and Astonishing Secrets of English Spelling and despite the rather long and serious title I found the book to be rivotting. Does that make me a bore then? Well probably but it really was right up my street. The sign of a good book for me is if you pick it up just to dip into it, as I did with this one, and then you end up having to read the whole book. It was well written, often amusing, fairly succinct and contained some fascinating history of languages and the effects of the movement of people. I learnt that, generally speaking, with languages most people don't think far back enough, that is assuming they think about it at all. Most of us have a smattering of French, German or Spanish, cleverer folk among us might be able to speak Latin or Greek, maybe Dutch of Danish. But what if I said that all of these languages actually derived from the same root. Yes it's true. They all came from a language group that we now call Indo European and pretty much all the modern European languages derived from it and also a few that have died out. The really curious thing is that the English language is distinct from most, if not all, others because it is basically a merger of Italic (thanks to the Norman French) and Germanic (from our Anglo Saxons ancestors) but, if you go back a few thousands years further, both of these tongues would have been the same ie. Proto Indo European. If you are now bored then forget about this posting; if you now feel you want to read more then buy the book.
The other book, which I'm getting near the end of is Victoria Hislop's The Island which I do feel slightly dutybound to read since Victoria, wife of Ian, very kindly came along to my humble little bookshop for a book signing a month or so ago. She was going to the Hay on Wye lit fest the next day and then on to a festival in Norway a few days later, but she still found the time, being a Tonbridge lass, to support a local bookshop. I'm enjoying the book and am keen to finish it now that I'm reaching the final few chapters; it's probably not the sort of story I would usually enjoy, as it's rather a tragic tale (so far anyway) but I'm glad I picked it up. I'm not sure it will ever be a classic but could well be made into a fairly dark, yet uplifting film in the future. Please nobody post what happens at the end, that would just spoil it for me! Any body care to recommend a recent favourite book?...

Blame it on the Boogie!...

Maybe I've been walking around in a dream world this last few months or has the annual Festival of Music and Fireworks, which is being held at Tonbridge Castle this weekend, not been as well publicised as it is normally? Anyway, it's probably not too late to go along there (surely it can't be a sell out at £27.50 a ticket can it?) tonight for, and I quote the Tonbridge Castle web site: "Summer Nights: The world's greatest rock and pop musicals in concert is back by popular demand! The greatest songs from classic rock 'n roll shows like Grease, Dirty Dancing, Buddy, Fame and Tommy. This show features six star performers from London's West End and is backed by a live seven-piece band. This selection of classic hits will have you dancing all night long!" Let's hope so at that price eh! Then tomorrow, and I may even go along to this there's: "New for 2009! THE MAGIC OF MOTOWN The stage show that's taken the country by storm is coming to town! A superbly talented cast bring to life the hits of the Four Tops, the Supremes, the Temptations, the Jacksons, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder and many more! One hit song after another will bring the festival to a close in this spectacular Queen's Award-nominated stage show celebrating the world's most popular record label - Tamala Motown." Unintentionally topical I'll wager, but this one probably will be sold out what with the Michael Jackson fever that has descended on us. I still have never been along to this festival in all the years it's been running and am always reminded that it's on when I hear the musicians rehearsing in the afternoons before the show, whilst I'm sitting quietly in my shop (a free show you might say!) and then when I'm falling asleep on the sofa around 10-45pm (if last night was anything to go by) the boom, boom, crack, bang, fizzle, fizz of the fireworks marking, presumably, the end of the show. Anyone been this year, what's the buzz like? I would go along only I might not be able to control my feet!...

Vic Reeves At Gallery and Museum, Tunbridge Wells....

Good review on fellow local blog, Anke Tunbridge Wells, of the apparently rather bizzare art exhibition of comedian, Vic Reeves aka Jim Moir's, work entitle "The Natural History of Kent and Sussex Seen Through My Binoculars!"The man has a strange and brilliant comedic mind so I for one will be popping along at some point to see has weird and, no doubt wonderful, works. Got any booze fo' babby Vic?!...

Are police cars and ambulances (noise) polluting Tonbridge?...

Is it me or are there more police cars and ambulances tearing down Tonbridge High St. than ever! I've counted at least four this morning. Maybe its the stillness of the summer air which makes you notice them more. Maybe it's the Miami Vice-like sirens they use these days. They really do make you stop and look and get well clear of them, which I suppose is the point afterall. But do they have to be quite so intrusive? What was wrong with the good old fashion nee naw or indeed the Z-cars bell?! I'm not kidding I know of at least one family who used to live near the town centre, who actually left Tonbridge specifically because he and his wife had had enough of them. A bit drastic perhaps but that really was the reason this retired doctor gave for moving....

Feeling like a number one!...

I like a nice tune now and again don't you. Soon, is it this weekend? the Tonbridge Festival of Music and Fireworks is on at the Castle. (Obviously we couldn't do without the fireworks now could we?!) If you're not around this weekend then you'll probable miss the strains of a bootleg Beatles or a Mama Mia Abba trubute band or perhaps a seventies specialist band called the Funking Bar Stewards (they're out there I promise you!) Freddie Mercury lookalikes, maybe that Michael Jackson lookylikey fellow. They may even throw in some classical numbers to make us all feel more high brow and cultural; and speaking of music, in an idle moment this morning, listening to some programme on radio 4, as I occasionally do, I suddenly realised that I didn't know what the number one hit record was when I was born. I can tell you that my daughter's was Barbie Girl, by Aqua and my son's was Boom Boom Shake the Room by DJ Jaffy and the Fresh Prince. I know this because I went out and bought the cds just so they'd have them to listen in stunned silence to when they're middle aged! But incredibly I never been bothered to find out my own. Now if I'd been born a week earlier the first number one song I'd have ever heard would have been "Wonderful Land" by The Shadows , which wouldn't have been so bad. A week later would have been really cool as The King, Elvis Presley was top of the charts with "Good Luck Charm" now that would have been something. Around at the time in May 1962 were a whole host of now famous blues singers like John Lee Hooker, the Beatles were just getting started, as were the Rolling Stones. So what was the number one, selling probably a million records, as you had to in those days to be the top selling single in the UK? It was "Nut Rocker" by B. Bumble and the Stingers (well all bands had stupid names in those days!) I'm afraid I can't say I'd ever heard of it either! I've listened to it on Spotify.com (which, by the way if you don't know, is a brilliant way of getting free music online, and it's legal!) and actually it's not that bad but an instrumental, so not even a few catchy lines to quote to you....

Tonbridge's first beer festival....

Quite a few people have commented about the South East Beer Festival, held in Tonbridge over the weekend. Some were impressed, some not so. I now feel ever so slightly guilty having not been able, not felt like, forgot, had something else on, had to finish my book, had to get the grass cut before it chucked down, had to phone my sister, had to sort the car out, and all those other excuses to go myself in the end. From what I saw though having peered behind the rugby club a couple of times it did look reasonably well attended, although that really is just a passer by's snap shot. I'm not quite sure how many people they expect at such events. Perhaps one comment on this post had it spot on when they said that it appeared to be a rugby club event. It was at the TJs clubhouse, the large marquee was pretty well hidden behind it and the posted had two rugby players passing a beer barrel to each other (instead of a ball, geddit?) which on reflection was a little confusing to the potential visitor. I know myself from organising book fairs and other cultural events in Tonbridge that it can be very difficult on a low PR and advertising budget, to get people their on the day, that said their are enough visitors usually to make these events work. Perhaps as the event gets more established there, if they decide to keep it at the Tonbridge Juddians clubhouse that is, and the organisers get the message across that it isn't just for rugger buggars, it will work much better. After all they couldn't have had better weather conditions. At the risk of being slated by Paul Bailey, a regular commenter on this blog and also a proper real ale connoiseur, I might also suggest that maybe just maybe though, thinking about it, many people prefer like me to drink gassy lager in hot weather, instaed of all that treacley and hoppy stuff. Or isthat a hangable offence in CAMRA circles!!..

Halfords electric bikes for a cleaner and greener Tonbridge....

I sent an email to Halfords a couple of weeks ago on the subject of why wasn't this leading retailer at the forefront of promoting and selling electric bikes (scroll down this page for earlier postings on the subject.) I had high hopes that they would drive this forward in response to a concerned customer's (me that is) view. This is the reply they sent me, which, as you can see by my reply back to them, that I was pretty unimpressed with their rather cold but polite, safe and non-commital response. Although Robin, in their customer services department, does offer me a glimmer of hope, saying that they have been testing some e-bikes recently, I really was hoping for a bit more from the number one bike retailer, Halfords, than this:

"Thank you for your email, and please accept my apologies for the delay in our response. In regards to your query, Halfords are constantly bringing out fantastic new products. I saw new Electric bikes being tested just last week here at Halfords. For all the latest available products please follow this link: http://www.halfords.com/ Kind Regards, Robin. Halfords Customer Services"

To which my response was:

"Hello, I was hoping for something a bit more than a fairly standard reply from you. My point is that Halfords, being one of the top bike sellers in Britain, should be leading from the front on this one and making affordable electric bikes available to all. Your company would undoubtedly be on to a winner as no other leading retailer is doing it yet. In any case when I searched on your web site it seems that Halfords do in fact sell some online, but curiously not in store where customers would actually be able to see them, sit on them, perhaps trial them. The environment and climate change is a serious issue, right at the heart of government thinking and electric bicyles have been recognised as an important part of the solution for transport in the next few decades. They are just far too expensive for most pockets, other than the early adopters and those committed to green issues, Best Regards..."

Will that make any difference? let's wait and see....

Beer Festival in Tonbridge Now On....

Real ale fans may have spotted that there's Beer Festival on at the Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club this weekend. All w/e by the looks of it. There's a massive marquee at the back of the club house, looks very well organised from what I could see. Hoping to pay a visit there tomrrow to sample some of the fine and unusual selection of real ales and ciders. I'm leaving the car at home so there won't be any reason to go anywhere the wheel of my car! Judging by the poster (above) there are over 30 breweries there and over a hundred different beers. There's never any trouble at these largely middle class events but if there is then the rugby club boys will no doubt be on hand to nip it in the bud....

P Off again!...

I've said this before about the main Post Office on TonbridgeBlog but it needs saying again: STOP TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS WHEN I JUST WANT TO POST A PARCEL, PLEASE! I'm getting really sick of it. I have a credit card, but don't want another one, I'm sorted for household and motor insurance, I don't need travel insurance, I don't want another savings account, I'm happy with pay as you talk Vodafone for my mobile phone and I've got everything else you're trying to push on me. They'll be offering counselling services next! If I want any of these things I'll pick up a leaflet or make some enquiries myself or I'll ask you; afterall, in the queue, I've already seen that fat bloke from the TV programme, Early Doors, larking about on the instore screen while telling me about all these various fantastic services you offer. What I don't need is for some sheepish, embarrassed lady with zero sales ability to ask me questions she'd rather not, about products and services she doesn't really understand, and I'd rather not hear about. It's tantamount to hassling and abusing their captive audience of mainly middle aged and older folk, it's too pushy and it needs to stop. I'm going to get a big badge designed to wear every time I go into Tonbridge PO saying: REGULAR CUSTOMER, PLEASE DON'T TRY TO SELL ME ANYTHING OTHER THAN A STAMP! It wouldn't be so bad if I had a realistic choice of going to another post office, like Olive's shop which they closed down about a year ago along with all the other sub POs which actually used to offer you a good service rather than try to milk you dry. So my message to Adam Crozier, CEO of The Royal Mail, ex-Chief Executive of The Football Association, and employer of Sven 'The Philanderer' Goran Erickson, ex-MD of Saatchi and Saatchi advertising agency, ex-Daily Telegraph Advertising Sales Executive, where, allegedly, he was sacked for cooking the books and favouring a certain big ad agency, Saatchi & Saatchi with whom he, oh let's see, walked into a job shortly after this incident. Funny that! It's all on Google! (Yes he was a much younger man then but it showed what lengths this man would go to get on in business) is stop trying to milk us dry we've had enough of it!....

Hot summer nights, alcohol and swimming in rivers just don't mix....

Driving through Tonbridge High Street, late last night (around midnight) there were two Police cars and an ambulance parked next to the town bridge and a small crowd of young people were gathered peering over into the water. I do hope it's not another tragic incident involving young folk having a few too many drinks on a hot summer's evening, thinking they're invincible, wanting to cool off, wanting to show off, and then getting int difficulty in the river, with terrible consequences. I don't know if that has happened, but I wouldn't be at all surprised since it has happened about every three years since I've lived in Tonbridge. It will be a terribly sad sight to see yet more flowers tied to the railings on that bridge, from which some say the town gets its name. I know it's hardly worth even uttering, but when will they learn? We're a pretty robust lot us humans, in the main, but sometimes I wonder how any of us manage to reach the age of thirty....

"Fire" wins Sports Day on scorcher....

I watched my daughter pick up a clutch of rosettes at the Slade school sports day yesterday afternoon. The poor kids had to do around 8 events each which included skipping, hooplaaing, football, dribbling skills, hockey stick dribbling skills and then lots of running races, which, lets face it, are the main reason most parents go along. I say rosettes because these days the prizes are stickers in the shape of a rosette, but let's not split hairs! At the risk of sounding obvious, what a scorcher! my goodness it was hot out on that field; still at least the children got to sit in the shade inbetween events while us poor parents had to endure sitting around on the grass, cheering and clapping (exhausting things like that) in the full heat of the day! Mrs Resche, the head teacher at Slade, was doing a wonderful job, marshalling, announcing, sirening (for the change of events) and generally keeping things ticking along in her usual amazingly cheerful way. Towards the end when the teams' scores were being totted up the call came for the older brothers and sisters race, then...the parents race! I thought they'd stopped doing these add on races these days so I came totally unprepared! I was persauded, not that I needed much persauding, to have a go so off I went, adrenaline pumping to the start line! Now I did used to be a bit nippy in my rugby playing days, even though I say so myself, but it has been quite a few years since I've really sprinted flat out, let alone in a race. I looked round at the other competitive dads, who were mostly younger than me (when the heck did that happen!) a couple of them wearing suit trousers, but most in shorts because of the weather. One guy was taking the race far too seriously as he went, Zola Bud style, bare foot to the start line, rolling up his shirt sleeves as he did! It could be that he had been wearing flip flops but I think that this was his secret weapon! No time to go home to search in the loft for my old running spikes, so I just simply took all the stuff out of my pockets, you know wallet, mobile phone, loose change, car keys, shop keys, house keys (all the stuff that weighs us all down in our adult lives!) then started to limber up, stretched the calf muscles, pulled my foot up behind my bum for the quad stretches, wheeled my shoulders and arms around a few times, (well at my age you can't take any chances with pulled muscles can you) more adrenalin pumping and we were off.... Poor start, around 90 kids, egged on by my daughter, were shouting "Come on Mr. Books" (I kid you not!) as I struggled to keep up with the rest of the field in the first 50 metres. Then something happened inside me (no I didn't need the toilet) I'm talking about the zone! I felt a little bit of the mist that only comes with total focus and concentration, something I haven't felt in a long while, come over me as I kicked into another gear. I pulled past the stragglers, then the third placed athlete with the bare feet, then the second lanky one, who'd tried to fool us all that he was old and past it, then the first place was in my peripheral vision on the far side of the track, this guy was fast, he must have been a county standard sprinter at some point, or at any rate he was a good twenty years younger than me! I was really flying by this time myself as a dug deep and reached inside myself for one last surge of energy, ah....then the tape, I'd only come second! But do you know what, with another twenty metres I reckon I'd have had him! I always did have a slow start and was much better at 200 hundred and 400. For a fleeting moment I thought of raising a stewards inquiry for, surely, the guy who won was too young to be in the dad's race! Surely you have to be over forty to really qualify these days! Still second wasn't so bad for an old git like me and there's always the egg and spoon race next year! The children seemed to be having a fantastic day, especially the ones who won lots of prizes and the school reintroduced a house system this year to bring back that competitive element with the names being based, the children's choice, on the natural elements. The red team "Fire" (pictured) narrowing won the day over "Earth" and lifted the trophy ("Water" were still running behind!; quite appropriate really that fire should win on such a scorching hot day....

A night out on the town....In West Malling!...

Being as we live in the borough of Tonbridge and MALLING and I have an old pal who lives over at the King's Hill development, I thought, just for once, I'll have a night out in West Malling and why not! The truth is, partly anyway, it was my wife's turn to host her book club meeting and I couldn't face being a spare part in my own house all evening; and also it was high time my mate and I got together for a good old chat over a pint. I didn't mind being driver for the evening either as, in this hot weather, I often drink pints of ice cold weak lager shandy as I find they hit the spot perfectly and quench my thirst. So off I went to pick my mate up from his posh pad on the King's Hill Estate; I nearly bought a house there about ten years ago when it was still mostly a building site and sometimes wish I had since ME19, I learnt last night, is officially the most wealthy post code in the country. (Although how they worked that one out is a debate for another time.) Driving through the gates of the ME19 estate these days is like passing through into a parallel world; a world of Premier League footballers, and asset managers, golfers and squash players, stock brokers and business owners. I'm not saying it's exclusive there but even the Fire Station is ex-directory! We didn't go to the estate's only pub, The Spitfire, which on previous experience I remember as being pretty souless, choosing instead to go into the busy metropolis of West Malling! I'll be honest and say that although I was looking forward to spending some time with my old university buddy I was slightly dreading being stuck in a sleepy little boozer in the backwater of West Malling! How wrong could I have been! Maybe because it was a balmy summer evening, maybe because I need to get out more, but there seemed to me to be a fantastic atmosphere in the town centre of Tonbridge's step-sister town. Lads and lasses, young and old, many dressed up like they were on a night out in Southend, some, like me, wearing jeans and T-shirts spilled out in their hundreds onto the pavements outside the two oldy worldy inns on the High Street; I can't really comment on the quality of the beer or the price of it for that matter, since I was on the shandies all night, but what I do know is that I was very pleasantly surprised and will definitely go back for more. I couldn't help but make comparisons with going out in Tonbridge town centre with it's busy narrow road preventing any safe al fresco drinking, its blaring police and ambulance sirens disturbing the peaceful evening air. West Malling has the old fashioned village atmosphere of the Five Pointed Star and the Bull Inn, Tonbridge has the large-chain pub, plastic experience of The Slug and Lettuce and Weatherspoons that's about it. Rather sad really when you think how good it could be....

Five Grand on a bookcase!...

TonbridgeBlog never had many, if any, doubts about you Sir John! But even so it's good to have it confirmed that you are indeed "Squeaky clean" as the Kent and Sussex Courier reported today, echoeing the same phrase this blog used some weeks ago. Unless of course you consider £998.75 on plastic folders to house over 10,000 letters a year a vice, or £200 on a mattress, or £40 on a garment rail. In fact The Right Hon. Sir John Stanley, Tory MP for Tonbridge and Malling, claims that he is makes the lowest allowances claim in Kent. Good on you I say cos that's how it should be. Good job he wasn't anything like neighbouring MP for Tunbridge Wells, Greg Clark, who claimed over £6,000 for a, get this, training course in Parliamentary Speaking! It beggars belief, surely he should be paying for that himself, if it's to further his own career. Or MP for Sevenoaks, Michael Fallon, who appears to have got carried away shopping when he claimed over £5,000 for having a bookcase fitted to house his monthly copies of the paliamentary log, Hansard. Should have gone to Ikea Mr. Fallon, I managed to fit out a whole bookshop for less than £2,000, shelves which house around 15,000 books! Hansard is an incredibly boring read anyway, try the new Victoria Hislop novel instead, far more gripping and stop trying to rip off the tax payer, we're hard up enough as it is!...

TonbridgeBlog refused service in the new Tonbridge pound shop!...

Hopefully this article won't start a tirade of negative comments but that's a risk I'll have to take. Yes it's a shame that Woollies is no more, but that's hardly the new enterprising owners fault now is it. No doubt they won't be paying full whack for the lease but good luck to them for being able to negotiate it, albeit only until September from what TonbridgeBlog hears. There I was walking past the shop this morning without really the time to go in and have a good look; so I thought that I'd just pop in to see if it was as bad as some people, including some commenters on this blog, had made out. Ok it wasn't Harrods, or even M&S for that matter, alright not even Robert Dias but was it really all that bad? Any worse than Poundstretcher? or those other cheapo shops down most High Streets these days? They have actually got hundreds, if not thousands of different lines, mostly for a quid! It's almost impossible to go in there and not buy something. I had absolutely no intention of spending anything at all in there and even a tight sod like me still came out minus a fiver. So I won't go in there every day or even every week, but shops like these do have their place; and anyway where are the up market retailers queueing up to take on the Woolworth's lease? It'll probably be quite a few years before that happens. What did I buy? well, very boring, but I needed some bubble envelopes for the shop. In the Post Office, where I bought some recently, a pack of 5 will set you back £3.59. In Woollies Pound Emporium they were, yes you've guessed it, one pound. There is a PS to this story and it's a good job I don't embarrass easily: when I handed over my tenner to pay I was met with a "Sorry Sir but we can't take this!" on closer inspection I'd tried to pay with an old style, out of date £10 illegal note. So that's it, the slippery slope: I've been refused service in the Tonbridge pound shop!!..

TonbridgeBlog joins in live debate with Ed Milliband on Climate Change....

My latest posting on twitter is in response to a Downing Street twitter, or tweet as they're known, inviting people to join in a live debate about climate change. I think I'm becoming obsessed with electric bikes because I cannot stop banging on about them now! Any bike shops out there who want me to test ride one, please feel free, I won't be shy or embarrassed about it and will give a full and honest account of my extended road test; let's say I keep the e-bike for about a year to be going on with! Anyway this is what I sent to Ed Milliband via Twitter (remember you have to fit your tweet into a max of 140 characters; by the wayI managed, rather skilfully to do that exactly in this case as it happens! so it concentrated the mind to be succinct and to the point, unlike here)

"@DowningStreet Why doesn't Mr. Milliband spearhead a drive to get people to take to electric bikes. V. clean & green, but far too expensive!"

Tonbridge Gassers and Rubber Fanciers anyone?!

There are many events going on at the Angel Centre across the Summer months. Masses for the kids if you want to get shot of them in the school holidays! Masses for flower arrangers and decorative/fine artists, society's for older folk wanting to find themselves in their retirement (U3A) and why not?! There are post card fairs, record collector fairs, stamp fairs, you name it. There's even a club with the rather suspiciously name Tonbridge Gassers and Rubber Fanciers! I kid you not. They claim to be a model aircraft society but I'm not going to risk going to one of their meetings to find out! There's bound to be a club or society right up your street so if you want to take a closer look and can't be bothered to walk or cycle along on your electric bike to the Angel Centre's reception desk then you can see the online leaflet here. It could be the start of something new in your life. Now I'm starting to sound like an advertisement for Tonbridge Council leisure services!...

Why no electric bikes Halfords?!..

Not wishing to go on about electric bikes too much here is a copy of the email I've just sent to Halfords having looked at their web site and been surprised that they don't appear to sell ANY electric bikes:

"Hello, I'm suprised to see that Halfords aren't at the forefront in driving forward electric bike sales. Surely these machines are a major part of the future solution to transport problems in Europe and the wider world. Are there any plans in the pipeline at Halfords to sell an affordable, good looking, light weight, longer range selection of e-bikes? People who live in hilly areas would be encouraged to ride more without dreading having to struggle up those steeper ones, school children would be attracted to them giving them greater independence, commuters would love them and would get to work quicker and cheaper, town centres would eventually be unblocked as riders see the benefits of not sitting for hours wasting their lives in traffic jams. What's not to like?! But they need to be affordable! I'd love to hear your views,

Best Regards
Bookshop Owner, Commuter, Loyal Halfords Customer, Leisure Cyclist, Ex-Motorcylist, concerned about the environment."