More on Pot Holes....

Just bought this week's Courier. Splash on front page reads: "Safety Fears as roads go to pot" I've been out-scooped by the local rag! How dare they! There's a first for everything and TBlog is only a one man band....

Pot Holes in Tonbridge roads....

Pot holes! I'll say that again: Pot holes. Has anyone noticed how many there are this year? In some areas the roads are looking more and more like farm tracks and those unadopted roads you find on some posh housing estates. I'm pretty sure I know what has caused them: an exceptionally cold winter causes water to get into cracks in the surface and then freeze; and we all know of course from out science lessons that ice expands and therefore has to expand somewhere, in this case forcing it's way out and therefore causing a great big pot hole. I'm sure someone out there will correct this rather elementary explanation but that's basically it. So do we all have to go out and buy a four wheel drive or is the council, in this case I believe its Kent County Council Highways Department I'm referring to, going to do something about it before one of us falls into one of them. Some say that I've been digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself for the last twenty years but that's a different matter!...

The Lost Powder Mills of Leigh....

Anyone ever been for a walk or a cycle ride along the path from Tonbridge park via Barden Lake and then over to Powder Mills? Did you know that, as you reach the end of the track and go onto the road near the Glaxo site, you are close to a bit of important military history? Some claim that without the gunpowder mills, which were on that site, we would not have won the Battle of Waterloo. So we could all now be eating loads of garlic and drinking wine, (ok we do do that) but we don't say ooh la la and have squatty toilets do we! Yes Powder Mills, or The Ramhurst Mill, as it was known in 1812 on it's opening is a great historic building. I say "building" but actually there's not much left of it after it was very efficiently demolished about 70 years ago. As many as a dozen workers died, I would imagine quite horribly, during its 140 years manufacturing some of the finest gunpowder on the planet. How do I know all about this? Because I went to a talk and film by the Leigh Historical Society, hosted by the Tonbridge Civic Society, last night. They have published a book, pictured, all about the mills, their social and economic importance to the area and about the conservation work they are helping to carry out, funded by a very substantial Heritage Lottery funding. Yes you can order copies of the book at Mr. Books, Bank Street for a mere £19.95, signed by the author, Chris Rowley, no less if you're quick. He tells me that the book cost around £60 per copy to produce, given the low print run, so grab one before the price goes up....

Tonbridge Has Talent revisited....

If you want to see highlights of the recent Tonbridge Has Talent, held at Tonbridge School with most of the senior schools in the district taking part click here. It really is worth watching, but be warned it is an hour and a half long, but then Britain's Got Talent goes on for about a year! The editors seems to have taken out the judges comments, which were in between the acts, so I'm afraid you won't be able to see me at my cutting best as I tore into those poor teenagers, like Simon Cowell with a bad hang over! Watch the video and judge for yourselves who you think the winners should have been; then you'll see for yourselves just how difficult a job I and the other judges had on the night. It was a fun evening and did prove that the young folk from the schools in and around Tonbridge had talent, and by the bucket load. So here's a challenge to anyone out there who thinks they could do as well or better than these guys: You've got just under a year to come up with something original and entertaining for next year's show, it was such a success so there's bound to be another one, so get practicing soon....

Tonbridge Statue would make a statement....

Whatever you think about the great big white horse, the so called Nag of the South, winning sculpture design, which is to be erected near the Ebsfleet Euro Rail station it's got to be worth considering something similar to mark the gateway to our fair town of Tonbridge. Any suggestions? I go to Dorking once in a while and have noticed the recent addition of a very large cockerel scupture in the middle of the roundabout as you enter the town. I don't know what the significance is to the town but you certainly notice it as you drive in. So how about it Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council! After all there are several examples on the roundabouts near the Kings Hill council offices are there not. There's no use leaving money languishing in an Icelandic bank account any more is there, or earning 0.3% interest in the Abbey National, spend some of it tastefully on a special project. Tonbridge urgently needs something, some statement to let visitors know that they're reached their destination, they've arrived, they need go no further. But what would it be. How about a very large Frank Woolley, with bat held aloft, ready to strike! Now that would be impressive. Or how about a miniature Tonbridge Castle, or simply a large cricket ball, maybe a printing press, or an old style river barge something to symbolise the town's history. Yep, I'm still favouring the Frank Woolley idea. Where would it be placed? Well there's that patch of grass, where the Star and Garter used to blot the landscape or at the other end of town there's the roundabout next to St. Stephens church; maybe both....

Around Tonbridge...

Around and about in Tonbridge. A few photos for you. Now what is that statue at Botany all about then?!..

Too much excitement...

Pancake day and the Tonbridge Civic society meeting to look forward to tonight. Too much excitement in one day surely! The talk at tonight's meeting is all about the history of Powder Mills at Leigh; if anyone is interested it starts at 7-30pm for coffee and biccies with the actual talk starting at 8pm. It 's always held at the Angel Centre upstairs in the Riverside Lounge. Which is a bit of an odd name for it since it's not really a lounge and it's not by the river, only a stream! Anyway I'd better go as I'm on the "Executive Committee" (Oh yes, sounds grand doesn't it) and I missed the last meeting and in fact the last committee meeting as well. Naughty, naughty, slapped wrist from the Hon. Sec. tonight!...

Bring the Tonbridge market back home....

I'm not kidding but at least two people poke their heads in my door virtually every Saturday to ask where the market is now. It happened again just a few minutes ago. "Excuse me..." said a polite oldish lady "There used to be a market here on a Saturday, when did that stop then?..." "Oh only about seven years ago!" is my usual reply. It just goes to show that this part of Tonbridge is still the area where folk expect a market to be. After all, apart from the last seven or eight years, there's been one here for at least a thousand years. Now that would seem to me to be a tradition worth upholding....

Record collectors don't miss out today....

There's a cd and vinyl records collectors' fair on at the Rose and Crown Hotel today for any one who likes that sort thing. Just thought I'd mention it. Not stunning news I know but there you go. I poked my nose in to have a quick gander and a chat with Mark the organiser, who used to own Bionic Records shop in Botany. I asked him what life was like without the millstone of running a shop around his neck and he replied "brilliant!" Umm, makes me think....

Good on you Mandy....

I can make a cup of coffee in my shop for as little as 3 pence I reckon. Not just a Somerfield's own brand one either. No, we're talking Carte Noir here! That's the cost of the spoonful of the finest instant granules, the slug of semi skimmed milk and the lecky to boil a small amount of water. So it's always baffled me when I see, otherwise sane people queuing up in the morning at Starbucks on Tonbridge High Street, to pay around £2.50 for their frothy lattes served in a cardboard cups "to go." Well after today's story about Howard Shultz (the boss of the global Starbuck's chain) slagging off the UK and it's economy I wish they would "go" go leave our country if they don't like it. It's not often that I would agree with Peter Mandelson but on this one his "tirade", reported in all the papers this morning, was well justified. Who the fuck, to use Mandy's language not usually mine, do they think they are? They are a sodding coffee shop and don't have any right to pass comment on the state of our economy and, even more annoyingly, on the psychie of the British people. The day we need to take advice from a coffee shop entrepreneur, who let's face it, opened way too many outlets in the first place, is the day we really need to start worrying. Good on you Mandelson I say....

Tonbridge and Hildenbough find new Courier community "volunteers"...

It seems that both Tonbridge and Hildenborough have at long last taken on new community columnists, as reported in an amazing exclusive in the Courier's (allegedly) Tonbridge edition this weekend. Good luck to them both and I would be interested to hear whether or not the Courier ended up back tracking and are actually going to pay them; or are the executives at the billion pound turnover Associated Newspapers Group insisting on being tight fisted and making these community reporters roles "voluntary." I should have thought that voluntary is for charities and worthy organisations and not to help a rich newspaper conglomorate sell newspapers. But that's just me!...
As a post script to that: when are the Courier going to stop referring to "our town" in their leader columns when speaking about Tunbridge Wells? Doesn't the editor have the sense to know that this is a sensitive topic for those people born and bred in Tonbridge, from whence the Courier newspaper evolved. It has become now a standing joke in Tonbridge, has it not, that the paper is now basically a Tunbridge Wells newspaper which occasionally, and somewhat relunctantly, remembers its roots....

Ten romantic things to do in Tonbridge....

(1) Go for a nice long walk through the Sportsground park hand in hand. (Unless it's flooded)
(2) Go white water rafting with your loved one on the Medway near the town lock
(3) Take your sweet heart for an intimate meal at Mama Mia's or another similarly nice restaurant. (Book well in advance)
(4) Don't go for a ruby murray as they're not very romantic!
(5) Stay at home and cook your valentine a special meal
(6) Drink pink champagne together
(7) Send the kids to the pictures with some money for the slot machines and some pop corn
(8) Walk along the river together beyond Canon Lane bridge; just you, your beloved and a few dog walkers for company
(9) er that's it
Any other suggestions?...

Tonbridge Reunited....

Let's hear from some of you Tonbridge expats. In the past TonbridgeBlog has had stories and comments from all over the world. Canada, Australia, New Zealand, the USA, Singapore, Japan, Germany, even Scotland. It seems that you can take the people out of Tonbridge, but you cannot take Tonbridge out of the people! You can send your stories in of your time in Tonbridge by posting a comment below; it can be anything at all from a simple childhood memory about the area to maybe trying to get in touch with an old flame. Now there's a thought; separate website idea coming on: Tonbridgereunited.com!...

Are we all in for a soaking?...

Gulp! Without wishing to spread alarm around Tonbridge but isn't that river level getting a tad too high? This was the view from the big bridge down river this morning; the other side of the bridge, beneath the castle looked like you could go white water rafting on it. The rowing boat quay-side, under the bridge, was submerged right up to the tops of the mooring posts. Was the bloke operating the Leigh flood barrier asleep on the job last night? Is the swimming pool defense system, build after the million pound mess up a few years back, about to be tested. Will the Sportsground park be turned into a surf boarding lake? Will we ever see the flooding of the lower high street like in 1968? I'm pretty sure that Mr. Books Bookshop in Bank Street is safe what with being on the high ground to the North of the Castle. Those Normans knew what they were doing you know, they built the Castle and the old town where it was never likely to flood. All the 21th Century technology in the world cannot stop nature forever, it's just a matter of time people of South Tonbridge! Next time you are looking for a house in this town just take a more careful look at the street names around the North of the town. It's not called Dry Hill Park Road for nothing you know. Its on a hill and it's dry up there!...

TJ's groundsman works around the clock....

That groundman at the Tonbridge Juddians has got a bit of work to do again if he wants to get the pitch ready for Saturday. Better get out there with your garden fork mate!...

A boy with a new toy!...

Yesterday I finally succumbed to the temptation of something that has been bugging me for over a year. I started off as a complete cynic, went to the what's all the fuss about stage, then to the maybe they'd be useful if I was lost stage and finally, after much shopping around and gathering research and information, to the oh sod it I'll have one point, which was yesterday. Now I know the truth beyond any doubt: Satellite Navigation GPS devices are fabulous inventions. After making my purchase at Halfords, I took my Tom Tom XL for a test drive yesterday across the length and breadth of Tonbridge, shortly after being baffled by the instruction leaflet. I tried to fool "Jane" (that's the voice I've selected on the machine) by turning alternative directions to the instructions she was giving me. But Jane was not to be messed with. Everytime I attempted to deceive her she calmly and politely simply issued me with new instructions in order for me to complete my journey home. Jane will accompany me on many a journey from now on and save me the bother of having to crane my neck to see the map and risk life and limb to get to an appointment on time with hastily scribbled down directions balancing on my knee. She doesn't know it yet, but my new cyber friend, Jane, will also save many a bad tempered argument towards the end of a long journey on holidays, finding camp sites in the middle of the Cornish countryside. No more maps thrown at me on country lanes just a calm "At the next junction in 60 yards turn sharp right and then left. I'm easily pleased and like a boy with a new toy....

Tonbridge talent continued....

I dream in emails, worn out phrases
Mile after mile of just empty pages....

Not my words but those of Keane, those other talented boys from Tonbridge, from the title track of their new album "Perfect Symmetry." Maybe there's something in the water around here, we seem to be surrounded by such talent....

Tonbridge Has Talent!...

It's true you know. If last night's performances at Tonbridge School's Big School Hall was anything to go by, they have lots of it. Most of the senior schools from Tonbridge and Tonbridge Wells has gathered together for a almighty showing of talent. Talents ranging from magic, to stand up comedy, singing, dancing, mime, ventriloqy (if that's a word) drumming, guitaring, even spinning glowing balls and a diabloist; you name it it was there. Probably the most amusing performance of the evening, for me, was Emily Ffrench's 'Speaking French' accompanied by Ben Fergusson on Piano. Well what else could she do with a name like that?! It could have been bad, but Emily, from Tonbridge Girls Grammar, held it together so well that she would have graced any rag week souirie. Other notable performances were the madness of Tom Wheatley's iMime, the psycopathic drumming of Holly Mallet with the weirdly named act Sir Synthalot, especially weird cos I didn't notice any synths; Hamish Balinghall, performing 'Memories', an accoustic guitar solo, which he's written himself was easily the most accomplished performance, and he got a special mention later on (but no prize.) The boy will definitely go far, John Williams, make room cos a new protege is coming. I had been asked to be on the judging panel, which was a first for me which I really enjoyed. The spot light was, quite literally, on me when I was giving my opinion of the acts so I tried to be as honest and amusing as I could while keeping it mostly upbeat (well they are only teenagers afterall.) Some of the judges were being very technical and rather Simon Cowell-like in a few cases, but I think on the whole we were all pretty fair. Judging panels always bleet on about how difficult it was to come to a decision, and you just think "Oh come off it you're just being kind to the losers." But do you know what, it is really hard to reach an agreement, as I discovered last night, because each judge has their own opinion. We were scoring the acts as they went along, but those scores, rather bizzarely in my opinion, went out of the window in the final analysis. We did however reach a decision, as organiser Mike Morris, indicated that we had about two minutes to do so. So the winner was a brilliant young magician, from Judd School, called Edward Hilsum. He kept producing those hankies and then white doves, which he placed in a cage on their perches; thenn for his finale, amazingly, and not even in a puff of smoke, he made those birds disappear before our very eyes! He needs to polish his act a little, but he's young yet and he's going places. Second was Amy Squirrel, from Weald of Kent School, a folky singer/guitarist in the Alanis Morrisett type-vein. Really brilliant and my kinda music. And third was a cheeky young stand-up commedian called Tom Edkins who managed to make his curiously chosen subject of liquorish funny, now that in itself deserves a prize. Some of his jokes were a bit colourful for a mixed-age audience, and, for me, he could lose the swearing but he clearly had the audience with him and laughing and that takes a lot of bottle when you're standing up there on your own. I enjoyed the the whole evening and there are many acts I haven't metioned here who were fantastic. I'll leave you with the comment I made when judging the ventriloquist act, which kind of summed up the whole evening, and it's the nearest I ever get to being funny: I thought they were all gloody grilliant!...

Will John Bartram stick to his guns in Gollywog debate?...

In the light of the Carol Thatcher Gollywog tennis player debate, which seems to have had far too much TV and radio air time, I wonder whether John Bartram feels the TV presenter (and daughter of Satan) has been unfairly treated by the BBC. You may remember that Bartram, owner of Tonbridge High Street shop, Allsorts, raised a similar debate on a local level when he sold the Golly Dolls and refused to take them out of his shop window after a young lady of colour had complained about them saying that she found them offensive. He preferred instead to pose for the Courier grinning in a close up photo with the un-pc doll of colour and thence to milk the situation for all the publicity he could get....

Great job on the roads but what about the pavements?...

I have to say that whoever has been responsible for keeping the roads of Tonbridge free from ice and snow (so probably Kent County Council Highways, or possibly Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council, or, knowing them, both of them) has done a pretty good job, given the severity of the conditions. If only I could say the same for the treacherous pavements! After a very scarey drive home from the Farnham Book Fair on Sunday evening, when the M25 from the Gatwick junction onwards was like an episode of Strictly Come Ice Dancing with cars, I decided to play safe and walk to work instead of the usual shortish drive across town. For at least half my journey I ended up, as did most other people on foot, walking on the roads. They were completely clear, the pavements a virtual ice rink. Something wrong here I think. Maybe if the council made it easier for people to walk, instead of clearly prioritising the roads, then more people would take to the pavements instead of saying sod it! as I did this morning when I returned to the safer option of my car....

No Poetry at the Pub this week....

For all regulars of Poetry at the Pub, usually held on the first Thursday of the month at the Ivy House, there isn't one this Thursday. In fact there won't be one now probably until the Ivy House reopens. That, to paraphrase the famous explorer, Captain Oates, could be some time. The last time I looked in the window (about a week ago) there was no furniture in there and the plaster from the ceilings was half hanging off. Now I don't mind a seedy run down pub, but that would be taking it a bit far. Watch this space or Mr Books web site for updates....

The Tonbridge Ice Festival....

Well not quite, but what a great day in snowy Tonbridge yesterday. Hardly any cars on the road, took the kids out of school, which turned out to be a very sensible decision since most of them closed by 1 o'clock anyway, went sledging down Quarry Hill, no not the road like in the pic, the bit near the Cottage Hospital. Fantastic fun, nice gentle slope, getting steadily faster as you build up momentum towards the bottom. There were lots of families there enjoying their totally unexpected day off. Some were kitted out as if at Kitzbuhel on a skiing holiday with the very latest in sledge designs; others made do with jeans and fleeces and home made sleds or plastic tea trays. My kids' two plastic tobbagans, bought for a quid each on a car boot sale a few years back, were christened Blizzard and Polo Xtreme and they went down that hill like a dream. When I had several goes and each time forgot to apply the brakes (my feet in the snow) I ended up having to untangle myself from the brambles by the hedge near the stile. Ouch! but great fun....

Still twiitering on....

I'm getting to know more about twitter and have discovered that you can search key words like "Tonbridge" for example. This will come up with anyone from or twittering about our fair town. Some of it is pretty mundane, like trains are running late, or pointing out the bleedin obvious like: it's snowing! But others can make for interesting reading. On twitter you can only use up to 140 characters for each update, which really does concentrate the mind....