Fridays in Tonbridge...

I didn't go to the Friday Flea Market at the Angel Centre today. Neither did I go to the Country Market down Lamberts Yard today to buy some lovely homemade sausage rolls, quiche and almond sponge tarts. But you still could if you're quick....

I'm Board....

The A Board issue has raised it's ugly head once more. For those readers who are turned off by this ongoing saga in Tonbridge then look away now. I've just had a visit from a young man from the Highways Department of KCC. He had a long pony tail and tatoos and looked like he'd have been more at home being a roadie for Guns and Roses but that's by the by. This department are responsible for the roads, which includes, the pavements not, as you may reasonably expect, Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council. And maybe because the Highways Department are so detached from the town and the needs of businesses and shops they can afford to be high handed in this matter. It seems that the problem has been raised in the town and now they are clamping down. Apparently it's okay to have an A Board right outside a shop to say "Look here's my shop!" even  though it is right there in front of one. But it's not okay to say "Go a few yards this way and my shop is here!" because to do so would be against their bureacratic, inflexible rules. So, in effect, you have the ludicrous situation whereby its all right to have one if you don't need one; but it's not alright to have an A Board if you do need one! I've already got my "A-Board Aware Scheme" sticker to put in my window but this isn't enough. They probably won't be happy until they've closed retailers and businesses slightly off the beaten track down altogether. The A Board for Mr. Books has been on the wide stretch of pavement on the apex of Bank Street and the High St. for nigh on 7 years now and not once in that time has anyone complained, fallen over it or been offended by it as far as I know. Meanwhile the, arguably unnecessary, boards on the narrow stretches of pavement up and down Tonbridge High Street continue to trip people up and the poor, half-brain dead by now, guy holding a "Hand Car Wash" sign outside the library continues to be allowed! Look at any old photo of Tonbridge High Street and the first thing you'll notice are the boards advertising various products and businesses in the town. I'd go as far as to say that they add a touch of character and are part of the rich fabric of the life of the town. So just lay off will you KCC Highways before there's no shops left at all. Rant over....

Tonbridge Farmers Market this Sunday....

Kathy Foster Smith makes wonderful marmalades and pickles. I know this because she's given me freebies recently. In fact other people know it as well as Kathy won an international award for her efforts in a competition organised by the Guardian newspaper. You can see her stall, Great Preservations (love the name,) and about 60 other stalls selling local produce at the Tonbridge Farmers Market this Sunday and every second Sunday of the month. I'll be down there bright and breezy to pick up some bread, beers, pickles, Olive Oil, home made fudge, fruit, cheeses and lots more. Can hardly wait. If you've never been to the market and you want to support local businesses and producers I promise you you won't be disappointed. Organiser, Steve the Chilli Man, who also has a stall there himself selling, yes you guessed it, everything chillified, has worked very hard to establish the fair in such a short time to make it easily the best in the wider area....

Arfur Smith at the Tonbridge Arts Fest....

Tonbridgeite Arthur Smith, famed for his Grumpy Old Man appearances, is one of the patrons of the Tonbridge Arts Festival in June this year. He'll be hosting a night of comedy during the festival week. I've always been a bit of a fan of Arfur's particular brand of no nonsense, observational, edgey, slightly anarchic comedy so I'm looking forward to it. In the meantime I've just discovered him on twitter so here are some recent snippets, I should say tweets, from the site. Apparently I can just publish anything from twitter because it's already in the public domain so there. Keep those lawyers at bay.

I have woken to find I am a daffodil on the outskirts of Hebden Bridge

I passed a shop called "snog" today, outside which a young woman offered 'free samples' Can this be right? I was too gallant to ask for one

My iconic new Spring collection features on the Paris catwalk tomorrow - ultimate vintage charity shop retro grunge for the 21st century

Wanting a different Saturday night? I have donned a wet suit and am going swimming through the sewers of London. Meet beneath Balham tube

Women, I believe, divide into 2 types - those who like squeezing men's spots and those who find the idea disgusting

#myoldgags Years ago I won Young Scientist of the Year....he was a nice lad, kept him int the attic with his test tubes..

On Feb 29th he tweeted with self delusion: Jesus. Only been up an hour and already 14 women have proposed to me. Said yes to 9 of them.

I have woken to find I am an elderly baboon in Botswana

My God what are the Arts Festival letting themselves in for?! Follow him on twitter yourselves @arfursmith

A Night at The Wells....

Had a cultural evening out on Saturday at the Trinity Arts Theatre over in Tunbridge Wells enjoying seeing a performance of The Woman in White. The main reason for the visit was to see a friend play Sir Percival Glyde. And what a dastardly, evil, scheming dispicable coward of a man he turned out to be topped only by his friend and accomplice, the manipulative Count Fosco . I'm sure Mark, my actor friend (actually I feel I should now distance myself from him and describe him more accurately as my wife's friend!) is nothing like the character he portrayed. The performance was obviously a triumph though, if I'm totally honest, the play wasn't really my cup of tea as I don't really go in for period melodramas such as this. That said you have to recognise the genius of Wilkie Collins for writing this genre and, to use a more modern phrase, making it his own. I enjoyed a nice evening out but, in truth, enjoyed he pint of Larkins at the interval almost as much as the play. Does that make me a philistine?...

Speedy GoneHagos....

Well I've made it into the pages of the Kent and Sussex Courier once again. In the special pull-out about the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon last Sunday there's my name in (very) small print on page 8 of the special supplement. In 1845th place and with a time of 2 hrs 17 minutes and 25 seconds my achievement has been immortalised! Now before you go making snide remarks about your tortoise could do it quicker, or Brian the snail could have slid it faster, I managed to shave twenty minutes off my Tonbridge Half time. So at this rate of improvement I'll be beating the world record by about 2015! Even the winner, Mr. Yared Hagos, is unlikely to be able to say that is he! Mind you he did manage a course record of 64 minutes 15 seconds. My gosh that's quick and I really don't know how anyone can run that fast for that long. It's unlikely that most people could have biked it as fast let alone ran it.... 

Tonbridge Beers....

Great to see that Paul Bournazian of Tonrbidge Brewery seems to be doing so well. There's a piece in the Courier today about him. It just shows you that there is life after working for big corporations. Paul brews in his garage in Tudeley and, only two years on, supplies around 30 pubs. I've said it before and I'll say it again: that Coppernob in the Punch and Judy is easily the best pint in Tonbridge, in TonbridgeBlog's humble opinion. The Auburn Myth weren't half bad either. Just one issue though Paul: why no bottled versions yet? Come on then I'd be able to drink it every week at home as well. Just writing about it is getting my beer taste buds going. I can almost feel those hops and aromatic flavours dancing on my tongue!....

Good on you Dame Kelly....

Just listened to Dame Kelly Holmes talking about how winning two gold medals at the Olympic Games 8 years ago changed her life for ever. I've met Kelly a couple of times briefly, once outside Sainsbury's with her mum well before she was properly famous. Being an athletics fan I knew who she was and had a great deal of respect for her dedication to the sport even then. I said hello and I think there was a little bit of surprise on her part that I even knew who she was. She seemed so ordinary and I think tehn she was just a talented young woman from Tonbridge at the time; and there's nothing wrong in that. But then at the Athens Games things changed dramatically and for good. Kelly unexpectedly won the 800 metres final first and then, with massive knew found belief and confidence, went on to win the 1500 to make it the now famous double gold. It really is worth re-living by watching the YouTube clips if you want to be reminded just how shocked Kelly herself was at winning the first medal. It still brings a tear to the eye even eight years on. The second time I met Kelly was only last Sunday when I found myself standing right next to her after my own earth shattering 2 hrs 14 mins Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon! I didn't notice her at first but, when I did, I introduced myself as a twitter follower and told her about my bookshop in the town. Perhaps she's now used to strangers starting up conversations with her but she came across as being genuinely pleased to talk to me fro a few brief moments before she went up to present the prizes. The radiant smile always helps but I get the impression that she is just a warm, friendly person and she doesn't have to try that hard. I caught last night's Radio 5 show on the BBC radio replay service remembering that she'd tweeted about it last night. It's worth hearing what she has to say if you have a spare moment. (Click on the 2100 show and then fast forward to just over the hour mark and that's about when they introduce the subject.) Once again I was taken aback by her ordinaryness and I mean that in about the nicest way I can think of. She came across as completely honest, completely modest given her awesome success and still more than a little surprised how popular and in demand she's become. Eight years ago, she lived with her mum in Hildenborough in a very ordinary house so I'm told. Now she lives in, as she put it, "a pretty nice house" she drives a pretty nice car as well because I saw it on Sunday. But they are just things, just tokens of success. What Kelly seems to have in abundance is natural warmth, natural talent, and incredible modesty and you can't put a price on that. It's fabulous that she supports so many good causes and especially locally. You can't blame her for capitalising on her own success for personal financial gain but no one has to set up their own charitable trust and no one has to go back to their old schools and spend the afternoons with the kids on the soprts field as I know Kelly has in the past. She's an inspiration to a generation of young kids in the area and a real example of how life can bring success against the odds. I don't know alot about The D K H Legacy Trust other than it aims to bring on children from humble backgrounds and work on their potential to become elite atheletes. One thing I am sure of though is that with Kelly behind it it's pretty certain to do good things. So I'm very happy to give it a big plug....

What HAS happened to the Tonbridge Insider????

Okay what has happened to The Tonbridge Insider Magazine? I get asked this question at least five times every day. Let me start by saying that, although I write for the publication (or did at least) I don't own it, or have shares in it. My only link to it is that I write on a freelance basis for it. But it is something of a mystery as to what's going on. The new owners, Leafleteers Ltd. who used to distribute The Insider for the old owners and then took it over, have only published one issue. I was flattered enough to be asked by John Dickerson, who owns Leefleteers, to continue writing for the publication. My column was featured in their first issue (December 2011) and then I wrote a further two columns in order to meet the Jan and Feb 2012 issue deadlines. The February issue didn't appear and then neither did March. Of course, by this time, my suspicions had been aroused and I didn't write any more. Needless to say I haven't been paid for those, approximately, 30 hours of work. I am bothered about that but I'm alot more bothered about the apparent loss of what used to be a half decent magazine. I did once consider putting in an offer to buy it myself because I think the town of Tonbridge needs a voice, especially after the Courier left the town a couple of years ago. That was the first time in about 140 years that Tonbridge didn't have a dedicated newspaper office. So I say publicly to John Dickerson, who took over the Tonbridge Insider declaring a relaunch and a new start for the magazine, even if your business is in dire straits: tell us all what's going on, don't keep all those readers in the dark. You owe us and me at least that much....

Are Tonbridge Bloggers Opinion Formers?...

For those of you who've asked the audience of TonbridgeBlog, according to Google blooger figures, is a fairly steady 7 to 9,000 most months and sometimes jumping as high as 13,000. It's not quite Facebook or YouTube but it ain't bad for a local blog with very few funds behind it written, on the whole, by one ever so slightly quirky fella. That audience, I know from previous experience, will be a highly sought after, fairly afluent one. If I had my ad sales hat on I'd say that it was probably in the main an ABC1 highly targetted, Tonbridge centric audience, with a tendency to buy locally. Mostly they're probably either older people with high disposable incomes or else middle income earners, feeling a little squeezed at the moment due to government austerity measures but still with high potential spending power. And yes there are, most likely, many local "opinion formers" among them. The more a think about it the Tonbridge Blog audience is quite an attractive, distinguished one in all probability. That said I won't be going out on the streets with a questionaire on a clip board doing awareness studies!...

Should TonbridgeBlog charge for ads?...

I few people have reacted rather negatively to the idea of TonbridgeBlog charging for putting links in the Useful Links and Blogs column on the left of this page. Let me reassure those social clubs and organisations on there already that they won't suddenly get a bill for twenty quid a month. No, not at all. But there have been many commercial organisations over the past few years who have wanted a link on here and a few have been prepared to stump that sort of dosh for it. After all what's wrong with it? The issue is whether the integrity of the editorial content is maintained and, since I'm mostly in control of that, I would ensure that it is. Let's face it most successful magazines, newspapers, TV stations and, for that matter, web sites simply wouldn't survive in the long term without having an income of some kind. Granted TonbridgeBlog was not set up as a commercial site, and some say that that is the essence of it, but the balance will be kept right have no fear. The google ads which have been on the site for about two years now caused a similar stir when they first went up but nowadays no one complains.You might even say they compliment the look of the blog. There will be a few companies and organisations who will benefit from the highly targetted, locally focussed audience which TonbridgeBlog offers but the rest of you just won't even notice them doing it....

Tonbridge Blog Working for Tonbridge Businesses....

Sorry to go all commercial on you but this is a bit of an opportunity for some. You can now pay for your links in the left column of Tonbridge Blog by Paypal simply by clicking on the button above the Useful Links and Blogs Heading. This will take you through to a screen where you'll be asked to pay a monthly subscription and will ensure that your company or club link will always be there. Having this link will obviously allow people of Tonbridge and visitors to TBlog, and there are literally hundreds every day, to go straight through to your own site. With the absence of any local magazine (Yeah, what has happened to that Tonbridge Insider Magazine?) as things stand this could be a very useful and low cost business tool. Give it a try for 12 months and watch how it makes a difference to your organisation. There have been quite a few local businesses keen to try it without being prompted so I've decided to make it easier to subscribe. There now was that commercial enough?!..

 

Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon winner....

One thing worth pointing out about the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon is that, probably due to its generous sponsorship and the toughness of the hills, it attracts some top athletes. The winner, Ethiopian Yared Hailesallassie Hagos, probably entered because there was a course record to be beaten. The prize, £250 and a load of sports clothing and footwear, for winning would probably just have been worth his trip from the North East but add to that the checque he picked up for £1,000 for smashing the course record and you can see why he put in the extra effort. Not a bad days work really if you've got the talent which this young man clearly has in abundance. According to his profile he comes from a very poor background in Addis Ababa and is an inspiration to runners from East Africa to give them a route out of poverty. A few years ago he could probably not have even afforded a pair of running shoes, let alone some 2XU compression socks and Mammoth Sport Mattress, so good luck to him!...

Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon last Sunday....

Came in with a half decent time in the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon and, on the whole, enjoyed the day. Here's what I've just posted on Runner's World web site and it is meant as well intentioned criticism:

" Overall the day was very enjoyable and those hills, even though expected/dreaded, were worse than I thought they'd be. Marshalling seemed spot on, atmosphere a little clubby but maybe that's to be expected. Should I really complain about lack of goody bag and Kelly Holmes not staying at the finish line past the 2 hour mark? Maybe I should just have been a bit quicker than my pedestrian 2:14! Actually yes I think complaints on this are justified. After all without the slower runners, who are mostly beginners in need of encouragement, there'd be no race except an elitist clubby event which made no money. Without the back markers the generous prizes (£1,000) for course record breaking runs, however justified, just wouldn't be feasible. It's the popularity of the event which attracts the sponsors and the top runners. You knew how many had entered the race so next year TWHM organisers please, please recognise that you need the 2 to 3 hour runners more than we need you. Give us a medal from Dame Kelly and the goody bag we've earned. Failing that at least a bottle of water at the end!"

Having said all that I am very pleased to have taken part and it's given me the appetite do enter the Paddock Wood Half on April 1st and the Tonbridge Half on September 25th. I may even spend some of my hard earned cash on a GPS sports watch, so that I know how far and how fast I'm going in training, and those barefoot running shoes I've been eyeing up. You can see mine and many other competitors comments here if you're interested. Although I recognise that, just because I've caught the running bug doesn't mean that everyone has. I'll continue to bore you all to death for a good few weeks yet though don't you worry!...

Lucky escape for Peacocks in Tonbridge....

I hear that Peacocks in Tonbridge is to remain open. This must come as a heck of a relief for those employed by the chain. I understand from BBC news reports that around 230 stores in other towns up and down the country weren't so fortunate as new owners, Edinburgh Woollen Mills, decided to close them down with immediate effect. That's the harsh reality of the High Street retail business at the moment....

A History of The Slade....

Jacquie Wyatt, who lives in The Slade, is putting together a history and would welcome all your contributions about the area. They could be eye witness accounts of events or incidents, they could be recollections and happy memories of general street life. Better still if you have documents or photos. What ever they are get in touch. For those of you who don't know it The Slade area of Tonbridge isn't just the street called The Slade. No, just to confuse people, the whole area from Tonbridge School running track to Bank Street and up to the Rugby Club is known as the Slade. It's even marked on the map from the year 1280 above. But what does it mean?? Answers on a postcard please (actually in comments will do!) It will be very interesting to see what everyone comes up with and I look forward to stocking the book exclusively in Mr. Books shop! I'd like to include the actual poster for Jacquie's request but have given up trying to get the right format. So here's the most essential bit: how to contact her:

Call Jacquie Wyatt on 01732 770457, email jacquiewyatt@yahoo.co.uk or you can drop written memories through the door at

13 Havelock Road

.

Beales and Shop Closures....

The Tonbridge reporter at the Courier has been on to me about my TonbridgeBlog post regarding Beales. You may recall that someone claiming to be the Chief Executive Officer of the department store chain posted a comment below the article on Tonbridge shop closures recently. (Scroll down to view.) He wanted to set the record straight that, after a group strategic review, Beales in Tonbridge is definitely staying open for the forseeable future. Let's hope that means at least another ten years. Shams, at the KSC, being more thorough than me and indeed a proper journalist, unlike T Blog, has checked this out and verified that it was indeed the man himself who left the comment having seen it pop up on his Google alerts. (Now there's a true professional for you!) The local paper is to run a story on the subject with quotes from him and yours truely this Friday. I can hardly wait!...

National Speed Awareness Course: Famous People....

During yesterday's Nat Speed Awareness course in Oakwood Park House, Maidstone they made a point of asking us to switch off mobile phones and remove them from sight. The reason being that, in the past, participants on the course have monkeyed around by secretly videoing the sessions and later posting them on YouTube and other social network sites. Well I can assure you there were no monkeys on my course, although there might have been at least one gorilla! But were there any famous people? Would I be in breach of confidentiality if I told you that a certain Top Gear presenter may have been present? Well I don't recall signing anything! I'd better check just in case though....

Speed Awareness: Your Powers of Observation and Quick thinking....

If you think you are observant then watch this YouTube clip. The idea is to test your skill in watching how many times the basketball players just in the white shirts pass the ball to each other. A pass could be a bounced pass or a straight pass in the air. Song long as it reaches the other player. So watch closely and count the total number of passes. It's pretty simple really but a good test of how quick your eyes are. I learnt this on the National Speed Awareness course which I attended yesterday in Maidstone. More about that later, in the meantime do the test....

Plus Seven....

Well it's amazing how, in the space of a week, the temperature in Tonbridge has gone from minus to plus 7 degrees C. I bet those poor old crocus and daffodil bulbs don't know whether they're coming or going. Do they sprout now or do they wait a few weeks? Either way the green shoots are starting to appear everywhere and spring is just a little way off. Soon we'll all be gazing at the Castle grounds in full bloom, walking through bluebell woods and dreaming of lazy hazy summer days. In the meantime, back to reality. I'll be out pounding the streets and footpaths once again tomorrow for what will be my last training session before the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon next Sunday. I'm really looking forward to it but also dreading it as it's only my second ever run of that distance and, quite frankly, I don't think my body was built to run such distances. In the Tonbridge Half Marathon last September my aim was simply to get around the course without stopping running. I like to think that I've improved quite a bit since then so my target this time is to get around the hilly course in around 2 hours and 15 minutes. Any better than that I would be delighted. 2 hours or less and I'll be skipping home with glee. And speaking of speed some time ago I accepted a very kind invitation from Sussex Police to attend one of their Speed Awareness courses which has come round all too quickly and is in fact early next week. So they'll be teaching me to slow down and my running training will be making me speed up! I'm not sure I'll be able to cope with all that!...

Cream Crackered....

With less than two weeks to go before the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon, which I was mad enough to enter in a moment of lunacy just after Christmas, I think I may have overdone the training last weekend. I managed to fit an 8 miler in on Sunday, going out into Leigh and then onto Powder Mills and off road back into Tonbridge. Then yesterday I pounded the streets again going up to Bidborouh Ridge once more and down Vauxhall Lane and back into town. The second run, being the day after the first, was particluarly hard work up that Quarry Hill stretch so I felt like I'd really earned the long down hill stretch back home. My times have been steadily improving and I've managed to avoid heart attacks so far! But, to tell you the honest truth, today after biking to work, I'm feeling right cream crackered! I was glad to get to my desk and was actually hoping for a slow moring in the shop so that I could just relax. With it being half term and all that didn't happen, in fact it was quite busy so I've had to get up out of my chair on more than one occasion to help customers in search of the perfect book to read over the holidays. Although I'm looking forward to the T Wells Half I won't half be glad when it's over so that I can have a couple of weeks of putting my feet up. Knowing me though I'll probably enter the Paddock Wood Half which is in April. But at least that'll be flatter and I won't have to train up and down so many hills....

Millets to survive?...

...And on the subject of shop closures or non-closures, as the case may be, TonbridgeBlog also understands that Millets is staying open although there's some doubt as to whether it will stay a Millets outdoor shop our turn into a JD Sports (that's the group which took them over) or morph into something in the middle of the two (MD Sportletts?) Probably wouldn't be such a bad thing actually in Tonbridge to be able to buy some well cool Addidas trainers while you're browsing the waterproof wallets and walking socks. Could liven up a very tired brand. But then what do I know?!..

Good News on Beales....

Just thought that the record should be set straight on Beales shop closure which, if it did close, would have by far the biggest impact on Tonbridge than the others mentioned in a previous post (scroll down.) If it genuinely is the Chief Executive of Beales who's left this comment, because sometimes you just never know in the blogosphere, the it appears to confirm that they are staying open despite the rumours to the contrary. Let's hope so....

"I can assure everyone that we have no plans to close Beales in fact we are working to put even more brands in and hope to have a childrens department ready for Christmas, so please keep coming in and spending as it is a sure way of making the store a sucess. Tony Brown CEO Beales Department stores"

Minus Seven in Tonbridge!...

It's not often that the river is frozen in Tonbridge but it was last night and this morning under the bridge and by the Castle. This happened last year for quite a long spell during that cold period we had in January, as I recall, so maybe it'll become a regular thing. Older people are always telling me how cold the winters used to be in their youth but I'd say that they were never any colder than last night's temperature of -7. That's not quite cold store temperatures but it's cold enough to get those Russian hats out from the back of the closet. Mind you things could be worse. According to a news report the other day it was so cold in parts of Yorkshire and Cumbria that the rain was freezing immediately on hitting the ground making driving not just dangerous but just impossible. Make the most of it as it'll be spring before we know it....

A snowy walk in the woods....

I took a long walk in the snow the other day risking life and limb to bring you these pictures. I love it when you're just strolling along and then you see families out sledging making the most of the few short days opportunity for such wintery activities. I was merely an observer as I ambled my down Lamb's Bank, up Vauxhall Lane, over Southborough Common and out through the woods to the Wealdway and along to Bidborough. I must have looked, as my dad used to say, a cut up right, (which is Yorkshire speak for a real odd sight) in my ski sweater, ski hat and carrying an old wooden walking crook. But I was enjoying myself so much I just didn't care. The snow brings out the child in all of us. I scrambled down Bidborough Ridge on the footpath leading to Brook Street and Haysden. It's years since I went all the way down there and it looked fabulously picturesque in all its glistening whiteness....

Finch House in Tonbridge....

I poked my head into the new Tonbridge coffee place, Finch House, this morning and have to say that I was quite impressed. It reminded me a little of Carluccio's in Tunbridge Wells, with it's very light, airey interior and spacious seating arrangement. Also it has a shop area selling, what it calls, fine foods which are mainly locally produced groceries. Some of the items do seem a tad on the expensive side, I must say, so let's hope that enough people support the enterprise. Here's a thought: you don't think that they might have got Tonbridge mixed up with Tunbridge Wells before they opened do you?! An easy enough mistake to make for an outsider. No surely not, that just wouldn't happen, would it? and there certainly seemed to be quite a few people sitting in there sipping their coffee for an average Thursday morning so good luck to them. I'll be back there when I have a bit more time for a latte or two. Think they should extend the deli area and start selling quality ground coffee as well. But then what do I know?!..

RIP Bareface. Long live Stray Dogs....

The shock news in Tonbridge today is that punkish band, Bareface, have split up. I did wonder because the noise coming out of the semi derelict building where the band practices has definitely changed. They sound an altogther nicer band like they all have nice short haircuts and the young ladies could take them home to meet their parents. Whether that's a good image for a band is a different matter. Said Tom, the founding band member and guitarist, "The band decided that we all wanted to go in different directions and we'd taken Bareface as far as we could go." Sounds like a rock and rolly kind of statement to me Tom. Don't worry though because, despite having a new singer, part of the band lives on in the newly formed, worryingly named, Stray Dogs! I haven't learned many of their tunes yet but I've got a feeling that I will over the coming weeks if the experience with their predecessors was anything to go by! Catch up with the band on You Tube clips here to use their own venacular They're sick an' stuff. Whatever that means!...

Ten Days of "The Arts" in June....

Many people in Tonbridge won't know that there's to be an art festival in the town this summer. Well there is and, judging by the meeting I attended last night, there's a heck of alot of work being put into it and some right treats in store for anyone with even a passing interest in the arts. By "The Arts" what I mean in a nutshell is Visual (paintings, photos and that,) Literary (books, reading, poetry and what not,) and performing arts (dancing, singing, music and all that caper.) This is not going to be some stuffy high brow affair but something which should involve every person in the whole of Tonbridge (and let's not forget the rest of the borough.) So keep you eyes on the web site where soon you'll have a list of events which you can put in your diaries and start looking forward to ten days in June....

Tonbridge Shop Closures....

I don't want to start rumours but it seems that the recession is to bite Tonbridge High Street alot harder, in fact quite dramatically, over the next few months. It is only hearsay, I feel I should add, but it seems that we are soon to see a number of shop closures. Perhaps the most devastating will be Beales department store next to Sainsbury's, which sells clothes,luggage, nice kitchen equipment, gifts, you name it. Then there'll be Millets, whose parent group went into administration recently and have been bought out by JD Sports group who will be rationalizing their store locations. Then we'll more than likely see the closures of Peacocks and possibly QS, the two cut price clothing stores who are also in trouble. On the plus side I notice that there's a Cash Your Cheques Here-type shop just about to open where Bishop's green grocers used to sit. So maybe it won't be long before the High Street will be lined with new shops afterall: Cash Converters, Cash For Gold, charity shops, pawn shops etc etc. Let's hope my dark predictions don't come true....

Tonbridge HAS Talent....

Tonight is Tonbridge Has Talent being held at Tonbridge School. I will mostly be doing a poor impression of Simon Cowell (without the £millions of course!) The acts will range from juggling and dancing to singing and comedy with everything in between. Being on the judging panel is a task not to be taken lightly. The performers have the chance to literally change their lives in two minutes. Oh no that's Britain's Got Talent! Never mind, they still have the chance to make the audience happy and feel entertained and that, in itself, is reason enough. I'm looking forward to it and to seeing some of the real talent that exists in Tonbridge. It's the fourth year that I've accepted the invitation to be on the panel and every year I'm amazed at the sheer quality and variety of the finalists. I'll try to put a link up to the video of the night over the next few days so look out for that....

Phwaorrr you seen page 3 today?!..

On page 3 of The Telegraph today there's probably a juicy story about a vicar having an affair with the treasurer of the Parish Council in some Gloucestershire village, there often is. In the Courier they frequently  run fairly light hearted stories on page 3. So what's wrong with a bit of titilation? Nothing? Well how about The Sun's page 3 with Zoe from Brighton's "assets" on display for the whole family to gaze at? The paper has been at it since 1970 and today Dominic Mohan, editor of the good old Currant Bun, is being recalled to the Leveson inquiry to answer probing questions about the practice. He will have to answer questions like is putting gratuitous pictures of young women's naked breasts appropriate in a modern British society. Are they offensive and degrading to women? What do you all think of it. Inappropriate, should be banned from papers like the Sun, Star and Sport, or just a harmless bit of fun? Would it be alright to feature them on Tonbridge Blog on a daily basis for instance? Where would you draw the line?...

Dame Kelly Fitness Range....

Speaking of running half marathons I see that Tonbridge's very own Dame Kelly Holmes has brought out a new range of fitness products. Well I suppose it was inevitable wasn't it. You can't blame her for cashing in on her success though can you and who'd begrudge her it, especially since she's a great one for supporting local and good causes. The products, so far as I can see, are exclusively available at Tesco and range from medicine balls and skipping ropes to weights belts and cross training machines. The prices seem very reasonable actually, as you might imagine from Tesco, and, since I'm a bit prone to leg injuries myself, I do like the look of that Reusable Gel Wrap. You put it in the freezer or microwave and strap it to the injured area. Only £6 in the sale and beats getting the bag of frozen peas out!...

Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon looming....

It's getting rather close to the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon which I've been crazy enough to enter. I find that entering races gives me a goal to aim for and prevents me from using pathetic excuses for not training. You know like, I had a late night. Or I couldn't sleep or I don't really feel like going out this morning or I might be coming down with a cold. Pathetic excuses all of them! Yes having a lung busting event like this one to look forward to really does focus the mind. I've been running up to Bidborough Ridge from the bottom of Quarry Hill as many times a week as I can fit in (which, admittedly is usually only twice) for quite a while now. The reason for this is that I'm told that there's a particularly nasty little hill from Penshurst to Fordcombe so I don't want to be caught out and use the pathetic excuse of not having done any hill training when I knew I'd need to now do I? Trouble is that since the Tonbridge Half last September the furthest I've ran in one session is about 7 miles. So there's still work to be done. It's simply a matter of getting some road (and trail) miles in over the next three weeks or so and, injuries permitting, I should peak at exactly the right... damn I think I may have strained a calf muscle moving my chair back!...

Is the A-Board debate set to explode?

I hear on the grapevine that the owner of The Wharf is hopping mad after having had his business' A Board confiscated last Friday and who can blame him! If you scroll down to late November postings below you'll see that Tonbridge Blog has addressed this subject before. Indeed their now exists a Kent County Council scheme called A Board Aware which allows traders to apply to put a sticker on their windows saying that they are responsible board users and that they declare that they will not block the public highway (which includes the pavements) It seems that The Wharf owner hasn't heeded my advice to apply for a magic sticker. Mind you I did apply for mine on the same day, November 30th last year, and published the email I sent which you can still read below if you're that bothered. I also had to send them photos of typical positions of my intended A Board use. What did they conclude? Did they grant me a licence to display my sign? Well actually they neither granted it nor declined it. In fact I've heard nothing back from them at all. Not a thing, zilch. So much for clever, well meaning, sound bitey schemes if they take two months to get back to you. The guy at The Wharf will probably get a shock when he finds out that the Highways Department of KCC will bill him for taking the sign away, storing it and delivering it back again! That's what they intended to do to me a few years back so it probably hasn't changed. Now, ask yourself, in these times when all businesses are desperate for every bit of extra trade they can get, is this approach by KCC doing any good for the Tonbridge economy? The Courier are on to this matter I understand and will be publishing a piece for and against A Boards this Friday. Not exactly riveting stuff, you might think, but nevertheless an important topic for the town's retailers....

Local beers at the Rose and Crown please....

Having had a few very acceptable pints in the Rose and Crown the other night at the Tonbridge Tweetup (scroll down for that post) it occurred to me that maybe the hotel, which is smack bang in the centre of the old part of town, ought to be serving some of the wonderful local brewries' offerings. The beer in the hotel bar is acceptable, as I say, but it is, rather predictably, Harvey's and Green King. Both okay but nothing more than that. They'd do a lot worse than William Wilburforce Freedom Ale by Westerham Brewery or, better still, Coppernob and Auburn Myth by our very own Tonbridge Brewery. I've never tried Tunbridge Wells Breweries ales on tap but the bottled versions of the best bitter aren't half bad, if a little metallic for my taste. It would be a good idea for them, good to support the local producers and fabulous for the customer to be able to try out some of these less available, but excellent, beers. I don't know whether the Rose and Crown is tied to any particular big brewery but they're missing a trick if you ask me....

Church Marriage Blessings....

Page 3 of today's Courier tells us a nice local story about how St. Stephen's is hoping to save marriages from the dreaded divorce by hosting romantic dinners at the church. Couples are apparently being urged to give their relationships "an MOT!" The breakdown of marriage is a serious business indeed so I'm sure that the vicar, Rev. Mark Barker, is full of good intentions. (And, before you say anything, I feel sure that the menu wouldn't be limited to just bread, water and wine!) But, I'll tell you something, if I offered to take my wife for a romantic dinner in the church hall to save our marriage, however good the wine and grub, it would be Decree Nisi before you could say avocado prawn cocktail!...

Comedy and a load of old balls....

Another thing I found out at the Tonbridge Tweet Up last night in the Rose and Crown was that Angel Indoor Bowls Club hosts a regular comedy night. I like a bit of stand up myself so I may well have to go down there when the next one's on. The acts would have to be pretty good otherwise the members might throw things at them and those wooden bowling balls are pretty heavy and all! Also, I didn't let on last night that, in my youth, I used to be a bit of a dab hand at the old crown green bowls myself. Better not tell them that though otherwise they'll be pressurizing me into joining the club. Have I reached a ripe enough age yet to get back into bowls? Maybe I'll give it till I'm in my 70s! Only joking guys honestly....

Tonbridge Twitterati....

The Tonbridge Twittersphere is active this morning after many of the town's twitterati enjoyed a lovely evening in the oak beamed lounge bar of the Rose and Crown, fittingly right in the heart of the old town. I must admit I was slightly dreading the evening, although curious to know what all the fuss was about. So with more than a little trepidation I ventured out all of the 50 yards from Mr. Books across the High Street and into the back entrance of the hotel. Well I didn't want all the fuss of a big fanfare welcome from the mysterious, anonymous host, @Tonbridgetweet up (to use her twitter handle.) There I've half given the game away by telling you that she is in fact a female. So that narrows it down to half the population at least. On arrival I ordered my first pint of the evening and, taking a large thirst quenching gulp, wondered were the heck everyone else was. I could have used this moment to back out gracefully, having made the effort, and make a hasty gettaway, but the barman obviously sensed that I was here for something and informed me that the tweetuppers were in the bar at the end of the restaurant. I have to confess that I've always thought it better to remain at least semi anonymous on twitter but, having met a handlful of them, I'm coming round to the view that there's no harm in meeting up once in a while. After all we all have at least one thing in common: that bizarre desire to tell the rest of the world what we're doing and what we're thinking at any one time; to give our "followers" snapshots into our own world. I personally find the whole business of blogging very liberating and, let's face it, we all like to get things off our chest once in a while and, this way at least, you might strike a chord with somebody out there and maybe they'll sympathise with you. So we all sat around in a big semi circle, rather awkwardly at first without the laptop or smartphone, and some fibre optic cable, between us. There were more than few longish pauses, the atmospshere somewhere between a gathering of new friends and a company conference on the first night. Within an hour or so most people were joking and sharing stories like old friends; the beer and wine helping to loosen our tongues of course. The Rose and Crown did us proud by bringing us lots of tasty snacks like chips, crisps, bowls of olives, bread and some really rather scrummy sausages on cocktail sticks. The hotel staff were understandably keen to keep the tweetuppers coming back. Perhaps they sensed that the group are actually quite influential of opinions in Tonbridge or, perhaps, they were just being nice. Either way the food was appreciated and saved me getting a burger and chips from the kebab shop on the way home which was my other plan. So would I go again? I hear a few of you ask. Probably yes, especially since I'm literally spitting distance away. Not that I'm planning to be spitting across the High Street! Anyway I must sign off now as, probably, no one is reading this any way. They're all on twitter! The only snag with twitter though is that you have to get everything into 140 characters. Where TonbridgeBlog has the advantage is that you can say it in 1,400 if you want to. So my twitter entry for the above might read something like: "Rose+Crown @tonbridgetweetup last nite g8 fun although slightly awkwrd at 1st. Fab food + gd company. See you all Feb" Damn it that's still too long to fit! 

Tonbridge Has Talent....

This morning I've accepted an invitation to be a judge at Tonbridge Has Talent which is being held at the EM Forster Theatre next Friday. It's a great night out if you've never been before and tickets do sell fast I'm told. It never ceases to amaze me just how much talent their is in the town. Last year there were singer song writers, bands, comedians, jugglers, dancers, and even a ventriloquist whose dummy was alive! (or was that the year before? either way it obviously had an impact on me, mentally scarred me for life you might say!) It was reported in the local press that I was the harsh Simon Cowell-like member of the judging panel which I thought was a little unfair. I may have told it like it was on a few occasions but then that's life. They have to be able to take the criticism now if they want to go on to great things later! I hope I can, in my own small way help them on that path!...

Titanic 1912-2012...

Poor Taste or just tastes poor?

Just had an interesting conversation in my shop on the story, which ran in the Courier last Friday, all about a customer who took exception to a beer called Titanic being on sale at the Little Brown Jug pub, Chiddingstone Causeway. An angry customer called David Price, who I happen to know quite well, was put out that the pub's refused to accept that their beer, Titanic Iceberg, which the blurb on bottle claims will "hole any passing thirst" was in poor taste. That's not to say that it tastes poor, in fact, so I'm told, it tastes quite nice and is very refreshing when served ice cold (which, after all, is the message they're somewhat brashly trying to get across.) He took particular umbrage because this year is the centenary of the famous doomed voyage of the "unsinkable" ship going down and many hundreds of passgenger meeting their end in the freezing cold seas of the North Atlantic Ocean. The brewery, in their defence has been around since 1985 according to their web site so you could argue that it's in no more poor taste now than it was 20 years ago, 2 years ago or 2 months ago. I'm sure the story has been blown up out of all proportion anyway and it was as much a result of some sarcastic comment from the barman or something of that nature. Mr Price most probably wrote a letter to the paper and the editor, I'd have thought, saw a story in it with the topical nature of the Costa Concordia but then that's what newspaper editors get paid for isn't it? Still, as they say, no such thing as bad publicity and I'm sure the landlord of the Little Brown Jug will be pleased with the temporary uplift in trade. I've never been in the place as it happens but I might give it a try now. And no I won't be going in there and making jokes about sinking a few pints thank you very much!...

A Day at the Wells....

Coming back from The Wells the other day I caught the bus which, for me, is a very infrequent occurance. I might even say an alien experience. Being a stranger to this mode of transportation I enquired at the bus stop opposite the Civic Centre as to whether or not the gentlemen's Arriva bus was bound for Tonbridge town. Expecting a courteous reply the driver gestured with his hands towards the front of the bus and informed me "Says High Brooms!" in a rather distasteful and uncourteous manner. Tunbridge Wells in its 18th Century hay day this was not! The driver may as well have said "Are you thick or something mate, can't you bleedin read?!" for that was the tone in which he imparted his travellling information advice. My children have oft told me how blunt these stage coach drivers can be of a morning when they are on there school journeys, how they like their little power trip in a job that is, in all probabilty, otherwise incredibly dull and unfulfilling, but here I was experiencing it first hand. I said to the driver something like; "You are assuming that I know the area and I'm a regular bus user in saying that!" He gestured with a shrug of the shoulders that he didn't care two hoots and that whatever I said it would be water off a duck's back. Amazing how he could impart all that with one shrug of the shoulders but it was definitely all there. So in front of all the bus travellers alighting from his High Brooms bound carriage I'm afraid I shouted rather loudly to the gentlemen that he was, and I quote a "Rude sod!" That told the blighter!...

Take a hike to Tunbridge Wells....

I had a lovely walk down to TunbridgeWells the other day. Yes, you heard me, a walk. I walked to Tunbridge Wells from Tonbridge on Monday. Why? I hear some of you saying; and that's just what my family said to me. Why would I do that when I could have caught the bus or driven or even cycled? Well for a few reasons actually. I've lived in Tonbridge for the best part of 23 years and have never done it before That was the first reason (and sometimes that's reason enough!) The second was I wanted to know how long it would take. And thirdly, I couldn't go running because of a strained calf muscle so I thought the next best thing would be to walk for a little more gentle exercise. Afterall it's only about 5 or six miles to the Pantiles, which was the ultimate destination, and, lately, I've been used to running further than that most Sundays. In truth though much of the walk was a little dull I have to say. From the top of Quarry Hill to Southborough Common takes only about half an hour but it seems like an age as the lorries buses and cars whip past you on that narrow stretch of the A26. You feel pretty lonely as there are very few other walkers or cyclists around. In fact you feel a bit of an oddball, a vagrant almost, so used to going by car are we. It's different if you're in a town or if you're out in the countryside with your walking boots on, climbing over styles and jumping across brooks; then you feel like your doing a leisure activity. But on the road you're just someone with no transport and not enough money to catch the bus; or at least I felt like that's what people might think. I spent all afternoon wandering around the shops and bought some nice new cloths in the Crew Sale and a few other bits and bobs. So catching the bus on the way home I felt a bit more normal with my expensive looking shop carrier bags. I'll probably never do it again but at least I now know that it takes only an hour and twenty minutes brisk walk from Tonbridge right to the centre of Tunbridge Wells, nothing really when you think about it. So next time I hear of kids bunking off school because of a bit of snow or bus drivers being on strike there'll be no excuses. They can take a hike....

Can Brian's Bikes find the next Mr. Book bike?....

Now there's a challenge! I've just spoken to Brian of Brian's bikes in Holford Street, Tonbridge (behind the railway station as if you didn't know) about getting another butchers delivery bike to replace the one that was thoughlessly wrecked by oiks at the bus stops under the Castle. He's now on the case, so to speak, and, hopefully, will be able to sell me one soon. There are some on ebay at the moment going for around a hundred quid and upwards so I could have the Mr. Books Bike II out on duty next week if I wanted to but I'm in no desperate rush and it'd be nice if Brian can get hold of one for me in working order and ideally a Pashley, with basket, a leather seat and a the original silver bell (not that I'm fussy) so I'll be able to show it off by riding it up and down the High Street. Perhaps I could even deliver some books on it. That'd be fun!...

Humphrey Bean Versus The P&J....

Had one of my rare mid week nights out in Tonbridge last night when an old work colleague came over to see me. We had a lot of catching up to do so we needed somewhere we could talk, get a nice pint and, since neither of us had eaten by the time he arrived, somewhere that did half decent food quickly at a moderate price. I can count the number of times that I've been in the Humphrey Bean Wetherspoons on one hand and I don't really like these souless places but, I have to admit, on this occasion it ticked all the boxes. It turned out to be Thursday Curry Night so I could feel a Chicken Tika Massala coming on as soon as we walked in. A bit predictable I know and, in truth, it was at best average but it filled the gap so to speak and served a purpose and you can't argue with six quid for a ruby murray and a pint now can you! Because we were having curry I plumped for a lager as my meal deal pint which was pretty much as I expected for a Carling Black Label. It washed down the tika nicely buts that's about all. For my next pint in The Spoons (as I think the youngsters are calling the HB these days) I wanted to be a bit more adventurous so walked the length of the bar in search of something new. To my delight they did have a couple of interesting local beers which the barman/assistant manager let me sample first before I committed to a full pint. Unfortunately he would only let me try two out of the four or five I wouldn't have minded a finger or two of. Maybe he thought that I was a hobo just asking to sample everything and then, half cut, saying I won't bother before going outside to scrape up yet more tab ends to smoke in the shop doorway I'd chosen to doss down in for the night! In the end I went for a Westerham Brewery's bitter which was very acceptable and I will be back for more even though, as my friend said, they are really a McPub. That is to say, like McDonalds, predictable and consistant but, for me anyway, that also goes along with souless and distinctly average.
So after that experience I had to take my friend to a place where I know you can get a good pint: The Punch and Judy next to the Police Station. I wanted to try the Tonbridge Brewery's Coppernob which I knew they had in. If it was anything approaching as good as their Auburn Myth then I knew we were in for a treat. We weren't disappointed. It was quite simply splendid. Tasty, zesty, slightly malty possibly, a tiny bit fruity and nectar in a glass. My friend decided to wup me at the bar billiards table while we chatted about old times. He was doing a good job of it until in both the second and the third leg of our three game epic encounter his impatience and greed for those bonus 200 points got the better of him and he managed to bowl over the black skittle. Nice to have a night out in Tonbridge in two very different pubs. No prizes for guessing though which one Tonbridge Blog prefers....

A Sevenoaks Grammar School please for Tonbridge's sake!...

You can tell which papers I tend to read online most days can't you?! There's a very interesting article in the Telegraph today, which I just happened to stumble across, about the plan to set up a grammar school in Sevenoaks. It talks about the situation at the moment whereby the poor, pushy parents of Sevenoaks have to cram their boys with of hours of personal tutoring to enable them to get top marks in the 11+ exam in order that they'll get a place at the super selective Judd School. It doesn't mention the current knock on effect of  Tonbridge boys being displaced by Judd and having to go to schools in Tunbridge Wells if they happen to drop a couple of points on the 11+ paper. So yes I personally hope that that Sevenoaks gets its own grammar so that yet more young boys in their smart new blazers aren't forced to endure seven years of journey's on that car park that is the St. Johns road into Tunbridge Wells every morning....

Breathless and sweaty of Tonbridge....

I loved these pictures in the Telegraph today, taken in a Paris park by Sacha Goldberger, of joggers just after a run looking out of breath and sweaty. She then contrasts that look by an adjacent picture of the same person in similar but smart clothes. I liked it anyway. I suppose it appealed to both the runner and the photographer in me. I wonder what I'd have looked like if she'd taken one of me after my seven mile jog around Tonbridge yesterday. Not a pretty sight either before or after I should think!...

Farmers Market: keeping it local....

Don't forget to visit the Tonbridge Farmers Market tomorrow morning. It's the first one of the new year so it could do with your support. Last month there were almost 70 stalls selling a huge variety of local produce from fruit and veg to meat and game and everything in between. I shall be going down there for breakfast in the covered "food hall" area. What shall I have? Maybe a pork and apple burger or a chocolate crepe or maybe I'll just have lots of free samples of cake, pies and cheese! All washed down with a freshly made coffee made with fair trade beans. Keep it local and get yourselves down there....

Farewell John Marshall....

I've just heard the tragic news that the Director of Tonbridge School Facilities, John Marshall, died suddenly over Christmas at a terribly young age. I knew John mainly through business having dealt with him for many years regarding the Tonbridge Book Fair held at the school. More recently though I've got to know him much better as both John and I sat on the Tonbridge Arts Festival Committee. I always found him to be very pleasant to deal with and he always managed to conduct affairs in a way which allowed the balance to be just right between being jovial and business like at the same time. He always came across as a happy chap which influenced those around him to be the same. He'll be sadly missed....

Tonbridge Half Marathon date confirmed

And speaking of catching the running bug I've just heard that the Tonbridge Half Marathon is to go ahead on Sunday September 23rd after its very successful inaugural event last year. They've extended the limit of entries to 1,500 this year having had many runners unable to register with the previous limit of 1,000. (All the more annoying since only 850 actually started the race.) I'm told by the race organisers that the route is to remain the same which is a bit of a shame because, and I think I can speak for most participants, it would be nice if some of the course went through Tonbridge itself instead of just skirting it. Unless of course they rename it the Leigh Half Marathon which might be more accurate! This year then no one should be disappointed but, just in case book it early; you can do it now online then get some training in because, I can tell you from my own experience last year, it's quite a tough, hilly course especially if, like last year, it's a hot day.  I'm off to investigate bare foot running shoes and GPS watches!...

Happy 2012....

Welcome back and a big HAPPY NEW YEAR to all. What a wonderful Christmas no doubt you had. Mine was a nice quiet family one, although most of us weren't too well at some stage or other. New Year was a little more rowdy but, as you get older you stop going out to parties as you see there's not that much to celebrate, preferring instead a fairly quiet one with family and friends watching Jools Holland yet again. Okay, the truth is, no one invited me to anything better and I'm really not that popular any more if I ever was! My New Years Day started with a refreshing morning 6 mile run along the sea front as, in a moment of utter madness a couple of months ago, I'd entered the Cleethorpes New Years Day 10K. Well it is my home town, so it was a great excuse to go home for New Years Eve and then blow the cobwebs of the next morning. The prospect of this madness would surely horrify most people but, as you may know, I'm well into my running at the moment and it's these event which keep me out there training whenever I can. A great motivation it is not to want to look a fool on race day! If you're interested, which you're probably not, I achieved my target time of under an hour, 59 minutes and 45 seconds to be precise, and mighty pleased I was too. I've already entered the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon in another moment of sheer lunacy this morning and may well go for the Paddock Wood and Tonbridge later in the year. I've got lots of book fairs planned in already so my year is pretty much mapped out for me. How about yours?...