Merry Christmas....

Have a simply super time at Christmas from everyone at Tonbridge Blog (that'd be me then!) Feel free to talk amongst yourselves for a bit. Just click the comments button below and get blogging. You could say something nice you'd like to share with the folk of Tonbridge or else you could form your very own Christmas Grumpy Tonbridge club....

Your turkey roast's gonna cost ya this year....

With food prices set to keep rising your traditional turkey roast and trimmings Christmas dinner could cost you dramatically more this year. According to the Office for National Statistics recent report some of the ingredients have risen by over 50%. Whilst some like carrots and potatoes have actually fallen on average bacon and sausages have gone up by well over 10%, red wine by over 14%, turkey itself up nearly 4% and crackers for your cheese course up a whopping 51%. I blame it all on the bankers and the politicians myself. They get all the pleasure while the rest of us gets the blame! Anyway Happy Christmas....

Tonbridge Street Lighting update....

Credit where it's due. The council(s) seem to have got their act together at last and, from what I can see, all the street lamps at the north end of Tonbridge High Street appear to be in working order. A few weeks ago there were at least seven out. Have the Highways department been reading Tonbridge Blog or something? Whatever the reason we should all be grateful for small mercies. The Christmas lights do look absolutely lovely this year. Not over the top or tacky, but tasteful and just right....

Christmas is coming. Let's all fast....

At the Tonbridge Civic Society talk earlier this week Pat Mortlock gave us an excellently delivered insight into Christmas celebrations down the ages. Many of the traditions which we have grown up with and which we'd all be loath to let go have, in truth, only been around for a relatively short time or are adaptations of much older traditions. The Christmas tree, for example, many people think was "invented" by Prince Albert, Queen Victoria's husband. This is only partly true in the sense that he embraced it and made it a popular way to celebrate the event. The evergreen tree had been used in stately homes though long before the 19th Century. You could argue that it's roots (no pun intended) stretch back as far as pagan celebrations of the mid-winter festival. The turkey is also fairly modern in it's association with Christmas although game birds had for centuries been eaten as part of the feasting. As had roast beef, sheep, pork and goose but definitely not fish (that was associated with periods of restraint, like Lent and Advent.) Some would say that Oliver Cromwell had the best idea of all. From about 1653, as effectively dictator of England, until his death in 1658, the pruitan ruler banned Christmas as a celebration and people were asked instead to fast and to think of Christ's birth. A bit harsh you might think but then again hasn't it all gone a bit too far the other way in modern times?...

What is the Tonbridge Zeitgeist?...

As we approach Christmas news days, as they say in the business, tend to get slower and slower. The papers start writing "news" stories about what has been in the news during the last year and what the most popular trends on the internet have been. If you will they try to determine what is the Zeitgeist or the Spirit of the Age. It seems that, perhaps unsurprisingly, Facebook, ebay and YouTube are among the top searches according to Google. Top people searches include Kim Kardashian, Victoria Beckham and Emma Watson. Subjects high on the list were things like What is AV? (I still haven't a clue!) and high on the shopping list were Asda (really?) and travel Las Vegas. What do they tell us about the Zeitgeist then? Well search me! So what were the top subjects looked at on Tonbridge Blog during the year? The post about Tonbridge Has Talent back in February scored high on page views presumably among people who wanted to see the videos; the SIBA beer festival report seemed popular; as did Retro 66 Barbers Turning Blue for some odd reason and One Man's View of Tonbridge. But by far and away the highest number of page views, 22.117 to be precise, was for the the shortest piece I think Tonbridge Blog has ever posted about allegations against the local catholic priest. So I'm not quite sure what that all says about capturing the Tonbridge Zeitgeist. Singing, dancing, vanity, moaning, guilt and religion. Yep that just about sums us up!...

Mr. Books Bike is a gonna....



The Wreckage Yesterday

Well it's an end of an era for Mr. Books. The shop bike has served me well but, as you can see from the picture taken yesterday, it is no more. In the words of the  Monty Python team it has ceased to be! Originally the Mr. Books bike was bought (on ebay as a matter of fact) to get around the fact that our county council didn't seem to like having small businesses who wanted to promote themselves by putting signs out on the pavement. When one morning they confiscated my A-board it forced me to think up a more creative way of having a, in a manner of speaking, High Street presence. Mary Portas would have been proud of my ingenuity in the solution I came up with. So the sign on the bike was repainted and the old 1940s delivery bike has been wheeled out every business day ever since. Of late though I must admit to having got a little lazy in not bringing her in every night and leaving her to the will of drunks, oiks and yobs passing by. She's been kicked, ridden on with people giggling and shouting whilst sitting in the front basket at 3am; she's been sat on, jumped on, twisted about and, eventually, as you can see, completely wrecked.  So yesterday I carried her back to the shop one last time to save her from yet more abuse. Having taken off the hand painted Mr. Books sign which, by the way, was more than the original cost of the bike, the intention was to take her to her final resting place: my back garden. There she'd have become a feature and had plants growing around her and would have been able to live out the rest of her days in peace and tranquility with only the sounds of children playing, birds singing and squirrels squeaking. Later in the day I mentioned her plight to a regular customer in the shop but when we went out to have a look blow me down if the bike hadn't been nicked. I was flabbergasted that anyone would still want the wreckage of the poor old thing. You just can't keep anything if it's not nailed down can you. Still, look on the bright side, she weighed a ton and at least I didn't have to load her into the car to carry her home and, I suppose, in a way, someone will put her to good use again eventually. Here's the Tonbridge Blog tribute to her: 

Outside Tonbridge School for the Book Fair



On High Street duty in happier times!

En Fete for the Tour de France coming through Tonbridge

Even the thick snow just made her look prettier

Tonbridge High Street in the light of Mary Portas Report....

I don't know whether or not Queen of Shops, Mary Portas, visited Tonbridge during her pretty in depth study of the British High Street, as part of her work for the Government, but our town is certainly a case in point. Many of the factors blighting our own High Street can be seen in her report and recommendations which was published this morning. Expensive parking discouraging shoppers, too many charity shops, absent landlords all too willing to leave store units empty for years rather than reduce rents, a lack of joined up thinking by councils, too tight planning regulations, high business rates etc. etc. I won't go on because you can all read the report. I would certainly urge anyone with, or thinking or starting, a business in Tonbridge to have a read because, apart from any thing else, there's some great free advice in there. On the whole I found her report to be positive and optimistic about the future of the High Street so long as communities embrace them, shoppers spend more of their pounds in them and retailers get more creative and innovative....

The Leaning Christmas Tree of Tonbridge

My gosh those winds weren't half fierce last night. Bins blown over, rubbish strewn down the street. There's bound to be some roof tiles missing but it looks like my house escaped the worst of it. Which is more than can be said for the poor old Tonbridge Christmas tree next to the town bridge. It seems to have acquired a definite lean to it over night. I'm sure the council will be along to sort it out though before too long. 'ealth an' safety and all that!...

Farmers Market. The Best Way to Shop?

I went along to the Tonbridge Farmers Market on Sunday. On a very drizzly, cold, wet morning it was nice to see so many stall holders and visitors there even before 10am when I arrived.  I managed to pick up some bags of mixed apples and pears (at £1.70 for a huge bag full can't be bad!) Also went a bit mad on the cheese stall as usual, I do like that Lord of the Hundreds and Sussex Oak. I picked up some wonderful Christmas gift boxes of real ale from the Sussex Brewery stand and then some little stocking fillers from various craft stalls. Oh, and I even spent some money at organiser, Steve the Chilli Man's, stall. I bought some wickedly hot olives marinaded in evil strenth chilli sauce, mixed with some milder ones and sun dried tomatoes. Lovely stuff. £50 well spent I'd say and that is definitely my way to shop. You can keep your shopping malls and retail parks with their huge queues and hoards of shoppers desperate to get the latest toys. Give me a good outdoor market and a High Street any day. Right Mary Portas?!..

Tonbridge Farmers Market this Sunday...

In a Pickle for pressies? Try the Great Preservations Stall

It's December. It's nearly Christmas. It's the second weekend of the month. we know what that means don't we? The Tonbridge Farmers Market in this Sunday. There are nearly 70 stalls booked in for this ever expanding brilliant market. If it gets any bigger it will have to spill out of the car park at the back of Waitrose and along the pavements of Avenue Du Puy! What with it being a festive special theme there'll naturally be quite a few indepenedent breweries and vineyards coming along like: Big Tree Cider, Dudda's Tun Kentish Cider, Fallen Angel Brewery, Hepworth Brewery, Meopham Valley Vineyard, Pine Trees Farm Apple Juice, Rent a Cherry, Sedlescombe Organic Vineyard. You'll be able to buy your Christmas turkey there as well as masses of other foods for the season and the feast. There'll probably be more crafty type stalls there than usual so you could even go along and get most of your presnts there as well. It must be said that Steve, aka The Chilli Man, who organises the monthly event has done a fantastic job in making it so successful in such a short space of time. I for one can hardly wait!...

You Shall Go To the Ball....

Don't forget to book for Tonbridge's very own panto if you're stuck for something to do. I'm told it's going to be quite special. Details below. Best way to get tickets is to go along to the Angel Centre or phone the box office on 359966. See other events on at the Angel Centre....

Cinderella - Friday 16 & Saturday 17 December  Presented by Tonbridge Lions Club and produced by Clips Theatre Company, Cinderella tells the story of a young girl whose life is made a misery by her ugly sisters and wicked stepmother until, in true panto style, her dreams come true with the help of her Fairy Godmother.  Performances take place at 7.30pm on Friday 16 December and 1pm and 6pm on Saturday 17 December.  Each performance will raise much needed funds for local charities.
Tickets cost £10 for adults, £8 for children/concessions and £30 for a family ticket.  Places are limited, so please book early to avoid disappointment!  To book your tickets please contact the box office on 01732 359966.

Tonbridge Blog spat with Higgsworth continued....

Good to see that the Courier gave Tonbridge Blog the right to reply after their self-styled curmegeonly columnist, Higgsworth, had a dig at Tonbridge Blog after I'd taken a rather tame side swipe at his writing efforts. Okay I did refer to it as "pointless" but only in passing and with my tongue firmly in my cheek. So there really was no need for him to diss this blog by saying that I "hurled spite and bilge."  If I do it's always with good humour I'm sure you'll all agree. Anyway as I said in my letter to the KSC I actually intended no offence to Mr. H. as I do rather enjoy his weekly little rants. Here's the letter if you missed it:

Blogging can be a bit of a lonely experience at times. In fact often you don't always know who, if anyone, is reading it or, indeed, whether there's much point to it at all. So it's always nice to get feedback of any kind, this time, from the unlikely source of your Higgsworth column. A couple of weeks back I had a little side swipe at Mr. Higgsworth who had taken exception to my referring to his column as "pointless." It was only a light-hearted passing comment on my blog in a piece about my dislike for the way fireworks night has been stretched into weeks and weeks and I was actually referring to the curmudgeonly style I myself had adopted for this particular post which had made me sound a little like Higgsworth. It seems to have struck a bit of a raw nerve though with Mr. H. as he apears to have had a real go at Tonbridge Blog in his offering in the Courier last week, saying that TonbridgeBlog thrashes his keyboard to hurl "spite and bilge." Woah there Mr. H. no offence mate, calm down, because actually, in truth, I quite enjoy reading your weekly little rants and feel that there's probably a brighter personality just itching to get out of that self imposed curmudgeonly straight jacket! Let's meet up for a Christmas drink and I'll forgive you!

TonbridgeBlog  

December Tonbridge Insider out now....

Hope you've already received a copy of the new look Tonbridge Insider through your letterbox. There should be 5,000 copies dropping on door mats around about now but, if you don't get hold of your copy, then fear not. You can pick one up from a number of places including the Library, Mr. Books, various newsagents and other shops and sandwich bars. It's always worth a read, especially my bit of course!...

One for the kids of Tonbridge....

Question: What goes "oh, oh, oh?"

Answer.... Santa walking backwards!

Question: How can a snowman lose weight?

Answer.... He waits till it gets warmer!

These and many more childrens jokes can be found on the Woodlands Junior School web site. (A word of warning though. Grown ups might find themselves chuckling as well!)

All I want for Christmas is to watch the Tonbridge Rock Choir....

I wasn't able to make it along to the Christmas lights switch on last weekend but, having seen these clips of the Tonbridge Rock Choir, I wish I had been able to. Watch these and the others on YouTube if you want to get in the festive mood. The sound quality is just good enough to get the feeling of what it's like to see them live. Watching this and having watched Gareth Malone's South Oxhey revisited the other night on the telly makes me want to oil my vocal chords and get out there for a sing song. There's two things the Government can't take away from us during these times of austerity: Laughter and Singing. And they're both free!...

Tonbridge and Sevenoaks Street(un)wise...

A new magazine just popped through my shop letter box. In fact the November and December issues both popped through at the same time. It's called Streetwise and, without wishing to be unkind, it just looks like a it's full of advertisements which are strung together with a load of nonsense editorial. I mean total nonsense; unfunny jokes and photos which have little or no value. It looks like a cynical way to tap the local advertising dollar. I do of course declare an interest in that I write a monthly page in The Tonbridge Insider but, really, that has nothing to do with my first impression of this rag. Surely content should count for something, a bit of relevant editorial here, a heart warming story about a local personality there. At least The Insider attempts to inform, educate and entertain a little doesn't it? Streetunwise could, and most probably does, have the  same editorial (if you can call it that) in any other town. They are just repeating words to save costs and distribute it in as many unsuspecting towns as they can before they're found out. It has no relevance to Tonbridge or Seveenoaks at all. The magazine  proclaims itself as "The Funny Little Local Mag." A pointless waste of paper is what I call it! It makes The News of the World look like Newsweek Magazine....