Dragon Boat Racer anyone??..

Love the sound of the Tonbridge Taster Day and especially the Dragon Boat race. If only I had a crew to latch on to. Me being an experienced canoeist, veteran of at least three dragon boat regattas 6' 2" and built like a brick, er hem, out house and all. Any takers? Or are you scared of the competition?!..

PS. Have the Town Team got a web site? If so can they let me know it and I'll post a link....

Scallies!...

I'm afraid this is one of only a few words I can think of to describe the low life scum who robbed the Hospices of Hope Charity shop at the north end of Tonbridge High Street last week, as reported in the Courier newspaper in today's issue. This piece of pond life brazenly asked the staff in the shop if he could use the upstairs toilet and then proceded to ransack the office for cash and help himself to the money in the cafe till. He took advantage of the fact that there are quite a few volunteers there and lots of comings and goings. Most probably he had been a work experience "volunteer" there himself at some point and had used it as an opportunity to case the joint as it were. It's a sad part of life that scallies like this exist at all and I for one wish it weren't so. The recession and hard times stories are just no excuse. This crime is only marginally up from robbing an old granny of her handbag....

A young couple walk hand in hand in Tonbridge....

The other day in Tonbridge I saw something I'd never seen before in the 24 years that I've lived in the town. As I walked through the shopping arcade I saw two young men walking hand in hand. Not overtly petting or hugging or snogging or anything really other than just holding hands in a way which clearly showed that they were a couple. Having been born in the early 1960s when, in point of fact, homosexuality was still, technically at least, illegal, was I supposed to feel, even in some small way, remotely shocked or disgusted or feel any sense of revulsion? Well if I was then I certainly didn't. In fact, it looked just normal and actually quite sweet. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it looked no different than any other hetrosexual young couple holding hands otherwise I probably wouldn't have felt moved to write anything here about it but it did make me feel quite warm inside that they felt confident enough in themselves, in Tonbridge town centre that day,to just express their tenderness for each other in such a natural way. It made me feel quite proud, even if just fleetingly, that we live in an infinitely more tolerant society to the one in which I grew up. I walked past them and they probably didn't even notice me, and why would they? I don't really wish to open the can of worms which is the debate about gay marriage, and I have no idea what the Tonbridge churches' view on the subject is, but seeing this apparently very loving normal young couple, obviously in love, did make me wonder what the problem would be....

Happy Birthday Tonbridge Farmers Market....

If anything desrves a plug then it's our town's farmer's market. Here's the press release from organiser Steve "The Chilli Man" Wood....

Tonbridge Farmers Market 9th June, our 2nd Birthday and we've been to the Houses of Parliament

 

Tonbridge Farmers Market

Tonbridge Farmers Market 9th June, our 2nd Birthday and we've been to the Houses of Parliament Second Sunday of every month Sovereign Way, Tonbridge TN9 1RG 9.30am – 1.30pm With over 65 stalls booked in already this month, it is going to be the biggest market in Kent, and we are two. It's two years since the first Tonbridge Farmers Market. On that 1st Sunday back in June 2011 we had absolutely no idea if the people of Tonbridge would support or even wanted a farmers market. Well two years and over 50,000 customers on, we think we know the answer, an unmistakeable yes. In this short time we have be become the biggest and best supported Farmers Market in Kent and probably the South of England. We have been runner up in the Taste of Kent awards, Best Farmers Market category. We have also been nominated and short listed for the BBC Food and Farming Awards. Market manager Steve Wood said “ it's great to be successful. It's even better when you and others love what you do” “Lets see if the next year will be just as exciting for us and our customers.” And don't forget it's carnival day as well, what a great day to be in Tonbridge.   Westminster “Taste of Kent” day showcases best of local Kent produce   Tonbridge Farmers Market with it's sister market, Elm Court, and some of our producers were invited to Westminster by Tracy Crouch MP on the 15th May to promote Kent Produce. Kent MPs in association with Visit Kent and Produced in Kent held an event in the Jubilee Rooms at the Palace of Westminster. Jo Reid from Jo's Cakes, Matthew Kearsey-Lawson with Harriot Wood from Kent Fine Foods and Steve Wood from the market went along to tempt MPs, Westminster staff and members of the public to some of our wonderful produce. There was plenty of interest in the produce and the market. Steve Wood said “I hope this event will boost the profile of our market, farmers markets in general and of course Kent and Kent produce. We were all looking forward to meeting the Prime Minister, but he was in the USA so sent this message to all of us”. “I am delighted that Kent's producers have come to Parliament today to showcase some of their high-quality local produce. I am sorry that prior commitments abroad mean that I am unable to join you today - I was particularly looking forward to being able to sample the honey brought to London by the Dartford Beekeepers, which I’m told is truly delicious! I am sure that today's event will offer an opportunity to celebrate Kent's fantastically diverse agricultural sector and will, I hope, promote the county’s producers as they continue to flourish. I wish all those producers who have travelled to London to showcase their produce - and all involved - my very best wishes for an enjoyable and successful day.” Other guests that did come and see us on the day included Justice Minister (and Kent MP) Helen Grant, Minister for Agriculture and Food David Heath, the Head of Catering at the House of Commons, and the key architect behind the plans for the Swanscombe Peninsula Theme Park, Tony Sefton.   The Market Kitchen As always, cookery demonstrations will run with what's in season right now. Future markets and events at the market will include. ·         14th July 2013 ·         11th August 2013 ·         8th September 2013 ·         13th October 2013 Pink Sunday. Raising money for Breast Cancer Care. Customers dressed in something pink will have 10% of all the money they spend today donated to this cause. And lots more pink stuff. ·         10th November 2013 Love Cheese. A celebration of local cheese. ·         8th December 2013 Christmas Drinks Special. Local drinks to make your Christmas go off with a bang ·         12th January 2014 Farmhouse Breakfast Market ·         9th February 2014 Scallop Sunday ·         9th March 2014 Seedy Sunday ·         13th April 2014 The Big Curry. With the help of our customers some of the producers are raising money for the Big Curry which is part of the Soldiers Benevolent Fund. ·         11th May 2014 Love your Local Market ·         8th June 2014 Our 3rd Birthday You can now follow what the market is up to on Twitter @TonbridgeFmMrkt , Facebook and Flickr. Follow the links from our website.   Customers wishing to get a reminder for the market can do so by emailing steve@tonbridgefarmersmarket.co.uk and just put “reminder” in the subject box or for a text reminder, text “Tonbridge” to 07557739903. Photos. We now have a good selection. You can view these on our flickr page, http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonbridgefarmersmarket/ These photos are for your use. If higher resolution photos are needed please contact us. Contact details are Steve Wood 07876 685853 steve@tonbridgefarmersmarket.co.uk www.tonbridgefarmersmarket.co.uk

Tonbridge Sausages!!!!

I've just had a bit of a late lunch. Left over sausages from yesterday's barbeque in my garden actually, if you must know. Doesn't sound very appetizing? Think again. These weren't just any sausages, and they weren't succulent M&S sausages before you ask, they were in fact Tonbridge Sausages! Yes that's right such a thing does exist and Chatfield's, the new butchers next to McD's has only gone and reinvented them.  Mr. Chatfield recommended them to me in the shop yesterday (yes they were going the extra mile by being open on a bank holiday Monday) and he did tell me some of the secret recipe but obviously I can't divulge that kind of information without you agreeing to let me kill you afterwards! Suffice it to say that they are truely de lish cious! Even cold in a sandwich the next day they are out of this world. The Kent Burgers and Hadlow Sausages and, come to think of it, the chicken breast and everything else weren't at all bad either....

Pursued by Bishops....

Edwin Apps was at Mr. Books for a book signing event last Saturday and he was a lovely chap. He's 82 now and has been living in France for nearly forty years but once upon a time people used to recognize him and wave from the bus as he wandered down Piccadilly or Shaftesbury Avenue. In the 1950s and 60s he was a well known face on TV and in the theatre. His main claim to fame is his TV comedy creation, All Gas And Gaiters, which was a sit com based in a Cathedral. Edwin is now an artist and was over in Tonbridge for an exhibition which was held in the Parish Church and Tygers Head, the Tudor house down Church Lane. Appropriate venues really when you consider that the theme of the exhibition and indeed the title of Mr. Apps' autobiography was Pursued By Bishops. It was great to meet Edwin, his lovely partner, Josette, and his publisher Patrick who visited my shop I think every day last week and became one of my best customers! I was so impressed with Edwin's art that I even treated myself to one of them, although not a bishop inspired painting. Well it was my birthday last week! At the book signing he didn't just sign the books he even went as far as drawing some random pictures of mad pursuing bishops in some of them. He really is a man obsessed, or possessed! I have a few copies left in Mr. Books should anyone feel the urge to own one....

Should Tonbridge have its own version of the Cheese Race?...

After having heard that the cheese race in Gloucester has gone ahead in spite of health and safety nutters trying to ban the traditional annual event Tonbridge Blog got to thinking that maybe there should be a Tonbridge equivalent. Maybe it would be pomtastic to have an annual apple fight or a cherry smearing-wrestling competition (sound a little fruity for you?!) Or maybe a hopping race around the country lanes because it would be a play on words like hopping on one foot and hops as in hop picking and what you put in your beer and it might be fun... oh suit yourselves. You have a go then. It's harder than you might think coming up with a new country tradition!...

Crackers....

Nowt to do with Tonbridge but I hear that the annual cheese rolling race has been the subject of the dreaded 'ealth n safety inspectors. Now admittedly the competitors have to be pretty loony to chase down a very steep hill after an 8lb piece of Double Gloucester but surely that's up to them isn't it? If they want to risk life and limb for an age old tradition then who are few namby pamby modern safety inspectors to stand in their way. Well this year the event did go ahead but without the cheese! They used a fake piece made of foam rubber instead. The lady at the traditional cheese supplier was apparently threatened with police action if she was deemed to be, in any way, an organiser which they reckoned she would be for supplying the cheese. How ludicrous can you get. The event goes ahead but without the vital savoury ingredient it's just crackers! It's not quite the Pampolono Bull Run but people come from all over the world for the event so leave them to get a few bruses and scrapes. It's hardly the Wicker Man is it! You can't mess with these harmless country traditions because people will simply take the law, and the cheese into their own hands....

PO Off today....

Don't be caught out, as I was, taking heavy packages along to Tonbridge central Post Office today only to find out that they're closed all day. Industrial action is the reason. Not sure what they are taking the action over but, if I worked there I think I'd also find any excuse I could just to get out of the God forsaken place. I wouldn't mind so much but I'd made a special trip on my bike in the rain to get something in the post. Oh what's the point in moaning about it....

Edwin Apps in Tonbridge this week....

Well worth a visit is the Edwin Apps art exhibition at both the Parish Church for the Pilgrim's Progress series of paintings and Pursued By Bishops at The Tygers Head which is that lovely Tudor house half way down Church Lane. It's on till Saturday I believe. Pursued By Bishops is also the title of Edwin Apps' autobiography which is currently on sale pretty much exclusively in Mr. Books. In fact Edwin will be at the bookshop signing copies and talking to fans on Saturday form 2pm to 6pm. He's a lovely guy who has a great story to tell particularly about theatre and TV comedy of the 1950s to 70s. His claim to fame is that he created the hit comedy TV and radio series called All Gas and Gaiters starring a wonderfully bumbling young priest played by Dereck Nimmo. Only a few episodes survive, because the Beeb wiped many of them, but have a look on YouTube for some funny moments from the series if you get a moment. More information on the exhibition and book signing can be found here....

Worth Contesting Traffic Offences?...

Some readers of this blog may recall a few weeks ago that I was sent a Penalty Charge Notice from Camden Borough Council after having been caught red handed in what I think they like to call a "box junction." You know those traffic lights with a yellow or is it orange grid across them. Call them what you like they are a licence for the authorities to print money. Being controlled by a Big Brother-esque camera in the sky which takes photos and a video of your vehicle from all angles they have you bang to rights, done up like a kipper. There's nowhere to hide they are police, judge, jury and executioner. Or so you'd have thought for, as it turns out, they've let me off the hook. I'd written off £195 which is what the "fine" had risen to as a result of me daring to challenge the notice  and thought, at the very least, they'd sting me for the original charge of £65. But I appear to have got off probably the only way possible: on an administrative technicality. It seems that because their online system was down on the day I made my challenge and that they may have given me an incorrect email address I have escaped all punishment. At least I believe that's their reasoning because all they actually say is that, words to the effect, They haven't met the normal high standards expected of Camden Borough Council parking services. I feel like a man on death row who's just had the call from the Home Office! Well not quite, obviously, but I did feel an almighty sense of relief when I opened the letter. But should I have been put through all that stress just to help a London borough council rake in some more loot. It still stinks to High Heaven but, nonetheless, I'll take it as a bit of a result....

A little bit of politics....

The Thatcher books have been selling well I have to say. In fact I've sold several copies overseas as well as the one's before and after Charles Moore, the author's, signing at Mr. Books. It seems that some folk don't mind paying full price for a signed copy of this particular book. The more I read of it, and I was far from being a fan of the late Margaret Thatcher, the more I think that it will go down as a very serious and thorough account of her life. I'm sure that Charles intended it to be exactly that as each piece of evidence, each archive, is carefully footnoted so that historians, ever after, can verify and perhaps expand upon this information. The book reminds me a little of some of the academic journals and papers I read when studying Economic History at university all those years ago. It may even be judged a masterpiece of biographical writing one day. That said I wouldn't necessarily take The Authorized Biography as your beach time holiday reading unless of course you want to appear intellectual or else you want  to wear your political leanings on your sleeve. But it is worth spending some time wading through its 859 pages. And that's just volume one!...

Birthday Blues....

Unbelieveably I'm 51 years old today. I know some of you are thinking "How does he do it? Is he using harmony hair spray and Oil of Ulay?" Well, the answer is no I just sell books and enjoy my work. That's what keeps me so young looking! Every so often though, and I'm sure all people of a certain age have done the same, I look in a mirror or at my reflection in a shop window and it catches me unawares. You know what I'm talking about: that split second when you think "Who is that old fella staring at me?" Then of course you quickly realise that the old fella is in fact you!
I remember the days when I used to feel so excited about my birthday that I'd be bursting with joy for days if not weeks before. Then I grew up and, as the years passed by the birthdays became that bit less exciting and gradually quite depressing. So, I'm sorry to be such a kill joy but I'll just quietly get on with my day at the shop and hope that no one knows or makes a fuss if it's all the same. On the other hand I have blogged about it so now everyone knows that IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Over 100 beers coming soon to Tonbridge....

The rugby season is all but over and I understand that the Tonbridge Juddians, better known as the Mighty TJs, had another decent season. Consolidation was the aim and I reckon that's what was achieved by all accounts. Which all means that it must be almost time for the SIBA Beer Festival which the club organises and hosts. Over a hundred different real ales and ciders all in a row all waiting to be sampled and consumed. A marquee and some keen young men and women to serve us up these hoppy delights. Burgers sizzling away on the barbe. What's not to like? The posters are already up outside the TJs carpark and it's all happening on the weekend of July 12th to 14th. My mouth is watering at the thought of it and I'm counting down the days....

PS on the Thatcher Biography....

I had one of those nit picky type conversations, which having a bookshop encourages, the other day regarding the spelling of Authorized in the title of Charles Moore's book, Margaret Thatcher The Authorized Biography. So is it spelled with a "z" of an "s"? Which does, rather irritatingly, remind me of that awful Liza Minelli song about Liza with a zee not Lisa with an s cos Lisa with an s goes ssss. But, in a way the song helps because the word authorized should sound like authorized with a zee because otherwise it it would be, phonetically at least, like "authoriced"wouldn't it? Anyway, whatever you and I think the authority on the subject, namely the Oxford English Dictionary, has it with a zed so that's good enough for me. I can't remember the exact episode but I also recall that knowledge of the correct spelling of this type of word once assisted Inspector Morse in solving a murder enquiry. Does any of this matter? Should we just let people spell words like Privatize and Incentivize however they choose and let the English language evolve or should we stand up and eulogize?  Let TBlog know your thoughts....

Edwin Apps in Tonbridge....

I met Edwin Apps in Mr. Books yesterday. He of All Gas and Gaiters fame (I can just about vaguely remember Dereck Nimmo playing a vicar in the comedy series.) He has an exhibition of his art starting on Saturday at the Parish Church and all week in Church Lane and then a book signing on Sat. May 25th 2pm to 6pm at my shop. He seems like a lovely chap but I was struck by him not knowing what a 50p coin was. He had a perfectly spoken English accent which made you fully expect him to know our coinage. But you see Edwin has been an artist living in South West France for nearly 40 years and hardly ever comes over here. I really like the look of his paintings myself and will definitely be going to take a peek. Find out more HERE

Beware the Orange Grids!....

Now we all know that we're not supposed to enter the dreaded orange (or are they yellow?) grids unless we're pretty certain that we won't end up sitting in the middle of it if they traffic is snarled up ahead once the lights change. We all know that don't we? I can see the logic of this in that, obviously, we don't want to block a busy junction. But entering one in London can be very costly indeed so do so at your peril. Coming back from Bloomsbury Book Fair a couple of months back I had to stop very suddenly just inside one such a grid on Southampton Row. I swear that I wasn't causing any sort of a blockage because, really, it was just the front end of my car that was inside the grid. The London Borough of Camden Council didn't quite see it like that though. In fact they slapped me with £130 fine or Penalty Charge Notice (PCN) as they like to call it. They send you a photo of your car in the grid with a freeze frame of the elapsed time as "proof" of your dastardly act. You see they have cameras watching you from every angle at these junctions so that they can catch you out and rake in lots of cash, er, sorry I mean keep the traffic flowing. They like to encourage you to pay up early do Camden Borough Council so they incentivize you by offering to halve the PCN payment if you cough up within seven days. Being a man of principle though I, naturally, felt incensed by this outrage and set about to challenge the notice. I couldn't do it online as their system was down at the time so I elected to send in my challenge to the notice by email, which they duly didn't receive for some reason. This challenge, whilst still ongoing, is likely to result in my fine increasing to £195 all for the heinous "crime" of having my nose in an orange/yellow grid. They also threaten you with sending in bailiffs should you not comply. Someone tells me that just one of these Big Brother controlled junctions generates revenues of over £1 million for one lucky London borough council, and I can well believe it, so there's no wonder they're so ubiquitous. They are an outrage and I cannot see how they can possibly encourage trade or visitors to the capital. They cause nothing but fear and a bad taste in the mouth but it seems, in Camden at least, they are police, judge, jury and indeed executioner. Beware the grids!....

Leave the car at home today....

Not so good this morning coming into work. Now bear in mind here that I can walk to Mr. Books in around 23 minutes or cycle it in around 8 minutes. This morning I had to drop some boxes off, as I often do, on the way in to Lok n Store on Canon Lane so had no choice but to drive. Anyone who's been down there over the last week or so will know that there is a little set of road works narrowing the busy road into one lane controlled by a couple of blokes let loose on a set of traffic lights. They look harmless enough. The result though? Chaos! I then had to post several large parcels containing mostly the Maggie Thatcher biographies which had been signed at Mr. Books on Saturday by Charles Moore himself (scroll down for more on that story) and, let me tell you, it is one hefty tome. So, on leaving the storage depot, I had a simple choice: did I turn left and go through the lights of the road works to go to Higham Lane Post Office or do I turn right and go to the busy central PO and pay the 50p fee in the Sainsbury's car park for 10 minutes of parking? I made the classic wrong choice. Went to Higham Lane and, on the way, noticed a queue of traffic stretching nearly back to Hadlow. On the way back to the centre of Tonbridge I played smart and cut through Romney Way and the grandly named Royal West Kent Avenue to eventually reach Shipbourne Road. The traffic jam, presumably because of the knock on effect from Hadlow Road was almost as bad as if I'd just come back that way. In fact it took me over half an hour to get back to the High Street from Martin Hardy Way which would normally take less than five. All for a piddling little set of roadworks on Canon Lane. Good advert for leaving the car at home if you can....

The Pages ARE for Turning....

The Charles Moore book signing event at Mr. Books Bookshop went okay I guess. To be perfectly honest I expected a much better turn out though as let's face it, there must be millions of Maggie Thatcher fans around these parts. Was it that they didn't know about the event or was it the rainy morning that put them off. Certainly the lack of column inches given to the eminent ex-editor of The Spectator, Sunday and Daily Telegraph's visit to Tonbridge to sign his already famous Margaret Thatcher The Authorized Biography by the Kent and Sussex Courier wouldn't have helped. I never expect them to print anything and am always grateful for any kind of publicity for events I'm involved with so I suppose I should thank the reporters for the little paragraph they gave it. I couldn't help but notice though that Tunbridge Wells Football Club's trip to Wembley for some spurious play off trophy match against that great football team on everyone's lips, Spennymoor Town, managed to get an eight page colour special centre page souvenir pull out in the same issue of the paper complete with photos of a mostly empty stadium in the background! No doubt the sponsors forked out for that one! Anyway I still managed to sell about 40 copies of the Thatcher biography and have sold several since. There are still some signed copies left should anyone want one at the discounted price of £25. Actually I'm reading the book at the moment and it does look like being an important historical account of Lady Thatcher's life and not at all the gushing praise you'd be forgiven for expecting. Don't all rush at once....

Sainsbury's and Beales fall out of bed....

Thanks for all the comments about the Tonbridge Loyalty Card and Angel Centre developments. Incidentally I did mention on this blog that there was a rumour that Beales might be closing down. A post which enticed the Chief Executive of Beales to make a comment below the post which effectively issued a strong denial that this was the case. This was about two years ago so is it just possible that early negotiations between Sainsbury's and Beales had already begun at that time. Was it these discussions, if they took place, which sparked off the rumours? We'll probably never know since it's unlikely that, were it true, they'd ever come clean on the matter....

Thoughts on the proposed Tonbridge Loyalty Card....

Do we need a Tonbridge loyalty card? As a little aside it does amuse me that TLC is the abbreviated version of Tonbridge Loyalty Card but maybe, inadvertantly, they've struck the right note because, let's face it, our town is in urgent need of some TLC!  Lots of shops already have their own loyalty card schemes of course. Mr. Books has had one, Cycle-ops has one and certainly the new butchers has trialed one very successfully since its opening. But would a town wide scheme work? How would it be practically managed. It is one of the ideas being looked at by the Tonbridge Town Team/Business Alliance very seriously. Though dwindling in numbers over recent years, a meeting of many of the independent traders of Tonbridge was held last week to discuss the options. I didn't attend it myself but, as I understand it, some positive things came out of it albeit after some fairly lively discussion about the merits of the new plans for the town centre developments. But that's another story. My first instinct is that loyalty cards are a little old hat; but is that me just being an old cynic? How could it work though if every trader wanted something slightly different? One retailer may have more margin to play with than another. 10% off a high ticket item such as some furniture or a bike would clearly be more to consider than off cards or at the butchers. I think that I'm slowly coming round to the idea that such a scheme might help publicise the independent shops in the town but I am concerned that the take up from shoppers wouldn't be that great and I doubt whether it would actually have the effect of drawing shoppers to Tonbridge from other towns. So do I want to spend the proposed forty quid to find out? That is the question. But that's just my thoughts; what about yours....

Charles Moore, Margaret Thatcher The Authorized Biography, Book Signing Event at Mr. Books Saturday 11th May....

Thankfully the scaffolding has now been taken down from outside Mr. Books and Clarke and Coleman Chemists. After six weeks it had started to seriously effect trade as potential customers could be seen giving it a wide berth and, in the process, not seeing the wonderful window display efforts of Mrs. Books! I've made strong hints to my landlord for compensation in the form of stopping the rent for a month but so far he hasn't bitten!
Back to normal then for me. Whatever normal is of course! One thing I said to myself I'd do when moving onto the High Street last June was to hold more events at the shop. "Mr. Books" I said, "You must hold more events at the shop...." I'd already had a few signing events at the old shop of course, such as Victoria Hislop and some local authors, but they were all a little low key probably due to my location being tucked away in Bank Street. Then came Anthony Horowitz and a two hour queue to get into Mr. Books. Yes, though I still pinch myself to make sure that I'm not dreaming, it really did happen. I've put many irons in the fire since then and can now announce that Charles Moore will be coming to the shop on Saturday 11th May from 10-30am to 12pm to meet readers and sign copies of his much publicized book Margaret Thatcher The Authorized Biography. I'm really quite excited about the whole thing. So if you were a fan of The Iron Lady or even if you just want to talk to someone who had exclusive access to many documents and interviews with Mrs. T's close collegues come along on the morning.

The book will be on sale at the discounted price of £25 and you'll also receive a £5 voucher to spend on your following visit to Mr. Books. See you there hopefully. More details here