Tonbridge Open Studios....

I managed to visit several of the South East Open Studios in the Tonbridge area over the weekend and was mightily impressed with many of them. In fact it was a lovely peaceful way to spend my Fathers Day morning. I particularly enjoyed going to Hadlow as there is a little cluster of studios in the village centre which you can get round in less than an hour if you're pushed for time. A couple of them even had tea, coffee and cakes for sale at school fete type prices.  The studio which really stuck out for me, even if just for the beautiful garden, was Lucy Prescott at Natal House in the shadow of the Hadlow Castle tower. Even the drizzly rain didn't stop my enjoyment of looking at some really quite striking glass and metal sculptures majestically sprouting from the flower beds and hanging from tree branches. Open Studios is a smashing idea where the public can just visit without appointments at the allotted times in the programme (you can of course view them online if you prefer) see artists at work, get tips on how to improve techniques or even buy some of their works. Most are still open this weekend so go and take a peek for yourselves....

What's In the Tonbridge Mirror this week?

 

 Hope you like this new innovation. It is, quite literally, a Mirror of Tonbridge which is used in Mr. Books as a What's On type notice board. Originally it just happened to be a spare space in the shop but I thought it was quite appropriate to let it "mirror" what's going on in the town. I'll probably make this a regularly updated post. Oh look I see in the Tonbridge Mirror that it's A Taste of Tonbridge day this Sunday with Dragon Boat Racing and market stalls all up and down the High Street. Soon the Tonbridge Arts Festival will be upon us with it's shows on the Castle Lawn and talks at K College. Then in the Tonbridge Mirror there's a music Festival called Music on the Hill later in July. What's that you say? That's Kings Hill? Well it's still Tonbridge and Malling Borough isn't it?! Apparently it's worth the ten mile trek over that way as well so I'm told. Keep looking in the Tonbridge Mirror to see what you can see....

 

Do I enter again or not?

Tonbridge Half Marathon 2013 Sunday 22nd September   In support of the Dame Kelly Holmes Legacy Trust, Carers First and other local charities

Warning: Tunbridge Wells folk realise Tonbridge is better!....

Some fellow bloggers from over the border in the upstart daughter town,Tunbridge Wells, have written nice things about Tonbridge. The Anke's a couple, who each have an influential blog on their adopted town, sort of a His and Hers of the blogsphere, came a for a visit last week and Mrs. A has posted a lovely write up of their visit and some even lovelier photos including one of Yours Truely. The new Turkish Restaurant gets a big thumbs up as well. Yes it's true Mr. & Mrs A we have a park and a swimming pool, a castle and much older buildings than your quaint young town. We also have shops, some of them nice independent ones, and some very nice eateries.They are very welcome to come and visit our town any time they like but let's hope that they don't spread the word about Tonbridge too much. I mean we don't want a full scale invasion now do we! Read it here 

Favourite Takeaways anyone?...

Some of my favourite takeways like The Daily Rice and Avebury Avenue Fish and Chip shop have already been mentioned on Tonbridge Blog over the years but what are yours? Let's hear what the best are in Tonbridge. Are they charging too much or is it about right. How often can we afford them? Are they healthy or should we make the effort to cook every day so we know what we're eating? Are so called free deliveries really free if these food businesses give you a discount to collect or is this just a clever ruse? When you can easily spend £50 on a family curry or Chinese carry out isn't this stretching the budget too far? Nothing like putting businesses in the spotlight to improve services and quality!...

The Ghost of John Adams Bookshop!...

This is a letter sent by Doug Jeffers, who some readers will remember was for many years the owner of John Adams Bookshop which was opposite the Post Office, to Shepherds Directory which publishes an influential weekly newsletter for the rare and secondhand book trade. Although it is somewhat off the wall, to say the least, it does raise some serious questions which we are all aware the High Street is facing thanks to much publicized campaigns from the likes of Mary Portas. Doug closed down John Adams a few years ago sighting the opening of Oxfam Bookshop as his main reason for leaving Tonbridge. He decided instead to concentrate his efforts on his Balham bookshop which, sadly, he's now decided to close as well. Here's his letter to Shepherds:

Business Rates We are closing very soon after 23 years.
  The reasons are the depredations caused by large corporations, facilitated by the free-ride given them by governments of every stripe. The first lesson of the 'Free Market' is that that there is no such thing. The 'big battalions' which can do a job for government are given privileged status: financial institutions, private utilities, supermarkets, internet and phone companies all facilitate the retreat of the state and herald the 'Corporate State'. Mussolini must be smiling up or down as his dreams are being fulfilled!
  So I am closing down because:

  1. At my last rent review, coffee shops like Starbucks were mentioned as a comparator - this is a surprise as they are a struggling company which hasn't made a profit for 13 years! But they do useful work in giving our under-employed MPs somewhere to sit and wi-fi their John Lewis catalogue.

  2. The rent goes up, the rateable value goes-up. Landlord's profits go up and mine go down so illogically (curiouser and curiouser) I more tax and rates! If landlords had to pay this tax, it would slow their hand when it came to raising rents and their huge lobbying influence would stay the hand of government from raising rates. The rentier economy - the property boom - got us into this mess in the first place and now the present government is squeezing the last dregs out of retailers to make us pay the deficit. Something like 26 billion p.a. is paid in commercial rates!
  They have deliberately raised the multiplier to 45% and moved the revaluation back two years because businesses are prisoners of a lease-system where upward-only rent clauses are prevalent and tolerated in law and landlords costs are mitigated by service-charges and often a 'hidden rent'. Lease holding rate-payers are low-hanging fruit for the government, because unlike Starbucks and Amazon, and other privileged cosmopolitan aristocrats of the economy, the bailiffs can visit their address without a plane-ticket and international warrant.

3. But it's not that the government doesn't care. Tony Blair's 'sofa government' has been improved by feeling-down the back of the sofa for the TV remote control. Out-of-touch MPs - Eton, PPE at Oxford who have never had a proper job - can find out about today's Britain by watching reality TV (which amounts to about 75% of programmes these days) and then get the 'experts' (someone who's been on TV) to fix the country for them - Jamie Oliver, Sir Alan (three bags full!) or Mary Portas. Poor Mary - the unscrupulous con-men in government pushed her out into the tumbleweed 'high streets' with a few pantomime horse outfits and a whole Million Pounds in her little purse. As Noel Edmunds would say "a life-changing amount of money." (compare 25 billion).  Our pantomime horse outfit never arrived (and anyway I'm not going to be the back-end and that's final!) so we are shutting-down.
  Did I mention my rates have increase by 125% in three years and that I pay considerably more per square metre than the Sainsbury superstore next door?
  Wouldn't starting zoning from the back of the shop be closer to a progressive taxation- system especially in these days of 'click and collect' which is making warehouse space as valuable as high street frontage?

4. I'm so angry about the insult of the rates I nearly forgot 'Oxazon'! Amazon, as it is widely known as, struggled for more than eight years before they made a profit. Yes, I know, us booksellers are pushing for that record at the moment.
  Someone up there in the great candy floss machine of the money market kept dipping their stick in to keep them going until they achieved monopoly position. Meanwhile, they trailed the great wooden horse of internet bookselling up to our ramparts and we all rushed and pulled the necrotic parasitic beast inside.
  For us 'second-handers' while Amazon was delivering crushing volleys of lefts and rights to the body a new corporate giant arose from an unexpected quarter: the Big Society.
  Oxfam fervently abandoned its conscience domestically and joined the capitalism game. They employing a big-hitter from the city who rolled out a chain of 'Conranised white cubes' which chimed with the minimalised modernity of middle-class culture - more and more of less an less. If they claim innocence of delivering the knock-out blow to second-hand bookselling, they are at least guilty of holding the bully's coat and delivering sly and sickening kicks to our ankles.

5. Apart from the weather having a nervous break-down this year, our shop has had other severe environmental problems. As soon as the snow clears or torrential rain stops, the privatised utilities, or the railway, or TFL, or somebody arrives to dig up the pavement outside, and palisade the shop against passing trade. Obligingly, at quiet times - like Christmas.
  As TV cook fans will know, freshly-dug trenches have to be 'proved' like dough for several weeks before they can be worked on, and allowed to settle for a similar period afterwards before they can be filled-in. This gives the prisoner time to try to claim for collateral damages such as broken windows and ringing up Paris to find out when the hole might be filled in. Isn't business so cosmopolitan these days? They even have a French phrase for the powers that these organisations have over you - 'droits de seigneur' which, I believe, has vulgar sexual connotations.

5. Mrs Thatcher abolished UBR to stop Commie-councils from raping business with exploitative business rates to pay for the feckless poor. And so our story ends where we began, except that it's the government that is raping businesses to bail-out the feckless rich.

6. So if the government would only start looking after the voting-tax payer and stop playing little boys games: if it could lose its fascination with things 'big'; big funerals, big Olympics, big London, big 'small wars', big society, big business, big ideologies (yes, free-market is an ideology) and provide some bigger government for small business, perhaps, as even Lord Young has recently claimed, we could start to cure our economic woes from the bottom-up by soaking-up unemployment. The 'clones' might get less of a kicking from the 'clowns'.

To booksellers everywhere 'Good-bye and Good luck'. Doug Jeffers - MY Back Pages, Balham - and yes Closing sale Now On!

Dragon Boat Racer anyone??..

Love the sound of the Tonbridge Taster Day and especially the Dragon Boat race. If only I had a crew to latch on to. Me being an experienced canoeist, veteran of at least three dragon boat regattas 6' 2" and built like a brick, er hem, out house and all. Any takers? Or are you scared of the competition?!..

PS. Have the Town Team got a web site? If so can they let me know it and I'll post a link....

Scallies!...

I'm afraid this is one of only a few words I can think of to describe the low life scum who robbed the Hospices of Hope Charity shop at the north end of Tonbridge High Street last week, as reported in the Courier newspaper in today's issue. This piece of pond life brazenly asked the staff in the shop if he could use the upstairs toilet and then proceded to ransack the office for cash and help himself to the money in the cafe till. He took advantage of the fact that there are quite a few volunteers there and lots of comings and goings. Most probably he had been a work experience "volunteer" there himself at some point and had used it as an opportunity to case the joint as it were. It's a sad part of life that scallies like this exist at all and I for one wish it weren't so. The recession and hard times stories are just no excuse. This crime is only marginally up from robbing an old granny of her handbag....

A young couple walk hand in hand in Tonbridge....

The other day in Tonbridge I saw something I'd never seen before in the 24 years that I've lived in the town. As I walked through the shopping arcade I saw two young men walking hand in hand. Not overtly petting or hugging or snogging or anything really other than just holding hands in a way which clearly showed that they were a couple. Having been born in the early 1960s when, in point of fact, homosexuality was still, technically at least, illegal, was I supposed to feel, even in some small way, remotely shocked or disgusted or feel any sense of revulsion? Well if I was then I certainly didn't. In fact, it looked just normal and actually quite sweet. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it looked no different than any other hetrosexual young couple holding hands otherwise I probably wouldn't have felt moved to write anything here about it but it did make me feel quite warm inside that they felt confident enough in themselves, in Tonbridge town centre that day,to just express their tenderness for each other in such a natural way. It made me feel quite proud, even if just fleetingly, that we live in an infinitely more tolerant society to the one in which I grew up. I walked past them and they probably didn't even notice me, and why would they? I don't really wish to open the can of worms which is the debate about gay marriage, and I have no idea what the Tonbridge churches' view on the subject is, but seeing this apparently very loving normal young couple, obviously in love, did make me wonder what the problem would be....

Happy Birthday Tonbridge Farmers Market....

If anything desrves a plug then it's our town's farmer's market. Here's the press release from organiser Steve "The Chilli Man" Wood....

Tonbridge Farmers Market 9th June, our 2nd Birthday and we've been to the Houses of Parliament

 

Tonbridge Farmers Market

Tonbridge Farmers Market 9th June, our 2nd Birthday and we've been to the Houses of Parliament Second Sunday of every month Sovereign Way, Tonbridge TN9 1RG 9.30am – 1.30pm With over 65 stalls booked in already this month, it is going to be the biggest market in Kent, and we are two. It's two years since the first Tonbridge Farmers Market. On that 1st Sunday back in June 2011 we had absolutely no idea if the people of Tonbridge would support or even wanted a farmers market. Well two years and over 50,000 customers on, we think we know the answer, an unmistakeable yes. In this short time we have be become the biggest and best supported Farmers Market in Kent and probably the South of England. We have been runner up in the Taste of Kent awards, Best Farmers Market category. We have also been nominated and short listed for the BBC Food and Farming Awards. Market manager Steve Wood said “ it's great to be successful. It's even better when you and others love what you do” “Lets see if the next year will be just as exciting for us and our customers.” And don't forget it's carnival day as well, what a great day to be in Tonbridge.   Westminster “Taste of Kent” day showcases best of local Kent produce   Tonbridge Farmers Market with it's sister market, Elm Court, and some of our producers were invited to Westminster by Tracy Crouch MP on the 15th May to promote Kent Produce. Kent MPs in association with Visit Kent and Produced in Kent held an event in the Jubilee Rooms at the Palace of Westminster. Jo Reid from Jo's Cakes, Matthew Kearsey-Lawson with Harriot Wood from Kent Fine Foods and Steve Wood from the market went along to tempt MPs, Westminster staff and members of the public to some of our wonderful produce. There was plenty of interest in the produce and the market. Steve Wood said “I hope this event will boost the profile of our market, farmers markets in general and of course Kent and Kent produce. We were all looking forward to meeting the Prime Minister, but he was in the USA so sent this message to all of us”. “I am delighted that Kent's producers have come to Parliament today to showcase some of their high-quality local produce. I am sorry that prior commitments abroad mean that I am unable to join you today - I was particularly looking forward to being able to sample the honey brought to London by the Dartford Beekeepers, which I’m told is truly delicious! I am sure that today's event will offer an opportunity to celebrate Kent's fantastically diverse agricultural sector and will, I hope, promote the county’s producers as they continue to flourish. I wish all those producers who have travelled to London to showcase their produce - and all involved - my very best wishes for an enjoyable and successful day.” Other guests that did come and see us on the day included Justice Minister (and Kent MP) Helen Grant, Minister for Agriculture and Food David Heath, the Head of Catering at the House of Commons, and the key architect behind the plans for the Swanscombe Peninsula Theme Park, Tony Sefton.   The Market Kitchen As always, cookery demonstrations will run with what's in season right now. Future markets and events at the market will include. ·         14th July 2013 ·         11th August 2013 ·         8th September 2013 ·         13th October 2013 Pink Sunday. Raising money for Breast Cancer Care. Customers dressed in something pink will have 10% of all the money they spend today donated to this cause. And lots more pink stuff. ·         10th November 2013 Love Cheese. A celebration of local cheese. ·         8th December 2013 Christmas Drinks Special. Local drinks to make your Christmas go off with a bang ·         12th January 2014 Farmhouse Breakfast Market ·         9th February 2014 Scallop Sunday ·         9th March 2014 Seedy Sunday ·         13th April 2014 The Big Curry. With the help of our customers some of the producers are raising money for the Big Curry which is part of the Soldiers Benevolent Fund. ·         11th May 2014 Love your Local Market ·         8th June 2014 Our 3rd Birthday You can now follow what the market is up to on Twitter @TonbridgeFmMrkt , Facebook and Flickr. Follow the links from our website.   Customers wishing to get a reminder for the market can do so by emailing steve@tonbridgefarmersmarket.co.uk and just put “reminder” in the subject box or for a text reminder, text “Tonbridge” to 07557739903. Photos. We now have a good selection. You can view these on our flickr page, http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonbridgefarmersmarket/ These photos are for your use. If higher resolution photos are needed please contact us. Contact details are Steve Wood 07876 685853 steve@tonbridgefarmersmarket.co.uk www.tonbridgefarmersmarket.co.uk

Tonbridge Sausages!!!!

I've just had a bit of a late lunch. Left over sausages from yesterday's barbeque in my garden actually, if you must know. Doesn't sound very appetizing? Think again. These weren't just any sausages, and they weren't succulent M&S sausages before you ask, they were in fact Tonbridge Sausages! Yes that's right such a thing does exist and Chatfield's, the new butchers next to McD's has only gone and reinvented them.  Mr. Chatfield recommended them to me in the shop yesterday (yes they were going the extra mile by being open on a bank holiday Monday) and he did tell me some of the secret recipe but obviously I can't divulge that kind of information without you agreeing to let me kill you afterwards! Suffice it to say that they are truely de lish cious! Even cold in a sandwich the next day they are out of this world. The Kent Burgers and Hadlow Sausages and, come to think of it, the chicken breast and everything else weren't at all bad either....

Pursued by Bishops....

Edwin Apps was at Mr. Books for a book signing event last Saturday and he was a lovely chap. He's 82 now and has been living in France for nearly forty years but once upon a time people used to recognize him and wave from the bus as he wandered down Piccadilly or Shaftesbury Avenue. In the 1950s and 60s he was a well known face on TV and in the theatre. His main claim to fame is his TV comedy creation, All Gas And Gaiters, which was a sit com based in a Cathedral. Edwin is now an artist and was over in Tonbridge for an exhibition which was held in the Parish Church and Tygers Head, the Tudor house down Church Lane. Appropriate venues really when you consider that the theme of the exhibition and indeed the title of Mr. Apps' autobiography was Pursued By Bishops. It was great to meet Edwin, his lovely partner, Josette, and his publisher Patrick who visited my shop I think every day last week and became one of my best customers! I was so impressed with Edwin's art that I even treated myself to one of them, although not a bishop inspired painting. Well it was my birthday last week! At the book signing he didn't just sign the books he even went as far as drawing some random pictures of mad pursuing bishops in some of them. He really is a man obsessed, or possessed! I have a few copies left in Mr. Books should anyone feel the urge to own one....

Should Tonbridge have its own version of the Cheese Race?...

After having heard that the cheese race in Gloucester has gone ahead in spite of health and safety nutters trying to ban the traditional annual event Tonbridge Blog got to thinking that maybe there should be a Tonbridge equivalent. Maybe it would be pomtastic to have an annual apple fight or a cherry smearing-wrestling competition (sound a little fruity for you?!) Or maybe a hopping race around the country lanes because it would be a play on words like hopping on one foot and hops as in hop picking and what you put in your beer and it might be fun... oh suit yourselves. You have a go then. It's harder than you might think coming up with a new country tradition!...

Crackers....

Nowt to do with Tonbridge but I hear that the annual cheese rolling race has been the subject of the dreaded 'ealth n safety inspectors. Now admittedly the competitors have to be pretty loony to chase down a very steep hill after an 8lb piece of Double Gloucester but surely that's up to them isn't it? If they want to risk life and limb for an age old tradition then who are few namby pamby modern safety inspectors to stand in their way. Well this year the event did go ahead but without the cheese! They used a fake piece made of foam rubber instead. The lady at the traditional cheese supplier was apparently threatened with police action if she was deemed to be, in any way, an organiser which they reckoned she would be for supplying the cheese. How ludicrous can you get. The event goes ahead but without the vital savoury ingredient it's just crackers! It's not quite the Pampolono Bull Run but people come from all over the world for the event so leave them to get a few bruses and scrapes. It's hardly the Wicker Man is it! You can't mess with these harmless country traditions because people will simply take the law, and the cheese into their own hands....

PO Off today....

Don't be caught out, as I was, taking heavy packages along to Tonbridge central Post Office today only to find out that they're closed all day. Industrial action is the reason. Not sure what they are taking the action over but, if I worked there I think I'd also find any excuse I could just to get out of the God forsaken place. I wouldn't mind so much but I'd made a special trip on my bike in the rain to get something in the post. Oh what's the point in moaning about it....

Edwin Apps in Tonbridge this week....

Well worth a visit is the Edwin Apps art exhibition at both the Parish Church for the Pilgrim's Progress series of paintings and Pursued By Bishops at The Tygers Head which is that lovely Tudor house half way down Church Lane. It's on till Saturday I believe. Pursued By Bishops is also the title of Edwin Apps' autobiography which is currently on sale pretty much exclusively in Mr. Books. In fact Edwin will be at the bookshop signing copies and talking to fans on Saturday form 2pm to 6pm. He's a lovely guy who has a great story to tell particularly about theatre and TV comedy of the 1950s to 70s. His claim to fame is that he created the hit comedy TV and radio series called All Gas and Gaiters starring a wonderfully bumbling young priest played by Dereck Nimmo. Only a few episodes survive, because the Beeb wiped many of them, but have a look on YouTube for some funny moments from the series if you get a moment. More information on the exhibition and book signing can be found here....

Worth Contesting Traffic Offences?...

Some readers of this blog may recall a few weeks ago that I was sent a Penalty Charge Notice from Camden Borough Council after having been caught red handed in what I think they like to call a "box junction." You know those traffic lights with a yellow or is it orange grid across them. Call them what you like they are a licence for the authorities to print money. Being controlled by a Big Brother-esque camera in the sky which takes photos and a video of your vehicle from all angles they have you bang to rights, done up like a kipper. There's nowhere to hide they are police, judge, jury and executioner. Or so you'd have thought for, as it turns out, they've let me off the hook. I'd written off £195 which is what the "fine" had risen to as a result of me daring to challenge the notice  and thought, at the very least, they'd sting me for the original charge of £65. But I appear to have got off probably the only way possible: on an administrative technicality. It seems that because their online system was down on the day I made my challenge and that they may have given me an incorrect email address I have escaped all punishment. At least I believe that's their reasoning because all they actually say is that, words to the effect, They haven't met the normal high standards expected of Camden Borough Council parking services. I feel like a man on death row who's just had the call from the Home Office! Well not quite, obviously, but I did feel an almighty sense of relief when I opened the letter. But should I have been put through all that stress just to help a London borough council rake in some more loot. It still stinks to High Heaven but, nonetheless, I'll take it as a bit of a result....

A little bit of politics....

The Thatcher books have been selling well I have to say. In fact I've sold several copies overseas as well as the one's before and after Charles Moore, the author's, signing at Mr. Books. It seems that some folk don't mind paying full price for a signed copy of this particular book. The more I read of it, and I was far from being a fan of the late Margaret Thatcher, the more I think that it will go down as a very serious and thorough account of her life. I'm sure that Charles intended it to be exactly that as each piece of evidence, each archive, is carefully footnoted so that historians, ever after, can verify and perhaps expand upon this information. The book reminds me a little of some of the academic journals and papers I read when studying Economic History at university all those years ago. It may even be judged a masterpiece of biographical writing one day. That said I wouldn't necessarily take The Authorized Biography as your beach time holiday reading unless of course you want to appear intellectual or else you want  to wear your political leanings on your sleeve. But it is worth spending some time wading through its 859 pages. And that's just volume one!...

Birthday Blues....

Unbelieveably I'm 51 years old today. I know some of you are thinking "How does he do it? Is he using harmony hair spray and Oil of Ulay?" Well, the answer is no I just sell books and enjoy my work. That's what keeps me so young looking! Every so often though, and I'm sure all people of a certain age have done the same, I look in a mirror or at my reflection in a shop window and it catches me unawares. You know what I'm talking about: that split second when you think "Who is that old fella staring at me?" Then of course you quickly realise that the old fella is in fact you!
I remember the days when I used to feel so excited about my birthday that I'd be bursting with joy for days if not weeks before. Then I grew up and, as the years passed by the birthdays became that bit less exciting and gradually quite depressing. So, I'm sorry to be such a kill joy but I'll just quietly get on with my day at the shop and hope that no one knows or makes a fuss if it's all the same. On the other hand I have blogged about it so now everyone knows that IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Over 100 beers coming soon to Tonbridge....

The rugby season is all but over and I understand that the Tonbridge Juddians, better known as the Mighty TJs, had another decent season. Consolidation was the aim and I reckon that's what was achieved by all accounts. Which all means that it must be almost time for the SIBA Beer Festival which the club organises and hosts. Over a hundred different real ales and ciders all in a row all waiting to be sampled and consumed. A marquee and some keen young men and women to serve us up these hoppy delights. Burgers sizzling away on the barbe. What's not to like? The posters are already up outside the TJs carpark and it's all happening on the weekend of July 12th to 14th. My mouth is watering at the thought of it and I'm counting down the days....

PS on the Thatcher Biography....

I had one of those nit picky type conversations, which having a bookshop encourages, the other day regarding the spelling of Authorized in the title of Charles Moore's book, Margaret Thatcher The Authorized Biography. So is it spelled with a "z" of an "s"? Which does, rather irritatingly, remind me of that awful Liza Minelli song about Liza with a zee not Lisa with an s cos Lisa with an s goes ssss. But, in a way the song helps because the word authorized should sound like authorized with a zee because otherwise it it would be, phonetically at least, like "authoriced"wouldn't it? Anyway, whatever you and I think the authority on the subject, namely the Oxford English Dictionary, has it with a zed so that's good enough for me. I can't remember the exact episode but I also recall that knowledge of the correct spelling of this type of word once assisted Inspector Morse in solving a murder enquiry. Does any of this matter? Should we just let people spell words like Privatize and Incentivize however they choose and let the English language evolve or should we stand up and eulogize?  Let TBlog know your thoughts....

Edwin Apps in Tonbridge....

I met Edwin Apps in Mr. Books yesterday. He of All Gas and Gaiters fame (I can just about vaguely remember Dereck Nimmo playing a vicar in the comedy series.) He has an exhibition of his art starting on Saturday at the Parish Church and all week in Church Lane and then a book signing on Sat. May 25th 2pm to 6pm at my shop. He seems like a lovely chap but I was struck by him not knowing what a 50p coin was. He had a perfectly spoken English accent which made you fully expect him to know our coinage. But you see Edwin has been an artist living in South West France for nearly 40 years and hardly ever comes over here. I really like the look of his paintings myself and will definitely be going to take a peek. Find out more HERE

Beware the Orange Grids!....

Now we all know that we're not supposed to enter the dreaded orange (or are they yellow?) grids unless we're pretty certain that we won't end up sitting in the middle of it if they traffic is snarled up ahead once the lights change. We all know that don't we? I can see the logic of this in that, obviously, we don't want to block a busy junction. But entering one in London can be very costly indeed so do so at your peril. Coming back from Bloomsbury Book Fair a couple of months back I had to stop very suddenly just inside one such a grid on Southampton Row. I swear that I wasn't causing any sort of a blockage because, really, it was just the front end of my car that was inside the grid. The London Borough of Camden Council didn't quite see it like that though. In fact they slapped me with £130 fine or Penalty Charge Notice (PCN) as they like to call it. They send you a photo of your car in the grid with a freeze frame of the elapsed time as "proof" of your dastardly act. You see they have cameras watching you from every angle at these junctions so that they can catch you out and rake in lots of cash, er, sorry I mean keep the traffic flowing. They like to encourage you to pay up early do Camden Borough Council so they incentivize you by offering to halve the PCN payment if you cough up within seven days. Being a man of principle though I, naturally, felt incensed by this outrage and set about to challenge the notice. I couldn't do it online as their system was down at the time so I elected to send in my challenge to the notice by email, which they duly didn't receive for some reason. This challenge, whilst still ongoing, is likely to result in my fine increasing to £195 all for the heinous "crime" of having my nose in an orange/yellow grid. They also threaten you with sending in bailiffs should you not comply. Someone tells me that just one of these Big Brother controlled junctions generates revenues of over £1 million for one lucky London borough council, and I can well believe it, so there's no wonder they're so ubiquitous. They are an outrage and I cannot see how they can possibly encourage trade or visitors to the capital. They cause nothing but fear and a bad taste in the mouth but it seems, in Camden at least, they are police, judge, jury and indeed executioner. Beware the grids!....

Leave the car at home today....

Not so good this morning coming into work. Now bear in mind here that I can walk to Mr. Books in around 23 minutes or cycle it in around 8 minutes. This morning I had to drop some boxes off, as I often do, on the way in to Lok n Store on Canon Lane so had no choice but to drive. Anyone who's been down there over the last week or so will know that there is a little set of road works narrowing the busy road into one lane controlled by a couple of blokes let loose on a set of traffic lights. They look harmless enough. The result though? Chaos! I then had to post several large parcels containing mostly the Maggie Thatcher biographies which had been signed at Mr. Books on Saturday by Charles Moore himself (scroll down for more on that story) and, let me tell you, it is one hefty tome. So, on leaving the storage depot, I had a simple choice: did I turn left and go through the lights of the road works to go to Higham Lane Post Office or do I turn right and go to the busy central PO and pay the 50p fee in the Sainsbury's car park for 10 minutes of parking? I made the classic wrong choice. Went to Higham Lane and, on the way, noticed a queue of traffic stretching nearly back to Hadlow. On the way back to the centre of Tonbridge I played smart and cut through Romney Way and the grandly named Royal West Kent Avenue to eventually reach Shipbourne Road. The traffic jam, presumably because of the knock on effect from Hadlow Road was almost as bad as if I'd just come back that way. In fact it took me over half an hour to get back to the High Street from Martin Hardy Way which would normally take less than five. All for a piddling little set of roadworks on Canon Lane. Good advert for leaving the car at home if you can....

The Pages ARE for Turning....

The Charles Moore book signing event at Mr. Books Bookshop went okay I guess. To be perfectly honest I expected a much better turn out though as let's face it, there must be millions of Maggie Thatcher fans around these parts. Was it that they didn't know about the event or was it the rainy morning that put them off. Certainly the lack of column inches given to the eminent ex-editor of The Spectator, Sunday and Daily Telegraph's visit to Tonbridge to sign his already famous Margaret Thatcher The Authorized Biography by the Kent and Sussex Courier wouldn't have helped. I never expect them to print anything and am always grateful for any kind of publicity for events I'm involved with so I suppose I should thank the reporters for the little paragraph they gave it. I couldn't help but notice though that Tunbridge Wells Football Club's trip to Wembley for some spurious play off trophy match against that great football team on everyone's lips, Spennymoor Town, managed to get an eight page colour special centre page souvenir pull out in the same issue of the paper complete with photos of a mostly empty stadium in the background! No doubt the sponsors forked out for that one! Anyway I still managed to sell about 40 copies of the Thatcher biography and have sold several since. There are still some signed copies left should anyone want one at the discounted price of £25. Actually I'm reading the book at the moment and it does look like being an important historical account of Lady Thatcher's life and not at all the gushing praise you'd be forgiven for expecting. Don't all rush at once....

Sainsbury's and Beales fall out of bed....

Thanks for all the comments about the Tonbridge Loyalty Card and Angel Centre developments. Incidentally I did mention on this blog that there was a rumour that Beales might be closing down. A post which enticed the Chief Executive of Beales to make a comment below the post which effectively issued a strong denial that this was the case. This was about two years ago so is it just possible that early negotiations between Sainsbury's and Beales had already begun at that time. Was it these discussions, if they took place, which sparked off the rumours? We'll probably never know since it's unlikely that, were it true, they'd ever come clean on the matter....

Thoughts on the proposed Tonbridge Loyalty Card....

Do we need a Tonbridge loyalty card? As a little aside it does amuse me that TLC is the abbreviated version of Tonbridge Loyalty Card but maybe, inadvertantly, they've struck the right note because, let's face it, our town is in urgent need of some TLC!  Lots of shops already have their own loyalty card schemes of course. Mr. Books has had one, Cycle-ops has one and certainly the new butchers has trialed one very successfully since its opening. But would a town wide scheme work? How would it be practically managed. It is one of the ideas being looked at by the Tonbridge Town Team/Business Alliance very seriously. Though dwindling in numbers over recent years, a meeting of many of the independent traders of Tonbridge was held last week to discuss the options. I didn't attend it myself but, as I understand it, some positive things came out of it albeit after some fairly lively discussion about the merits of the new plans for the town centre developments. But that's another story. My first instinct is that loyalty cards are a little old hat; but is that me just being an old cynic? How could it work though if every trader wanted something slightly different? One retailer may have more margin to play with than another. 10% off a high ticket item such as some furniture or a bike would clearly be more to consider than off cards or at the butchers. I think that I'm slowly coming round to the idea that such a scheme might help publicise the independent shops in the town but I am concerned that the take up from shoppers wouldn't be that great and I doubt whether it would actually have the effect of drawing shoppers to Tonbridge from other towns. So do I want to spend the proposed forty quid to find out? That is the question. But that's just my thoughts; what about yours....

Charles Moore, Margaret Thatcher The Authorized Biography, Book Signing Event at Mr. Books Saturday 11th May....

Thankfully the scaffolding has now been taken down from outside Mr. Books and Clarke and Coleman Chemists. After six weeks it had started to seriously effect trade as potential customers could be seen giving it a wide berth and, in the process, not seeing the wonderful window display efforts of Mrs. Books! I've made strong hints to my landlord for compensation in the form of stopping the rent for a month but so far he hasn't bitten!
Back to normal then for me. Whatever normal is of course! One thing I said to myself I'd do when moving onto the High Street last June was to hold more events at the shop. "Mr. Books" I said, "You must hold more events at the shop...." I'd already had a few signing events at the old shop of course, such as Victoria Hislop and some local authors, but they were all a little low key probably due to my location being tucked away in Bank Street. Then came Anthony Horowitz and a two hour queue to get into Mr. Books. Yes, though I still pinch myself to make sure that I'm not dreaming, it really did happen. I've put many irons in the fire since then and can now announce that Charles Moore will be coming to the shop on Saturday 11th May from 10-30am to 12pm to meet readers and sign copies of his much publicized book Margaret Thatcher The Authorized Biography. I'm really quite excited about the whole thing. So if you were a fan of The Iron Lady or even if you just want to talk to someone who had exclusive access to many documents and interviews with Mrs. T's close collegues come along on the morning.

The book will be on sale at the discounted price of £25 and you'll also receive a £5 voucher to spend on your following visit to Mr. Books. See you there hopefully. More details here

Anyone for (football) tennis?!..

Anybody wishing to make a comment about anything to do with Tonbridge can do so right here on Tonbridge Blog. You don't even have to wait till there's a relevant topic on the blog just say what's on your mind so long as it's clean and legal it won't get deleted  I promise you that. So, unlike as some have suggested, you all do have an opportunity to comment about our town right here. Failing that you could always go on that lesser known social networking site, Twitter!  One recent comment below questioned whether or not our money is being wasted on the resurfacing work being carried out at the Upper Castle Fields carpark, causing its closure for at least a week.
Funny enough I too couldn't help but noticed this. "Work" had started yesterday. Except the "work" seemed to involve the "workmen" playing a game of football tennis which was a game they'd invented with a makeshift court using a rope and plastic crates. Innovative and entertaining though it was I couldn't help but wonder how much resurfacing was actually going on and how much their game would have been costing the local tax payer! If only my camera phone hadn't run out of battery I'd have been able to capture this great example of British workmanship....

New book due out on Tonbridge....

Just had an author in Mr. Books who says he's writing a book about the history of Tonbridge. Robert Turcan has already written a successful series of Through Time books on other towns in Kent as well as books about ancient Rome (Come on do some research, that was another guy by the same name, Ed.)so I look forward to seeing his latest effort. He bought a number of postcards and a book for images of the town in days gone by; I also gave him permission to use pics and stories from Tonbridge Blog (What was I thinking? I should be charging for this stuff!) Tonbridge Through Time will be published in June this year. I'm working on him for the launch book signing event!...

The Last Bookshop....

If you've been reading this blog for a while you may remember mention of a film production company who visited my old shop a few years ago. They were a lovely bunch of guys who I could see straight off were passionately enthusiastic about the project they were working on. Within a few minutes they had persuaded me to not only do an interview about the state of the book trade as I saw it but also to have my shop featured in the film they were proposing. They were going to call the film The Last Bookshop which, in itself, was quite ominous when I come to think of it! It took, not far off, a couple of years from that point to the actual premiere of the film and it's only now that, at last, it's available for all to view on YouTube. When you watch the film, and I would urge you to do so, you might think that it's availability for internet streaming to be somewhat ironic but that's just a little aside. I've seen it three times now and each time I notice another clever bit that I hadn't on previous viewings. Without ruining it for you the basic premise is that a school boy is bored after his home holographic cinema system breaks down (I should have said that it's slightly surreal and a bit futuristic) so he is forced to go out into the great outdoors and, among the boarded up shop units he chances upon the last bookshop. And I mean it literally is the last bookshop, so it would seem, in the world. It turns out to have some wonderfully uplifting ingredients as a movie and, like all great films, also manages to be sad at the same time. I haven't even mentioned yet that my old shop, Mr. Books, when it was around the corner in Bank Street, is featured in the shop as are Halls in Tunbridge Wells and Baggins in Rochester as well as one or two others. On first viewing you would be forgiven for thinking that the whole thing was filmed in Halls as Joe, the boy in the Last Bookshop, walks in that door having stumbled across the shop. But those clever film editors have played tricks with the audience but putting together some of the best internal shots from the other shops and blending them altogether seamlessly. There are some great little touches like the stuff about the Gamazon Corporation not allowing the books to be sold because they own all the copyrights and the scene when Joe handles a book for the first time in his life and starts to try to scroll it and make it interactive like he would with his hologram machine. Bearing in mind that this was made around three years ago now some of the more far fetched ideas are becoming somewhat scarily close to reality. Whether we will ever witness the final days of the physical book and the actual last bookshop remains to be seen, and let's hope to God not, but The Last Bookshop, at the very least deserves to be watched, if only because it's entertaining. I'll have a bet though that it'll make you pause for thought on a possible scarey future I'm not sure even the darkest minds at Google and Amazon would wish for. I'm glad I agreed to take part in my own small way in the project and I wish those talented guys at The Bakery great things things in the future. Long live real books!...

There's more than a touch of Just William about the boy Joe in the film

Comparing meerkats....

You see these annoying adverts for price comparison sites where they say something like: "I went to Confused.com and I've just saved £270 on my car insurance!" Well I used to think that this must be a load of old tosh. That is until quite recently. It's fairly well known that you can save hundreds by switching your energy supplier. It's always a bit of a hassle doing this though so I usually just try and bluff my present supplier into giving me it cheaper which in fact they nearly always do. Over the weekend I opened the letter containing our renewal for our home insurance. We've been with Direct Line for many years and I doubt whether I've bothered checking this for at least four or five years and, needless to say, I was shocked to see that the premium had crept up to over £660 for home and contents. I could have just let the policy "auto renew" as they try to encourage you to do by the way the letter's worded and small wonder they do this judging by how much they stand to make by letting it roll on. So this time I decided to check online on that famous Alexander Meerkat site and within minutes I'd ascertained that I could save alot of cash. In fact the cheapest quote seemed to be around £140! I couldn't believe that there could be such a difference. The quotes did range up to about £400 for similar cover to Direct Line's. So, after a bit of tweaking here and adjustments there, I managed to get the best quote out of my present insurer of £357. A saving of over £300 on their original renewal quote for a ten minute phone call. The Meerkat didn't make any money out of me but he did help save me a packet so I thank him and I will be back.
Perhaps I'm being idealistic but it does annoy the hell out of me that you get nothing if you don't ask for it from companies who should know better and that, worst of all, you get nothing for loyalty any more. In fact, effectively, you get penalized for it. It could be too strong to say that they're ripping you off but one thing's for sure, something stinks to High Heaven about this! So my advice to anyone who's listening is spend the time reviewing your insurance and utility contracts because it really does save you a packet....

Where would you buy a house in Tonbridge?...

A lady in my shop earlier was asking me where the best streets and which are the areas to avoid in Tonbridge. She is thinking of moving here so that she's close to London and thinks it a nice looking town. This got me thinking which areas I'd look at if I were moving here again for the first time, only with the knowledge I have now. The Slade perhaps? Once a no go area it now seems to have become quite gentrified and certainly has some quirky and interesting cottages in it's little knot of streets. (Yes and, before you comment, I know that I've nicked the title of the book on the history of the Slade.)  The new houses by the River clustered around the Town Lock. Bit tightly packed for me but picturesque and handy for the station certainly. Dry Hill perhaps? With it's grand old Victorian semis no wonder that it's a very sought after area. Pembury Road? Too busy. Quarry Hill? Similarly too busy a road for me. Any other thoughts on favourite areas??..

Are things looking up for Tonbridge?...

I see that there's soon to be a new Turkish Restaurant opening at the north end of Tonbridge High Street. Not sure of the name yet but it'll be opening soon where ASK used to be. Grand Apetito opened recently to replace Antonia's/The Olive Room (not sure what happened there) also at the north end. In addition things are also looking up at the south end of Tonbridge with those entreprenurial folks who run the Avebury Avenue Fish Bar having recently opened a Mexican Restaurant next door ( El Mariachi??) I've heard good reports about that from a few customers. Then there's soon to be a Portugeese Restaurant and deli opening a couple of doors from the Mexican. Some people seem to have confidence that things are looking up. Let's hope that they're right. What I wouldn't mind seeing though is more places that do a fixed price menu. It's always reassuring to know what you're paying before you start eating. Or is that just me....

Mr. Books is the first of Tonbridge Blog's featured shops....

Now there's a suprise I hear some of you say under your breath! Here's a selection of some of the latest books on display (and for sale) at Mr. Books, 142 High Street, Tonbridge. The first in Tonbridge Blog's series of features on independent High Street shops. You can of course also go around the shop on a virtual tour via Google. Who should be featured next.....

007 at Mr. Books, Tonbridge!...

Here's the new James Bond themed Mr. Books window display. See if you can work out what that naughty 007 fella has been up to!...

How to survive in Tonbridge on a £53 a week budget....

So is it possible to survive on the £53 a week, which Iain Duncan Smith has suggested is possible, in Tonbridge? Well let's think what you could do. Here's a few tips:

Firstly: Do not be tempted to go to Tunbridge Wells or Bluewater. Too many shops and tempting, expensive junk food places.

Do go and buy a book from Mr. Books or a charity shop. This will provide your entertainment, if you choose wisely, for the whole week. You can then sell it back and get 50p towards next week's book.

Do shop at Lidl. They're not only cheap but often just as good as the other supermarkets in terms of quality. You just get less choice of brands.

Do feel like you can treat yourself to Fish and Chips at the Avebury Avenue Fish Bar. I can tell you that you won't get much better Haddock, Chips and mushy peas anywhere. And I've had a lot of fish and chips in my time! It's a very nutritious and filling meal and about the same price as a Mc D's.

Do shop at the fruit and veg stall at the arcade. Their produce is good quality and you're helping a small business and therefore the local economy. Same goes for the butchers.

Avoid Waitrose and Sainsbury's unless you are very disciplined. It's not so much that they are more expensive than Lidl and Co Op it's just that they're very crafty, devious even, when it comes to shop layout. It's easy to spend £53 on a visit even when you may have only gone in for a pint of milk! Beware!

Do make use of the park and Barden Lake/country park. Not wishing to be patronising but walking, running and cycling, even the out door gym on the park, are all free and very healthy at the same time.

Steer clear of gambling activities like the slot machine arcade and the bookies (excepting a small flutter on the Grand National this weekend obviously!)

Join a club at the Angel Centre. There's lots of them, from Tai Chi to Flower arranging and they're all pretty cheap to join.

Don't go swimming in the river. Although free and once a great source of enjoyment in Tonbridge, it's now seen as a dangerous activity and could lead to an earlier than expected death!

Take up photography and enter free competitions. There's lots of subject matter around Tonbridge from sports to wildlife, to river life and retail life. Great fun and most people have a decent camera these days with them all the time on their mobiles.

Make use of the library. Free books, free magazines and newspapers, free computer use. Nice and warm in there usually as well.

So there's just a few suggestions on how to survive in Tonbridge by not eating into your £53 a week budget too heavily. I'm sure they'll be more...

£53 a week, in Tonbridge? Are they 'avin a giraffe?!..

I see that Tunbridge Wells MP and rising star of politics, Greg Clark, has joined the £53 a week row. Work ad Pensions Secretary, Iain Duncan Smith, has got himself into hot water over suggesting that he could easily survive on that amount and now Mr. Clark is trying to soften the government's stance by suggesting that it would be very difficult especially for those used to a comfier existence. That bit I don't doubt so the question is whether it's possible to survive on 53 quid a week if you cut things to the bone. At first I thought this a ridiculous notion. Ridiculous until I learned that they are talking about the amount you have AFTER bills and rent/mortgage are paid. Admittedly the last family Chinese takeaway I ordered cost not far off that but then did I really need that meal. Couldn't I have chosen to shop wisely at Sainsbury's and gone for the Jamie Oliver £5 meals option instead. Of course the answer is yes. I think the £5 refers to a family so an individual's share of that is £1.25. Following that argument it would be possible to feed yourself on £8.75 a week. Add a loaf of bread, even a nice one, a few bottles of beer at £2 each (and it's possible to buy them a lot cheaper) a reasonably priced bottle of wine, fish and chips, meat and cheese for sandwiches and I still make that under £35. All of which would leave around £17 for other items. I know I'm stretching the argument to make a point but, based on this information, it would at least appear to be possible if rather uncomfortable.  But then there's household items, sweets for the kids, Christmas presents, cinema, computer games and all those other temptations that modern life throws at us.....