Saturday, July 11, 2009
Blame it on the Boogie!...
Maybe I've been walking around in a dream world this last few months or has the annual Festival of Music and Fireworks, which is being held at Tonbridge Castle this weekend, not been as well publicised as it is normally? Anyway, it's probably not too late to go along there (surely it can't be a sell out at £27.50 a ticket can it?) tonight for, and I quote the Tonbridge Castle web site: "Summer Nights: The world's greatest rock and pop musicals in concert is back by popular demand! The greatest songs from classic rock 'n roll shows like Grease, Dirty Dancing, Buddy, Fame and Tommy. This show features six star performers from London's West End and is backed by a live seven-piece band. This selection of classic hits will have you dancing all night long!" Let's hope so at that price eh! Then tomorrow, and I may even go along to this there's: "New for 2009! THE MAGIC OF MOTOWN The stage show that's taken the country by storm is coming to town! A superbly talented cast bring to life the hits of the Four Tops, the Supremes, the Temptations, the Jacksons, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder and many more! One hit song after another will bring the festival to a close in this spectacular Queen's Award-nominated stage show celebrating the world's most popular record label - Tamala Motown." Unintentionally topical I'll wager, but this one probably will be sold out what with the Michael Jackson fever that has descended on us. I still have never been along to this festival in all the years it's been running and am always reminded that it's on when I hear the musicians rehearsing in the afternoons before the show, whilst I'm sitting quietly in my shop (a free show you might say!) and then when I'm falling asleep on the sofa around 10-45pm (if last night was anything to go by) the boom, boom, crack, bang, fizzle, fizz of the fireworks marking, presumably, the end of the show. Anyone been this year, what's the buzz like? I would go along only I might not be able to control my feet!...
Friday, July 10, 2009
Vic Reeves at At Gallery and Museum, Tunbridge Wells....
Good review on fellow local blog, Anke Tunbridge Wells, of the apparently rather bizzare art exhibition of comedian, Vic Reeves aka Jim Moir's, work entitle "The Natural History of Kent and Sussex Seen Through My Binoculars!"The man has a strange and brilliant comedic mind so I for one will be popping along at some point to see has weird and, no doubt wonderful, works. Got any booze fo' babby Vic?!...
Are police cars and ambulances (noise) polluting Tonbridge?...
Is it me or are there more police cars and ambulances tearing down Tonbridge High St. than ever! I've counted at least four this morning. Maybe its the stillness of the summer air which makes you notice them more. Maybe it's the Miami Vice-like sirens they use these days. They really do make you stop and look and get well clear of them, which I suppose is the point afterall. But do they have to be quite so intrusive? What was wrong with the good old fashion nee naw or indeed the Z-cars bell?! I'm not kidding I know of at least one family who used to live near the town centre, who actually left Tonbridge specifically because he and his wife had had enough of them. A bit drastic perhaps but that really was the reason this retired doctor gave for moving....
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Feeling like a number one!...
I like a nice tune now and again don't you. Soon, is it this weekend? the Tonbridge Festival of Music and Fireworks is on at the Castle. (Obviously we couldn't do without the fireworks now could we?!) If you're not around this weekend then you'll probable miss the strains of a bootleg Beatles or a Mama Mia Abba trubute band or perhaps a seventies specialist band called the Funking Bar Stewards (they're out there I promise you!) Freddie Mercury lookalikes, maybe that Michael Jackson lookylikey fellow. They may even throw in some classical numbers to make us all feel more high brow and cultural; and speaking of music, in an idle moment this morning, listening to some programme on radio 4, as I occasionally do, I suddenly realised that I didn't know what the number one hit record was when I was born. I can tell you that my daughter's was Barbie Girl, by Aqua and my son's was Boom Boom Shake the Room by DJ Jaffy and the Fresh Prince. I know this because I went out and bought the cds just so they'd have them to listen in stunned silence to when they're middle aged! But incredibly I never been bothered to find out my own. Now if I'd been born a week earlier the first number one song I'd have ever heard would have been "Wonderful Land" by The Shadows , which wouldn't have been so bad. A week later would have been really cool as The King, Elvis Presley was top of the charts with "Good Luck Charm" now that would have been something. Around at the time in May 1962 were a whole host of now famous blues singers like John Lee Hooker, the Beatles were just getting started, as were the Rolling Stones. So what was the number one, selling probably a million records, as you had to in those days to be the top selling single in the UK? It was "Nut Rocker" by B. Bumble and the Stingers (well all bands had stupid names in those days!) I'm afraid I can't say I'd ever heard of it either! I've listened to it on Spotify.com (which, by the way if you don't know, is a brilliant way of getting free music online, and it's legal!) and actually it's not that bad but an instrumental, so not even a few catchy lines to quote to you....
Tonbridge's first beer festival....
Quite a few people have commented about the South East Beer Festival, held in Tonbridge over the weekend. Some were impressed, some not so. I now feel ever so slightly guilty having not been able, not felt like, forgot, had something else on, had to finish my book, had to get the grass cut before it chucked down, had to phone my sister, had to sort the car out, and all those other excuses to go myself in the end. From what I saw though having peered behind the rugby club a couple of times it did look reasonably well attended, although that really is just a passer by's snap shot. I'm not quite sure how many people they expect at such events. Perhaps one comment on this post had it spot on when they said that it appeared to be a rugby club event. It was at the TJs clubhouse, the large marquee was pretty well hidden behind it and the posted had two rugby players passing a beer barrel to each other (instead of a ball, geddit?) which on reflection was a little confusing to the potential visitor. I know myself from organising book fairs and other cultural events in Tonbridge that it can be very difficult on a low PR and advertising budget, to get people their on the day, that said their are enough visitors usually to make these events work. Perhaps as the event gets more established there, if they decide to keep it at the Tonbridge Juddians clubhouse that is, and the organisers get the message across that it isn't just for rugger buggars, it will work much better. After all they couldn't have had better weather conditions. At the risk of being slated by Paul Bailey, a regular commenter on this blog and also a proper real ale connoiseur, I might also suggest that maybe just maybe though, thinking about it, many people prefer like me to drink gassy lager in hot weather, instaed of all that treacley and hoppy stuff. Or isthat a hangable offence in CAMRA circles!!..
Halfords electric bikes for a cleaner and greener Tonbridge....
I sent an email to Halfords a couple of weeks ago on the subject of why wasn't this leading retailer at the forefront of promoting and selling electric bikes (scroll down this page for earlier postings on the subject.) I had high hopes that they would drive this forward in response to a concerned customer's (me that is) view. This is the reply they sent me, which, as you can see by my reply back to them, that I was pretty unimpressed with their rather cold but polite, safe and non-commital response. Although Robin, in their customer services department, does offer me a glimmer of hope, saying that they have been testing some e-bikes recently, I really was hoping for a bit more from the number one bike retailer, Halfords, than this:
"Thank you for your email, and please accept my apologies for the delay in our response. In regards to your query, Halfords are constantly bringing out fantastic new products. I saw new Electric bikes being tested just last week here at Halfords. For all the latest available products please follow this link: http://www.halfords.com/ Kind Regards, Robin. Halfords Customer Services"
To which my response was:
"Hello, I was hoping for something a bit more than a fairly standard reply from you. My point is that Halfords, being one of the top bike sellers in Britain, should be leading from the front on this one and making affordable electric bikes available to all. Your company would undoubtedly be on to a winner as no other leading retailer is doing it yet. In any case when I searched on your web site it seems that Halfords do in fact sell some online, but curiously not in store where customers would actually be able to see them, sit on them, perhaps trial them. The environment and climate change is a serious issue, right at the heart of government thinking and electric bicyles have been recognised as an important part of the solution for transport in the next few decades. They are just far too expensive for most pockets, other than the early adopters and those committed to green issues, Best Regards..."
Will that make any difference? let's wait and see....
"Thank you for your email, and please accept my apologies for the delay in our response. In regards to your query, Halfords are constantly bringing out fantastic new products. I saw new Electric bikes being tested just last week here at Halfords. For all the latest available products please follow this link: http://www.halfords.com/ Kind Regards, Robin. Halfords Customer Services"
To which my response was:
"Hello, I was hoping for something a bit more than a fairly standard reply from you. My point is that Halfords, being one of the top bike sellers in Britain, should be leading from the front on this one and making affordable electric bikes available to all. Your company would undoubtedly be on to a winner as no other leading retailer is doing it yet. In any case when I searched on your web site it seems that Halfords do in fact sell some online, but curiously not in store where customers would actually be able to see them, sit on them, perhaps trial them. The environment and climate change is a serious issue, right at the heart of government thinking and electric bicyles have been recognised as an important part of the solution for transport in the next few decades. They are just far too expensive for most pockets, other than the early adopters and those committed to green issues, Best Regards..."
Will that make any difference? let's wait and see....
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Beer Festival in Tonbridge Now On....

Real ale fans may have spotted that there's Beer Festival on at the Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club this weekend. All w/e by the looks of it. There's a massive marquee at the back of the club house, looks very well organised from what I could see. Hoping to pay a visit there tomrrow to sample some of the fine and unusual selection of real ales and ciders. I'm leaving the car at home so there won't be any reason to go anywhere the wheel of my car! Judging by the poster (above) there are over 30 breweries there and over a hundred different beers. There's never any trouble at these largely middle class events but if there is then the rugby club boys will no doubt be on hand to nip it in the bud....
Friday, July 3, 2009
P Off again!...
I've said this before about the main Post Office on TonbridgeBlog but it needs saying again: STOP TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS WHEN I JUST WANT TO POST A PARCEL, PLEASE! I'm getting really sick of it. I have a credit card, but don't want another one, I'm sorted for household and motor insurance, I don't need travel insurance, I don't want another savings account, I'm happy with pay as you talk Vodafone for my mobile phone and I've got everything else you're trying to push on me. They'll be offering counselling services next! If I want any of these things I'll pick up a leaflet or make some enquiries myself or I'll ask you; afterall, in the queue, I've already seen that fat bloke from the TV programme, Early Doors, larking about on the instore screen while telling me about all these various fantastic services you offer. What I don't need is for some sheepish, embarrassed lady with zero sales ability to ask me questions she'd rather not, about products and services she doesn't really understand, and I'd rather not hear about. It's tantamount to hassling and abusing their captive audience of mainly middle aged and older folk, it's too pushy and it needs to stop. I'm going to get a big badge designed to wear every time I go into Tonbridge PO saying: REGULAR CUSTOMER, PLEASE DON'T TRY TO SELL ME ANYTHING OTHER THAN A STAMP! It wouldn't be so bad if I had a realistic choice of going to another post office, like Olive's shop which they closed down about a year ago along with all the other sub POs which actually used to offer you a good service rather than try to milk you dry. So my message to Adam Crozier, CEO of The Royal Mail, ex-Chief Executive of The Football Association, and employer of Sven 'The Philanderer' Goran Erickson, ex-MD of Saatchi and Saatchi advertising agency, ex-Daily Telegraph Advertising Sales Executive, where, allegedly, he was sacked for cooking the books and favouring a certain big ad agency, Saatchi & Saatchi with whom he, oh let's see, walked into a job shortly after this incident. Funny that! It's all on Google! (Yes he was a much younger man then but it showed what lengths this man would go to get on in business) is stop trying to milk us dry we've had enough of it!....
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Hot summer nights, alcohol and swimming in rivers just don't mix....
Driving through Tonbridge High Street, late last night (around midnight) there were two Police cars and an ambulance parked next to the town bridge and a small crowd of young people were gathered peering over into the water. I do hope it's not another tragic incident involving young folk having a few too many drinks on a hot summer's evening, thinking they're invincible, wanting to cool off, wanting to show off, and then getting int difficulty in the river, with terrible consequences. I don't know if that has happened, but I wouldn't be at all surprised since it has happened about every three years since I've lived in Tonbridge. It will be a terribly sad sight to see yet more flowers tied to the railings on that bridge, from which some say the town gets its name. I know it's hardly worth even uttering, but when will they learn? We're a pretty robust lot us humans, in the main, but sometimes I wonder how any of us manage to reach the age of thirty....
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
"Fire" wins Sports Day on scorcher....
I watched my daughter pick up a clutch of rosettes at the Slade school sports day yesterday afternoon. The poor kids had to do around 8 events each which included skipping, hooplaaing, football, dribbling skills, hockey stick dribbling skills and then lots of running races, which, lets face it, are the main reason most parents go along. I say rosettes because these days the prizes are stickers in the shape of a rosette, but let's not split hairs! At the risk of sounding obvious, what a scorcher! my goodness it was hot out on that field; still at least the children got to sit in the shade inbetween events while us poor parents had to endure sitting around on the grass, cheering and clapping (exhausting things like that) in the full heat of the day! Mrs Resche, the head teacher at Slade, was doing a wonderful job, marshalling, announcing, sirening (for the change of events) and generally keeping things ticking along in her usual amazingly cheerful way. Towards the end when the teams' scores were being totted up the call came for the older brothers and sisters race, then...the parents race! I thought they'd stopped doing these add on races these days so I came totally unprepared! I was persauded, not that I needed much persauding, to have a go so off I went, adrenaline pumping to the start line! Now I did used to be a bit nippy in my rugby playing days, even though I say so myself, but it has been quite a few years since I've really sprinted flat out, let alone in a race. I looked round at the other competitive dads, who were mostly younger than me (when the heck did that happen!) a couple of them wearing suit trousers, but most in shorts because of the weather. One guy was taking the race far too seriously as he went, Zola Bud style, bare foot to the start line, rolling up his shirt sleeves as he did! It could be that he had been wearing flip flops but I think that this was his secret weapon! No time to go home to search in the loft for my old running spikes, so I just simply took all the stuff out of my pockets, you know wallet, mobile phone, loose change, car keys, shop keys, house keys (all the stuff that weighs us all down in our adult lives!) then started to limber up, stretched the calf muscles, pulled my foot up behind my bum for the quad stretches, wheeled my shoulders and arms around a few times, (well at my age you can't take any chances with pulled muscles can you) more adrenalin pumping and we were off.... Poor start, around 90 kids, egged on by my daughter, were shouting "Come on Mr. Books" (I kid you not!) as I struggled to keep up with the rest of the field in the first 50 metres. Then something happened inside me (no I didn't need the toilet) I'm talking about the zone! I felt a little bit of the mist that only comes with total focus and concentration, something I haven't felt in a long while, come over me as I kicked into another gear. I pulled past the stragglers, then the third placed athlete with the bare feet, then the second lanky one, who'd tried to fool us all that he was old and past it, then the first place was in my peripheral vision on the far side of the track, this guy was fast, he must have been a county standard sprinter at some point, or at any rate he was a good twenty years younger than me! I was really flying by this time myself as a dug deep and reached inside myself for one last surge of energy, ah....then the tape, I'd only come second! But do you know what, with another twenty metres I reckon I'd have had him! I always did have a slow start and was much better at 200 hundred and 400. For a fleeting moment I thought of raising a stewards inquiry for, surely, the guy who won was too young to be in the dad's race! Surely you have to be over forty to really qualify these days! Still second wasn't so bad for an old git like me and there's always the egg and spoon race next year! The children seemed to be having a fantastic day, especially the ones who won lots of prizes and the school reintroduced a house system this year to bring back that competitive element with the names being based, the children's choice, on the natural elements. The red team "Fire" (pictured) narrowing won the day over "Earth" and lifted the trophy ("Water" were still running behind!; quite appropriate really that fire should win on such a scorching hot day....
Saturday, June 27, 2009
A night out on the town....In West Malling!...
Being as we live in the borough of Tonbridge and MALLING and I have an old pal who lives over at the King's Hill development, I thought, just for once, I'll have a night out in West Malling and why not! The truth is, partly anyway, it was my wife's turn to host her book club meeting and I couldn't face being a spare part in my own house all evening; and also it was high time my mate and I got together for a good old chat over a pint. I didn't mind being driver for the evening either as, in this hot weather, I often drink pints of ice cold weak lager shandy as I find they hit the spot perfectly and quench my thirst. So off I went to pick my mate up from his posh pad on the King's Hill Estate; I nearly bought a house there about ten years ago when it was still mostly a building site and sometimes wish I had since ME19, I learnt last night, is officially the most wealthy post code in the country. (Although how they worked that one out is a debate for another time.) Driving through the gates of the ME19 estate these days is like passing through into a parallel world; a world of Premier League footballers, and asset managers, golfers and squash players, stock brokers and business owners. I'm not saying it's exclusive there but even the Fire Station is ex-directory! We didn't go to the estate's only pub, The Spitfire, which on previous experience I remember as being pretty souless, choosing instead to go into the busy metropolis of West Malling! I'll be honest and say that although I was looking forward to spending some time with my old university buddy I was slightly dreading being stuck in a sleepy little boozer in the backwater of West Malling! How wrong could I have been! Maybe because it was a balmy summer evening, maybe because I need to get out more, but there seemed to me to be a fantastic atmosphere in the town centre of Tonbridge's step-sister town. Lads and lasses, young and old, many dressed up like they were on a night out in Southend, some, like me, wearing jeans and T-shirts spilled out in their hundreds onto the pavements outside the two oldy worldy inns on the High Street; I can't really comment on the quality of the beer or the price of it for that matter, since I was on the shandies all night, but what I do know is that I was very pleasantly surprised and will definitely go back for more. I couldn't help but make comparisons with going out in Tonbridge town centre with it's busy narrow road preventing any safe al fresco drinking, its blaring police and ambulance sirens disturbing the peaceful evening air. West Malling has the old fashioned village atmosphere of the Five Pointed Star and the Bull Inn, Tonbridge has the large-chain pub, plastic experience of The Slug and Lettuce and Weatherspoons that's about it. Rather sad really when you think how good it could be....
Friday, June 26, 2009
Five Grand on a bookcase!...
TonbridgeBlog never had many, if any, doubts about you Sir John! But even so it's good to have it confirmed that you are indeed "Squeaky clean" as the Kent and Sussex Courier reported today, echoeing the same phrase this blog used some weeks ago. Unless of course you consider £998.75 on plastic folders to house over 10,000 letters a year a vice, or £200 on a mattress, or £40 on a garment rail. In fact The Right Hon. Sir John Stanley, Tory MP for Tonbridge and Malling, claims that he is makes the lowest allowances claim in Kent. Good on you I say cos that's how it should be. Good job he wasn't anything like neighbouring MP for Tunbridge Wells, Greg Clark, who claimed over £6,000 for a, get this, training course in Parliamentary Speaking! It beggars belief, surely he should be paying for that himself, if it's to further his own career. Or MP for Sevenoaks, Michael Fallon, who appears to have got carried away shopping when he claimed over £5,000 for having a bookcase fitted to house his monthly copies of the paliamentary log, Hansard. Should have gone to Ikea Mr. Fallon, I managed to fit out a whole bookshop for less than £2,000, shelves which house around 15,000 books! Hansard is an incredibly boring read anyway, try the new Victoria Hislop novel instead, far more gripping and stop trying to rip off the tax payer, we're hard up enough as it is!...
TonbridgeBlog refused service in the new Tonbridge pound shop!...
Hopefully this article won't start a tirade of negative comments but that's a risk I'll have to take. Yes it's a shame that Woollies is no more, but that's hardly the new enterprising owners fault now is it. No doubt they won't be paying full whack for the lease but good luck to them for being able to negotiate it, albeit only until September from what TonbridgeBlog hears. There I was walking past the shop this morning without really the time to go in and have a good look; so I thought that I'd just pop in to see if it was as bad as some people, including some commenters on this blog, had made out. Ok it wasn't Harrods, or even M&S for that matter, alright not even Robert Dias but was it really all that bad? Any worse than Poundstretcher? or those other cheapo shops down most High Streets these days? They have actually got hundreds, if not thousands of different lines, mostly for a quid! It's almost impossible to go in there and not buy something. I had absolutely no intention of spending anything at all in there and even a tight sod like me still came out minus a fiver. So I won't go in there every day or even every week, but shops like these do have their place; and anyway where are the up market retailers queueing up to take on the Woolworth's lease? It'll probably be quite a few years before that happens. What did I buy? well, very boring, but I needed some bubble envelopes for the shop. In the Post Office, where I bought some recently, a pack of 5 will set you back £3.59. In Woollies Pound Emporium they were, yes you've guessed it, one pound. There is a PS to this story and it's a good job I don't embarrass easily: when I handed over my tenner to pay I was met with a "Sorry Sir but we can't take this!" on closer inspection I'd tried to pay with an old style, out of date £10 illegal note. So that's it, the slippery slope: I've been refused service in the Tonbridge pound shop!!..
TonbridgeBlog joins in live debate with Ed Milliband on Climate Change....
My latest posting on twitter is in response to a Downing Street twitter, or tweet as they're known, inviting people to join in a live debate about climate change. I think I'm becoming obsessed with electric bikes because I cannot stop banging on about them now! Any bike shops out there who want me to test ride one, please feel free, I won't be shy or embarrassed about it and will give a full and honest account of my extended road test; let's say I keep the e-bike for about a year to be going on with! Anyway this is what I sent to Ed Milliband via Twitter (remember you have to fit your tweet into a max of 140 characters; by the wayI managed, rather skilfully to do that exactly in this case as it happens! so it concentrated the mind to be succinct and to the point, unlike here)
"@DowningStreet Why doesn't Mr. Milliband spearhead a drive to get people to take to electric bikes. V. clean & green, but far too expensive!"
"@DowningStreet Why doesn't Mr. Milliband spearhead a drive to get people to take to electric bikes. V. clean & green, but far too expensive!"
Tonbridge Gassers and Rubber Fanciers anyone?!
There are many events going on at the Angel Centre across the Summer months. Masses for the kids if you want to get shot of them in the school holidays! Masses for flower arrangers and decorative/fine artists, society's for older folk wanting to find themselves in their retirement (U3A) and why not?! There are post card fairs, record collector fairs, stamp fairs, you name it. There's even a club with the rather suspiciously name Tonbridge Gassers and Rubber Fanciers! I kid you not. They claim to be a model aircraft society but I'm not going to risk going to one of their meetings to find out! There's bound to be a club or society right up your street so if you want to take a closer look and can't be bothered to walk or cycle along on your electric bike to the Angel Centre's reception desk then you can see the online leaflet here. It could be the start of something new in your life. Now I'm starting to sound like an advertisement for Tonbridge Council leisure services!...
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Why no electric bikes Halfords?!..
Not wishing to go on about electric bikes too much here is a copy of the email I've just sent to Halfords having looked at their web site and been surprised that they don't appear to sell ANY electric bikes:
"Hello, I'm suprised to see that Halfords aren't at the forefront in driving forward electric bike sales. Surely these machines are a major part of the future solution to transport problems in Europe and the wider world. Are there any plans in the pipeline at Halfords to sell an affordable, good looking, light weight, longer range selection of e-bikes? People who live in hilly areas would be encouraged to ride more without dreading having to struggle up those steeper ones, school children would be attracted to them giving them greater independence, commuters would love them and would get to work quicker and cheaper, town centres would eventually be unblocked as riders see the benefits of not sitting for hours wasting their lives in traffic jams. What's not to like?! But they need to be affordable! I'd love to hear your views,
Best Regards
Bookshop Owner, Commuter, Loyal Halfords Customer, Leisure Cyclist, Ex-Motorcylist, concerned about the environment."
"Hello, I'm suprised to see that Halfords aren't at the forefront in driving forward electric bike sales. Surely these machines are a major part of the future solution to transport problems in Europe and the wider world. Are there any plans in the pipeline at Halfords to sell an affordable, good looking, light weight, longer range selection of e-bikes? People who live in hilly areas would be encouraged to ride more without dreading having to struggle up those steeper ones, school children would be attracted to them giving them greater independence, commuters would love them and would get to work quicker and cheaper, town centres would eventually be unblocked as riders see the benefits of not sitting for hours wasting their lives in traffic jams. What's not to like?! But they need to be affordable! I'd love to hear your views,
Best Regards
Bookshop Owner, Commuter, Loyal Halfords Customer, Leisure Cyclist, Ex-Motorcylist, concerned about the environment."
Is the electric bicycle the future of transport in Tonbridge....
Thinking about buying an electric bike. I've had this in the back of my mind for quite some time now as I'm pretty convinced that they are part of the future of transport. They're clean and green, they encourage people to leave their cars at home without the dread of getting up those steep hills (Quarry Hill in my case) they are virtually noiseless; in fact, for town use they're as ideal a mode of transport as you can get in my opinion. With the introduction of some very sporty looking fold up models they are becoming a real solution to transport headaches everywhere. So why not for Tonbridge? The power assist variety allows you to pedal but with the major advantage of being able to glide your way up steep hills with far less effort than the pedal only bikes. So what's holding me back getting one if they're so good. Mainly the price tag. Electric bikes are still pricey at around £750 even for the budget options, the latest ones, with quicker charging batteries and better looking frames can be over £1,500. Compare that with that beautiful lightweight Marin Moutain bike in Cycles UK I've had my eye on for a while at about £350, which seems expensive in itself for a bike these days. I suppose if you look at electric bikes as being cheapish motor bikes then that price tag wouldn't hurt so much; but if you compare them with the cost of a pedal bike then they are still far too expensive for most pockets, including mine. Why can't the Goverment, who claim to be promoting all things green, get right behind them as a project, support British companies to supply them and give real incentives to buy them. That way the cost of them would come right down as more and more would be produced, bringing production costs down to sensible levels. I hear that there might actually be a move to have them reclassified and impose road tax on e-bikes which would have, disastrously, the opposite effect and make them less desireable and less affordable. Also there are many improvements to battery range, charging times and stability and weight still to be introduced before I'm prepared to part with my cash. Having said that just picture the scene in the not too distant future: a visitor coming to Tonbridge sees the queue of traffic and thick smog all along Tonbridge High Street. He (or she) diverts to one of the new Park and Ride sites over on Canon Lane and at Mabeldon and Shipbourne Road on the outskirts of town. He parks up and within a couple of minutes is whizzing effortlessly into the town centre on their snazzy new electric hybrid pedal assist folding sports bike laughing at the stressed out car drivers, who are still snaking their way along the High Street in the hopeless belief that they'll still be able to get a parking space at Tonbridge Sainsbury's. So there you have it my new business idea: Mr. E-Bikes!...
And they say advertising doesn't work....
I'm not saying that ads can't be annoying and intrusive, judging by some of the comments already made on TonbridgeBlog (and to my face) some of you don't like it. But one of the advertisers on this site has already got some business. FROM ME! Yes, I've been looking for a supplier of environmentally friendly cotton bags for my shop on and off for the last two years or more. Then up pops an advertisement for Stuart Morris, supplier of tea towels for schools, T Shirts, mugs and, you've guessed it, cotton bags. I went to their web site, picked up the phone and enquired about their bags and very helpful they were too. I'm about to order at least a hundred of their shoulder bags, with a view to ordering many more in the future. So you see advertising can and does have its uses!...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Is TonbridgeBlog at the top of a very slippery slope?!..
Yes some bright sparks have already picked up that TonbridgeBlog is carrying advertising for the first time ever! I do feel like a bit of a fraud actually having been quite evangelical about not carrying the beastly interferring things, which constantly pop out at you and flicker at you, making you lose....concentration, but hey ho! It's just an experiment so expect to see a few different formats in the next few days and weeks from banners and skyscrapers to buttons and pop outs; half banners, squares, small rectangular shaped ones, colourful ones and text only ones. They may all be there. Why though after all this time of resisting the urge?? Well partly out of sheer curiousity to see how it all works, afterall TonbridgeBlog did come from an advertising background, as some of you may know, a tiny bit to see if I can generate a bit of revenue from it (although I'm doubtful on that one) and partly because Google do everything for you, so I don't have to be bothered with any admin or chasing up of ad copy etc. The technology is there so why not use it? Anyway like I said, only an experiment at the moment. Good idea or is TonbridgeBlog at the top of a very slippery slope??..
In search of the perfect pint in Tonbridge....
It seems that we have another Tonbridge blogger among us. Paul Bailey has formed a breakaway blog called, rather self explanatorily (if that's a word) Paul Bailey's Beer Blog. I've a sneaking feeling that this man used to run the Cask and Glass down Priory Street which was a really nice idea and a product of a lifetime passion for, well, beer. The usp (to use the marketing jargon) of the Cask and Glass was that they served well kept real ales and cider on draft so that the customer could taste the various, ever changing guest beers, you know Harvey's, Larkins, Chiddingston Ciders, Ramsbottom Sheep Dippper, that kind of stuff, then choose a couple or four pints of the one they like the most (if they weren't already half-cut from the tasting that is! The idea obviously appealed to the current owners as they bought Mr. Bailey out when he decided to get a proper job and get his evenings back, and not only that they've now expanded the concept to another shop in Hastings. I'm sure that the idea is probably an old idea rehashed, but nevertheless a very successful formula when done well and Paul certainly did it well. He's even building a mini brewery in a large shed in his back garden for goodness sakes. You'll have got the idea by now: Paul knows what he's on about when it comes to beer. So if sunny evenings out walking through the glorious rolling Kent countryside as an excuse to find the Holy Grail of the perfect village pub pint is what appeals to you then have a look at his blog....
Saturday, June 20, 2009
What to do on a sunny Fathers Father's Fathers' Day....
Get planning those barbeques for these long early summer evenings because we're in for some lovely summer weather by the look of it. At least, that is, if this ten day forecast on weather.com is anything to go by. That's what I've got planned for Fathers Day a burger, king prawn and tuna barbe, washed down with some tins of Australian lager and a few glasses of Cab Sauv. Before that I might just go for a longish bike ride or a walk across the beautiful Kent countryside. After that I'll probably just collapse in the chair and let the kids do all the work just for once. I used to think that Fathers Day was just a load of commercial nonesense but as I get older I'm getting the hang of it! Incidentally why is it Fathers Day and not Father's Day or even Fathers' Day??..
Friday, June 19, 2009
Tonbridge Arts Festival meeting on Monday anyone?...
There's a little plot being hatched to hold a literary festival in Tonbridge. It's something I've been thinking about organising even before Mr. Books was born. Trouble is that's pretty much all I did, think about it that is. Oh and I did talk about it a bit as well! Now a small group from West Kent College have got some heads together, including mine, a few from WKC, Tonbridge School, the library, the Council, and some local business people and are actually doing more than just talking about it. The event is likely to be extended to be a full blown Arts Festival, rather than just a Lit Fest and to take place in October 2010. It's still very much early days in the planning process but there is an open meeting about it this coming Monday June 22nd at the Angel Centre Riverside Suite from 6 to 8-30pm. So if you have any strong views on what sort of event Tonbridge deserves and maybe you'd like to help out by getting involved in some way then now's your chance. Let's put Tonbridge on the map by building a festival on the scale and with the reputation of Hay on Wye, which attracts 500 authors from all over the world, has top of the bill musicians and comedians performing and host talks by the likes of Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and Desmond Tutu. See you there....
Ivy House poetry nights? "Sorry about that!"
The Ivy House Dining Room and Bar don't want to host Poetry at the Pub anymore. Their manager simply gave me a very curt "We're now a dining area in here (the old main bar area which used to house the poetry nights) we're not looking for just people drinking anymore..." I told him that the nights used to regularly attract over 30 people on an otherwise quiet night for the pub. "Sorry about that!" was his equally curt reply, as he rushed off to serve the three occupied dining tables. There seemed no point in trying to persaude him so off I toddled with me tail between me legs! So it's off to find another venue so that hopefully Poetry at the Pub can live again. Such a shame though really cos let's face it they're not going to fill the place out every night with "diners" are they? thirty people x 3 to four drinks each on average that's around £4,200 he's just lost across the year! Worth thinking about in these straitened times? Apparently not!...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Follow TonbridgeBlog Twitter updates!...
At the risk of sounding pretentious: Follow my Twitter updates at http://twitter.com/TonbridgeBlog
Today's posts: I dream in emails and worn out phrases! Not my words but those of Tonbridge band Keane. Can't stop playing "Pretend That You're Alone" today.
Poetry at the pub nights to start again soon in Tonbridge. Please spread the word and let me know if interested. See www.mrbooks.co.uk
@camdenlockbooks trouble is they can get our discounts usually elsewhere. Tricky one!
@iaindale shouldn't a Speaker be able to, well, speak. I'd have thought that it kinda went with the territory!
In a report on unusual museums in UK: Leeds Castle, Kent. A collection of dog collars, mostly dating from the Middle Ages (no dogs admitted)
Today's posts: I dream in emails and worn out phrases! Not my words but those of Tonbridge band Keane. Can't stop playing "Pretend That You're Alone" today.
Poetry at the pub nights to start again soon in Tonbridge. Please spread the word and let me know if interested. See www.mrbooks.co.uk
@camdenlockbooks trouble is they can get our discounts usually elsewhere. Tricky one!
@iaindale shouldn't a Speaker be able to, well, speak. I'd have thought that it kinda went with the territory!
In a report on unusual museums in UK: Leeds Castle, Kent. A collection of dog collars, mostly dating from the Middle Ages (no dogs admitted)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
And my favourite Tonbridge Carnival picture....
Tonbridge Carnival in Pictures....
Sunday, June 14, 2009
What do you mean you missed the Tonbridge Carnival!
The crowd of at least 10,000 lined Tonbridge High Street in the glorious June sunshine as they patiently awaited the annual procession, to be followed by a fete on the Castle lawn. There was a real atmosphere of people eager out to enjoy themselves this year, you could almost feel it in the air. Perhaps the last year of economic doom and gloom has had an effect on everyone and a good excuse to let rip and enjoy themselves was very welcome and timely. It's all quiet in the streets now but only half an hour ago I was stood near the Big Bridge snapping away on my camera phone as each band, each wacky float went by. At first I thought that it was going to be a bit of an anti climax as Tonbridge's very own Cheryl Baker, which anyone over forty can just about remember from that Eurovision band Fiz Bucks or something! I thought for a split second, Oh no! is that the best Tonbridge can muster? But it certainly wasn't as I was very pleasantly surprised, amused, and entertained by marching bands of, I might add, a much higher standard than usual, music, local school children proudly displaying their school colours, Tonbridge Angels chanting and dribbling along the road, theatre groups, even a lifesize Buzz Lightyear stepping into infinity (and beyond) majorettes and twirlers aplenty, men on stilts, karate displays (pretty tricky on the march, I'd imagine!) mad Irish dancers and lepracorns singing about St. Patrick's Day (Why?!) and not forgetting the Tonbridge Lion, he always has to get in right at the end. I thoroughly enjoyed it and am now off to the Castle to watch some bands playing and dancers dancing. I might even let my hair down and have a beer or two. Where are the pictures I hear you all ask? Well, you'll just have to wait a day or so as I forgot to bring the little memory stick thingy device which helps me upload (or is it download?!) onto me computer. I can't be perfect all the time you know....
Tonbridge Carnival anyone?...
Tonbridge Carnival procession will start in about twenty minutes so you'll have to be very quick if you don't want to miss those majorettes and twirlers! Don't worry though cos the carnival atmosphere will continue for the rest of the day on the Castle lawn. Worth a trip if you're not doing anything else exciting. Mr. Books will also be open all afternoon. What on a Sunday?! It is you know. So come on down!...
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Buying a house in Tonbridge anyone?...
A while ago someone flattered me, and slightly freaked me out at the same time, by saying that this blog was the reason she and her boyfriend had decided to move to Tonbridge. Yes it did really happen, I don't make this stuff up you know! Well if there's anyone else out there reading this and looking for a totally unbiased opinion about this town of ours don't let this YouTube clip of the flooded park near the swimming pool put you off. It only happens about twice a year and that flood barrier up river at Leigh is sure to hold off the worst. Isn't it?! Maybe be cautious and don't by a new house on the flood plain.... What's that you say they're all on the flood plain. Oh Dear. Gulp or should that be Glug!...
Would you pay £28k for one of these masterpieces?...

Some of you may recall seeing a large hairy gentleman appearing on that BBC programme Dragons Den, where a diverse cluster of business people have to pitch an idea to five "Dragons" who will only part with their real cash if they think the proposition is sound and that there's something in it for them. This man actually persauded the Dragons in the den to part with, from memory, £90,000! That man was none other than Tonbridge Sculptor Guy Portelli who produces a weird (and wonderful) range of sculptures that he calls his pop icon collection. He's been reported on quite a bit both nationally and extensively in local rags and you may have seen him around town. Of course he has a web site (doesn't everyone?!) and there's already a link to it on the left of this page. I particularly like the John Lee Hooker and the John Lennon pieces; they all definitely have something quirky and intersting about them and I'd definitely give them house room, if I had the room in my house. Just one thing though Mr. Portelli: I seem to remember that you told Duncan Ballatine, or was it David Khan or that sour faced blond, woman whose name escapes me, that each one sells for around £28,000. And you said it with a straight face. Now were you 'avin a giraffe to hoodwink those Dragons (who deserve to be hoodwinked in my humble opinion) or is that really true?...
It's not big and it's not clever!...
Now I'd like to talk about a very serious matter indeed. Some young men, and you know who you are, have been up to no good last night riding a certain old bike up and down the High Street in the early hours. A very kind man in his mid twenties, who'd obviously been out on the raz last night himself judging by his dischevelled appearance, came into my shop just now and asked if I'd lost a bike. I didn't realise I had as actually I'd forgotten to put the Mr. Books delivery bike away last night. (Normally she's tucked away safely in the shop.) Now TonbrigeBlog doesn't mind a bit of high jinx on a warm summer evening, but boys did you really have to rip the G-lock off and cause damage to the bike, not to mention losing one of the pedals, which admittedly was loose anyway? Come on lads, how I am I going to make those book deliveries now without me faithful old butchers bike?! It's the first time it's happened in over four years so I suppose I had it coming. I'm particularly annoyed because I was going to ride it in the Tonbridge Carnival tomorrow along the High Street, I guess the young scallies spilling out of SOS, or wherever they'd been, got there first and decided to do a dress rehearsal! And I suppose you all think it's all very amusing.... PS if anyone does find an old looking pedal in the High Street area you know where to bring it....
Parish Church Summer Fete today....
And if you want to get in the mood for the Tonbridge Carnival tomorrow then you could always stroll down to the Parish Church in the centre of Tonbridge old town where they'll be holding their Summer Fete today from 2 till 4-30pm. Craft stalls, cakes, tombolas and throw squashed tomotoes and wet sponges at the vicar will probably be the order of the day!...
Kelly the shooting star....
If you do make the effort to go to the Tonbridge Carnival Procession on Sunday from 1pm who knows you may even be rewarded and catch a glimpse of our very own Dame Kelly Holmes. Here is the double Olympic Gold winning local hero making a sneaky appearance a couple of years ago much to the delight of the thousands of Tonbridge folk lining the road side. Incidentally Kelly has a childrens book out called Katy the Shooting Star about a scruffy cat down on its luck who rises up to become a winner (sound familiar?!) and she may be coming along to the West Kent Book Fair in Tonbridge later this year to launch the second instalment. So put October 25th in your diary if that floats your boat....
The twirlers are back!...
It the Tonbridge Carnival tomorrow in case you didn't know. I'm pretty sure that it leaves Brook Street, near Judd School, at 1pm. I can't wait to see the martial arts demonstrations, men on stilts, scout and boys brigade bands, local school floats, drama and music clubs making fools of themselves (all in a good cause) and not forgetting those Tonbridge Twirlers! See you all there....
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Taxi to the Newsnight Studios please!...
I think the phrase is OH MY GOD! BBC Newsnight have just phoned me completely out of the blue to ask if I can make it to their studios to talk about the death of local newspapers caused by the rise of local blogs. They have obviously had a gander at TonbridgeBlog and decided that it's a good example so I suppose I should feel slightly flattered. They are probabbly right in their hypothesis that the days of local rags are numbered and that now everyone in the community can be roving reporters ever in search of gossip and policemen tripping over in the street to capture for ever and put in cyberspace. If only I'd been passing armed with my camera phone when the Tonbridge Job, at the Securitas depot, was done a fews years back! The possibility of you or I being able to capture those kind of events is increasingly likely with the rise of digital cameras and mobile internet technology. You see all I have to do is see it or think about it, then I can almost immediately type out a story based loosely on the facts and it's right there on TBlog for the whole world to see. Can the Courier do that? Or would they have to be called out from the luxury (and dryness) of their cosy offices several miles away from the action, interview people while making shorthand notes in their little pads, then go back to the office, take most of the rest of the day to formulate their report and commit it to computer. (I sound a bit like an updated 1970s advert for SMASH, the instant mash potatoe.) Then the sub editors get their hands on it and pull it around, tweaking the odd word here and there, so that it only loosely resembles the original piece, then the over all Editor may have to finally approve it. Then they have to wait maybe another five days until the report actually appears in the paper, by which time it's probably completely out of date anyway, the news having moved on to a completely different agenda. Certainly I think local newspapers are dying a slow death, it's inevitable, you can't turn back the technology clock. But then again so are national newspapers, magazines, television and radio, desktop computers themselves, which made all these things possible in the first place. Books I have deliberately chosen not to mention. They of course are here to stay! Did I agree to go to the Newsnight studios? Actually no, but only because I didn't want to disappoint the good people of Tonbridge by closing down the bookshop all day for ten minutes in a Shepherds Bush Studio. Now I'm starting to slightly regret that decision. I'm stepping outside my shop. Taxi!!!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
That's the wonder of good old...Poundstretcher!...
Some of you have commented that TonbridgeBlog hasn't mentioned the stirrings at the old Woolworth shop on Tonbridge High Street. Yes I have noticed the arrival of some stock in there. It looks like an extension of Poundstretcher from near the Rway station. I'd guess that they are moving, if temporarily, to take advantage of th bigger premises and slightly better location. It never ceases to amaze me just how many people need cheap plastic storage boxes though! It's probably not the sort of shop that many in Tonbridge would like to see, but we're far from being the only High Street that this is happening to. The reality is that, for the time being at least, value for money is what sells....
Is Sir John Stanley squeaky clean??..
I couldn't help but notice during the politicians expenses scandal that information about Sir John Stanley's expenses claims was noticeable in it's absence. Does this mean our long-standing erstwhile MP is squeaky clean? Or could it be that the Daily Telegraph still has more dirt to dig? We'd like to think it's the former wouldn't we? Come on Sir John, if you're out there, speak up and tell us all where you stand....
Ststststop ddddigging outside my shshshop pppplease!...
I cccccan hardly hhhhhear myself think and my bbbbbbbooks are shshshshshaking on their shelves as some men from South East Water are digging up the road right outside Mr. BBBBBBooks shop. My God it's almost dddddeafening. Apparently there's a water leak under there somewhere. I'm nnnnnnnot sure they've considered the cccccconsequences if the buses and lorries cccome down here and cccan't get by their ffffflippin great hole!....
Friday, June 5, 2009
Vote for the Lines and Signs Party!...
As I went to vote last night around 8pm on Pembury Road I noticed two Civil Enforcement Officers (formerly known as Traffic Wardens) leaning on the wall outside. I joked with them to stop intimidating voters by looking menacing outside the polling station but actually they were, for once you might say, being helpful by directing traffic to park ON double yellow lines. Let me explain: they had coned off a small section of the curb next to the Baptist Chapel, which had become a polling station for the day, so that people voting who were too lazy or unable to walk could go and exercise their democatic right to put some crosses in boxes next to people's names they'd never heard of before. Very nice of them, those nice council employees! As I walked out having used up my floating votes for another (two) elections I joshed with them that I'd voted for the Lines and Signs Monster Raving Parking Attendant Party. Oh how we all chuckled!!..
Modernist meets Medieval!...
As promised here is a pic of the new possibly £squillion+ extention of the Castle. Well it was a little too 1980s in that Tourist Information Centre so you can understand why the Council felt the need to squander, sorry wisely spend, the budget can't you! It's sort of modernist meets medieval if that's possible. What do you all reckon?...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Warning to all real ale fans....
I'm no architect but....
...has everyone seen the new extension to Tonbridge Castle. Apart from the budget for this which must be a million squid or so (significant, perhaps even unnecessary in these straitened times some might argue) I'm not sure that a fairly modern, cutting edge design like this is sympathetic to a medieval, Norman inspired, stone castle. I may warm to it but that was my first impression. I'll get some pics on the TBlog soon so you can all give me your opinions....
Green bags update....
TonbridgeBlog thought it was too good to be true. It turns out that Associated Packaging of Canon Lane, Tonbridge don't, as I'd been led to believe, supply bags made from recycled paper. Also their biodegradable bags are just that but they are not compostable bags, that is to say they cannot be just put on the compost heap like the sample bags I've received from the London Bio Packaging Company, which they claim are made from plant matter and are not oil based like other plastics. I wouldn't have known that there was any difference before this excercise but, it seems, the difference is huge. So I'm almost back to square one in that I cannot source anything locally unless Associated Packaging order in a couple of pallet loads from LBP (which to be fair they still might.) I'm staggered actually that it is this difficult to try and be green and do my bit for the environment. I understand now what that Al Gore was banging on about in the eco film, Inconvienient Truth, (watch it if you haven't already) for it really is inconvenient to go out of your way just to get some bags or stationary or whatever else. The other inconvenience is that even when you find a company which can supply the packaging, like London Bio Packaging, they are roughly four times more expensive than the non bio, and arguably stronger, equivalent. Small wonder then that most businesses just don't bother. I'm teetering on the edge of just simply not bothering but I'm also slightly inclined towards spearheading a national campaign to use green bags. I can feel something stirring inside me, could be wind but I think it's more than that this time....
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tonbridge Greenlinks directory anyone?...
Although the previous article indicates that I'm somewhat cynical about some of these Green initiatives, TonbridgeBlog actually thinks that having a Greenlinks Directory is a pretty good idea. Does it really have to be in paper format though? Probably not, given the impact on the environment. So here's your chance, businesses of Tonbridge, Tunbridge Wells and the rest of West Kent. Show off your green credentials by commenting below and I'll post a link to each web site deemed worthy enough and not just green wash. It's worth a shot and could actually be the start of something worthwhile!...
Little Green Bags!...
After having gone to a talk hosted by the Gaia Parnership at the Hay Festival (as one does!) which was all about eco greenish issues and saving the planet by all of us working together as one world in harmony, I decided to do something about my stationary and paper bag suppliers for my business. I must confess that before this I didn't have a clue whether my bags were made of recycled paper or if they were biodegradable or from sustainable forest sources, not a clue. I seized the initiative and telephoned one of the numbers in the "Greenlinks Directory" which I'd picked up at Hay on Wye. The company in question, Reprodux Design and Print of Hereford, who made all sorts of bold claims in their literature about recycled papers and vegetable based inks, said that they couldn't supply bags and told me to "Google it" to find out. Not really what I was hoping to hear I must say. But I pressed on, spending some considerable time going out of my way in my determination to do my bit and make a difference. After having left messages with the Green Party and a host of other organisations I ended up talking to the Soil Association to find out who supplies their Organic Food generic bags and was told of two more companies who were manufacturers of these type of bags. I honestly was amazed at how much effort was required to find the answer to the fairly simple question of where I could get hold of those little green bags. To cut a very long story short, through this rather circuitous route, I found out about and have now arranged to see a company called Associated Packaging, who have a range of biodegradable carrier bags and recycled paper bags based in, you've guessed it, Canon Lane, Tonbridge.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
First Impressions of the New Ivy House....
I finally made it to the New Ivy House for a quickie the other night after work. As I was on me bike and a bit parched, I thought I'd have a larger shandy and sit on the tables outside. Very pleasant it was too, although that was more to do with the glorious evening sunshine than anything the pub had to offer. My first impressions were: Oh that looks quite nice! Smart looking tables and chairs, still the old basic layout, bar area seems to have been smartened up a bit. The larger shandy, shandy mind you, cost me £3.50, which I must say I questioned having thought he must have got it wrong. It's cheaper than that in the Rose and Crown Hotel, I thought to myself, which is saying something, although I'm not quite sure what. But no that was the correct price; I think the bar man, or was he a waiter? said that the Harvey's was £3.20 a pint. Now I don't go out much these days, and at those sort of prices it's no wonder, but I'm pretty sure you can get a perfectly good pint in Tonbridge for a whole pound less than that. The Ivy Dining Room and Bar, to give it its full and rather grand name, is obviously trying to position itself from the word go as a slightly upmarket experience. Good luck to them but I rather fear that they will have a job on their hands and that there will be lots of nights when the inside of the pub (sorry dining room) is on the empty side. All I'll say is the food, which I haven't tried yet, better be damned good! Last Saturday evening, and to be fair it was only about 7pm, there was one person eating, and she was sitting outside, the inside tables were completely empty. I had a chat with Simon, the owner of Cycle Ops, who I usually only catch the odd hello and cheeky passing comment with, so that was quite a good thing, and I would have stayed for another drink, so glorious was the evening sunshine, but at £3.50 a pint I decided to toddle (actually wobble since I was cycling) off back to my 50p can of ice cold Fosters in the garden....
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Hay, There's lovely for you!...
TonbridgeBlog is back from the Hay on Wye Literary Festival, frankly wishing he was still there in the middle of the Black Mountains and the Brecon Beacons surrounded by arty actor and author types with a choice of forty bookshops in a town half the size of Tonbridge. I saw a load of famous people such as a performance by my fave poet Roger McGough and the first female Poet Laureate, Carol Ann Duffy, as well as Sue Perkins, Anthony Horowitz, the Archbish of Canterbury and amazingly Desmond Tutu, surrounded by several beefy dog-collar wearing "minders" standing right there a few feet away from me. I've made Hay an annual family pilgrimage and always feel physically knackered but mentally refreshed when I return; I can't think of anything bad to say about the place. As they say in Wales: There's lovely for you!...
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Victoria Hislop Book Signing today....
Yes it is still on this afternoon from 4 till 5pm. Form an orderly queue along the High Street and around the corner into Bank Street. Her first novel, The Island, was critically acclaimed winning several prestigious awards, and the follow up, The Return, is currently number two on the best seller list. They are essentially beautifully written, historical novels; The Return centering around the Spanish Civil War in the 1930s, which spilt the country in two. Come along to Mr. Books, Bank Street, Tonbridge, opposite Church Lane, buy a signed copy or two and to have an informal chat with Victoria, who is a Tonbridge girl after all....
Laugh? I nearly wet meself!...
Went to a fantastic night of comedy at the Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club club house last night, so feeling the effects today. Aching sides that is and also an aching head (well you need a couple of beers to loosen yourself up a bit to allow the comedy to have its full impact I always find.) These guys were the real deal, from the London comedy circuit so they were polished performers. There were no moments squirming in your seat thinking when are they getting off the stage, not even an embarrassing pregnant pause. The compere held it all together really well, although he did use the f word quite alot. Football? Federalism? Ferns? Fundementalism? No the other one! Frank Skinner, that famous sweary comedian, apparently tried doing his whole live act without saying fuck (oh it slipped out!) and concluded that it actually made no difference at all to the level of laughter. So there's a lesson for us all there, maybe somewhere, who knows. Anyway all three acts were brilliant but the final act, and of cause I've forgotten his name, who had a brilliant combination of fast talking one liners, general nuttiness bordering on insanity and anal slapstick (imagine a cross between Harry Hill, Groucho Marx and Le Petomain and you'll be in the vicinity) had my sides splitting from start to finish. This night, which was a charity fund raiser, organised by Adam, one of the young first team players, should definitely become an annual event. Can I remember any of the jokes to share with you all? Can I f....
Friday, May 22, 2009
Tonbridge County Secondary School 1949-1950?...
I've just acquired some old school magazines from the late 1940s and early 50s for Tonbridge County Secondary School for Boys. Now was that the name for Sussex Road before it became a primary school or was it Slade or another school that doesn't exist anymore perhaps? This is where my lack of local knowledge, being a man of the North whose been down this way for 25 years or more, really shows up. Any true Tonbridge thoroughbreds out there will instantly know the answer and probably think TonbridgeBlog incredibly dim for not knowing!...
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