That goal....

I was down on Tonbridge Park the other day just on a walk and happened to stumble upon a lively looking football match. Only a Sunday afternoon match between a couple of rival pub teams but, nevertheless, a fiercely fought tight dual. The team in white shirts had taken an early two goal lead, but the reds had come back valiantly to 2-1. Then the incident happened: the reds shot from the 18 yard box, a superb strike, and whacked the cross bar. As the ball spun off the cross bar it appeared to go well inside the goal behind the goalie, but then a strange thing happened. The ball then, still in a spin, came back out of the goal and into the goal keeper's hands. All the red team (and most of the whites, but they were staying quiet) knew it was a clear goal as did the small crowd on the touchline nearest the goal. But the referee was having none of it and the linesman had got a fly in his eye just as the ball was banging against the bar. Luckily one really keen spectator had videoed the whole incident so that he could show it to his drinking buddies later on as it was the captain's birthday. (The captain was a bit of a quiet bloke but a brilliant footballer which made up for it.) The crowd were so incensed by the injustice of the ref's decision that they shouted for the amateur film maker to replay the incident. So they all gathered around and waited for him to get to the right bit of the tape and watched as the evidence became all too clear that they'd been robbed of a goal. The ref was a sensible man and knew that he had two choices: stick to his decison based on what he thought he'd seen (and according to the rules of the game) of be pragmatic and thereby avoid a riot. As he watched the, by now, red faced fans beginning to match the colour of their red shirted team he knew that there was only one course of action. After all he could see the evidence right there in front of his very eyes. Because the camera man had a swanky new dvd digital cam corder he was able to freeze the image at exactly the point at which the ball had, so plainly, crossed the line so there really was no problem in him bending the rules to avoid a major crowd control problem. Now if only they'd had that kind of technology available to them for the England Germany game....

Mr. Books is to close....

Mr. Books will be closing it's doors for good not in 2027, as had been originally planned, but instead it will close a year later in 2028. What's he banging on about now? I hear some of you saying. As the meercat says: It's simples! Nick Clegg, George Osbourne, Iain Duncan-Smith and Co. are conspiring to raise the age at which you can claim the state pension from 65 to 66 which means another year of sitting here in my Tonbridge bookshop reading books when I could be sat at home, er, reading books. Apparently we are all living too long and have no right to have more than our fair share of happy workless and stress free days. So, if I only get me three score years and ten in, that's just 4 years that the mean sods will have to pay out. However, if I live to 103 then I'll be laughing all the way to Tonbridge Post Office, that is if my mobility scooter will fit through the doors. I'd actually like to make a sensible suggestion, if you'll allow me to. David Cameron I hope you are listening: Why not make the pension age partly dependent on whether or not you actually want to retire, some will but lots won't, and also allow people with poorer health to be signed off at 65, or perhaps earlier, by a doctor so they can receive their pensions. That way only the fit and really healthy over 65's end up working longer and, since they are the people who will probably want to then everybody's happy. The trade off might be that the longer you are in work then the bigger pension you get when you actually take your well earned retirement. Worth a thought?...

That budget analysis in full....

What a relief! VAT on books was one thing I was dreading for obvious reasons! Hopefully I'll be alright for another four or five years at least....

Football, betting, beer and books....

I'm not a betting man particularly but this morning, as I rode on my bike past William Hill's on Tonbridge High Street, I had a mad urge to go and have a bet on England winning the World Cup. To be honest I was thinking that the odds on this would have gone right out to about 50 to one or at least 20. But no 8 to 1 was still the best price which, if you stop to consider it is pretty crumby. Unless of course they know something we don't. Perhaps the two, at best, mediocre performances by the England are all part of a Fabio Capella and Mafia betting scandal, an elaberate way of increasing the odds on an overall England victory. (Obviously goal keeper, Rob Green, is in on it as well!) Anyway, I thought better of it and decided to keep my tenner bet and spend it on beer and books instead....

For The Queen, England, and St. George....

TonbridgeBlog asks: Will England be playing in the red shirts today? What's the significance? You may well ask. Call me superstitious but England wore the famous bright red strip when they won in 1966. That alone should be enough to inspire the team, to motivate them to play out of their skins. Forget nerves now boys The Queen, England and St, George need you to play the best god damn game of football you've ever played in your whole lives ever ever ever! Which only leaves the question of where to watch the game? Let me think. Option number One: close shop early go home so I can crack open numerous cans of Fosters lager, be undisturbed and be able to shout at the TV. Bit saddoand lonely though. Option Two: watch on computer in my bookshop. This could be disastrous if (a) computer and/or internet crashes and (b) a railway books enthusiast with no interest in football wanders in mid way through second half and wants, quite understandably, to talk about his area of interest! No this cannot be the option. Which, as it's too late to catch a flight to Johannesberg, only leaves going to the pub to watch with like minded people on a biggish sports screen. But where in the centre of Tonbridge is the best spot? I watched some of the last World Cup games in the Slug and Lettuce but felt a bit out of place there being older than twenty; so what about the Rose and Crown outside bar? Or there's the good old Chequers or maybe the Ivy House. Then there's the Somerhill at the other end of town. Come on help me out here....

Where would you cut wasted spending in Tonbridge?...

As new Chancellor, George Osbourne, lines himself up for possibly the harshest budget in recent memory Tonbridge Blog asks how will this effect Tonbridge? Where will the cuts fall, how deep will they be and where should they fall? What would you do if you were in charge? For example would the new Government have allowed the extravagant new Gateway building at the castle council offices? What about cycle routes? Are they worth maintaining or a waste of time and money? Will the axe fall on the A21 dualling project? What about the Cottage Hospital? How safe is its future? What projects are crucial enough to ring fence? It's likely to effct us all in varying degrees so let's hear some views....

False alarm!...

Just went along to enjoy an hour at the Slade School fete and discovered that it is, er hum next Saturday. Do I feel a berk?! Anyway put it in you diaries for a week's time....

Slade summer fete starts about now....

Lots of school fetes on today no doubt. I shall be finding time very shortly to have a look at the Slade School one. You know the sort of thing: tombolas, penalty shooting, coconut shy, burger/hot dogs, flower stall, bric a brac, throw a wet spunge at the teacher etc. etc. Their theme for the fete is, er hum, the World Cup! In fact it starts at 12pm (till 2-30 I think) so I might toddle off there right now. That queue of people outside Mr. Books will just have to wait till I get back!...

Has Mr. Books finally been locked up?!..

Has Mr. Books finally completely lost it? Is it him being bundled into the back of a riot squad Police van? Many of you, no doubt, would like to think so wouldn't you! No in fact the story as far as can be told with scant information is this: Friday night and all was quiet when I shut up shop for the night around 5pm, (honest guv.) The World Cup was getting into full swing and there was not a hint of any trouble just an average evening in the middle of June. When suddenly.... I wasn't around to witness any of it, in fact I only heard about it this morning but, luckily, a keen amateur snapper and fan of TonbridgeBlog was on hand to bring us a couple of decent pictures of the, let's just say, altercation right outside Mr. Books Bookshop around 6pm. Apparently some travellers had been in trouble with the boys in blue for illegally setting up camp in a field near Barden Lake by cutting a gap in the hedge. How one of them ended up being chased all the way to Bank Street in the centre of town is a mystery but apparently this young thick set fellow wasn't at all pleased and wasn't initially prepared to cooperate fully (or in fact at all) in getting into the van. By all accounts it took several burly coppers to eventually bundle him in. An ugly scene for our fair town to witness I think you'll all agree. Some people have even said that the characters of the childrens' books in Mr. Books window display were covering their faces in sheer terror! Let's see if we can gather some more reliable information. Anyone care to fill in the details....

Tonbridge Carnival in pictures....

Tonbridge High Street was lined with people three deep on a gloriously sunny Sunday afternoon as they gathered to see this year's carnival procession. These pictures, taken with my trusty little Sony Ericsson camera phone, are not the best photos in the world I'll grant you but, I think you'll agree, they do capture the spirit of the day. Stewarded as usual by the Tonbridge Lions, local theatre groups, martial arts groups, schools, hospital leagues of friends, clubs and societies and, not forgetting those twirlers had all made a great effort to entertain us all. I'm sitting here in my shop missing out on all the fun of the fete going on on the castle lawn right now but I'll be putting in an appearance there soon. Marvelous to see such a brilliant turn out from the good folk of Tonbridge who are clearly determined to have a good day in spite of all the economic gloom....

Tonbridge Carnival....

If you missed the Tonbridge Carnival procession then no need to worry some pictures will follow very shortly right here on Tonbridge Blog. It's still possible to see the carnival fete at on the castle lawn which is just starting around about now....

Tonbridge Carnival is tomorrow....

Don't forget to come into Tonbridge tomorrow for the summer carnival, now you wouldn't want to miss those Tonbridge Twirlers now would you?! The procession starts at 1pm (I think) and then there's a fete on the castle lawn all afternoon following it. Will we be celebrating England kicking off their World Cup campaign with a win or will we be biting our nails as those USA boys do us again (just like in 1950 if there's anyone out there old enough to remember?!) Oh and Mr. Books, unusually fo a Sunday, will more than likely be open so you can buy some good novels to read in the times between all the football matches....

Come on England giz a goal....

Football mania hits Tonbridge! What an opening ceremony that was. What? You didn't watch it! Then you missed a treat as the world watched a celebretion of, not just football, but all things African. Will England beat the USA tonight? (anyone know what time the kick off is by the way?) will they win their group (they certainly oughta) will they become torunament favourites? Will Wayne Rooney go on the collect the golden boot for the most number of goals scored across the four weeks? Will John Terry be able to resist the temptation of all those Cape Town girls or has his wife hired a PI to keep an eye on him? Will Dizzy Rascal and James Corden get to number One or will we see a return of Meat Pie Sausage Roll Come on England Giz a Goal? Please God nooooo! The England team must be nervous and excited, but surely they will have no trouble beating the US of A. Will they? But then we remember the 1950 England World Cup match against the amateurs of the States, who, against all odds, managed a flukey 1-0 win and sent our boys home with their tails between their legs? (or was it 1952?) Don't be too on edge boys and remember you can always read a good novel to calm your nerves....

In at the deep end....

Reading the Tonbridge and Malling Council glossy rag, Here and Now, I noticed that the swimming pool down by the river is 100 years old this year. Well, they are stretching it a little as the lido, build in 1910, bears virtually no resemblance to the current all mod cons one. Apart from the fact that it is on the same sight and there's water in it! What struck me reading this article was the fact that that they actually had first and second class bathing meaning that the first class bathers didn't have to mix with the poorer folk even though they shared the same water, they had there own cublicles by the side of their bit of the pool and paid more for the priviledge. It tickled me to discover that a woman, who was joining in a Daily Mail backed national campaign, mounted the diving board to protest about mixed sex bathing and was promptly pushed into the pool below, fully clothed presumably, by another bather. I wonder what she'd make of modern day lycra bikinis and banana hammock speedos! Anyway, apparently Duncan Goodhew will return to the pool on July 10th to mark the centenary of the pool with a family outdoor party. (Is he a Tonbridge man or something?) So now you know....

Recharging my batteries in Hay....

Well it may not be everyone's idea of a relaxing few days off but it is mine. From Sunday to Wednesday I was "detoxing" at the Hay on Wye Festival. I say detoxing because that is what it feels like: you're surrounded by authors, actors, famous people who are just sitting all around on deck chairs, in the cafes and bars just like you are. Then there's all the talks, which are mostly fairly cheap (between £4 and £8) and sometimes free; you learn that some authors may be great on paper but boring to listen to (Anthony Beevor, Helen Dunmore for example) and that others are just a delight to both read and listen to like Simon Armitage and Andrea Levy. Sometimes you realise that you are becoming part of that days news when you hear, as I did, Sir Ian Blair (ex-Commissionaire of the Met) giving his first hand opinion of the shooting of the innocent Brazilian man, which partly led to his own sacking by Boris Johnson. And then there's the town of Hay itself, with it's thirty odd bookshops (one of them a converted cinema housing over 200,000 titles!) then there's the street food: home cooked curry, crepes, smoothies from stalls in and around the Castle; the music, the comedy, the weird and wonderful people milling around the narrow streets. You look up and you see the wonderfully picturesque scenery all around you as the Brecon Beacons beckon you to walk up them, to breath all that lovely fresh Welsh air. My first visit to Hay gave the inspiration to open my bookshop in Tonbridge so every year that I can I try to make it along there for a few days of recharging and detoxing. A kind of working holiday but actually, for me, more enjoyable than most normal breaks....