Olympic Torch here on Tuesday....

The Olympic Torch is coming to Tonbridge on Tuesday. Well Hallelujah! Bit of an after thought but at least that wrong has been put right. It seems we have Dame Kelly to thank for this. A headache for the Leisure services team at the council to organise something in three days I'm sure but the rest of the town, not least the traders should all benefit....

Reasons to be Beerful: Part Two....

I was wondering yesterday evening who would come with me to the mini beer fest in TJ's Rugby club (replacing the cancelled one in the marquee) when in walked my son about 8-30 last night. In a flash it came to me. He's 18 now so about time he was introduced to the delights of a real pint. A quick spruce up, change of shirt and off we went down to the clubhouse walking, obviously, right across Tonbridge in search of hop heaven. Well I'm not sure we found it with our first two choices of Shere Drop, a best bitter by Surrey Hills Brewery, or the very flowery, but lovely, Foundry Man's Gold. We did get pretty close though with our last choice of Hopspur, described in the programme as 4.5% Premium Bitters- Amber ale, citrus fruit, chewy biscuit sticky sweetness. A right treat for your taste buds is how I'd descibe it. The mini festival continues today at the club with a further choice of beers available. Think I might just be stopping off there on my way home this evening!...

Stop Press on Beer Fest...

Unconfirmed reports are coming through that there is, after all, to be a beer festival of sorts. As Tonbridge Blog understands it the event is to be moved partially inside the rugby clubhouse. There won't be anything like the same number of beers on offer at any one time as that wouldn't be possible given the space and the time they've had to turn things round. It will be tonight and from lunchtime tomorrow (Sat.) A great shame that the main event isn't happening but at least something has been salvaged. Just hope that my Skrimshander ends up being one of the guest beers. Apologies to readers who really don't care whether or not the event goes ahead and that I've become obsessed with that coppery, chocolatey undernoted nectar, with a slight hint of sea salt, but it is quite delicious!...

Beer Fest Cancelled....

I'm afraid that I have some very bad news to tell the people of Tonbridge. An event that I've been looking forward to all summer has had to be cancelled due to the unseasonal, abominable weather we've been enduring. That's the latest news I have anyway. The torrential rain of the last few days had caused the organisers a real headache and, with much deliberation, they've had to cancel the SIBA Beer Festival which was to be held in a large marquee at the back of the rugby club. My taste buds were preparing themselves but now I'm going to have to make do with a couple of bottles at home or a pint down the P&J! I really feel for the organising team who must have put weeks of hard work into the festival but, with 18 inches of dirty water lapping around your feet it might well have put off a few visitors. Mind you, I'd have still gone even if I'd have had to swim half a mile to get there. Just for one sniff of that Hopdeamon Skrimshander! We'll just have to make up for it next year I guess. If they find a alternative venue which, I have to say, is looking extremely unlikely at this late stage, then of course Tonbridge Blog will try to bring the news to you. In the meantime there'll be lots of unhappy organisers and real ale lovers crying into their beer this weekend....

What's in a town name?...

This from the Place Names of Kent by Judith Glover:
Tonbridge (Pronunced Tunbridge)
Farmstead bridge: bridge beside a farmstead (OE tun brycg - Tonebridge 1086 - Tonebrigga c1100 - Tunbrigg 1206 - Tunbridge 1610)

There were also some odd looking accents over letters, presumeably to tell us how to pronounce parts of the name, but let's not complicate things. So you see there's further evidence that there's no point in worrying about whether Tonbridge should have a "u" or an "o" because the name has changed gradually and evolved over the years anyway. Maybe in another 400 years it'll be called something else like #townofbridgesonahill

Reasons to be Beerfull Part One....

Yes a whole year has gone by since TonbridgeBlog was last able to slur his way through telling you all about how he'd enjoyed the SIBA real ale beer festival and how it had changed my life (in terms of the beer I drink anyway.) Well it has you know because this Friday, Saturday and Sunday you can sample over 100 beers from all over the South East. If you intend to go along there, and I really think you should, then just remember to sample two fingers of a few first before committing to your choice of nectar which you can then raise up to see the full bodied copperyness and talk about the chocolatey over, or is it under, notes (and just generally pretend you know what you're going on about!) After a few halves of course your friends really won't be listening much anyway as they too will be caught up in hop heaven. You'll spend the rest of the evening telling them how much you love them (in a blokey, back slapping, macho, friendship kind of a way of course!) The event is in a large marquee at the back of Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club which normally only serves Larkins which, in itself, is worth the trip but with barrel upon barrel or other stuff makes it almost essential. Obviously this is an occasion to leave the car on the drive at home and don't even think about driving the next morning either. (Always drink responsibly folks. In this case that means don't join the the 10% abv club. Real ale fans will know what I'm talking about!) Let me know you favourites....

Tonbridge High Street in 1938....

One of my latest acquisitions in Mr. Books is a rare 1938 Kelly's Directory of Kent. If you don't know, Kelly's were the leading business directory of the time and for many years before and after. The sort of Yellow Pages of their time, only nicely bound and traditional looking. This acquisition got me thinking about businesses on the High Street. In particular I was intrigued to find out what 142 High Street, the address of my new shop was back then. So I started wading through the listings out of sheer curiosity. After about an hour of looking through every business listing I still didn't find out what was at 142 but, in the process I did start to build up a picture of some of the other businesses at the north end of Tonbridge High Street. In 1938 Brownes the tailors were at 132 High Street; then there was Mollie a milliner at 134; Catling Cafe, later Smiths at 136, Mac Fisheries at 138, obviously a fishmonger; 140 was, and still is Clarke and Coleman Chemist;  Curry's Ltd. cycle agents were at 146. Charles Baker the motor agents were at 150 and the White Horse pub at 162. Opposite was the Rose and Crown, as you'd expect since its a 17th Century coaching house; the Tonbridge Free Press Newspaper offices were at 129 High Street, right opposite Mr. Books. Mansfield a ladies hosiery at 141, Bronsdon tobacconists at 143 and still of that name now. There were grocers, shoe shops, auctioneers, solicitors and everything else you'd expect to find in a thriving little market town. A customer who said he used to live above what is now the Pepper Grinder sandwich bar swears that 142 was a toy shop in the late 1940s when he was a kid but was it in 1938 necessarily? Can anyone fill in the gaps?...

Hand Painted Signage....

On a more positive note about business in Tonbridge I feel rather excited about Mr. Books Bookshop at the moment. Normally I don't like to overtly promote my own little enterprise on this blog. (Well all right then just a little bit sometimes!) But when you have a brand spanking new shop front, which has been hand painted, and looks absolutely superb then maybe it's time to shout from the roof tops. Yes the borough council finally granted my listed building consent, as they told me they would probably do some ten weeks ago, so I didn't waste any time in getting it done. So here it is in all it's glory. My thanks to sign writer Steve Bronson, who I've known for over seven years now and he's always done a great job. Don't let him know that I'm singing his praises otherwise he might start putting his prices up! He doesn't just hand paint everything freehand, which is an art in itself, he also comes up with ideas along the way to make a greater visual impact. According to his web site he's been sign writing, man and boy, since 1987 and, for most of that time he's been self employed. So he must be doing something right. Apart from doing a great job he seems like a nice fella. Give him a try but don't blame TonbridgeBlog if all the paint peels off after a couple of weeks!...

Barriers to Business in Tonbridge. Part Two....

I said in the last posting that I wouldn't get started on the subject of business rates which is code in the blogging world for: That subject will probably be appearing on this blog very soon! So here goes. Probably the most often sighted reason for businesses failing is that of crippling business rates. I said in the last article that I'd speak from recent personal experience having moved my bookshop very recently to its new location. Let me tell you that experience has been a very steep learning curve for me indeed. When I was weighing up whether or not to take the plunge in moving from just off the High Street (Bank St.) to the more prominent position I'm in now, after rent, the most important consideration is that of business rates. In Bank Street I was enjoying 50% small business rate relief (SBR as the council calls it) and this rose to 100% relief due to a temporary government scheme which I still haven't fathomed although, obviously, I wasn't complaining.  I understand that this scheme finishes in 2013. When I enquired with Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council (TMBC as the council likes to call itself) a person, who I could name but that would be cruel, told me very adamantly that, in my new location, I would still get the 100% SBR that I been getting before. That is to say that I would pay a big fat zero business rates. I thought this was too good to be true so asked him to check it over not once but twice which he said he'd done. I'm not saying that I wouldn't have gone ahead anyway with the shop move but clearly it was a crucial part of my thinking when doing my business plans. So imagine my horror when, about a month in my new premises, I receive a Non Domestic Rates (Business rates to you and I) bill for nearly £2,500 for the year! "Bit of a difference between zero and £2,500" is what I screeched down the phone at another assistant in the council's rates department. She was pretty matter of fact about the whole thing, which only served to rile me even more, and just passed it off as a mistake by one of her colleagues who, in any case had now left the organisation. (Turns out even that wasn't quite correct.) All she was interested in was getting my bank details so that she could process my bill and get another moaning idiot off the phone (or at least that's how it felt.) I enquired later as to whether I could take this provision of mis-information up with anyone more senior to which she replied that there was no one around until the following week and, in any case, it wouldn't make any difference. She was probably right on that score but, not being one to be put off, I got the names and email addresses of al the senior people in that department and wrote to them to vent my spleen. Oh yes and I copied in the Chief Executive of TMBC also (that usually makes the pen pushers sit up and take notice!) In my later exchanges with another seniorish person, who seems to have been allocated this annoying idiot (me) I got other things off my chest like why do charity shops get 80% SBR when retailers like myself only get about 30%? Don't they want to encourage community shops as well? Surely, I told them,  TMBC must have some influence over the government directed policy of business rates and some disgression as regards the level of rate relief given. In the USA and other countries business rates, so I understand, are linked to the turnover of a business so that, as a business grows, the business rates would increase, therefore helping a business past the early stages and not, effectively, discouraging them from even giving it a go. This system to me seems like an infintely more acceptable method of charging for business rates instead of just a blanket charge for all. Unless of course Mary Portas is right. That councils are quite happy to let the High Street become waste lands, gettos of derelict buildings, boarded up shops and row upon row of charity shops each rubbing their hands after receiving their 80% rate relief....

Barriers to business in Tonbridge. Part One....

Anyway, enough of all that nicey nicey arts festival stuff and time for a good old moan. Today Tonbridge Blog asks: Am I living proof of what Mary, Queen of Shops, Portas has been banging on about? Remember she was the one who the Government took on to compile a report into British High Streets and concluded that there were far to many barriers to successfully launching and succeeding in setting up shops. In particular she sighted the demise of the traditional independent shops and the incessant rise of the charity shops. So how much is our dear own old council helping to encourage small businesses and retailers onto our increasingly desparate looking High Street? Having recently moved Mr. Books Bookshop from Bank Street to the High Street I feel quite well placed to examine some first hand evidence based on my own very recent experience. Now, on the whole, I'm a calm natured sort of bloke but it really does start to rile me when you find that you have to chase up the planning department of Tonbridge and Malling Council who, let's not forget, are supposed to be serving us and not the other way around, for listed building consent just to have your shop name painted over the shop window where it's supposed to go. Eight weeks they told me, which is poor to say the least in the current economic climate. Eight weeks it has know been and not a dickie bird out of them. There's no wonder the vast majority of businesses in the north end of the High Street simply ignore the need for such consent and just go ahead anyway. Eight weeks or more is totally unacceptable and goes against their claim to be pro-small independent retailers. It's just not on. Why can they not just send someone along to discuss your plans and give you the go ahead there and then if the application is a simple one? It beggars belief that you have to fill out ridiculously complicated forms, of which of course they want 3 copies of each, and becomes just another of the many hurdles to jump over when setting up a business. I'm sure that it's not the case but, it feels as though, the borough council are actively trying to put you off doing anything enterprising. And don't even get me started on Business rates....

Working the Door for The Three Degrees....

And speaking of the performance by The Three Degrees last Sunday evening at K College myself and another big fella (Alan) from the organising committee offered to be on the door for the evening. Actually I believe the phrase is "working the door." A little known fact about Tonbridge Blog is that I did used to be a doorman, okay let's call it what everyone used to call it, a bouncer. Back in my student days, in order to earn a bit of cash me and my mate Steve used to be "Security Men" on the door of Loughborough Student Union building. Because there was always a little tension between the students and the young people from the town (Townies as we used to call them) quite often, charged up by alot of lager, things would kick off, mostly the trouble was nipped in the bud but, just occasionally, there'd be a mass brawl which could be quite scarey and a little exciting too. So you see for me the Three Degrees concert was not only a very enjoyable performance but also like going back thirty years. In those days I took the job pretty seriously; you had to have your wits about you if there was trouble. So, last Sunday, although the body has slowed down a little, the old instincts I found were still very much intact! I found myself eyeing people up to size up whether they were likely to cause trouble. I looked people over, especially the blokes, to see whether they were likely to be packing, you know, tooled up. I greeted the band members at the door in a doorman-like fashion, directing sponsors, artists and public with a calm, confident and assured smile. Friendly yet no nonsense. Ready to respond if necessary. I was tempted to say to people "Sorry mate no trainers or jeans" but then I realised that they are now allowed these days, encouraged even. If I'm honest I don't know which I enjoyed more. The performances or being back working the door!...

The Three Degrees and Me!...

The Three Degrees, me and some of the Tonbridge arts Fest committee at K College theatre

Well come on it's not every day you get to meet some living legends! The Three Degrees were superb at the the K College Theatre last Sunday Evening as the finale of the Tonbridge Arts Festival. You still got it girls. Way to go!! Sorry I came over all American there for a second....

Tonbridge Arts Overdose!...



The unusually named but brilliant Sorrel Nation on vocals

 




A touch of glass!



Last week was, well and truely, a massive overdose of the arts in Tonbridge. I was closely involved in the whole festival; in my capacity of committee member I was involved in the planning of it over the last, well, year really. In my capacity as loud mouth I was involved in some of the events themselves such as the poetry evening and the literary day on the castle lawn. In my capacity of lover of the arts I went to see paintings, photography, drama, musical performances, pottery and craft demonstrations and much more. Like I said, I overdosed on the arts for a whole week and it was marvelous. Right up to the finale which was the Three Degrees playing K College. Yes that's right, you didn't miss hear me I said The Three Degrees, the actual ones, and not a tribute band, who were doing a rare UK performance at our very own K College theatre. Incredible I know! If you missed all this arts extravaganza I do feel slightly sorry for you, especially since much of it was free or at least cheap. Was it well enough publicized? Difficult one really. I thought it was, the rest of the committee thought it was. Were we all too close to it to really know the answer to that? Probably. Why have I started to ask myself questions and then give the answers? I can't say! But, having said all that, I'm sure we could have done more to promote the festival, it's just knowing where to stop and deciding what's reasonable. Certainly many people have said to me that they didn't know very much about it until it was upon them. That bit we have got to get right for next year's....



That old fashioned printing's hard work!



Great demo of wood turning at The Vision on Sunday at the castle

Poetry at the Rose & Crown last night....



Guest poet, Sarah Salway, in action



Lovely poem called memories

The Tonbridge Arts Festival is alive and kicking. Anyone who's ventured into the town centre over the last few days couldn't have failed to notice at least something. The Big Picture depicting an Olympic scene against the Castle Wall, the bunting and paintings along the riverside railings. Last night's Poetry night at the Rose & Crown proved at least one thing: that poetry, as an art form, is well and truely in fine fettle in Tonbridge. The organisers (and I was one of em) really didn't have much of a clue up to a day before as to whether there'd be ten people turning up or a hundred. The lack of football on the TV probably helped for, as it turned out, there was a sell out audience of around 70 people; all lovers of poetry in one way or another. The range of ages was encouraging, we even had a nine year old girl read out her winning poem from the under 16 competition, as were the varied styles of poetry. There wasn't quite any Scroobious Pip or any hip hop but the range was still pretty broad. The prizes for the poetry competition, which had been organise a few months ahead of the festival were awarded. Congrats to the winners and also everyone else who took part. If you missed out on this competition then keep an eye out for the next one as the prizes were hard cash of £500! Worth putting pen to paper for I'd say especially as it was free to enter. A fabulous evening and a real breath of fresh air. I can feel a regular Poetry at the R&C Night coming on. Watch this space! I'll leave you with the line I used in my introduction to the evening, which I actually paraphrased from the singer, Sting, who once, when accepting some prestigious music award, said that there was no need for any awards at all as: "Music is its own reward" So I'd like to say this to anyone who writes or appreciates poetry: Poetry is its own reward....



Guest poet Susan Wicks reads her powerful poetry



Flash Choir amongst the shopping trollies....

....and speaking of the arts festival in Tonbridge over the next ten days, customers in Waitrose the other day were given just a small taste of the many delights in store. If you are in any doubt of the power of the arts, in this case the "flash choir," to surprise, entertain and to catch you unawares and to take your breath away. Then watch this YouTube clip of them in action.... 

The BIG Picture....

The Tonbridge Arts Festival is under way wth a big bang, well, more accurately, with a Big Picture. Cycling in to work this morning, as I often do on a Saturday, I just couldn't miss the huge painting of Olympic runners the whole height of the Castle wall. On closer inspection you'll see that it is made up of small individual squares, each one painted by a school kid or member of an art group. It's a real community effort and completely encapsulates what the spirit of the festival is all about. It catches you unawares and takes your breath away even if just fleetingly.

Further along by the river there's Art on the Railings which brings a distinct flavour of Rive Gauche right to the heart of Tonbridge. The various artists will be exhibiting (and selling) their art over the weekend. If you don't really have time for such trivialities then really you are in too much of a rush and should slow down the pace a little. Spend ten minutes down by the river at some point over the weekend and I guarantee it'll make you feel better about life and more relaxed....

The Eve of the Arts Festival....

Tonbridge Arts Festival starts tomorrow. You may have seen the Big Picture being erected against the Castle wall by the river as the first clue that something special is about to happen. For me this has been a long time coming. Over a year in fact since the first meeting I attended about the 2012 event. And here we are on the eve of what is sure to be a fabulous ten days of arts overdose. Pick up a programme from various places including Mr. Books (naturally) the Angel Centre and libraries. There are loads of free events and quite a few cheapo ones like the poetry evening at the Rose and Crown hotel and The Word on the Castle lawn, as well as some spectacular events such as the actual Three Degrees performing at K College. Look at the festival web site and get yourselves out and about. It will be a right royal celebration of the arts in your own town....

Tonbridge Carnival Highlights....

I haven't looked at this film on YouTube yet but someone took the trouble to film the whole of the Tonbridge Carnival on Sunday. Anyone with the brass neck to call himself Trevor "Spielberg" Arnold deserves at least to be given a chance! So click here and don't blame TBlog if its no good....

Tonbridge Arts Festival starts next Friday the 15th....

There's a good write up in the centre spread of the Courier's ents guide this weekend all about the Tonbridge Arts Festival. Having worked on this as part of the main committee for over a year now I find it staggering that, with less than a week to go before the ten day event kicks off, hardly anyone seems to know about it. Everyone close to the festival knows how much effort has been put in however there's still a way to go before ticket sales will reach levels at which we can all sit back and pat ourselves on the backs. Despite what it says in the programme which many of you may have received by now, you can book many events online and not just at the Angel Centre. You can also phone the Angel Centre to block book tickets for most events. And yes you will be able to pay on the door for events as it's highly unlikely that many will be completely sold out. Better to book in advance of course but otherwise just turn up. There's a great selection of events to choose from and you can view them all on the festival website. You can even follow it on twitter if you're into that social networking malarkey. I know I am. I'm sure, as they say, it'll be alright on the night. PLEASE!!!!

Sunday in Tonbridge should be pretty exciting....

Tomorrow should be a nice day out for Tonbridge folk. I mean how often do you get the Tonbridge Farmers Market, the Mabledon boot fair, Tonbridge Carnival and fete all in one day? And as if that wasn't enough quite a few shops will be open for business including of course the new look Mr. Books at 142 High Street. So that's a working day for me then but a great day out for most other people. As Winston Churchill once probably never said though: "Find a job you love doing and you'll never work another day in your life!"

Mr. Books is completely round the bend....

Goodbye 2 Bank Street. Hello 142 High Street!

....and take a deep breath! Mr. Books has now moved around the corner to 142 High Street. That's it I'm completely out of the old shop in Bank Street and installed in the new one. It's open although there's still quite a bit of work to be done. The sack barrow is back in storage though and the month long sort out has been done. It proved to be a very worthwhile excercise sorting through over 12,000 books. The new shop window has proved to be very popular as passers by stop and marvel at the array of old trunks and suitcases, hats and typewriters, letters and post cards. What's all that about? Well it's the first of many window themes and this one's called World Traveller. So watch out for the others coming about once a month. I'd love to say that it was all my own work but have to confess that none of it was. All the credit has to go to my Creative Director, otherwise known as my wife. She calls it work but secretly we both know that she loves doing the displays! Anyway must go as there's much more to be done tweaking here, arranging there, sorting and aphabeticising (if that's a word) and other stuff. I had masses of help moving in over the past week or two from a few very kind customers and members of the Tonbridge Civic Society in particular (you know who you are) as wel as my family. You could say it's all been a bit of a community effort which can't be a bad thing. That help is very much appreciated if not always rewarded. I hope to be in business for at least the next ten years so please come in, have a browse, buy some older books, order brand new ones instead of using the dreaded Amazon and just come in for a read and a chat if you like. More later as things develop and time permits....

The Old Mr. Books disappears without a trace!

Mr. Books is going round the bend!

Yes Tonbridge blog has been quiet of late as some of you have picked up on. The reason for this is quite simple. You see I've been slowly going round the bend! I mean this of course quite literally. You see, in my other guise of Mr. Books I am moving from Bank Street where the shop has been for over seven years to the High Street. So I've had my work cut out what with moving about 12,000 books! It's hard graft but it'll be worth it. The new shop should be up and running by the end of May. Back to shifting books and bookcases for me and please feel free to talk among yourselves for a bit....

Tonbridge to Tunbridge Wells by leg power....

There's an entertaining article in the Courier today on pages 22-23 showing the results of five reporters on a pretend journey to work from the centre of Tonbridge to the clock tower in Tunbridge Wells town centre. I love this kind of reporting because it's interesting and useful but also has a crazy pointlessness to it which appeals to my mad sense of humour. Actually I think they probably adapted the idea from a Top Gear episode I saw a while back but lets not worry about that. Each of the five Courier reporters were designated a different mode of transport to travel the same journey. Train, running, bike, car and bus where the ones they plumped for. Now, on the face of it you'd think that the car would win hands down, but the results were perhaps quite surprising for some. Not really for me though since, being he idiotic guy I am, I've already tried most of these modes of transport to Tunbridge Wells. I once walked it just to see how long it would take so knew that it would take only about a hour and a half to get there that way even at a strolling pace. As a runner I know that a ten minute mile is a fairly comfortable pace so that would mean about half an hour to the destination. The time of day therefore was crucial since you can drive the distance, with a clear run, in around 12 minutes. Even allowing for getting parked you'd be there first no trouble. But that's with a clear run. Not much chance of that at 8-30 on a weekday morning! Then there's the cost of parking for the day to consider. The bus, I should have thought, whould have been a contender though although, it seems, reporter Shams can't read a timetable which cost her valuable minutes. The train, as anyone local knows, is a daft way to get to that end of Tunbridge Wells because you have to hike it for ten minutes at each end of the journey and wait around on the platform. So I'd have put my money on the bike getting there first since, unless Mo Farrah was doing that leg, it usually beats a runner. So it proved to be the case but only by 4 minutes ahead of the runner.
And there you have it, proof positive that you can get to Tunbridge Wells from Tonbridge quicker by bike or Shank's Pony, keep fit and save all that petrol/train or bus fare into the bargain! Hang on what about a motor scooter? (that's enough of that, Ed.)

Tonbridge Poetry continued....

Sitting eating pizza
Or some pasta dishes
By the river
Teaming with fishes
Or strolling in the park...
That's funny, cos my name is Mark!
We'll have a whale of a time
Juggling words about Tonbridge things
Till, by and by, they come to rhyme....

Come on enter your own efforts via the Tonbridge Arts Fest web site. Only spend a little more time on them than I did!...

Tonbridge Poetry at the Arts Festival...

...and on the subject of poetry there is still time to enter the Tonbridge Arts Festival Poetry Competition. The results of which will be announced (and hopefully performed) at an evening of poetry at the Rose and Crown as part of the festival on Wednesday 20th June. You can enter online via the festival website. The poems have to have something to do with Tonbridge, however tenuous. A bit like this blog really! They don't even have to rhyme....

Oh Tonbridge,
That Wonderful Town
Where I like to walk up and down
The High Street
Where it's really neat.
And walking hurts my feet.
Where the river overflows
and sometimes you can see a rainbow
Maybe a pot of gold
Or so I'm told etc. etc.

(Nothing like this one hopefully!

Squeezed middle....

If you' feeling George Osborne's pinch at the moment here's a few words of comfort for you which recently came to Tonbridge Blog's attention:

Tax his land, tax his bed,
Tax the table at which he's fed.
Tax his work, tax his pay,
He works for peanuts anyway!
Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his tobacco, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his car, tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.
Tax all he has then let him know,
That you won't be done until he has no dough.
When he whines then tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the earth in which he's laid.
When he's gone, do not relax,
It's time to apply the inheritance tax.


Now do you feel better?!..

The Stone is Definitely WET....

There's a lovely piece in the current issue of Private Eye magazine about the Government suing the Water companies for causing the current wet conditions by imposing the hosepipe ban! Although this is obviously a spoof article there does seem to be some truth in it. As Tonbridge, like other areas of the country, becomes at risk of flooding once again and we all walk around like wind swept drowned rats it's certainly not a comforting thought that we can't go home and water the lawn with the hosepipe even though there's no need to any more! I'm sure that Alanis Morrisette could have written a line in her famous song Ironic. Something like: It's a hosepipe ban when you're already drowned! That's how it feels; almost as though the wet weather has been deliberately caused. Of course we all know that this unseasonal autumnal spell will pass and spring will return. Don't we? Please make it so!...

Tonbridge Civic Society Design Awards Evening....

I went along to the Tonbridge Civic Society Design Awards last night at Somerhill House. After a very nice simple meal of chicken and veg followed by a lovely lemon tart, washed down with several very agreeable glasses of white wine, the suspense of knowing the winning design project wasn't that great. We'd all been told about it a couple of weeks ago in the society's news letter.  That said I was very pleasantly surprised by the vision, enthusiasm and planning that the Fernadez family had gone to in order to achieve their dream of developing their home, Monks Cottage. That's that quirky little house on the corner of the Ridgeway and Hadlow Road which I'd always thought was an old school house or something like that. I say little because I'd always thought of it as such when queuing up there usually to turn right onto the main road , but actually it's now about twice the size it was and quite a sizeable place.
Chairman Peter Charlton introduced the evening and welcomed us all, setting the scene. John Smalman-Smith, the new President of the Society, gave us a typically witty and eloquent short speech before presenting the winners with their certificates and plaques. Improvements to Charlton Terrace, that lovely row of houses running alongside Mill Cresent, got a special mention, while the topiary Yew tree elephant head/peacock sculpture, for want of a better description, in a garden on Hadlow Road, got an even bigger one. There's a work of art which must have caused some near misses over the years as passing drivers strain their necks to make sure they're not hallucinating!
The owner of Monks Cottage was then invited onto the stage to tell us all about his dream project. It seems that the couple fell in love with the place as soon as they laid eyes on it. I've always thought of it as a bit too strange looking for my conventional tastes but the Fernandezes clearly saw a lovely, unusual family home for the next ten of fifteen years. Quite simply, they have transformed the house into a beautiful and special home. Despite being about twice its original size they have managed make it appear very unimposing to the passer by. Great attention to detail was paid to not only the type and colour of the bricks but also the pattern that they were laid in so as to mock the original style within the constraints of modern building regulations. Mr. Fernandez treated us to slide show and talk which provided us with a lovely snapshot of the fulfillment of their dream home, the culmination of a seven year project. It dawned on me that, during the q and a session, nobody had mentioned anything about the cost of it all and probably quite rightly so on such an occasion, but I'd wager that every pound spent was effectively a pound invested because the final result looks so stunning and, crucially, sympathetic to the original features. So far from being a predictable awards ceremony it turned out to be a thoroughly enjoyable one. Maybe in other years when there might be more and larger scale buildings to chose from Monks Cottage wouldn't have got a look in. That would have been a shame because, in many ways, this development encapsulates why the Civic Society has been in existence for nearly fifty years. It is a nice social club. It also hosts some great speakers at the monthly Angel Centre talks. But above all else the TCS tries to ensure that building projects in the town are thoughtful, well planned and sympathetic to their surroundings. Just like Monks Cottage....

Tonbridge Olives....

I see that Antonia's restaurant is changing its name to The Olive Room. I'm not sure of the inside story there. I know that it was originally named after the owners wife and not Portugeese Antonio, the ex head chef, which was just a coincidence. He's moved on to the Portugeese restaurant in Hadlow incidentally. The new name for the restaurant sounds okay I suppose although, just one question, won't the menu be just a little limited, you know, what with only olives on it? Although, thinking about it, there are black ones, green ones, stuffed ones, spicey chilli ones, garlic ones. In fact hundreds of varieties of olives. There are probably thousands of recipes for olive based dishes. Then there are olive pizzas, pasta meals and salads. There's a magazine called Olive Magazine and even a shop in Tonbridge already called Olive's on the corner of Hectorage and Goldsmid Road although, curiously, they don't sell any olives. Oh hang on, that's her name Olive the lady who runs it!...

Arts Festival June 15 to 24th....

I went to the Tonbridge Arts Festival Committee meeting last week and, let me tell you, as we reach the final stages of planning the ten day event, I realise that you're all in for a right treat. Tickets are now being sold at the Angel Centre box office either in person or by phone on 01732 359966. Events include Comedy with Arthur Smith and friends, The Word, which is a sort of mini Hay on Wye day on the Castle Lawn, art and photography exhibitions, band nights, theatre, opera, flash dances and singing, school events and loads more. You really will be crazy to not get involved. Check out the festival web site for more....

Mary Portas Tonbridge Town Team bids....

Does anyone have any idea what's going on with the Tonbridge Town Team's Mary Portas bid? I did hear a rumour that we'd won the bid for the £100,000 that was up for grabs but I think someone had just got their wires crossed. The announcements will be very soon I reckon. So what chance do we have? Might not be as slim as some have suggested. Other towns in the North East for example will need way more funding than this amount so towns such as our own may well fit the bill. I've been asked if I'd consider joining the team if the bid is successful to help put their ideas into practice and, you know what, I may just do that. I've got a few suggestions of my own which might be taken up so let's hear yours. Sensible ones only please and remember £100k might sound a lot to you and I but, in strategic town planning terms, it's peanuts. I seem to remember the Town centre plan, commissioned by TMBC some years ago (before the credit crunch I might add) cost about that sum of money....

No more Anonymouses please....

There've been fewer comments of late probably due to the new design, lack of postings on T Blog's part and, moreover, my having adapted the comments admin. settings so that there can be no more anonymous comments. That said you can still comment anonymously by setting up a "handle" or account name which no one need know is you. It's really rather simple and means that there'll be no more posts with masses of comments whose identity is simply "anonymous." Hope that's all clear and fair. If you don't like it you can always comment below using your newly inspired comment id. But not anonymously,

Thanks again
Anon.

Tonbridge Lidl shoppers beware: Big Brother is watching your car....

I hear that the carpark at the back of Lidl on Quarry Hill Parade has been catching out a few shoppers of late. Be warned shoppers of that low budget supermarket. It may look to be free parking but, read the small print, you only have an hour and a half. Ten minutes over and the Big Brother-style cameras will snap you and there'll be no getting out of a minimum £45 fine which increases to £90 if you don't pay up on time. So next time you're at Lidl and get carried away buying all those German sounding chocolates and 24 packs of brands of lager no one's heard of keep an eye on your watch. Better still there's always Sainsbury's or Waitrose where you may have to pay to park but you do get a refund at the check out. It seems that the council and the owners of these car parks are doing their level best to drive trade away from Tonbridge sometimes....

Another new look Tonbridge Blog!...

It's alright everyone. Tonbridge blog is just having a bit of an identity crisis which accounts for the second  new layout in a fortnight. Just tinkering around with it a little until everyone is happy. Actually we all know that that will never happen. So long as most readers are happy then that's the best one can hope for! In the meantime Happy Easter. Comments welcome....

Bradshaw's Tunbridge....

You've no doubt all heard Michael Portillo go on about the railways in Victorian times and what George Bradshaw's handy little book had to say about all the many stops on his journey. So what does the guide have to say about our dear old Tonbridge? Well don't get too excited as our town is, more or less, described as a stop off before the far more salubrious town of Tunbridge Wells a few miles down the track. Here's what he said:

Tunbridge (spelt with a U in 1866 of course)
Population, 5,919
A telegraph station
Market Day- Alternate Tuesdays
Fair- October 11th

Situated on the Tun and four branches of the Medway, all crossed by bridges. It is noted for its excellent Grammar School with sixteen exhibitions. The castle, of which a fine noble gateway flanked by round towers still remains, was built by Richard Fitz Gilbert, Earl of Clare and Hertford, who likewise founded a priory here for Augustine Canons, the refectory of which may still be seen. Open on Saturdays from 10 till 4, by permission of the proprietor. This, besides being the branch station for passengers to Tunbridge Wells, has a convenient refreshment room appended.

Streetwise mag update....

Just read the latest copy of Streetwise from cover to cover and it's now in the bin....

Latest Streetwise magazine...

Anyone seen the latest copy of Streetwise the free magazine? I just received my copy through my letterbox...

Snippets of Tonbridge History....

Susan Adams of Susan Adams Business Services has very kindly just handed me a rather interesting piece of paper. On it, laid out very artistically, there are tantalizing snippets of Tonbridge's history such as 1920s: Motorised taxis replace horse-drawn cabs outside Tonbridge Station! ...and 1070: The Normans build a small church on the present site of the parish church. ...and 1870 until the 1900s a horse racing track operates in what is now the sportsground park. It's a lovely piece of artwork combined with a bit of local history. Come and have a look at it at Mr. Books or I'm sure Susan Adams will have some spares for you to have framed. I can't promise that they'll be free though!...

Tonbridge Blog gets a facelift...

Hope you all like the new look Tonbridge Blog. Very Spring-like I thought. Comments please....

The Stone is dry...

And speaking of weather forecasts....I loved this when I saw it while on holiday last summer in Cornwall. We do get a little hung up about the weather sometimes in England and I much prefer this laid back approach....

Has Spring sprung?...

The sun is shining, the dafodils are in full bloom, even the bluebells are beginning to make an appearance. The lambs are leaping around in the fields. So is it too early to start getting your summer wardrobe sorted out and dreaming of long hazy days on the beach? Yesterday I saw some guy pushing a push chair down Tonbridge High Street wearing just his muscles and tattoes which looked a bit weird considering it's not even April yet. Make the most of it as it'll probably be raining and hailing next week. Certainly the weather is due to turn cooler. I'm off down B&Q to stock up on barbeque briquettes....

Tonbridge Blogger Wars!...

I really am quite shocked and a little disurbed that a few of you seem to have taken the previous post seriously. I do actually know "that blonde lady" Suzannah, fairly well and hope that she sees the funny side of this. I'm 99.9% sure that she will otherwise I just wouldn't have posted it. If anything it was meant to mock myself and pretend that I'm jealous (playing on our insecurities!) But, if there's any doubt then I should set the record straight: I am not in the least bit sexist. Having four elder sisters wouldn't allow it; if I were I'd be mince meat by now! I'm not in the least bit jealous of the author of the Tonbridge Daily blog in fact I've known her quite a few years from poetry nights and as a customer in my shop and, hopefully by now, after many pleasant chats I would go as far to say that she is a friend. She writes a lovely column in the Courier and, unlike me, she does it on a voluntary basis whereas I got paid. Not much but I did get something. Her blog is nice as well and so different to mine so that, actually, they probably complement each other. This is not, some of you may be disappointed to hear, the start of Tonbridge Blogger Wars! There, is that apology enough? Can we all move on now?...

Grrr, That blonde lady from Tonbridge Daily!!!!

In which town will you find this?

For the past four or five years Tonbridge Blog has been steadily providing you with daily information, entertainment and general rantings almost always with a Tonbridge focus. I do it unpaid, largely unthanked and out of the goodness of my own heart. So imagine my horror at seeing the face of that blond lady, Suzannah Niklaus staring smugly at me from the page when I opened up this weekend's Courier newspaper! They've only gone and given her nicey, nicey Tonbridge Daily blog a half page feature. Blumin cheek I say. There she is looking all over enthusiastic, with her historical snippets about the tops of buildings and daily observations about the town. She struts around with her Nikon SLR taking abstract photos, at weird angles of obscure bits of buildings, as if she's Mrs. Tonbridge or something. What's she got that Tonbridge Blog hasn't?! What about doing the same for Tonbridge Blog Mr. Frankham. Whenever I get the odd mention in the Courier the name of the blog, miraculously, is not to be seen anywhere. Not so much as a bit of a small print tacked on the end of the piece. I promise you my little efforts really aren't a threat to the might of Northcliffe Newspapers, owners of the Daily Mail and other national rags. By the way Suzannah also writes the Tonbridge Community column for the Courier, which I wrote before her. Is there a pattern developing here? Will her next move be to open a bookshop? Perhaps if I were slimmer better looking, female and blonde I'd also get to appear on page 3 of the local paper!...

Tonbridge High Street more spacious without railings....

I've had a week or two to live with it now and I think I prefer the openess of the roads in the centre of Tonbridge that getting rid of the railings has given them. It feels different especially for pedestrians and cyclists (being both I think I can speak for them!) and I can't say you even notice the difference when driving along the High Street. You get an overall feeling of everything being a little cleaner and more spacious. And the bonus is that the council must have made a good turn on all that scrap metal! Only thing is where are they going to hang all the flower baskets in the summer?!

Tonbridge man fell from 18,000 feet....

A very spritely 88 year old man came into my shop to order a book the other day. It was a book about airmen in the Second World War so, quite understandably, we got talking about the war. This old man wasn't boasting when he told me his experience in 1944 when he was aged 20, in fact I had to gently persaude him to tell me. He was shot down over Germany. The pilot and co pilot were both killed sitting right next to him by the canon fire which had disabled the aircraft so he told me. Then he said he couldn't remember the next few moments as he thinks there was an explosion of some kind on the plane. The next thing he remembers is coming round from his unconscious state and realising that he had fallen half way down from 18,000 feet! He pulled his ripcord, spent the next year in a POW camp and most of the next 50 as an upholsterer in Tonbridge. I won't name him but what a remarkable story. To have lived the last nearly 70 years having been that close to certain death must be an amazing feeling. I salute those men who still walk among us having had these incredible experiences so early in their adult lives. I also can't help feeling more than a little envious of that level of exitement which so many old war vets have spoken of. But, of course, they are just the lucky ones who survived....

Dismantled railings for cash?!..

My chirpy window cleaner Darrell, has just raised an interesting point. What happened to all those council railings which have just been, in some cases wrongly, dismantled? Did they go to some dodgy scrap yard specialising in metal for cash? Or are they being recycled in a more responsible manner and the funds put back into council coffers? They'd probably raise a tidy sum, there's alot of metal in those things. Will we ever find out? I said get back to cleaning the windows mate cos you keep missing bits!...

Tonbridge Mary Portas Bid....

I received a letter today from someone at Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council telling me all about Tonbridge Town Team's proposed bid for the government grants of £100,000 for deserving High Streets which, you will remember that this is part of the Mary Portas review of our (not so) great British high streets. In true council fashion the specially set up email for expressions of support failed to work and therefore my emailed response bounced back to me! So I though it a good idea to share it with you. This is what I wanted to say:

 

"Hello and thanks for the opportunity to express my support for this bid. Your letter was music to my ears. You may have noticed in my locally focussed blog, Tonbridge Blog, that I've been banging on about how our town should be better used for some years now. With my shop, Mr. Books, I am fortunate enough to be able to read old books about the town. One thing that comes out loud and clear from some of these books is how markets were right in the very heart of Tonbridge, how these market days were long standing traditions, going back to medieval times. In those old days there was definitely more of a community spirit about the place as businesses, retailers and shoppers all fed off each other. I'm sure that, with the right focus and drive, some of this spirit could be recaptured. I whole heartedly support this initiative and anything that help smarten up the High Street and improve footfall can only be a positive thing for everyone,"

 

Best of Luck and regards

 

Share your own thoughts by commenting below and they may be noticed and included in the bid proposal....

Bionic Man....

I'm reading an excellent book at the moment called The Runner's Body. It's the result of research by two top sports scientists called Ross Tucker and Jonathan Dugas who are often quoted in the quality national press. As some of you may know, distance running has become a little craze of mine over the last year so the book is particularly relevant to me. Here's an interesting observation from reading this book. It turns out that my worry about the effect of the stress on my ageing body is largely unfounded as it seems that, so long as I'm patient and build up slowly, not only do I get fitter and ache less the more effort I put in but also my body is strengthening all the while. It's adapting gradually with every training session and recovery period to become a runners body. It rebuilds itself and changes for the task of running. Bones become stronger and more resistant to impact and muscles become bigger, leaner and better for the work and the impact forces being put upon them. Now even if you're not into running you still have to admit that all of this is quite remarkable. It's hard to imagine that we'll ever be able to design any bionic man or woman, with all out space age technology, even nearly as good as nature provides us with. Quite phenomenal in fact....

Arts Festival web site goes live....

At long last the Arts Festival web site is now live so you can have a look to see which events you want to plan to see during the festival this June from the 15th to 24th. Victoria Hislop, Athur Smith, Opera Brava, Victoria Pile, The Three Degrees (yes the real Three Degrees) a special literary event called The Word on the Castle lawn, are just a few of the highlighs of the ten day festival. Have a look for yourself right now....

Saturdays in Tonbridge....

This morning I could have gone to the market in the railway carpark for some fruit and veg or spices, I could have sat with a friend for coffee in Finch House or any of the other cafes in the High Street. I could have gone for a naughty but satisfying fry up at that little cafe down Avebury Avenue or wandered across the wide open spaces of the park or taken a stroll along the river near the Town Lock. I didn't do any of those things this morning but you still could....