Hay, There's lovely for you!...

TonbridgeBlog is back from the Hay on Wye Literary Festival, frankly wishing he was still there in the middle of the Black Mountains and the Brecon Beacons surrounded by arty actor and author types with a choice of forty bookshops in a town half the size of Tonbridge. I saw a load of famous people such as a performance by my fave poet Roger McGough and the first female Poet Laureate, Carol Ann Duffy, as well as Sue Perkins, Anthony Horowitz, the Archbish of Canterbury and amazingly Desmond Tutu, surrounded by several beefy dog-collar wearing "minders" standing right there a few feet away from me. I've made Hay an annual family pilgrimage and always feel physically knackered but mentally refreshed when I return; I can't think of anything bad to say about the place. As they say in Wales: There's lovely for you!...

Victoria Hislop Book Signing today....

Yes it is still on this afternoon from 4 till 5pm. Form an orderly queue along the High Street and around the corner into Bank Street. Her first novel, The Island, was critically acclaimed winning several prestigious awards, and the follow up, The Return, is currently number two on the best seller list. They are essentially beautifully written, historical novels; The Return centering around the Spanish Civil War in the 1930s, which spilt the country in two. Come along to Mr. Books, Bank Street, Tonbridge, opposite Church Lane, buy a signed copy or two and to have an informal chat with Victoria, who is a Tonbridge girl after all....

Laugh? I nearly wet meself!...

Went to a fantastic night of comedy at the Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club club house last night, so feeling the effects today. Aching sides that is and also an aching head (well you need a couple of beers to loosen yourself up a bit to allow the comedy to have its full impact I always find.) These guys were the real deal, from the London comedy circuit so they were polished performers. There were no moments squirming in your seat thinking when are they getting off the stage, not even an embarrassing pregnant pause. The compere held it all together really well, although he did use the f word quite alot. Football? Federalism? Ferns? Fundementalism? No the other one! Frank Skinner, that famous sweary comedian, apparently tried doing his whole live act without saying fuck (oh it slipped out!) and concluded that it actually made no difference at all to the level of laughter. So there's a lesson for us all there, maybe somewhere, who knows. Anyway all three acts were brilliant but the final act, and of cause I've forgotten his name, who had a brilliant combination of fast talking one liners, general nuttiness bordering on insanity and anal slapstick (imagine a cross between Harry Hill, Groucho Marx and Le Petomain and you'll be in the vicinity) had my sides splitting from start to finish. This night, which was a charity fund raiser, organised by Adam, one of the young first team players, should definitely become an annual event. Can I remember any of the jokes to share with you all? Can I f....

Tonbridge County Secondary School 1949-1950?...

I've just acquired some old school magazines from the late 1940s and early 50s for Tonbridge County Secondary School for Boys. Now was that the name for Sussex Road before it became a primary school or was it Slade or another school that doesn't exist anymore perhaps? This is where my lack of local knowledge, being a man of the North whose been down this way for 25 years or more, really shows up. Any true Tonbridge thoroughbreds out there will instantly know the answer and probably think TonbridgeBlog incredibly dim for not knowing!...

Victoria Hislop Book Signing this Saturday...

Just a quickie, all I have time for, to say that Victoria Hislop's Book signing is still going ahead but the time has changed to 4pm to 5pm on the same day ie. this Saturday May 23rd. I've changed all posters, web site, infomed press and radio stations, all you have to do is show up, if you like her books that is....

The Ivy House is back in business....

I noticed that my old favourite pub in Tonbridge, The Ivy House, has now reopened after several months of being refurbished. I also noticed that they've given it a new name for the 21st Century. It now officially the Ivy House Dining Room and Bar; they've taken down the old pub signs and replaced them with some very dull looking ones. I know that it has to attract people with money and serve food and have an outdoor lounge, cos that's what customers expect these day; and I know that they are a commercial concern and have to make a profit but, oh, I do hope it hasn't lost its old and wonderfully seedy atmosphere. I may just have to toddle on down there later on this evening to find out!...

Collectors and spotters....

I often wonder about the weird and wonderfully diverse group of people who are book collectors. They come in all shapes and sizes and from all walks of life. From bus drivers, financiers, car dealers, aristocrats, even tramps. I've had them all in my shop and it's hard to pin point just what has led to their particular book obsession, be it Rider Haggard first editions, observer books, books about trains or boats, buses or trams, football or chess. So I was particularly interested in a brilliant collection of photos on the Guardian web site today about spotters, because I think they're basically the same type of people. That is to say people who spot things; birds, trucks, boats, sharks you name it there's a spotters fan club for it. There's probably a book collector spotter out there somewhere! I'll leave you to judge for yourselves....

Tonbridge entourage?!..

Someone tells me that there was an entourage of six cars, flanked by a number of Police motor bikes seen in Tonbridge yesterday. I didn't spot it. Anyone know who it might have been? My thought was our estwhile MP Sir John Stanley using up the last of his expenses before the big clamp down! Or Whacko Jacko, who apparently has been looking at houses in the area, now there's a thought....

Victoria Hislop in my shop? Shurely shome mishtake...

Well I've had an interesting day what with sorting out the MOT and service on the car. A customer in the shop recommended Alba in Hildenborough, who seem to have done a very competent job as far as my untrained eye can see. They even offered to drop me back in Tonbridge and to deliver the car when it was finished. I elected instead for the fold up bike in the boot and ride back into town option since it was a reasonably nice morning, then got a lift there this evening. It did cost well over £250 all in once they'd added in the fully synthetic oil, new wiper blades and other bits and bobs, but they were very nice. I stopped off at the Hildenborough farmers market this morning on my way back from the garage and thought it looked very good, and quite busy, considering it was only about 9-15. Why the heck can't we have a weekly farmers market around the Castle? I wondered to myself as I perused the green veg, mushrooms, bread and cake stalls, plants, fish, butchers, crafts and soaps and other lovelies, what's not to like?! Oh and I've been chatting with local, and becoming famous author, Victoria Hislop about doing a book signing at the next Book Fair in October. She tells me that she went to both Slade Primary School and the Tonbridge Grammar School for girls, so she truely is a local lass. As it turns out she might not be able to come to the fair but she has agreed to come along to Mr. Books Bookshop for an informal book signing and chat next Saturday, May 23 from about 10am to 11am. So if you fancy a signed copy of her highly aclaimed debut novel The Island or her best selling follow up, The Return, you know where to come. Don't tell too many people though as she's asked me to keep it lowish key! Now I've just got figure out where to put all the other books to make room for hers!...

Poetry in Tonbridge? Yes please or Whatever....

No news on the Ivy House poetry nights in Tonbridge, they are still refurbishing the decaying old, seedy (but lovely) place. By the way I noticed the other day that the pub sign seems to have been removed, so perhaps a name change is in the offing. In the meantime here's a poem called Whatever by the new, and first female, Poet Laureate, Carol Ann Duffy, which I thought was particularly lovely despite, or maybe because of, her rather strange sounding voice. The Poetry Archive site allows you to read many poems and, more interestingly in my opinion, allows you to listen to the poets themselves reading their own material. In fact there are even old recordings such as Tennyson reading The Charge of the Light Brigade if you prefer the more traditional stuff....

Fate or coincidence at Mr. Books....

To my amazement I had in stock two old hardback books by Lloyd C. Douglas, The Robe and The Big Fisherman, which a lady really wanted for a Christening present tomorrow. When she walked in I'm afraid I hadn't heard of either of the titles so I said that she'd be lucky to find them and could merely point her to the section in the shop where they might be. Within two or three minutes she had found them both almost popping out of the shelf at her. Considering that I've been known to take an hour, sometimes more, finding a book which I know I have, so this was just a little spooky. I'm not a great believer in fate, but this was certainly a huge coincidence. Still I was glad to be of help; and to take her money!...

Think of Three beautiful things....

I still enjoy the occasional look at Three Beautiful Things, which is a locally based (Tunbridge Wells) blog which does exactly what it's name suggests. Three positive things are mentioned each day which have caught the writers attention. Sometimes they are fairly mundane things, other times they are really quite poetic. I think it has stood the test of time because it's so brilliant in it's simplicity. Ok it can be a bit gooey sometimes, but other times she hits it spot on for me and strikes a chord. See what you think....

Community Life....

Even several months on people still come into my shop and say things like: "...when are you going to start writing the Tonbridge Community column in the Courier again?" Which is nice, but the problem is that they didn't treat us Community Life correspondents too well, otherwise I'd still be writing it. Apart from abruptly deciding not to pay us all (and they were only paying us £9 a week anyway!) they never asked us in to see the print works or editorial floor, nor did they ever pay us the odd visit. They lost a lap top computer containing all our personal information, including bank details, and offered us a derisory compensation to fob us off. They never even organised a get together once a year for us all, consequently I only ever got to share ideas and chat with around three or four of the other writers. You'd have thought that with us all being so spread out they might have at least done that once in four years. So I'll never say never but I have to say it's very unlikely that I'll write the column again in the foreseeable future. £100 a week, a car and free luncheon vouchers? When do I start!...

Tonbridge Juddians: Unconquered....

What an amazing season the 1st XV team had at the Tonbridge Juddians (TJs) Now I knew they'd had a few whapping great big wins this season but wasn't quite aware of their massive achievement. Even when you take account of the money the club have spent on recruiting new professional coaching staff and some, more or less, semi-pro players its still stunningly good. The record speaks for itself: 44 points out of a possible 44 points with 22 wins out of 22. TJs finish 8 points clear of second placed Bromley and were promoted with a Played 22, Won 22, Drawn 0, Lost 0, Points For 1085, Against 163, Points Difference +922 record. Over a thousand points! Incredible! If they can do anything like as well in the higher division next season they'll probably be promoted again. I may even go down to watch them a bit more next season, when the matches will, hopefully, be a little less one-sided. Enjoy your summer lads, you've earned the rest....

P'd off....

Couldn't help but notice that the Civil Enforcement Officers (that's traffic wardens to you and me) now have cars to take them to and from their patch. The cars (photo to follow soon hopefully) have a big blue "P" on the side. Is this P for Parking, are they a mobile car park? Can we park in front or on top of the Parking Attendant Mobile? Will they soon just issue tickets from the dry comfort of their luxury Berlingos? They've probably got the technology so it might not be long. Possibly a little bit extravagant with our community charge money in these hard times; afterall walking to and from their territory has always sufficed before. Many of us wish they would all just P off...

Au revoir Tonbridge Civic Society Committee....

And speaking of committees, last night I informed the Chairman of the Tonbridge Civic Society that I no longer wish to be considered for re-election onto the Excecutive Committee. Effectively that means that I step down as of now, although officially after the society's AGM at the Angel Centre on Tuesday May 26th. I've really quite enjoyed the experience of being actively involved in matters which directly effect the the look of the town; I think the society has its heart very firmly in the right place, with no hidden agenda of any kind. Just a bunch of, mainly retired, Tonbridge folk who care about their town, want to promote civic pride and wish to see new buildings particularly in the town centre being well thought out and built to aesthetically pleasing designs. There can't be anything wrong with that can there? Ok it probably does attract a few busy-bodies who may occasionally stand in the way of positive progress, but surely that's better than nobody caring. So why have I stepped down then? Because, not being retired yet, I really couldn't give the exec committee role the time and commitment it deserved, I have done my four year stint, perhaps it's time for someone else, with time on their hands and fresh ideas to give it crack. I will continue to pay my ten quid a year family membership and attend as many of their open meetings as possible, maybe I'll even help out on the newsletter or with PR from time to time, because I do believe actually that the TCS does make quite a considerable contribution to the town. Anyone can join, and some of the meetings really are very entertaining and informative; the Civic Design Awards, which is their flag ship event is held in the lovely surroundings of Somerhill Hill House and Gardens, and you get a nice buffet meal and pretty much unlimited wine, all for £12, which can't be at all bad. Click on this link to find out more; and I've just noticed that the top photo on their home page is actually a picture of me (and my daughter) walking away in the distance through the Market Quarter development, which won last years design award, and that photo now takes on a new significance....

Decisions by committee....

The Tonbridge Decorative Fine Arts Society don't half move quickly. They asked me a while ago if I'd put something in my column in the Courier. A column which I hadn't written for over six months! I replied saying pretty much that but I'd be glad to include a link to their website on TonbridgeBlog. Low and behold, 2 months later and probably several committee and sub committee meetings later, they've sent me the reply below. I know I'm being a bit cheeky taking the micky out of them, because they are probably very decent people, but it tickled me just how long such a simple decision can take. I can just picture them now getting to the fourth item on the AOB part of the agenda and then agonising over the advantages and disadvantages of being on such an outspoken site.
"Dear Mr R Thanks for your e-mail 3 March 2009 mentioning your Tonbridge blog. The committee would be very pleased if you could put a link on it to our web site.www.nadfaskentarea.org.uk This is the web site for all NADFAS societies in Kent and there is a link to the Tonbridge TDFAS society. Kind regards Barbara C TDFAS"

So what's best then a committee or a dictator running the society? I hear you all cry in unison....

The Tonbridge Garden show revisited....

Well I went to the Garden Show this morning. Saw lots of plants, shrubs, garden seats and tables, some animals in very small pens with collection boxes hung on the fence collecting for an animal sanctuary, lots of cheese, a delicatessen and other foody stalls including the African Spot selling biltong, at least one artist selling his paintings and doing a painting while he was at it. Then there were people selling, garden whirlpools, outdoor clothing, wind chimes, I even saw, rather bizarely, some didgeridoos for sale. Would I have have paid the £4 entrance fee had I not had a complimentary ticket? Probably not, although clearly lots of people didn't seem to mind. I do wonder if it might be more sensible for the organisers to go for a nominal sum of say a pound and charging the exhibitors very slightly more, which they won't mind because the visitor numbers will inevitably increase which benefits them. Now it's off to the Craft Show at Penshurst! Not really, but, if anyone has been or is going they could report back by commenting below....

What's on in Tonbridge....

There's the Garden and Home Show, under new management, on Saturday, Sunday and Bank Holiday Monday at the Sportsground Park; they do charge to get in so that you can spend money, which I always find a little odd, but it might be worth a look. Then there's the Craft Show at Penshurst Place if you fancy a day out there in an idyllic setting, or you could even cycle over there on the Tonbridge-Penshurst cycle trail, mostly off road, if you're feeling more energetic. There'll be lots of men with long beards and unwashed hair, wearing jumpers made on their own pedal-knitting machines making wicker baskets and pots, and there's sure to be something of interest for the whole family if you like that sort of thing. Then, there's the Postcard collector's fair on Sunday at the Angel Centre from 10am to 4pm if you want to go and pay ten quid or more for an old photo of a long demolished Tonbridge shop or a macabre postcard of a mangled train wreck from the famous accident at the railway station in the steam days. Oh and my bookshop, Mr. Books will probably be open on Saturday and Sunday because there'll be so many people around I'd be a fool not to. I used to get paid by the Courier to write this kind of stuff! Looking forward to a nice sunny weekend, have fun at the fairs, or you could just stay in the garden....