Floody Tonbridge....

Here's the poem which I read/performed at last night's Roundel poetry evening. It seemed to go down well enough so I thought I'd share it with you all. Now, you have to imagine me standing there in the Rose and Crown Hotel wearing a snorkel and mask on top of my head. I kid you not and have about 70 witnesses!

 

Floody Tonbridge

 

Tonbridge, Hildenborough, East Peckham and Yalding
We were on the telly … like that Clare Balding.
Cameron came, but Clegg? He never
All them politicians out braving the weather
Were they bothered ‘bout our feelings and views
Or were it enough to be on’t six o’clock news?!

We’ll never forget that night, the wind roaring
Rain hurtling down, God it was pouring!
Christmas Eve, when we should have been writing n wrapping
The flippin rain kept rat a tap tapping

Then, soon after, they opened the gates, over at Leigh
Resulting in unmanned canoes and boats a floating on by
Anything, usually on the banks so neatly
Went white water rafting if not tethered completely!

Commuters are moaning in First Class compartments
Questions being asked in Government departments.
Home owners, they say, given one hour to go?
Shouldn’t the barrier have regulated the flow?
Should houses be built by the banks of the river?
The answer my friends must surely be never!
No need to discuss, no need to deliberate
Just take a look at the level, on the post, from 1968!

Oh, there’ll be many a claim for damages, you bet,
The insurance’ll make sure that most of them met.
But will the Environment Agency put its hands up and say
“It was us. We got it wrong on that day!”

Will they floody heck!!

Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon anyone?....

Just had a chat in the shop with Caroline Dunmall of local homeless charity, Bridge Trust, who tells me that they are always looking for runners for local fun runs and the like. They have entered a team of ten for the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon which is coming up on Sunday March 2nd. I'm afraid Tonbridge Blog is a little out of shape having not trained for quite a while now so I had to decline. But there must be others out there who are willing to put themselves through the pain barrier for a good cause. Interested? Then contact her at the Bridge Trust on 01732 368363....

Bridge Trust....

Tonbridge, Floody Tonbridge....

On a lighter note the Roundel Poetry Evening at the Rose and Crown tonight, is a sell out. That's more than 60 poetry fans going along for readings by local poet, Margaret Beston, and also by Geraldine Paine, followed by my favourite bit the open mic' slot. There's also musical accompaniment jazz style and a glass of wine. Not bad for a fiver! No wonder it sold out so quickly. Poetry is indeed alive and well in Tonbridge and I'm very much looking forward to reading, actually I prefer to call it performing, my poem, "Floody Tonbridge" what I wrote....

Council to charge extra for under water parking!...

When I saw the headline in today's Courier I almost spat my tea out in shock but the truth is that this is a lot more complex than it would at first seem. As the director of planning at TMBC (the council to you and me) is quoted as having said the review of charges has to take into account the balance of revenue and the vitality of the town centre. Wise words Steve but do you really mean it when it seems quite clear that the right hand doesn't know what the left is doing? Timing in announcements is crucial and this is classic bad timing. Economy still depressed, consumer confidence at an all time low, the rise and rise of internet shopping and, not least, Tonbridge has just had a natural disaster of its own with the floods over Christmas. Maybe the council have decided to charge extra for the novelty of under water parking!!
Parking charges in town centres always seem too high to me and, I should think, to most people. In a way it's just a form of stealth tax anyway. That said the car parks always seem to be spilling over with cars (and sometimes water!) so there's no doubt that they're in demand. I was over at Pembury Hospital last night for reasons I won't go into now and, though I have an major issue with hospitals charging for parking, I have to say that I wish that Tonbridge town centre would use the same system. Barrier entry, no limit to how long you can stay, pay at a ticket machine just before you leave. That way there's no worry about staying longer in that shop, trying on a new pair of jeans in the sale at Beales or meeting a friend and lingering over a second coffee because you're enjoying their company. It works, it would boost trade, it's simple and would avoid the need for the goons (parking wardens) to be hovering over your car when there's a minute left on your ticket. If the brains at the council would change all the car parks to that simple workable system I'd settle for trading that off for paying slightly more for parking. Shoppers would be happy, traders would be happy and I'd be ecstatic....

Where's Humphrey Bean?...

In other news Wetherspoons has reopened so you'll be able to go and get your pint and curry for six quid again. Hopefully without having to wade through two feet of water to the bar!...

Swimming Pool flooding update....

Walking past the Tonbridge Swimming Pool just a few minutes ago, peering through the window I noticed two things. One: there were three official looking men in suits sat around what should be a café table scratching their heads and looking very concerned and serious. Not surprising at all really when I then noticed the second thing. Scaffolding around the pool, no water in the pool. No swimming for a good while then by the looks of things. The good news is that there was no obvious damage in evidence to the indoor pool floor so it looks as though the main problem will be in making it pass health and safety measures. For once I'm saying this in all seriousness, instead of in the case of the usual utterance of that tired phrase. Let's face it you wouldn't want your lovely heated pool to be contaminated with river water and the debris it washed up during the floods. Think I'll steer clear for a while though and let the keenos be the guinea pigs. So that knocks my New Year fitness regime back to about, probably March/April then!...

TJRFC badly damaged by floods....

More bad news on the flooding in Tonbridge. The Juddians Rugby Club has some serious damage. As an ex player for the club this news is heart breaking on so many levels. The TJs have been riding high in recent years having spent money on players, equipment and, not least a new clubhouse. Anyone who's seen it may have noticed that the building is raised up, almost as if on stilts, so I was amazed this morning to hear one of the guys at the club tell me how bad the damage has been. The figure of £150,000 was being talked about. Now presumably the insurance will take care of much of that but, nevertheless, it's still a massive headache for all concerned. The pitches will drain and be playable after a few weeks but the clubhouse has to be in working order and hygienic otherwise there will be no more home games for this season. Again it raises the question of whether the floods were just a natural disaster or was there indeed a fault with the flood barrier. Tonbridge Blog has heard various rumours and it should be stressed that they are just that, rumours with perhaps some grounding in fact. Firstly there's the theory that the Leigh barrier was partially opened to allow the river water flow to be regulated and when the operators tried to close it one of the flaps was stuck. So the solution seemed to be to open the gates fully in order to release the stuck flap. This may have worked but also may have caused the surge in the flow which had a damaging effect on the town and, perhaps even worse, downstream in East Peckham and Yalding. The other theory, and one which the authorities seem to be sticking with, is that the levels at the flood barrier were so high, perhaps because the forty year old system in need of an upgrade, that the Environment Authority had no choice but to raise the barrier to allow water to be dispersed down river. Either way the residents and businesses of Tonbridge and the surrounding villages need some quick answers. No cover up please just honest, blunt answers. I'll have a bet though that we don't get these answers unless they are wrung out of the people involved....

Floods in Pictures. Boxing Day....

Angel Centre car park on Boxing Day

The Racecourse Sportsground becomes more like a sailing course

I took a walk out on Boxing Day to see the extent of the flooding in the High Street area....

Tonbridge Park is a lake!

The kids don't seem to mind it too much!

This is becoming all too regular for the Tonbridge Juddians 1st XV pitch

The water was pretty much over the Town Lock

Floods in pictures. Christmas Eve....

click to see the river in torrent

The river almost up to road level

Here are some of the photos TonbridgeBlog took of the river and floods on Christmas Eve. The video clips gives a glimpse at the ferocity of the waters once the flood barrier had been opened. Quite frightening it was actually to see the force of nature at work....


To the left of the picture is one of the rowing boats from the submerged jetty stuck at the bridge

The Great Flood 2013....

Having just read the "The Great Flood 2013" report in the Courier I now fully realise just how lucky I've been in escaping any damage. If I lived in the town centre or by the river my home could have been ruined on Christmas Eve. If my shop had been South of the river instead of part way up a hill I could have spent all of Christmas day fishing for floating books and clearing up the mess! Thankfully none of this happened and I'm very grateful. There's no doubt that it has effected sales in the shop but I'm confident that we'll catch that up and anyway it seems so trivial to think like that when other shop keepers lives and livelihoods were at stake. It's heart warming to see that there was an army of volunteers helping with the clear up operation as pictured in the Courier. Wonderful stuff. The Dunkirk Spirit surfaces yet again. I've often looked at pictures of the 1968 floods in the local history books on sale in my shop and now pretty much everyone in Tonbridge will now know someone who has been effected in the Christmas Floods of 2013. Newspapers can be a bit prone to exaggeration but their headline this time seems very apt....

HNY Everyone....

The true identity of TonbridgeBlog finally revealed!  Have a very Happy New Year........

This one obviously flatters me!

P Off...

I see that once again our dear old post office has let us all down. It's been closed throughout the Christmas period due to flooding. Well, I don't see any water inside the building and as far as I know they've had no power cuts. So is it a case of any excuse will do to close early or not open at all? Or do they have genuine reason? Come off it guys this is a vital service, especially for businesses, and you should be pulling out all the stops to open up as normal as possible. What is everyone meant to do? Go to a sub post office? Oh, that's right, they've all been closed down!...

New Year's fitness....

If you are a swimmer and your New Year's resolution is to get fit TonbridgeBlog suggests that you take up running. It simply will be no excuse that Tonbridge Swimming Pool is likely to be closed for January and February, at the very least, by the looks of things. The pool's website suggests this by saying that direct debits for the fitness pool and spa have been frozen although actually the official line is "a number of weeks." It seems that those flood barriers around the pool, constructed at enormous expense after the last floods over a decade ago, weren't up to the job. As this is the first time that they've been properly tested that's pretty shoddy really when you think about it. It is our understanding here at TonbridgeBlog that a decision was taken by the borough council officials, when the swimming pool was being planned, to save money by NOT adequately protecting the pool against the possibility of flooding based on it being, statistically, a once in a hundred years possibility. Well guys at the council that was a big error of judgement as this flood makes it twice in 13 years! To give them the benefit of the doubt maybe the damage would have been a hell of a lot worse if the barriers weren't there this time. As it is it looks like we (the tax payer) will have to fork out for new equipment and a massive decontamination and clean up operation. Think I'll stick to running and canoeing!...
Read updates on the swimming pool's website and on This is Kent site

Flood defences....

I've been away a bit so haven't been able to report much on the great Tonbridge floods. Mr. Books is part way up a hill so I knew the shop and, more importantly, the books would survive but I did have a bit of a hairy moment when I heard the loud speaker vans going around announcing evacuations like some scene from a disaster movie! People were lining the big bridge to see the river in what can only be described as torrent. It was up to road level at the bridge. Wetherpoons was closed (actually the only time I've ever fancied a spur of the moment pint there!) and my understanding is that it hasn't reopened all of Christmas. Very costly indeed for the pub chain I should imagine but I'm sure they'll claim most of it back on insurance. Further down the High Street on Christmas Eve there were police and Environment Agency officials in high viz jackets everywhere you looked. I knew how serious things were though when I realised that even McDonalds had been forced to close. That must be a first! The car parks in the riverside apartments were under two feet of water even on Boxing Day when I went for an investigative walk. Funny that, what with them being below the river level and all! Not sure of the wisdom of that idea. But, then again, presumably they were built like that on the understanding that the Leigh flood barrier could hold back even the Red Sea and thereby protect Tonbridge. The question remains as to whether or not the barrier did do just that or, as some were muttering last week, that there was some sort of mechanical fault and the barrier failed us. Anyone aware of the latest thinking on that? Did they successfully regulate the flow of the Medway or did someone or something make a boo boo? .... Some pictures will follow soon

A Christmas Message to Tonbridge....

To put you all in the Christmas mood here's a few pictures from Slade School's Nativity play entitled, rather amusingly, "A Midwife Crisis" Don't they all look lovely. Merry Christmas to everyone who lives in Tonbridge or indeed used to live here or has anything to do with our wonderful town....

I'm dreaming of....

I wet Christmas....

Merry Christmas....

As I was saying earlier. I'm off to make some deliveries....

Angel Centre Cinema, Clubs and Events....

Always worth remembering that, although we don't have a cinema in Tonbridge (yet) you can watch some fairly up to date films at the Angel Centre from time to time. There's lots of social clubs and other things going on down there as well. I'm particularly intrigued as to what the Gassers and Rubber Fanciers get up to. I'm told that it's some sort of modelling club and completely harmless. Still, the mind boggles!....

FORTHCOMING EVENTS - JANUARY 2014                         

Although Christmas is not yet upon us, we thought you might like to see what's in store at the Centre in the New Year.  There are lots of events taking place during the month including an SRP Toy Fair, IPWUK Wrestling Spectacular and two great films - Philomena and Captain Phillips.

Don't forget that the Lions Club Christmas Panto is taking place this weekend and there are still tickets available - more information below.

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ANGEL CINEMA

January

Philomena (12A) - 2 hours long

Tuesday 14 January - 2.45pm & 5.30pm
Wednesday 15 January - 8.15pm
Thursday 16 January - 2.45pm, 5.30pm & 8.15pm

A world-weary political journalist picks up the story of a woman's search for her son, who was taken away from her decades ago after she became pregnant and was forced to live in a convent. Stars Judy Dench and Steve Coogan.

Captain Phillips (12A) - 2 hours 30 mins long

Tuesday 14 January - 8pm
Wednesday 15 January - 2.15pm & 5.15pm

The true story of Captain Richard Phillips and the 2009 hijacking by Somali pirates of the US-flagged MV Maersk Alabama, the first American cargo ship to be hijacked in two hundred years. Stars Tom Hanks, Barkhad Abdi and Barkhad Abdirahman.

Tickets are available in advance from the Box Office - 01732 359966.  Adults £6  Children/Senior Citizens £5

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EVENTS

January & December

SRP Toy Fair - Tuesday 7 January
The Toy Fair takes place in the Medway Hall from 6.30pm to 8.30pm.

Area Planning Meeting - Thursday 16 January
This meeting takes place in the Riverside Lounge at 7.30pm.

IPWUK Wrestling Spectacular
The event takes place in the Medway Hall from 5pm.  Tickets cost £13 adults, £9 for under 16s, Family £37 and VIP Package £40. For more information visit www.ipwuk.com.

December

Sleeping Beauty at the Angel Centre - 20 & 21 December
Tickets are still available for the panto this Friday/Saturday. Following the hugely successful production of Jack & The Beanstalk last December, the Tonbridge Lions Club are delighted to join forces again, with the Angel Centre, to produce the popular pantomime The Sleeping Beauty on Friday 20 December (7.30pm) and Saturday 21 (10.30am. 2.30pm and 6.30pm). Each performance will raise much needed funds for local Tonbridge charities.

The Sleeping Beauty, widely regarded as one of the most delightful fairy tales ever written, is a truly magical story of adventure, music, romance and fun. Share the adventures of the beautiful Princess Briar Rose, her handsome Prince, dotty Fanny Annie and not forgetting Nuts the Monkey! As with all the best pantos this hugely entertaining Christmas romp includes masses of audience participation and wonderfully boo-able villains.

Tickets cost £11 for adults, £9 for children/concessions and £32 for a family ticket. Places are limited, so please book early to avoid disappointment! Contact the Angel Centre box office on 01732 359966.

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REGULAR EVENTS

Friday Fleamarket
Every Friday in the Medway Hall from 8am to 1pm. Contact Mrs Carmichael 01732 456196 for further information or to book a stall.

Weight Watchers
Weight Watchers sessions take place every Tuesday at 12.45pm and 6.15pm in the Jubilee Room. Contact 08457 123000 for more information.

Blood Donors Session
Sessions are held regularly in the Medway Hall - the next will take place on Thursday 9 and 21 January. For more information contact the National Blood Transfusion Service on 0845 771 1711.

Tonbridge U3A
Meetings held on the first Wednesday of every month at 2pm in the Medway Hall. On 8 January speaker Pat Mortlock will discuss 'Tonbridge: The Growth of a Market Town.' For further information visit www.tonbridgeu3a.org/index.html.

Tonbridge Flower Arrangement Club
The Club will meet again on Wednesday 22 January at 2.15pm. New members always welcome.

Tonbridge Civic Society
The next meeting will take place on Tuesday 21 January when speaker Sir Paul Britton will discuss: The Architectural History of Tonbridge. For more information please visit www.tonbridgecivicsociety.org.uk.

Tonbridge Decorative & Fine Arts Society
Meetings held monthly at 2.30pm in the Medway Hall - new members always welcome. On 23 January Rosalind White will discuss: LS Lowry - The Painting of Modern Life. For more information contact 01622 754929 or visit www.nadfaskentarea.org.uk.

Society of Friends
The Society of Friends meets monthly in the Vauxhall Room. The next meeting will take place on Sunday 19 January. For further information contact Mrs Heydecker on 01732 365781.

Tonbridge Morning Townswomen's Guild
Held on second Wednesday of each month from 10am to 12 noon, new members always welcome. On Wednesday 8 January its Chatter Day & Quizzes. For further information please contact Mrs Knight-Smith on 01732 361751.

North Tonbridge Flower Arrangers
The next meeting will take place on Thursday 23 January - 7.45pm for 8pm.

Tonbridge Gassers & Rubber Fanciers
The group will next meet on Saturday 25 January.

Tonbridge Historical Society
The next meeting will take place on Thursday 13 February when speakers George and Joyce Buswell will discuss Vinzenz's Diary. For more details please visit www.tonbridgehistory.org.uk.

Line Dancing
Classes take place on Friday at 7pm. For more information please contact Mary on 01892 538322.

Zumba
Classes held each Monday from 8pm to 9pm and 6.30pm to 7.30pm for Zumba Gold. For further information please contact Nicky on 01892 616123 or email nicky.zumba@btinternet.com.

Little Kickers Football Training
Classes take place on Sunday morning at 10am for children aged 18 months to 4.5 years. For further information please call 0208 4320982 or visit www.littlekickers.co.uk.

Merry Christmas....

Sorry I'm off for a week or so. Some urgent deliveries to do!...

Sorry John Lewis beat you to it!...

Today's business and market reports make a big deal out of John Lewis being the first department store to have been "given the google street view treatment." Sorry Mr. Lewis but Mr. Books beat you to it by about six months. Some of you may already realise that you can go on a virtual tour of the famous Tonbridge bookshop. Simply click on the image outside to enter into the murky world inside Mr. Books. Don't be alarmed when you see some mug with, well, a pixelated mug sitting at the desk. Actually it's not pixellated at all it's just how I look!...

Mr. Books Confession....

Okay, now I have a confession to make to you the people of Tonbridge. I'm not particularly proud of this but here we go. You must understand that I did this partly as a result peer pressure and, I'd like to say, out of needing to conduct some literary research, being a bookseller and all. Closer to the truth though was that I was fascinated with the massive hype. Everyone has an opinion about this book and usually it's not a good one, even though it seems that most people commenting have never actually even picked the thing up let alone gazed upon its pages. Yes, I'm sorry, I'm almost ashamed to admit it but:

I'VE JUST READ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY!

The even worse confession is that I actually quite enjoyed it. In fact I've since skim-read the follow up, Fifty Shades Darker and have moved onto the final part of the trilogy, Fifty Shades Freed. I do want to find out what happens to Anastasia (Miss Steele) and Christian (Fifty Shades of.) I wouldn't say that the first book was un-put-downable, if indeed there is such a book in existence, but I did find it compelling reading and not for the obvious titillating bits involving S&M either. That said, being a man more used to M&S, I did find myself laughing out loud and sniggering like a teenager at some of these fruity bits at first. Later though they induce the feeling of: oh, here we go again! Once you've read one chapter about what goes on in the red room of pain (if you've read it this will make sense to you) how much more shocking can it get! It took a long time to come out, because I think that the author, E.L. James, was well aware that she was on to a winner what with the unashamed descriptions of previously taboo goings on in a mainstream novel, but there is a plot and it's quite a good one. Obviously it is by no means the most challenging book I've ever read but, you know, you just can't always read serious literature and Booker prize winners; sometimes you have to lose yourself in something a bit, well, trashy. Essentially though, in my opinion at least, so far in the story  (remembering that I'm only two-thirds through the trilogy) it's a good old fashioned love story, where good must triumph over evil... just with added spicy bits. Can't wait to see the steamy film version!...

PS on Business rates....

It now appears that endangered local businesses like bookshops, bakers and butchers will have to pay mostly full business rates but if the Church of Scientology,  and possibly other cultish sects wish to open a place of worship in Tonbridge they might well be exempt. The C of Sc have just won a landmark case which recognises that religions don't have to be confined to ones which worship a supreme deity. Would you Adam and Eve it?!..

Council in a Pickle!...

Some time ago I sent a letter off to the Rt Hon. Eric Pickles MP. He of the large frame and looking like he's definitely eaten at least 3/4 of the pies! But I think his rotundity (is that a word?) gives a false first impression of the man and for me he's one of the more impressive of the government ministers. In my letter I pointed out to him how Business Rates, over zealous parking wardens/high charges and preferential treatment of charity shops are crippling small businesses, such as Mr. Books, and acting as a disincentive to business start ups and expansions. I'm quite sure he's had similar exasperated business people from all over the country making the same sort of complaints. To his credit he has passed my letter to someone who has written a lengthy reply outlining the action the government are taking on these issues. Much of this was announced in the Chancellor's Autumn Statement but it's still worth highlighting some of it. It seems that the Department for Communities and Local Government has been clamping down on parking policies of local governments and are about to introduce legislation against aggressive parking policies which will, for example, allow "grace periods" when parking outside shops on double yellows, just like in the old days. An end may be in sight then for situations, and it does happen, like the old man stopping outside the chemists, in the lay by outside my shop only to return to the car a few minutes later with the dreaded Penalty Charge Notice stuck on his windscreen after the lurking parking warden has done his dirty work. Let's hope so. Other measures mentioned in the reply were the confirmation of the £1,000 discount for two years of all retailers in shops with a rateable value of less than £50,000. So that would be most small shops on Tonbridge High Street but not, say, Waitrose and other supermarkets and probably not, say, the Oriental Buffet and Starbucks, who might fall just outside. The smallest of businesses with shop premises will have their rate relief doubled for a further period and this, effectively, means that they will pay no business rates. This was the case in my smaller older shop on Bank Street for example. Furthermore, businesses reoccupying a vacant premises will automatically receive rate relief of 50% for 18 months.This would apply to quite a few of the premises in the shopping arcades at the south end of the High Street and the boarded up unit at the end of Church Lane. Opportunities therefore are perhaps being created for such people with an entrepreneurial streak. The reply from Mr. Pickles department also confirmed that local authorities have wide ranging powers of discretion to grant business rates discounts "as they see fit." So, in theory at least, they ought to be able to offer increased relief to say butchers, bakers and, er hum, bookshops but not, say mobile phone shops. The only thing is that Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council seem to be interpreting these discretionary powers under the Localism Act 2011 (which I'm sure everyone has read!) in a completely different way to those for which they appear to have been intended. The only way I'm aware of businesses getting further business rate relief, over and above statutory ones, are by applying for a "Hardship Relief" which is, effectively, means tested and very involved. So what is happening to the money set aside for this extra rate relief intended as a stimulus to the High Street? Search me! Perhaps a spokesperson for the borough council would care to elaborate....

Small Biz Uk??

Well Small Business Saturday came and went with a bit of a fizzle. I honestly can't say that I noticed any uplift in trade whatsoever. Might take a few years to catch on. Perhaps it was more successful in other towns. Another great American idea which us Brits aren't quite ready for? They're also trying to make Black Friday and Cyber Monday British traditions along with Halloween which has already caught in in a big way. Will they catch on here? Time will tell but my money's on Yes they will. The likes of Walmart, who are behind such retail schemes, have very deep pockets indeed....

Tomorrow is Small Business Saturday....

I'm sure that you all knew this already but just in case you didn't. TOMORROW IS SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY. What does this mean? Well you can of course read more about it in a Guardian article here. But basically it is what it says. It encourages the public to go into their local town centres and buy from small retailers and other businesses. Naturally, they did it in America first where it has been successful for a couple of years already. Apparently that opposition shadow minister fella, Chuka Umunna, who's out to make a name for himself, was astute enough to bring it over the pond. TonbridgeBlog has always of course been a great supporter of all things local so is right behind this one. I just hope every independent shop (including mine of course) sees a huge surge in business tomorrow. I keep saying this I know, but it is perfectly possible to do ALL your Christmas shopping right here in your home town. Save petrol, save time and save your local community shops while you're at it....

Thanks George, that's Grand....

As I read it George Osborne yesterday gave the High Street a shot in the arm. If I am getting this right, and I think I am, he gifted me £1,000 a year for two years as a discount on my business rates. Effectively that's straight in my back pocket and therefore very welcome. Don't underestimate the impact of this measure for small retailers; in my case that's over a third reduction in rates. I'd love to see them removed all together for a period of time, that would be a massive boost to high streets everywhere, but I'll take this for now. The Chancellor went further and said in his Autumn Statement that retailers taking up vacant shop units would have business rates halved and that there is to be a review of the whole business rates structure. And not before time; it may be too late for some enterprises who will have found life too hard these last few years and will have given up the ghost but for new kids on the block these are encouraging signs. There's probably never been a better time to start a business if you have an idea or have found a gap in the market. Commercial rents are pretty low and business rates are becoming lower. As far as shops are concerned TonbridgeBlog predicts opportunities in the High Street for a men's fashion shop, a gadget style shop, a traditional sweet shop, artisan baker, camera shop and an electrical retailer....

Pursued by Bishops....

Bishop James Langstaff, The Bishop of Rochester, paid Slade Primary School a rare visit earlier this week. TonbridgeBlog is reliably informed that he took the assembly, told the children about Advent and enjoyed a sneak preview of the Nativity play.....

Bishop James (back row) standing with the children and staff at Slade last Monday. Who's the lad with the cool shades?!

If only dogs could drive!

Thought I'd share with you a rather unusual, but charming, explanation as to why one of the many deliveries of books I receive is running a bit late. There's certainly a few odd balls in the book trade and I can feel myself turning into one of them by the day!

"Hello M.,

Firstly, thanks again for your order for A Fight For A Life. The Story Of A West African Convert And His Friends by Frances M. Hensley which is already on the way to you, this being merely a note to confirm when you should be in receipt. I would appreciate your feedback and confirmation that it reaches you in good order. You should receive this by Monday, 9th of December 2013 at the latest and I will check in with you after that date to ensure it has been received and meets your expectations.

May I also apologise, profusely, for the delay in shipping your book. I am a one man operation and sometimes it is simply not possible for me to get to my, rather remote, storage unit quickly enough. Not my usual service I can assure you, but until I have minions, or the Jack Russells master the art of driving or serving customers properly this does, occasionally, happen. If I can be of any further assistance don't hesitate to contact me. Any questions can be directed to me by replying to this email. I take customer service seriously and if you are unhappy in any way, please, tell me - I am always trying to improve my service to keep customers coming back... and my Jack Russells in the lavish lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

Kind regards,


David Gower-Spence, Owner.
BookLovers of Bath"

The Magnificent Tonbridge Christmas Lights Switch On and Fireworks Extravaganza....

....Sorry I missed it!
I was doing a book fair in Dorking. I did hear the music and fireworks when I got back. You couldn't not hear them from anywhere in the town! Hope everyone enjoyed it and no doubt the local paper will have lots of lovely pictures....

Russian Roulette....

Tonbridge's Anthony Horowitz fans will remember queuing up outside Mr. Books on a cold  afternoon back in February. They will almost certainly also already know that his new book, Russian Roulette, which was actually being written at the time of his book signing here, is in the shops and available to order from Mr. Books. Anthony's assistant has just mentioned to me that he will be talking to fans at the St. James Theatre in London on Sat. December 7th at 11am. Some tickets are still available if you're quick....

Anthony Horowitz and a nervous looking Mr. Books at February Book signing

Hans Christian Andersen's tales alive at Mr. Books!...

The picture doesn't do it justice. Come and see for yourselves

That Raven is watching you!

And here it is the pictures you've all been waiting for..... The new Mr. Books window display. Very Christmasy? Well sort of but actually with some very dark undertones. It's loosely based on the story of The Snow Queen which, as I'm sure you all know, is a Hans Christian Andersen Fairy Story which tells a moral story of the fight between good and evil. You know the usual kind of folk lore stuff. It looks far better when you see it live so come and have a look when you're passing. No, make that come and have a look by dropping everything and making a special trip tomorrow!
Mrs. Books can be proud of her creation I hope you will all agree. In fact I think I might start hiring her out!...

An Entrepreneur at Work!....

A rare photo of Yours Truly taken by someone who came into my shop calling himself "Schubert" which I think is his made up photographer arty name and not his real name, who wanted to shoot me for a series he's doing called "Entrepreneurs at Work." for a photo web site called blipfoto. Not the most flattering picture I've ever seen of myself but pretty natural none the less so I quite like it. I like the sound of "entrepreneur" as well. Never really thought of myself as that....

The Snow Queen....

Like all great fairy tales The Snow Queen is a story of good triumphing over evil. It tells how the innocence of a little girl saves her little boy friend from certain damnation after his heart has become corrupted by the evil from a shattered magic mirror. What's this got to do with anything? Come and have a look at the latest window display at Mr. Books Bookshop to find out!...

Selfies....

Egg Head



Caught in the sites

I heard on the news this morning that "Selfie" is the top new word to enter the Oxford English Dictionary this year. Now I know that some of you Tonbridge Blog readers object to our ever changing language so some will view this as a change for the worst. I just see it as a great opportunity to play around with some images of myself and post them here for you all to ridicule me....



Good Morning Piccadilly....

School Report....

Slade Primary School are the only primary school right at the heart of Tonbridge. I have a special interest in them as my daughter went there from years 3 to 6. The motto of Best Team Happy may not be some age old Latin phrase but it typifies the ethos of the school. Mrs. Resch who has been Head Teacher there since 1999 has had a huge influence on the school. As a front person for a school they don't come much better for first and indeed lasting impressions. The only thing is, even though I've known her for seven or eight years now, both through the school and socially, I still find it hard to call her Vivienne. I can't put my finger on why other than that's just what you do where teachers are concerned, even with someone as warm as she is . So, Mrs. Resch is what I shall continue to call her. Best Team Happy is what they are all about and it shows. Right from day one the children learn that they should do their best, work together and be happy themselves and help others be happy around them. As an ethos for a school goes it's not a bad one is it. So imagine how flattered I was when Mrs. Resch walked into Mr. Books a couple of weeks ago and asked if I would help them out with their public relations to enable them to reach out more to the community and tell them what the school is all about.....

The Week ahead....

What's happening this week? Any events going on that you'd like to share with the people of Tonbridge on TonbridgeBlog?
Up and down the High Street nearly all the shops have their Christmas windows dressed and Mr. Books will be doing the same later in the week. Consultant Creative Director, sometimes known as Mrs. Books, promises that it could be her best yet and, knowing what she has planned for it, I think she could be right. You'll have to wait and see....

BOok ArT attack....

A while ago I wrote to the schools in Tonbridge asking if they'd like to take part in a "Book Art" competition for a bit of fun (and some book token prizes.) For a while I thought that no one had received my email and I put the idea away as another one of my whims. Then, right on deadline, two schools' art teachers arrive with bundles of beautiful book art of all descriptions. The brief was pretty wide open and was to come up with a unique piece of art which, in some way, involved books. I knew that the interpretations would be wonderfully varied and so it proved. We've only had entrants from Hillview and Hayesbrook so far so come on Judd, Hugh Christie, Weald of Kent and TGS. Maybe it'll be too late for this year unless you're very quick but it could be back next year by popular demand. Here's a few of the entries sitting in the window at Mr. Books where they'll be on display for about a week....

Gary Bunt: Artist....

Apparently Tonbridge artist Gary Bunt's paintings sell for quite a sum these days. Good luck to the guy as he fought a well publicized long fight with cancer some years back. I'm not sure I'd pay thousands for any of these but I do really like several of them. Lowry-esque with a hint of Beryl Cook thrown in for good measure. See what you think here

Tonbridge Tree Huggers....

Nick Clegg keeps writing to me even though I was only a member of the Lib Dem party for a year and haven't been for about five years. Now he's banging on about green issues when, as he points out, most Tories on the other side of the Coalition have quietly let it drop. This is what he had to say:

"Dear Mark,

This week I made one of my most important speeches of the year. Miss it? I wouldn’t be surprised: it was on the environment – an issue that used to be the height of fashion across Westminster but has now fallen out of the political vogue.

I met with green groups so that they could hear direct, from me, that the Liberal Democrats are as committed as ever to the green agenda. Back when the Coalition formed, the Conservatives said they wanted this to be the greenest Government ever. We haven’t forgotten and every day we’re holding them to their word.

It doesn’t make for a particularly quiet life in Whitehall. To be honest, I think the Tories find it baffling. They’ve decided that there are no longer votes in green issues because people are too busy worrying about the economy – and they can’t fathom why we still care. And yet last month all of us sat to hear Sir Mark Walport, the Government’s Chief Scientific Advisor, set out the threat of climate change in the plainest possible terms. He said politicians need to stop asking if climate change is happening, or if humans are responsible for it. We need to get on with tackling it. What more do the doubters need?

You would, on this occasion, expect Ed Miliband to get it. He is a former Climate Change Secretary after all. But Labour’s populist promise to temporarily freeze energy bills would be a huge blow to our green commitments. Not only is it a con – with the energy companies bound to hike up prices before and after the freeze – but it would also massively undermine investment in our renewables industry, threatening clean energy and thousands of jobs.

So it’s up to us to keep pushing policies that protect our environment – whether that’s our 5p charge on plastic bags, cutting greenhouse gases, or getting more low carbon cars on our roads.

I’m green because I want to hand on the best world possible to our children and grandchildren – tell me why you’re green too.

Best wishes,

Nick Clegg"


So is he just a sandal wearing namby pamby tree hugging liberal or are these policies still relevant as we come out of one of the worst recessions in centuries? What do you think and does it have any relevance to Tonbridge?...

Neither Trick nor Treat....

Walking in south Tonbridge last week I noticed this gem in the window of a house (which shall remain numberless) on Woodfield Road.

"We do not celebrate Halloween in this house
so please do not disturb us"

So are they just miserable people with no sense of what young folk like and no willingness to adapt to modern ways or have they got a good point? Back in my youth they'd have been prime candidates to have their gates lifted (now there's another tale!) if indeed they had any gates to lift....

Tonbridge Books....

Walking with a history lesson sounds good to me. Margaret Beston's poetry always moves me

About to be reprinted. Just as well as Mr. Books is down to last 3 copies

If you want to buy someone (maybe yourself) a book with a local connection this Christmas then why not consider one of these. All very decent in their own right and yet all quite different. All of course available at all good bookshops.... and Mr. Books! Prices vary but none of them will cost you anything like a take away meal for two....

Bob Turcan's is a nice enough pictorial guide. Three Chevrons tells us the history of the
thousand years of the Clare family -as in the Tonbridge Castle founders if you didn't know

Happy Halloween everybody!...

Don't go falling asleep in the bath now!

Italian cuisne in Orpington anyone?...

Found myself in Orpington last night, for reasons I haven't got time to go into but wanted to mention the restaurant we ended up eating dinner in called Café Medi. Didn't look much from the outside and right on main drag of the High Street nearly put us off. But £12.95 for set priced menu sounded good to me so in we went (not before having walked the whole length of the street and back to see what the choice was.) Let me just say that it was really fabulous not just for the price but fabulous full stop. I think it's a popular place anyway but, if you are ever over that way pay them a visit and you almost certainly won't be disappointed. Apparently the head chef is a bit moody (aren't they all?!) but, hey, if the food's that good who cares so long as he stays in the kitchen! You can see their menu here

Ann Treneman at Mr. Books last Saturday....

And here is Ann Treneman during the book signing event at Mr. Books and standing proudly outside the shop just before.
"It was great of Ann to agree to come along last Saturday and it's not every day that you get The Time Political Sketch Writer, a journalist with such a fabulous reputation in my small independent bookshop in little old Tonbridge," said a thrilled Mr. Books! "Oh and there are still some signed copies left in stock in the shop." He added....

Jane Austen? Hardly recognisable....

I loved this story in The Telegraph about Jane Austen being given the "Katie Price treatment" as her face is to feature on the new £10 note. For a moment I thought it was referring to something else but that part of her anatomy appears not to be in view so I suppose it must be talking about the way she has been 'touched up' to use a photographer's parlance. As many of you will know Jane Austen's family come from around these parts and there is a very active Tonbridge branch of the Jane Austen Society. I'm sure they'll be tickled by the story....

Sweet smells....

Blimey those Drytec smells in Tonbridge can be a bit overpowering!...

Will it be 1987 Storms all over again?....

Let's hope not but it could be time to batten down the hatches if weather reports are anything to go by. Are you listening Michael Fish?! Bob Ogley, who found fame by writing In the Wake of the Hurricane and many other Kent history books, will have his pen at the ready!...

Ann Treneman at Mr. Books tomorrow....

She's The Times political sketch writer, she appeared on the Andrew Marr Show last Sunday to give her views on the stories in the Sunday papers. She's very approachable and I'm sure won't bite and she'll be signing books and talking to customers at Mr. Books from 2pm to 4pm tomorrow (that's Saturday.) This is a great chance to meet Ann and perhaps have her sign her latest book, Finding the Plot 100 Graves to Visit Before You Die, for you. It sounds a bit of a deadly topic but I assure you it it'll be worth getting hold of a copy.

"It's a slight departure from Ann's usual political sketches but it's still a great read and is written in her usual deadpan (geddit?) style!" Commented Mr. Books.....

Tonbridge People Power....

Thanks for the masses of comments coming through about the new Angel Centre development it shows that, when there is something major happening in the town, people really do start to get involved. Whether it changes the outcome remains to be seen but a bit of people power often goes a long way....