I don't often go on a pub crawl in Tonbridge. Or anywhere else for that matter. So last night, on a crazy summertime whim, my wife and I set off on our optimistic tour to try the beers in the pubs of South Tonbridge on a Monday night! Full of hope (well we don't get out much!) our first stop was the Primrose Inn on Pembury Road, which could be described as my local, except I've only actually been in there maybe four times in my 22 years living in Tonbridge, which might tell a story in itself. The beer was a very passable Harvey's Best Bitter but I'm afraid the atmosphere was a near death experience as a handful of regulars sat around watching football on the large sport screen. Well I guess it was Man United vs Tottenham and the first home game of the Premier League title holder's season so I might have expected this. We sat and chatted in a quieter corner and might well have stayed longer but for the task we'd set ourselves of having a half pint in each of the pubs we hardly ever frequent.
Next stop was The Cardinal's Error, right on the far edge of town, an old, many say haunted, drinking establishment. The choice of beer was uninspiring so I'm afraid it was another Harvey's for me and, even worse, a John Smith's Smooth, for my wife. I always find Harvey's Best a little too hoppy but I must say this one was perfectly acceptable. Again though the atmosphere was completely killed by the football coverage which this time seemed to be on full volume. They did have a covered area outside mainly for the smokers but even there the sports screen dominated so we had to sit in the corner so we could talk a little over the Mancunian strains of Gary Neville's half time summary of a goaless period. The trouble is I am a bit of a fan but if I'd wanted to watch the game I probably would have stayed at home and drank cheaper and nicer beer, but it was hard to keep my eyes from drifting over to the action on the TV screens. So we stayed for just the one half, didn't see a ghostly image of a lady in wide a brimmed hat and moved on to our next destination, The New Drum down Lavender Hill way. This is the sort of pub where you just know that the regulars will look at you as you walk in and indeed that proved to be the case. It reminded me just a little of that scene from American Werewolf in London when the two young tourists walk into the Yorkshire pub and everything goes silent! I exaggerate of course but you get the idea. This pub always looks out of place to me, almost like it should just be a house, but I guess that's how all pubs once were. Here it was impossible to get away from the football as there seemed to be a large screen on every wall. All eyes, except the barmaid's (who said she couldn't stand the game) were on one of the screens. The beer was Harvey's again but also Green King IPA and, curiously, Doom Bar, a Cornish light bitter which I'd tried many times on my holidays in that part of the world and is normally very refreshing. Problem was that I think I was the only person who'd sampled it that evening as I'm pretty sure I got the beer that had been kept warm in the pipes. Consequently it wasn't very enjoyable so that half became the quickest downed of the evening so that we could move on. But where to go next....
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