Sorry to bang on about Parking Wardens/Parking Attendants but....

Actually I think that they go by the name of Civil Enforcement Officers these days which sounds like something futuristic in a Clint Eastwood directed film about town councils having taken over the whole district and being able to do whatever they like so long as they pay their hench men enough danger money. All of which is laughable as I doubt that they're empowered do much more these days, and certainly not to make arrests, so it might be that the only difference between what they used to do, ie. issue parking tickets, and what they do now is that they can impose an on the spot fine or, more likely, call for back up when a dog owner fails to pick up their dog's crap from the grass near the swings at The Slade. So what's brought this sudden onslaught on then? I hear some of you thinking. Why's he banging on about Parking Wardens again then? Well I'll tell you why. It's because only last Friday I was attending the Angel Centre Flea Market, as I quite often do, combining it with a trip to the Post Office. As I'm sure you all know you can buy a half hour parking ticket for just 50p which is just about enough time to do both PO and Flea and open up Mr. Books by 10am. I went to the PO and then to the Flea where I had a quick look around and then got talking to one of the stall holders about this and that. Aware that my half an hour was running out I had to cut the conversation short and got back to my car with about 4 minutes to spare. Of course by this time there was not one but two of said Civil Enforcement Officers hovering, that's the only word for it, hovering menacingly over my car like hyenas around a recently killed carcass. I actually felt slightly threatened and more than a bit sickened by this and, at the time, was just glad that they'd missed their prey. The disappointment was etched all over their faces as they edged away on seeing that the owner had had the cheek to return on time. We could simply laugh these things off or say that they're only doing their job. Well I, for one, no longer find this funny, they've over stepped the mark. I cannot believe that this approach is doing Tonbridge shoppers, residents and indeed traders any good whatsoever. Time to get rid of these Goons and bring in traffic wardens/attendents, actually I don't care what they're called, just so long as they want to keep the main roads from being blocked but aren't interested in the easy pickings in the public car parks which, no doubt, keep their quotas up but, at the same time, help drive shoppers away from Tonbridge....

Anthony Horowitz'sVisit to Mr. Books....

WOW! That's the first word that springs to mind. Anthony Horowitz arrived at Mr. Books pretty much dead on the arranged time of 3pm. Even then there was quite a long queue forming up the High Street towards the Bank Street corner. (Almost to the old Mr. Books shop in fact.) After a quick cutting of the ribbon ceremony and a few pics for the local newspaper Anthony sat down just inside the back room of the bookshop. I'd arranged it so that everyone would have a brief one-on-one moment with the famous author, they deserved that after, in some cases, a two hour wait. Just about everyone posed for photos alongside him and many people brought their old favourites with them, as well as the books and graphic novels they bought on the day, to be signed. There were as many people in my shop yesterday than there would be in about two normal weeks. It was probably a shot in the arm for Tonbridge and certainly it was for Mr. Books Bookshop. Of that there can be no doubt. Of the nine or ten large boxes I ordered from my book wholesaler for the event only one small box, and that only half full, is being sent back as returns. In short it was amazingly successful. I think it demonstrates very much that real, tangible books with covers printed on real paper are far from dead. There wasn't a Kindle in sight. After all what would have been the point in Mr. Horowitz signing the Kindle down load edition!  The reason I wanted Anthony Horowitz in particular to do my 'Grand Opening' was because yes he is popular; but also he's an inspirational writer particularly to young people (and especially boys) between the ages of around 7 to 14 years. Precisely the age that they should be discovering books, reading new stories, working out complex plots and expanding their minds. Yesterday's event just goes to show how a great writer can still capture he imaginations of literally millions of readers. Long live the real book....

Anthony Horowitz is Coming to Tonbridge next Wednesday

Anthony Horowitz will be coming to Mr. Books Bookshop for the (okay somewhat belated) Grand Opening next Wednesday February 20th from 3-30pm to around 4-30pm. After a very short cutting of the ribbon type ceremony Anthony will then be signing his latest book, Oblivion, which is the final thrilling episode of his Power of Five series. On sale at the shop there'll also be a selection of his other popular books and graphic novels aimed at both children and adults. Recently I read his Sherlock Holmes book, The House of Silk, and was mightily impressed. The whole idea of Anthony coming to Tonbridge was sparked off when my family bumped into the man himself in a bookshop in Hay on Wye just before his talk at the town's annual literary festival. On and off, I've been badgering his marketing people ever since and that chance meeting was about four years ago. Social networking also played quite a big part as my recent cheeky comment on twitter asking AH to come and do my Grand Opening seems to have been what finally swung it. It seems that persistence and patience really can pay of sometimes! It's all happening next Wednesday at Mr. Books, 142 High Street. I can't wait.... Find out more about the event on Mr. Books website and about his fabulous books on Anthony Horowitz's 

Collectibles? Are we Yanks?...

I know this is really nit picky but I can't let it go. The new show case in the Post Office to help sell their many collectable coin and stamp first day covers looks lovely and I'm sure will catch the eye of many a collector. But you see the thing is it reads: "Collectibles" That is to say the American way of spelling it. Should it not read: "Collectables" since we are in England. Doesn't matter you say? The English language is evolving anyway, you cry. Poppycock, some of you may say, we should protect the English language from a slow demise into creeping Americanisms and hip hop, gangster slang, alrite. If only Inspector Morse were alive he'd put them straight! I'm not the only one to have commented on their linguistic error according to the lady who served me today and The Post Office has got some explaining to do....

Driving me potty....

If I ask very nicely can someone at the council or Highways or Sainsbury's or Beales or who ever the hell's responsibilty it is please fill in the two huge pot holes which are right in the front entrance to the Sainsbury's carpark. (Actually, come to think of it, which is the front and the back of Sainsbury's these days?) Anyway I mean the entrance with the mini roundabout opposite the store's petrol station. Three times now one of these pot holes has nearly taken my front axles off and I can't be the only one. If you don't respond to this kind request someone will sue very soon. Privided that they can work out who they should sue of course. They've been there a few weeks now and really there is no excuse for not getting them repaired quicker than this....

New Independent Butchers in Tonbridge....

It's absolutely marvellous that a traditional butchers has decided to open on Tonbridge High Street. They've been very industrious in telling people up and down the High Street that they are now open. Not just shoving a leaflet through the door but actually coming into my shop to talk about it. Actually I had noticed them already and had wondered what the shop was going to be just before they opened; thought it might be a poncey deli actually but rather pleased it isn't. They are situated right next to McDonald's but I'm hoping that their burgers are alot tastier and more generous than Maccie D's! I really really really will try to support them but I did say that about the greengrocers and look where that got them. Being married to a pescavegetarian (that's a new word I've just made up which means someone who eats fish and vegetables but definitely no meat from furry animals) I don't have a weekly meat shop but I am rather partial to nice meaty burgers, home made sausage rolls, and fine pork pies. I've already had me lunch and yet my mouth is watering at the mere thought of all this lovely food.  I've been saying for sometime that it's incredible that an old market town like Tonbridge can have a High Street with no butchers but I'm pleased to say that Ian Chatfield's have now put that right and good on em....

Get along to your Tonbridge Farmers Market....

A date for your diary especially if you like cooking seafood is the Tonbridge Farmers Market on Sunday February 10th. I can't believe that anyone hasn't yet been to this wonderful monthly market but, if you haven't, it's held on the second Sunday of every month on the car park area at to the back of Waitrose. Quite simply it's a foodie's delight. Here's the latest press release about "Scollop Sunday!" That's me calling it that not them but I don't mind if they nick the idea!

"Scallop Special

The market is always a great place to get your fresh local produce, but this time of year, with the cold water around our fabulous coast line, there's no better time to try our local sea food.

With this in mind, in conjunction with Enterprise Fisheries we are having a Scallop Special.

Gary Copeland from Enterprise said “Although most people are aware of the fabulous sea food we have it amazes me how few have cooked or eaten this fantastic Mollusca.”

To start the new season Gary will have an extra stall by his normal stall selling and giving advice about this local delicacy.

The market kitchen will also be serving up some wonderful dishes that will centre on this fantastic seafood. "

Of course if you don't care for seafood there will be around 59 other stalls to choose from. You'll probably find me over at the cheese of real ale stalls sampling their delights. If I'm honest, even for someone as supportative as me of local events, I do find the prices on some of some stalls a little on the pricey side but I think we sometimes forget just what work goes into proper food production and preparation. So actually, all things considered I don't mind paying the extra once a month because you simply cannot compare a lovingly produced, award winning pot of Seville marmalade with one bought from a well known brand at Sainsbury's. The branded one would no doubt be okay, alright, so so, average, passable but the other would be simply sublime and make you taste buds explode. Yes I'm talking about Kathy's Great Preservations stall again as partly I love her marmalades and also I love the name which has a distinctly literary flavour to it. It would be like comparing Maxwell House coffee granules in a jar, which might be quite pleasantly drinkable, with an espresso using freshly ground Arabicca beans and prepared by an experienced barista in a time honoured fashion, who knew precisely how finely to grind the beans, how evenly to tamp them and the exact moment to pull a perfect tasse. In other words no comparison....

Prince Harry, Doctor Who and Fun in the Snow....

It's been over a week since my last blog here, although not elsewhere, so I guess I'd better keep things going in case you all lose interest if you haven't already switched off or over to those other tame Tonbridge blogs. Stuff in the news at the moment? Now there's a topic if ever there was one. Any thoughts on the diplomacy of the lovely Prince Harry?! I enjoyed watching his candid interviews on BBC and Sky News but couldn't help thinking that his reference to X Box games, and him being handy with his thumbs, when talking about killing the enemy was more than a little tactless. Those were my thoughts but what about yours?
More local issues: did anyone attend the Jane Austen talk last night at the Angel Centre? I intended to go but couldn't make it in the end. Did they prove beyond doubt that Ms. Austen lived and breathed in our town? Or does it remain just frustratingly highly likely that she was here but no actual proof? If only I had a time machine!
And speaking of which I received my 11 ft Doctor Who style scarf yesterday in the post just in tie for another cold walk home. So if you think that you've seen Tom Baker walking along Tonbridge High Street, looking 30 years younger, it's probably just me. The best thing about this scarf, other than the sheer quality of it, is the supplier's name is Timelord Knitwear! Actually they supply lots of Doctor Who societies around the world and generally their scarves are 15 ft but I thought I'd go for a more manageable length.
The snow can be fun as I witnessed on my Sunday walk over to Lambs Bank near the back of Mabledon Farm. The sledges, boards and even sheets of cardboard were out in force as children and quite a few grown ups hurtled their way to near death collisions with the fence and stile at the foot of the hill! My kids are far too cool and teenager-like to bother these days so there was a side of me that felt quite sad and nostalgic as I watched the fun. I've pretty much had enough of the snow though now. Well not so much the snow as the slush and ice which go hand in hand with it. You see we just don't seem to be able to cope with it not being used to the cold weather and all. I for one feel very nervous driving anywhere in these conditions as most places off the beaten rack are like driving on an ice rink. The main roads are pretty much clear but what's the use in that if you glide into a neighbour's car while trying to get out of your own street?! Think I'll stick with Shank's Pony for a bit longer....

Looks a bit Saucy: Mr. Books window display #5

I don't normally go in for blatant advertising on this blog but worth mentioning that Mr. Books has another, potentially award winning, window display which, rather bravely, has a mannequin in it sporting a silk bra Shock horror! The girl from the chinese takeaway next door was tickled by this and asked me, jokingly, if it was Superwoman! (Which sounded very funny the way she said it.) But no it's actually part of a Haberdashery-themed window which was an idea my wife spun me. I must admit that I wouldn't have necessarily gone for this one without a little gentle persuasion on her part but, now I see it, I do think it's another triumph! (that's a bra joke in case you're a bit slow today!) I'd love to bring you pictures of this needleworking masterpiece but, alas, Google blogger is experiencing problems with picture uploading this week. Maybe you'll have to come along for a proper live look instead. I dunno, perhaps even buy a book or two while you're here! There's up to 50% thousands of books for another week or so as well....

Music to someone's ears in Tonbridge....

Will this shop unit ever open up again as a going concern?

HMV closing doesn't directly effect Tonbridge High Street you'd think, I guess other than the question of where now to go to buy a real music cd. Not that HMV were exclusively selling cd's. No, indeed they were selling all kinds of things the last time I looked in there. I actually went in to buy a couple of particular records if they had them; they were the sort that you'd have expected to find in a bigger record shop. But, oh no, they could order them in for sure. But then what's the point of that. In that case I may as well have sat at home and ordered it rather than have to raipse all the way back to Tunbridge Wells again. They did have a selection of music books, lots of chart dvd's, a headphones section, even some i-pods. I didn't realise that they stocked all those other things and it might have been handy if I'd needed any of them. But I didn't. In fact I left the store feeling a little let down and thinking that here was a once great store who seemed not to have a clue what its identity was. I'm not saying it was easy for them to survive in the current economic environment but those where my observations a few weeks ago. As far as Tonbridge is concerned though I'd say that HMV's troubles present someone with an opportunity. There's no record shop in the town since Bionic Records closed a couple of years ago and, surely, I cannot be alone in wanting an actual physical cd, rather than downloads, to play music with. I no longer want to rely on the dreaded amazon since finding out their position on payment (or, more accurately, non-payment) of British taxes so where do I go? You see, it's like books, many people still like to go out, shop and browse for their music. It's all about that moment when you find something you weren't expecting, a record you didn't necessarily go to the shop for, which strikes a chord, brings back a memory. You buy it and come out feeling good that you've obtained something which will give you hours of pleasure. I'd suggest a similar kind of business to the one Bionic had in fact as I know that they didn't close through lack of customers but, more, through not wanting the mill stone of having the shop around their necks for another five years of the lease; after 30 years in the business who can blame them? But for some twenty or thirty something with a love of music, who has a bit of a nose for trading (because you'll need one) I'd say give it a go. In fact I'm open to giving the right person a bit of advice and perhaps even backing the enterprise so convinced am I that it would be popular in Tonbridge. You wouldn't even have to call it Mr. Records alhough, I must say, it strikes the right note with me!...

Things are looking up despite Jessops closure....

No time for last minutes bargains to be swept up

Okay, I admit, I usually struggle to get going in the new year. It seems to take me a few weeks to get over the anti climax of the festive season and just get back into my normal stride. There's still loads of mince pies and Christmas cake left over and enough malt whiskey to last until the next general election. Come to think about it that may be sooner than we previously thought so I better get drinking! One thing that seems to never change though is the contsant threat of imminent shop closures. The latest of course being Jessops, the photographic retailer which was established in the 1930s. I remember buying my first proper camera from their New Oxford Street flagship store in the 1980s when I worked in that area. How proud I was of my Olympus compact and it rewarded me with loads of stunning prints. But in the 25 or so years which have passed times have changed for ever and customers seem to be happy to let household names go by the way side to let the new age retailers on the interweb take over. I passed Jessops this morning on my way into work because I felt sad for them, sad for the High Street in general and sad for the employees whose livelihoods are being effected. I also admit that a small part of me wanted to get in the shop and buy that Canon EOS 600D SLR, at a large discount of course, which I've been pondering over for far too long. It seems that I haven't been alone in my pondering; camera usage has increased dramatically over the last five years but this increase has largely been with inbuilt cameras on mobile phones and, more recently, so called smartphones. I'm afraid I am guilty of this and have thought how nice it would be to have an SLR but, then, would I have got my £600 worth of use out of it? Probably not, so I held off buying one until I could easily afford one; that turned out to be too late for Jessops. That said the recession clearly paid its part in the store group's sudden closure. Some of you may find it surprising that I'm ever the optimist though. Yes I really am. For what my opinion is worth, and this is based partly on my day to day observations of shoppers over the last few months compared with other years, I think we have seen the worst of this recessionary period. Shoppers are fed up with the doom and gloom and won't hold off buying things forever. Eventually you have to replace the dishwasher, the leaking kettle and the garden fencing. Then you'll go out and treat yourself to that pair of designer jeans or Nespresso coffee machine because, as economists say, in the long run we're all dead! So my predictions for New Year are: the economy will grow around 2%. Retail sales will be markedly up on 2012 full year by the end of 2013. The stock market, led by another tech shares surge, will rise by at least 20%. House prices will start to show a steady increase as more new buyers decide that they need somewhere permanent to live. Finally the printed book will make a resurgence as people realise that kindles and other electronic tablets are a souless way to read a beautifully created story. Well I can at least live in hope on that one!...

New Year Resolutions....

After a very refreshing New Year break on the beautiful wild Lincolnshire coast Tonbridge Blog is back in the Garden of England feeling enlivened (if a little hung over.) It wasn't all partying for me though over the festive period, oh no I won't be accused of that. In fact I worked for most of it. I also did alot of visiting of family and friends as is right and proper. Oh and I also dug deep and did quite a few grueling 4 or 5 mile runs. Actually rather pleasant ones along the seafront. That leads me on nicely to mention a couple of events for the diary this year. The Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon is on Sunday, February 24th and The Tonbridge Half is later in the year on September 22nd. Having lapsed a little in the second half of last year, I'm starting to train for these now although I'm not sure I fancy the TWells one as it is more than a bit hilly in places. The course record is just over 4 minutes but I'd be pleased if I cracked two hours. So New Year for me is about setting a few fitness challenges and personal goals and actually meaning it and setting an action plan in order to achieve my realistic objectives. On the other hand I might just go down the pub! Here's to you all meeting your own personal goals in Tonbridge and beyond . Realise your dreams in 2013. Hey, that (almost) rhymes....

Lucky for some....

Well here we are at the end of another year. For me it's been a very busy and eventful one. Just before Christmas my brother had a new baby which is always a nice thing to happen any time of year. I had been anticipating a move into new shop premises for Mr. Books for most of the first half of 2012 and was on tenterhooks for much of March and April. I got the go ahead from my landlord in March and signed a lease in May, opening the very new look Mr. Books on June 1st. What some of you may not know is that this was the shop I'd looked at almost as soon as I opened the old shop around the corner in Bank Street. I saw it in an old Tonbridge Guide from the 1950s advertised as Greg's Bookshop and Stationers. I looked through the window one day and saw its huge potential even back then seven years ago. In fact, as I later found out, 142 High Street was a bookshop and/or stationers for most of the 20th Century. So you see, in a way, I've restored it to it's traditional use. Sadly though the move was tinged with sadness as the owner of the previous business passed away just after I'd moved in. So a big thank you has to go to Christine Izzard for being so lovely, putting a strong word in for me to my new landlord and for putting up with my cheek! She always said that my business would do well in this location and, so far, touch wood, that is proving the case. The last six months have flown by for me but, right now, I'm really feel the need for a few days off having only taken Christmas Day itself. Even the serfs in Medieval times would have 12 days off!
So onwards to the brand new year of 2013. That sounds like a date well into the 21st Century. No longer can we say the dawn of the new millennium; we're in the teenage years already. Lets hope that those years are a sight more peaceful than the teenage years of the last century. 1913 was the dawn of an age far more frightening than most of us can still imagine. Here's hoping then that 13 is a lucky number for all of you....

Merry Christmas but Kids of Tonbridge don't read this.....

This has to be the most amusing, if cruel, story I've read this Christmas. It's the story of the Santa who was recently sacked from Notcutts Garden Centre for telling children that he wasn't real! I kid you not read it here if you don't believe me. On the face of it it seems somewhat inappropriate to tell children this particularly as their parents had just paid £5.99 for the privilege of meeting him but then he was, after all, only telling them the truth. So could he not have a good case at the North Pole industrial tribunal! Can someone be sacked for simply telling the harsh truth? I remember telling my son that there was no tooth fairy when he was about seven years old and he said, rather astutely, "Next you'll be telling me there's no Father Christmas." I managed to keep my job as a dad by staying silent for the next few minutes and the moment and the temptation to tell him was gone. You see kids aren't daft. Though, as my wife always says, they believe in him because they want the eggs. In other words it's in their interest to keep believing in Santa even when the story doesn't quite stack up and that face seems suddenly very familiar!  Anyway a very Merry Christmas to everyone in Tonbridge, with friends and family in Tonbridge or anyone who cares about our town. Whatever you believe in.....

Bob Ogley's Hurricane of Information....

Went along to the Tonbridge Civic Society Christmas talk yesterday evening to enjoy a mince pie (or two) and a glass of mulled wine (or three) followed by a talk by guest speaker, Bob Ogley. As he informed us Bob has been a writer since 1987 when his first book, In the Wake of the Hurricane, found immediate success nationally following the storms of that year which had such a devastating effect on Kent. Most of Bob's other books have not, by his own admission, found anything like the same sales success as his first but he's managed to produce over 20 books related to the county including famous ones like Biggin on the Bump, Ghosts of Biggin Hill and Kent A Chronicle of the Century. The last of these is chocca full of facts about Kent, its history and its people. Facts are Bob's stock in trade, if last night's talk was anything to go by, as a great blast of them came blowing over his audience. Indeed it was almost as if a great hurricane of information was hurling towards us. We were informed, and entertained, at gale force speed, about how Dickens had almost died on the railway track between Ashford and Tonbridge, how poet laureates had lived and worked nearby, how Van Gogh had lived, studied and worked on the Kent coast and how inmates of the infamous prison hulks were treated and how the only one who ever escaped from one alive was the fictitious character, Magwich, from Dickens' Great Expectations. The great author himself of course was from nearby Rochester. You get the idea. Ogley is clearly a man with huge passion and enthusiasm for Kent facts and history and an infectious desire to inform everyone about them. Indeed I and most of the rest of the evening's audience were swept up in Mr Ogley's tornado of information (that's enough wind metaphors now, Ed.) He wouldn't win any modern prizes for delivery and use of interactive aids to reinforce his lecture, but I very much enjoyed hearing him. And the mince pies and mulled wine went down a treat as well....

Jane Austen and Tonbridge....

I had a whole load of people buy tickets from me for the Jane Austen talk which was taking place this afternoon at the parish church. An Australian lady who was in the shop this morning had come all the way from Brisbane, or was it Bromley, especially for the talk and walk in the rain. I know that on other occasions people have travelled from the States, Canada and other far flung places for similar events. So what's the connection with Jane Austen and Tonbridge then? What's all the fuss about? Well, aparently she did visit Tonbridge since quite a few family members lived in the area. I believe that her father had been a master at Tonbridge School and that other close family had owned property in the Bordyke region of Tonbridge. The infuriating and frustrating bit though is that there doesn't appear to be any hard, historical evidence to say that she definitely did visit the town only a supposition that she must have. If only something would turn up, like a note book to give us a piece of hard fact, then people would flock from all over the world constantly. Interesting talk though I'm sure it would have been. I certainly managed to sell a dozen of so Pride and Prejudice (a book whot she wrote!) Penguin mugs and a few books on the back of it. So long may Jane Austen's association with Tonbridge flourish....

High Street Christmas Lights Worst for 45 Years....

That's the headline in the Courier this weekend and I think it's disgusting. I thought that they looked the best they've been since I moved into the town 23 years or so ago. They reflect off the river and, from the bridge, in the early evening, with the castle in the background, they look quite delightful, stunning in fact, romantic even. So where the heck does the local paper get off talking about them in this way. Come off it you Courier journos, have a heart printing this utter garbage about our dear old town.  What, what's that you say? They're speaking of Tunbridge Wells High Street, not Tonbridge. Well, Lord have mercy, I'll let them off then and agree with them; their's do look a bit crap. Okay now why can't they do a feature on how great our Christmas lights look then?!.

Town Team says TLC needed....

Tonbridge Town Team Loyalty Card or TLC for short could be launching soon. I have only one criticism of this scheme today: I'm afraid that it's just never going to catch on if the picture on the front page of the Kent and Sussex Courier, Tonbridge edition, is anything to go by. Too big you see. It'll never fit in anyone's handbag, let alone pocket, wallet or purse. You need to work on a credit card sized version guys!
Okay that was just a joke but I'm sure I'll be getting letters about my comments in any case. My more constructive comments are reserved for a future post which might be in a few minutes or it might be tomorrow or next week, depends how busy my shop gets. Feel free to add your twopenneth in the meantime....

Mr. Books Christmas Window display....

My creative director and head of  Mr. Books window designs, aka Mrs. Books, has been a very busy bee over the weekend. It's meant to be a typical 1940s (or is it 50s) Christmas scene. Back in the days when books were still our main presents instead of a just stocking fillers. You know the sort of thing. Anyway hope you like the results and, even better, come along for a browse at the shop. Perhaps buy the odd Christmas present in the shop. If you're really pushed for time its just possible to pick up all you presents here. I'll be happy to offer advice to tailor to your friends and family's needs!

For those with a keen eye maybe you'd like to enter the Town Team's Odd One Out competition. The idea is that there's something in the window display which doesn't fit in with the theme. There's a card in the window of each participating shop and you have to compile the results and take them to Gateway at the Castle to pick up your prizes and entry forms. Something along those lines. In Mr. Books window there are actually two odd ones out. No not me that would just be ridiculous. I may be a bit odd but not odd enough to be the odd one out surely!

It's the weekend

What to look forward to this weekend. I say weekend because for me the weekend starts now and not, as for most non-retail workers, Friday.
Phase II of the Christmas window dressing at Mr. Books tomorrow.
Tonbridge Farmers Market I reckon should be on Sunday morning being the second Sunday of the month. I'll pick up some lovely bread, cheeses, real ale bottled beers and maybe some Christmas crafty gifts.
Probably go for a run as I'm in training again. Perhaps I need a goal. Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon in Feb should do it. 13 miles of cold gruelling hills. Okay it's probably not that bad but, hey, I was a sprinter at school not a distance runner. My sinews just aren't the right length/shape!
I've been really enjoying reading Simon Armitage's "Walking Home- Travels With a Troubadour on the Pennine Way" Not that surprising really as (a) I too walked the Pennine Way not so long ago, inexperienced and on my own and (b) I love Simon Armitage's edgey poetry. Some people say it's not poetry at all but, frankly, what does it matter what you call it. Anyway at the very least he's poetic and the book is bringing back some beautiful memories for me....

Aleister Crowley's love of cats!...

Just heard a disturbing story about an old boy of Tonbridge School. If you know who I'm talking about then you'll realise that just the mere mention of his name is disturbing enough. I'm  talking about the famous poet, mountaineer, drug addict and devil worshipper, Aleister Crowley, who attended the Big School in the late Victorian period. By all accounts he didn't fit in all that well. In fact that's putting it very mildly indeed and it's nearer the truth to say that he most likely hated every moment of his few years there. He vented his frustrations one day, so the story goes, by skinning the then Head Master's cat! (Well the school was founded by The Skinners Company after all!) Whether this is true or not seems unlikely ever to be verified but the boys of the school seem to relish believing in this macabre tale....

Christmas lights look stunning....

Yes and I almost forgot to mention the Christmas lights in Tonbridge. Thanks to the comment by 'Outraged' for reminding me. The lights do look absolutely lovely; they're not at all tacky as so many are but instead they're really rather tasteful. I love the ones along River Walk especially as they make great use of the riverside. From the town bridge at night they look quite stunning as they illuminate the river. So, a big well done to Tonbridge and Malling Council (one assumes) Look at me I'm doing it again, praising the council, being positive about the town. It didn't even hurt me as well! Photos to follow at some point....

Bags of Thanks....

Special thanks go to the ladies of The Gift Box, near the Big Bridge, for supplying me with the lovely antiquey-style bags which books bought at Mr. Books are gently dropped into. They look superb and so much more stylish than the old plain brown bags which I made do with when the shop first opened all those yeas ago. Elisa at the Gift Box orders these in for me purely out of camaraderie with a fellow trader and it is very much appreciated. I would insert a link to their web site here but I couldn't find it on Google. Go one better then and go along and have a look in the shop for yourselves (on the way to Mr. Books of course!)....

Town Team Gangs up on Tonbridge Blog!...

Blimey I wasn't expecting to be swiped in the face this morning by Susan Adams with whom I have had many a polite and friendly conversation with over the past few years that I've been in business. The only thing I can say to Susan is to ask her respectfully if she has actually read the piece that I posted a couple of weeks back on this blog? If she had she would have realised that, despite admittedly having a bit of a dig at the Town Team/Business Alliance the post is actually brimming over with some positive suggestions of how to put the £10,000 to use. If there are other comments attached to the post which she's taken exception to then that, I'm afraid, is what you call freedom of speech. It's why blogs and social networking sites have become so popular because they allow people to express their true feelings even if the price is sometimes a virtual smack in the face. So long as it stays the right side of legal and decent then it only serves to the good from where I'm standing. Susan suggests that I might learn that good business practice is not to "continually" moan on about the town. Well, again, if she actually reads the blog instead of just forming a general opinion of it then she would also see that the proportion of moaning articles to positive, entertaining and frivolous is actually quite small. In any case there's nothing wrong in moaning sometimes; it can have the effect of getting things done if, as my post was, backed with helpful suggestions. I'm still waiting to see a list of the Town Team's suggestions or are they still in a committee room somewhere discussing them?!..

Fame at Last!...

Well it looks like Mr. Books shop is famous at last. The story about the break in has not only appeared in he Kent and Sussex Courier now it's in the Daily Mail as well. For those of you well wishers who have commented here and on twitter that it's kind of done me a favour I say I'd still swap the publicity for not having had all the hassle of the last week. Sorting out glazers, secuity companies invoices, clearing up the crushed book related gifts, speaking to restorers about antique sliding book end repairs, endless conversations with my landlord and his maintenance men etc etc. Not to mention that paranoid feeling that this sort of episode brings on. I've spent much of this week in the shop thinking that every one who looks slightly scruffy (which includes most book collectors!) is about to come and rob me at gun point. So no I don't feel "lucky" as one customer suggested; I'd just rather it hadn't have happened and I'd just had a really normal non-eventful week. But since it did I may as well have something positive out of it and a little publicity never did no harm. Was it Oscar Wilde who said: There's only one thing in the world worse than being robbed and that's not being robbed?! Or something along those lines....
For those who feel sorry enough for me, and all those other local independent bookshops up and down the country,  you can always come in the shop and have a browse. If everyone in the borough of Tonbridge and Malling came and spent a fiver in Mr. Books I could retire next week! Feel free to make a donation by paypal by clicking on the button to the right if you can't make it along to he shop. I'll donate half of all the money raised to a victims of crime charity or a booksellers in need type charity....

Unbearable....

Tonbridge Ted in happier times

Tonbridge Ted is still not talking about the trauma he must have suffered when Mr. Books was broken into in the early hours of Sunday morning. The shock though is written all over his little furry face and the experience must have been truely unbearable for dear old Ted, now in his 61st year. To ease his pain we've decided to give Ted pride of place in the Christmas window display next to the tree so that he can forget his troubles and listen to some Frankie Vaughan or Bing Crosbie on the gramaphone. His silence is however stretching the patience of the detectives asigned to the case. The word on the street is that they think Ted might have been the inside bear and that he's been in on the blag right from the start. They've even secretly gone to the trouble of sending a special paw print forensics expert along to tie him in. Fit him up I say! Ted's mother, 93, from Kiev and now living in Mile End Road, London, commented: There ain't no way that my Ted would do anyfing like that. He's a good young bear who buys his mavver flowers and salmon and that. He'd never do noffin like that!" She growled. The police claimed that Ted's mother had helped them with their enquiries with several other similar crimes and that they found her cries of Ted's innocence unbearlieveable!!..

The other bears are keeping schtum

There's Been a Break in at Mr. Books....

This is the scene which awaited me when I arrived at the shop on Sunday morning. The police phoned in the middle of the night to say that "there's been some damage." A drunken man had broken the door window in and then trashed the place a bit and later had phoned the Police from my shop to turn himself in where he as then arrested. Here's the bit you may not believe. He told the Police at 4 am that he had broken into Mr. Books and was sat reading a copy of Fly Fishing by JR Hartley. I wish I was joking but it's absolutely true and the weird thing is that he actually was looking at that very book which I found next to the phone. Fact really can be stranger than fiction sometimes. It would be funny if it hadn't caused me two days of agro with police statements, insurance claims, clearing up the mess and organising glazers etc. The shop's bear, Tonbridge Ted, is still in shock and refusing to talk having silently witnessed the whole thing!... 

Red Bull wings clipped in Tonbridge.....

In response to popular demnd Mr. Booooks today announced tutal cannng of the uses of all "so-called" energy enhancing caffynne style druggy halucinagenic drinks in canns. (and maybe bottles that hasn't been decided yet.) Apporantlyly they mak u unuseable to concentrote throat n fuckus on certin tusks an should be stopped before a school child actually manages to stay awake thru an hole history lesson! From now until the beginning of time back dated, anyone discoveredly to be drinking or has drunk on or benear the shop will have the contents confiskate parked and stomachs will be pumped up. Skirt lengths will also be taken into consideration if rolled up too the ankles and/or shoes. The abuse of flavorred so-called "milk drinks" are also being poured over in time for New Year hogday celebrations.

Asked to comment on the situation Mr. Books commented on the situation by saying: "Actually I blame that Mark Webber racing Aussie fella. Why does he want wings anyway when he drives cars? and Vettel, they're all having it....and another thing history lessons are bunk aren't they and have you sin the price on kindles? they're available on the cell i mobile smart box you know...."

I should be sticking with me herbal tea from now on! Trouble is these drinks are almost addictive. Mine's a red bull n coke....

Right Here Right Now....

Here and Now. I'm sorry to be so negative but really what is the point of this glossy excuse for a magazine. It isn't that it's badly written or anything like that but rather that it is so typically local government. It tries to be all encompassing, to bring together the borough of Tonbridge and Malling with it's zillion or so towns and villages in a way which is, by necessity, so watered down that you end up just binning the thing in disgust. To make it relevant and informative the magazine would have to be as thick as a telephone directory to cover everything that went on across the district. Be honest though do the vast majority of Tonbridge folk give a rats arse about what goes on in Borough Green, or Kings Hill, East Malling or Snodland (is that even in the borough? I'm not entirely sure.) I did however want to find out when the Christmas lights were being switched on in Tonbridge but I could have done that via their web site. Sorry guys but time to call time on Here and Now right now before you waste any more of our taxes in the form of the community charge. It's glossy and therefore most probably expensive to produce and so editorially widely spread geographically as to be pointless. Put the information on the web site instead. That way you can regionalise the information so that readers only need to read the bits most relevant to them....

Quiet at the back Holmes!...

I hear that Dame Kelly Holmes put in an appearance at John Ray's talk last Friday night, at the parish church hall, all about WWII experiences (not her's obviously!) I very nearly went along myself because I know that John can be very thought provoking and above all entertaining. He has what so many lesser speakers lack. The right balance of information and humour and a real stage presence. The result is that his audience hang on his every word. Kelly had a special reason to go along as, so I'm told, Mr. Ray used to teach her at Hugh Christie back in the 1980s. There is no truth in the rumour that John was heard last Friday night shouting: Holmes stop chatting or I'll move you to the front of the class or that he threw a piece of chalk at her! I'm told she was looking particularly smartly turned out and lovely though

Come inside the shop for a virtual tour....

Remember I mentioned that I'd been Googled a few weeks ago. Well now the Google maps page which allows you to come inside Mr. Books and take a virtual tour of the shop is up and running. Roddy Paine Photograhic studios in Tunbridge Wells convinced me that this was a good idea just in time for the Christmas shopping rush. I'm warning you though they won't be satisfied until the whole of Tonbridge has been Google mapped! If you're thinking of spending the money I'd say it's worth every penny especially as I got it for nowt being an early guinea pig Certainly got to be worth looking into. Click on the link and have a play. Better still actually come into the shop and have a browse....

Post you comments about Tonbridge....

There, that ought to keep you going for a bit. But if you feel the urge to comment then do so below if you have anything to say about Tonbridge places and people, or anything to moan about, to shout about, to write home about. Get it off your chest, it's quite a good feeling actually....

Lazy Sundays and Mondays....

Saturday: worked all day, had a drink in the Slug and Lettuce (which some of you may well finding shocking in itself!) and had my brother and sister over for dinner. Very lovely to see them it was too and the food was to die for (well I have to say that but really it was.)

Sunday: didn't have much of a hang over after a long lie in so went to the farmers market to pick up some nice bits of food I didn't particularly need and bought a new Harris Tweed titfer which I'm told is called The Newsboy hat. My wife thinks I look a berk in it but I think it looks rather dashing. (Maybe a picture to follow then you can all vote on it!) Then on to the shop to sort out a few bits and bobs, process a few internet orders etc. Decided to have the shop open while I was at it for about three hours. (Turned into more of a semi work day but actually I like it anyway so not much wrong in that.)

Monday: (for this is usually still part of my weekend) got up around 9am, so a bit of a lie in again, cooked my son breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast. Did a few household chores, surfed on the internet a bit. Realised I was due to meet someone at my storage unit about a bit of business, so spent the next few hours sorting through books. Not much of a day off when I come to think about it. (Reflected in the evening that I realy do need to stop making excuses to myself and start running again.)

That was my weekend. How about yours. Hope it was at least as interesting as mine or, frankly, don't bother sharing it!...

Keep Singing Leopards (and breathing!)

So let's see. What did I do over the weekend? Well had a lovely afternoon on Friday attending Skinners Day at the Assembly Halls where my son was receiving not one but two prizes. Naturally we are very proud of him. When you first go to this day you could be forgiven for thinking that it's going to be a stuffy occasion as the Skinners Company governors parade on to the stage in their furs and regalia like I imagine a Grand Lodge meeting to be. (Not that I've ever been to one.) But very soon into the proceedings you quickly realise that this is a warm and friendy event and the procession is all really that's left of the tradional days gone by. By the end of the day you can feel the warmth and companionship which is the very heart and soul of this magnificent school. Even the way the school song is sung by the boys echoes both the tradition, the sense of belonging and also the fun. Anyone connected with the school will appreciate what I mean as the chorus of the school song, The Leopard Song, is roared out "Sing Leopards Sing...." and where probably a hundred years ago a long forgotten teacher has tried to teach them to pause by saying the word the boys, as one, shout "Beathe.." before the next line of the song. It fills me full of warmth every time I hear it. You see, underneath, I'm just a soppy old man....

The Rise and Fall and Rise of Tonbridge Blog....

Yes I know I've completely failed in my endeavour (NB. not promise!) to post at least 3 a week on this blog. I will keep trying but, frankly, I have gone off the boil a little what with twitter, facebook, moving into a new shop, inflation, house prices, worrying about the economy etc etc etc. It's also quite nice to occasionally have a bit of time to myself and the family. But fear not Tonbridge blog will rise again like that thingymabob from the ashes....

All the T's: Tonbridge Town Team, Town Day, Town Shop....

I see on page 14 of today's Courier the Tonbridge Town Team (or is it now called Business Alliance?) are looking for ways to blow er, I mean spend wisely the £10,000 they have been awarded by the council. I'm quite amazed that they don't already seem to have much of an idea of where or what to spend it on and are looking for suggestions from businesses and residents. Well here's a few of  mine: Give me and several other newish businesses half the money that those money grabbers at the council take as business rates! That way traditional businesses like mine will be given a lift and be more inclined to stay on for longer. I know that this suggestion wouldn't be entertained so here's another: Have a competition for a new start up retailer to be given a grant to help them get going. £10,000 would go a very long way for one deserving business owner I can tell you. Maybe it would be a family butcher, farm shop or whatever. Better still: the town team should get their heads together with the Tonbridge Civic Society and others to see whether a Town Shop could be set up selling local produce on a non-profit making basis from a town centre location. The Civic Society has a small army of willing people who, I feel  sure, would be prepared to roll up their sleeves and muck in as volunteers if it was for the good of the town. Use an empty shop of the right size and that would do much more for Tonbridge than a Town Day that has been suggested which frankly would just flush the 10k away. When it happens and thrives, just remember where you heard the idea first....

You know when you've been Googled!...

I had an approach the other day from a photography company called Roddy Paine of Tunbridge Wells who made me an offer I simply couldn't refuse. They wanted to come and Google me. Ooh er, sounds a bit cheeky! But it was a genuine offer. More precisely they wanted to come to Mr. Books and take photos of the inside and outside so that anyone who searches for the shop on the well known search engine can not only find out how to get to Mr. Books but they can also take a look at the street outside and then take a guided tour INSIDE the shop. "Wow" I thought to myself as they took photos around the place. I've seen how this works on other clients of there's and it is quite amazing. Normally this kind of service would set me back a few hundred quid but, since they wanted me to help them build up a portfolio of clients, and were offering to do it gratis, who was I to stand in their way?! You'll be able to see the results of Roddy Paine Studio's work in a week or so. I know you can't wait!...

No more Comet anymore....

I see that Comet is about to go into administration. That's another big name to fall of the many since this financial crisis began. Tonbridge High Street just won't look the same without Comet. Oh, hang on, wait a moment. There is no Comet on Tonbridge High Street and hasn't been since about 1990 (if indeed there ever was one.) In fact, come to think of it, there aren't any electrical retailers on Tonbridge High Street any more. No Curry's, no Dixons, no PC World, no Tandy (remember them?) nothing unless you count the mobile phone shops and Robert Dyas, who themselves nearly went under not that long ago. Soon there'll only be cafes, hairdressers, kebab shops and Mr. Books left!....

Tonbridge Cricket in 1919....

I love this old photo of the Whitefriars Press Cricket team for the 1919 Season. I'm not sure where they played, probably on the Sportsground park. I have no connection with any of the men. But I still love the picture which captures just a split second in time but speaks to us 93 years later. I wonder how many of these proud men had served in the First World War, how many of their friends and family had paid the ultimate price. People in old group photos are often serious looking as I suppose it's hard to hold a smile indefintely but I think this group of men had a special reason to feel this way after what they'd been through. I wonder what they were thinking at the precise moment that the shutter was released. Probably something like "Hurry up so we can get on with the game!" but maybe their thoughts were wandering to deeper matters. The young lads in the front row were probably too young to have served in the war but many of the men behind would have come through it, relieved, possibly angry, certainly changed for ever. Some of the faces look strangley familiar to me. Perhaps some of their grandsons and great grandsons have visited my shop at some point as their names, faces and spirits live on in their descendants. Mr. Authers (Hon. Sec.) was clearly not concentrating on the photographer as he seems to have been distracted at the crucial moment. I'm probably totally wrong on this but, I like to think, Mr. C D'Arcy (Umpire) was a right rogue, a smart-arsed joker who fancied himself with the ladies and wasn't put off by the many rebuttals! C. Boorman is, most probably, related to the Boorman family who are well known in Tonbridge. H.E. Simmons looks like someone straight out of The Great Gatsby and was probably the inspiration for Clark Gable's movie appearance! And Captain W. May looks like the serious sort who led by example and was, by the look of his lean lanky frame a good all rounder in the Frank Woolley mold. T Wickenden (Tommy) the young lad sitting at the front, was the grandfather of the old lady who brought in the photograph. Hard to imagine him as a grand father, great grandfather and probably great great grandfather but it's true. Not an ounce of fat on any of them which is probably a good advert for getting back to basic home made cooking and clean living. I really could study this picture for hours. I'll never know much about any of these men, least of all what they might have been thinking but it's great fun guessing. Please get in touch if you know any more about any of them and we'll try to build up a complete profile of the team....

The Autumn leaves....

Yep, Autumn has definitely arrived in Tonbridge. I found myself kicking through leaves down Springwell Road on my walk to work the other day. Beautiful in a way but, in another, quite depressing....

Book Towns....

I didn't see last week's Courier but there's a very nice letter in this weekend's issue pointing out that Tonbridge does indeed have a secondhand bookshop! The article, apparently, told readers that only two towns south of London, Lewes and Tunbridge Wells, had rare and secondhand bookshops. Oh contriare! points out Mr. Eaton in his letter today. Tonbridge does indeed have it's very own slice of Charing Cross Road in dear ol Mr. Books at 142 High Street. "You can even order new books from them," he goes on to say. So no need for anyone to go toddling off to the upstart daughter town when you can get most things right here in good old Tonbridge town. Thanks Mr. Eaton and that fiver will be waiting for you next time you're passing!...

Three Times a Week

I know that I've been somewhat neglecting TonbridgeBlog of late and that some fans of this site will be wondering what the 'eck's goin on. Well I have had a busy old summer what with the shop move and all and then the creative juices kind of take a back seat as your mind focusses on more practical stuff like do I need to buy new bookshelves and staitionery? So to make amends I'll try to post something, however small and insignificant, at least once a day. Alright then maybe that'll be pushing it a bit. We'll try for three times a week....

Shoulder ache....

Can't wait to get out on my canoe again. The nights are drawing in though so I'm leaving it mighty late if I want to complete the Medway Trail section from Yalding to Allington Lock, the other side of Maidstone.  I'll check the weather forecast for this Sunday and, if it's fine, I might just slip into Tallulah (the canoe) and paddle off to Teston. It's been a while though so I'll expect aching shoulders!....

London Town....

Went to London yesterday on a book and book care/repair materials buying spree. (And that's what I like to do on my day off!) Walked from Charing Cross to Baker Street, across to New Oxford Street, Covent Garden, up to Holborn and then back to Charing Cross via Covent Garden. Had a lovely pint in the Sun Tavern on Long Acre which is a place I used to frequent around 25 years ago when I worked around the corner in Drury Lane. The place has hardly changed in all those years. The price has gone up though. PB will perhaps not be too shocked if I say that it was £4.10 for a pint of Alfred Wainwright's Best Bitter. I told the barmaid that the last time I was in there a pint cost around 90 pence! Even so it was very welcome after all that walking. Very pleased with myself that I can still manage to walk around quite a wide sweep of London without a map or other navigational aid.....

Tonbridge Castle at Night....

Spooky that Tonbridge Castle at night isn't it? I often wonder as I quickly walk by after dark what horrors those old walls have witnessed. I'm almost certain the other night I heard the clanking chains from deep down in the dungeons of the gate house, a cry of pain and the cracking of bones and was that screaming from soldiers as boiling oil was poured over them? Surely not all of this was in my imagination! Neyaa ha ha haaa (evil laugh)

And speaking of baking cakes....

A special mention to the imaginatively named local catering company, Planet of the Cakes, whose James Bond themed cup cakes I picked up at a rained off boot fair a couple of Sundays ago. I think the guy said that they were left over from an event the night before. Anyway I picked up the whole box for a fiver and jolly tastey they were too. I particularly enjoyed munching into Jaws which seemed appropriate. But can you name all he other film references?...

P'd Off with the PO....

Masses of people are stopping in wonder at Mr. Books shop window which can't be a bad thing can it? One or two have even been in to say how lovely it is and how, in their opinion, it has "lifted the High Street." This is of course music to my ears. That said I'm having one of those days when nothing seems to go right. I've even had (another) bust up with one of the post office workers over having to wait nearly half an hour in the queue. If it was genuinely really busy in there then you could just about stomach it. But to wait that long when the reason seems to be that only 3 counters out of a possible 8 are open then that becomes totally unacceptable. There were 4 windows serving, which is bad enough, but at least 50%, then one just disappeared off to her break! I'm sure some of you will sympathize with them and say "Why shouldn't they take their break on time?" but in any other business, when it's that busy, you put more staff on the tills let alone take one off. The trouble is I can complain (and blog) until I'm blue in the face but what can you actually do about it? Take my business elsewhere? Oh that's right they have no competition and they've even closed most of the sub post offices down. I've probably said this before but when I first moved to Tonbridge there were no less than five sub PO's south of Tonbridge railway station alone. Now there are none because we were told that they are unprofitable and we don't need them. Well that's hard to take when the queue lengthen by the day at the central PO. They need to sort this mess out and quick. The only excuse they had was "We're trying out the new work rotas!" The lady at the desk actually said this to me as she continued to serve me with the false politeness she's perfected over the years to placate moaning customers such as me, smiling through gritted teeth when she probably felt like screaming at me that it wasn't her fault and that I should foxtrot off or something like that. Well I can tell the Post Office right now: your new work rotas ain't working! In short I'm P'd Off with the lot of em!...

If I'd known you were coming I'd have baked a cake!...

Lots of people looking in Mr. Books shop window at the moment. So what's all the fuss about? Well we started off with World Traveller, we've just finished with Summer of Sport and changed the display over to Baked a Cake. I say "we" but really it's all pretty much my creative director's work. (Otherwise known as the missus!) I did hold the screw driver and make the tea but she did the rest. Come and have a look at the result for yourself....

Tonbridge Half Marathon Latest....

I've just heard that the Tonbridge Half Marathon, taking place on Sunday September 23rd is booked to its capacity of 1,300 runners. That's amazing as the event is only in its second year and they've actually allocated 300 more places this year compared with last. Alas those Tonbridge Blog readers who will be turning out in droves to see Yours Truely will be disappointed this time round. My sweaty red face and jelly like legs will be otherwise engaged, probably sitting in my canoe or perhaps just doing a little gardening or going for a strole to the pub. You see since opening Mr. Books # 2 I just haven't had time to do any serious training so my target time of sub two hours and the chance to have a medal placed around my neck by Saint Kelly of Hildenborough will just have to be put on hold for another 12 months. As Arnie once said though: I'll be back!...

A date with Tallulah....

Well that's the end of another working week for me. It's all right for all you lucky people who don't work on Saturdays sat at home with your feet up watching the last day of the Paralympics or some footy, or maybe down the pub with a few close mates (assuming you have any!) No, for me Saturday is, more often than not, a working day. So I'll be on my way very shortly on my bike homewards ready to get up early(ish) Sunday morning to clean off my paddle to take Tallulah (that's me canoe) out for another paddle along the gentle flowing Medway. I'll be off to practice new strokes tomorrow such as the J Stroke and the Canadian stroke and, no this is not some seedy boating/sexual inuendo! And you thought paddling a canoe was a simple case of sticking it in, pulling and off you go! I'll tell you more about my date with Tallulah next week but in the meantime let's hear some more stories/gripes about life in Tonbridge. Tell the readers of this blog where the best shops and restaurants are; where the best pint is to be consumed that sort of thing. In fact pretty much anything you want to get off your chests....