More on A Boards....

Thanks very much for the anonymous comment yesterday tipping off traders that there is a new scheme called 'A Board Aware' which seems to be allowing businesses to use A Boards so long as they do so with consideration for pedestrians. It is particularly aimed at avoiding obstructions on the pavement for mothers with push chairs, wheel chair users and disabled people. Now that seems fair enough to me. I would say that my A Board has always complied with this new Kent County Council initiative so I do feel a little like I'm being forced to agree with the rather obvious. That said I suppose there's always that small minority of traders who just don't care about anyone else and will stick their board in the middle of the main A21 if they thought that they could get away with it. The vast majority of traders though are much more thoughtful citizens and are part of the community themselves; they probably have families themselves and, generally, would want to totally minimise obstruction of the pavement.

Anyway I've applied for my special window sticker that tells all my lovely customers that I'm on board with the A Board Aware scheme! I'm quite sure that they'll all feel much warmer towards me for that and spend even more of their hard earned cash in Mr. Books! If you're really interested, and I've no idea why most of you would be, then here's the email I sent to KCC Roadworks Licencing (yes it really does fall under their jurisdiction.)

"Hello, I've just found out about this excellent new scheme and would like to sign up to comply with the requirements of the scheme.

The A board to me, especially in the current difficult economic climate is an essential way of drawing people off the High Street and into my shop. I would go as far as to say that I would find it incredibly difficult to survive without one. I would always be responsible when placing the board on the pavement outside my shop being always mindful of pedestrians. In fact this is relatively easy for me, being on the corner of Bank Street where there is a very wide pavement at the apex of the junction with the High Street. I would never place the A board on the main thoroughfare of the pavement or public highway.

I would be delighted to display a window sticker demonstrating that I fully support the A Board Aware scheme. My business and contact details are below and please see pictures of my A Board in typical position,

Regards"

A-Boards on the High Street....

I saw a lady out this morning taking photos of  A-boards, you know: those wooden and metal swinging signs that stand outside shops and pubs. Was this a photography project of some sort I wondered to myself as I approached her, realising that I knew her. Perhaps she's building up a portfolio of the most interesting designs to put in her file, I thought. I didn't ask her what she was up to but she offered an explanation anyway. She was sick of seeing the boards the length of the High Street, getting in the way and ruining the look of the whole street. I was in too much of a hurry to get into a debate with her about this subject but felt like saying something and sort of wished I had; but that's the beauty of a blog you see: I can say it now! She had a go at the council and the Highways agency for not doing something about this appalling, asthetically unpleasing, sight, as she described it. It would be unkind for me to name this lady and I'm quite sure she meant very well but I have to say that it would be a bad time for the council to clamp down on this problem. You see A-boards are on the street for one reason only and that is to drum up business, to get the passer by to think: Oh I must go in there or Oh I never realised there was a cafe down there. Without these signs, mine included, many businesses probably would struggle even more to get people to stop and walk those few yards into their shops. I can of course see both sides of the argument, and businesses need to be careful when placing them on the street, but what would she rather see? A-boards along the street or a street full of empty shops for that is the stark choice facing us at the moment. It's not as if they're a new invention is it? They've been around as long as shops and Inns have. Time to get real I think.... 

The great lights turn off....

Once again I had to miss the switching on of the Christmas lights down Tonbridge High Street. So I'm yet to see them in all their festive glory. My kids went along and reported back to me that they'd enjoyed the whole thing. The only question I have is: What's with the fireworks? I thought we'd had Guy Fawkes night and the preceding two months of fizzes, cracks and bangs that go with it these days. Did we really need any more? I know we all need a bit of Christmas cheer but I just don't get it with the fireworks all the time. Summer festival of music? Oh let's finish each night with a firework show and pollute the air over the town and wake up all the kids and disturb all the dogs in the town centre.  Summer Carnival? Why of course they wouldn't be complete without more of the same! Christmas time, a time for rejoicing and Peace on Earth? Let's ruin it with yet more of them. Still at least the tax payer wasn't picking up the bill for it this time. What? What's that you say? The borough council paid for it out of their Leisure Services budget? Surely not in these times of austerity! It's just a shame that they can't get their priorities right and actually sort out the street lights at the north end of the town as well. It really is becoming pathetic now that a town like Tonbridge constantly has 6 or 7 lights not working on the short stretch between the Ivy House and the Big Bridge. Apparently they are, and I kid you not, the wrong type of bulbs! That is to say Kent County Council, who are responsible for the Highways (which includes street lighting) push the problem back to Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council because these lights are not the standard type and, because they're in the Conservation Area of the town KCC cannot replace the whole light. I know that Tonbridge Blog has moaned on about this before but it really does beggar belief that they can't sort this problem out between them. Lights are supposed to be for the whole year and not just for Christmas!...

Neighbourhood Watch....

Don't be caught out like the gravelly voiced TV presenter Mariella Frostrup was recently when she innocently (so she says) placed 2 pampass grass plants on the balcony of her London home. What's the problem with that you might well ask? Well you should perhaps be aware, as Ms. Frostrup apparently wasn't, that pampass grass is the national symbol for swingers! So if you spot any houses in you neighbourhood with these wonderfully flamboyant plants growing in their front gardens you now know the possible reason. Quite a few growing in Hildenborough when I last drove that way. Well there's not much else to do out there!...

Trains through Tonbridge....

If the previous YouTube clip from local rapper, Danny Who, was just too much for you then you can always calm your nerves down by watching this train clip. It's a video of, well, a train passing through Tonbridge station. It seems to me that every other YouTube clip of Tonbridge is a train passing through Tonbridge Station. I'm afraid I just don't get this train spotting thing. I'm not trying to knock someone's hobby here but really, what is the point? Aren't trains just, pretty much, all the same these days? Now steam trains, that's a different matter. Now you're talking!...

Welcome to Tonbridge....

Local rapper Danny Who's Welcome to Tonbridge has over 32,000 hits on YouTube making it one of the most watched clips of anything on the site relating to our town. Is it social comment or is it just a bit of a rap rant? I'll let you decide....

Even Barbers Feeling the Cuts....

Is it economic doom and gloom everywhere and all around us or are the green shoots of recovery beginning to push through? On the news Philip Green is explaining why his BHS, Burton, Evans etc. clothing group are suffering a profits downfall of 38%. Also in the news only yesterday it was feared that 150 year old travel agents, Thomas Cook, a name almost synonymous with package holidays, might be in deep doo doo. Shares plummeted on the stock market and people feared the worst. Closer to home I'm certainly finding it tougher than ever this year as people tighten their belts, shops close left right and centre as their leases run out and the shopkeepers think: what's the point! I've just had a conversation with a barber who is finding things very slow at the moment. Now you wouldn't think that barbers would be suffering would you? Sales of up market hair care products yes maybe but just getting your barnet cut? Surely people don't stop doing that do they? Well it seems that even looking good has to go by the wayside as people decide to delay that trim just another couple of weeks. I notice that even David Beckham is growing his hair longer and slicking it back so maybe even Becks is feeling the pinch! Can things get any worse? But cheer up everyone it is nearly Christmas....

Text: Murder....

A local author by the name of George Wensley has just brought his book in to ask me if I'd like to stock it in my shop. It's a murder mystery, based in Eastbourne, called Text: Murder and, from what I've read so far, looks as if it's well worth a read. It occurred to me after my discussion with George that maybe Tonbridge book groups should support local authors more often. It would be an excellent way to get the book reviewed and, if the book is any good, word would spread to others in the town and beyond. Maybe feedback could be published on TonbridgeBlog for all to see. That way if the book is any good it may not be overlooked as is very often the case. Not a bad thought really. The book is available at Mr. Books, naturally, priced £7.99 instead of the RRP price of £12.99. If you're quick you can have the only signed copy in the shop....

Civic Society Talk tonight....

TonbridgeBlog is looking forward to going down to the Angel Centre tonight for a Closer Look at Old Tonbridge. The Civic Society are hosting a talk by Pat Hopcroft and Anthony Wilson, of Tonbridge Historical Society, who will tell us about what the town used to be like and show us some photographs of Tonbridge which we don't usually get to see. The Hist Soc have written many authoritative books about our dear town down the ages and TBlog hears that they may be planning another one. Go along tonight and you may well find out more. Non members are usually welcomed for a small charge on the night. This will be my first TCS talk of the new season but, since I'm a member, I won't have to fork out. There's free tea or coffee and biccies and some excellent company. The show starts at 8pm with refreshments from 7-30pm. You can see the society's full programme of talks on their web site....

Speed Cameras: A Fair Cop?

I've only ever been nicked for speeding once before. I was coming back down the hill from Frant into Tunbridge Wells about seven years ago and didn't spot the speed camera sign, didn't slow down quick enough, saw the flash in my rear view mirror and thought: "It's a fair cop!" A few days later the official looking letter arrived from Sussex Police, with photographic evidence and I paid up without much of a moan. Last week, driving back from Uckfield and Crowborough, I had a really easy, pleasant little trip and didn't think very much of the journey at all. Clear roads, a little foggy with sunshine breaking through from what I remember. So imagine my surprise then when, a few days later, I got another little official looking letter from Sussex Police with those dreaded words "Notification of Intended Prosecution" Apparently I'd been clocked doing 53 in a 40 zone through Eridge Green! No photos were sent to back up the allegation, I have to request them in writing. I can't recall the incident at all, I can't say I noticed anything unusual in that area, I didn't nearly cause an accident, I don't consider that I was in any way driving dangerously that day. In fact quite the reverse, I'm pretty sure that I'm a considerate, careful, experienced driver. I don't feel that I've been taught any lesson, other than perhaps to always drive like a learner in Sussex, since I didn't realise I'd committed a crime. I always get the feeling that the emphasis of GATSO speed cameras is to catch you out after the event; far more effective for me are those signs which light up in front of you to tell you that you're speeding and to slow down. They work for me and make me do just that. Speed cameras just make you feel resentment and frustration. Yes I know that if I'd driven slower then I wouldn't have got a ticket but I can't be the only one left feeling cheated by this experience. I think I'll stick to riding my bike, I can go as fast as I like, it keeps me fit and it hardly costs a penny....

I don't want to sound uncharitable but....

One interesting piece in the local papers this week and also in the national news, thanks in no small part to Government retail "Csarina" Mary Portas, is the whole question of how many charity shops should be tolerated in Britain's High Streets. The Queen of Shops, Ms Portas, seems to be putting a strong case forward for their numbers being limited so that the High Street can breath more easily and be potentially more appealing to more upmarket retailers and customers instead of being, half boarded up, no-go areas. Now, I'm not suggesting Tonbridge has become that but, let's face it: it isn't what it once was. Question is: can this practicably be achieved? Is there even a problem? Shouldn't market forces just determine their number? Maybe, in the current economic climate there just wouldn't be any other business people willing to risk taking out leases and all the other costs involved in shop fitting and setting up the a business. But should charities be given preferential treatment on rates and, in many cases, rents when there are non-charity businesses trying to compete for the same shop units. It's my understanding that many landlords actually quite like charities being in their properties because these organisations are perceived as fairly safe bets being, often, national or global businesses with many other similar successful shops in other towns. In effect they are proven success stories. On the other side of the coin though you might take a longer term view and say that the increased numbers of charity shops, and Tonbridge has 12 in the town centre by my reckoning, is blighting once vibrant High Streets, which had a broad range of traditional shops, and driving many shoppers to other nearby towns where charity shops melt into the background because there's a much wider choice of other shops. Being a retailer myself in the town I am up against some charity shops who have far better locations than my shop, an army of volunteers (Oxfam aims for 40 so it has been reported) professional shop fitters, retail analysts and experienced managers all at their disposal. Fair competition? Oh and they also get free stock! It's difficult to argue against charity shops without sounding, well, uncharitable but it is tough at times to compete with them. However, like most small business owners who love what they do, I personally will keep going for as long as I possibly can, until the bitter end if necessary. It does seem though somewhat ironic that many of these charities seem to have much deeper pockets than the businesses they might be helping to drive away. It will be interesting to see the reaction to Mary P's report when it comes out and to see whether anything actually changes....

PS. The 12 Charity shops in Tonbridge are, in no particular order: Bridge Trust, Hospice in Weald, Scope, British Heart Foundation, Help the Aged, Oxfam Books, Shelter, Mencap, Hospice of Hope, YMCA, Barnardos and the Tamworth Childrens Hospice.

Throwing stones in my glass house....

Blogging can be a bit of a lonely experience at times. In fact often you don't always know who, if anyone, is reading it or, indeed, whether there's much point to it at all; most of the comments left tend to be of the negative variety which, I suppose, is because it's alot easier to moan about stuff than it is to say positive things. So it's always nice to get feedback of any kind, this time, from an unlikely source. A week or so ago I had little side swipe at our dear friend Higgsworth at the Courier who took exception to my referring to his column as "pointless." It was only a passing comment in a piece about my dislike for the way fireworks night has stretched into weeks. It seems to have struck a bit of a raw nerve though with Mr. H. as he mentions Tonbridge Blog in this week's offering in a none too favourable light. No offence mate, calm down there, because actually, in truth, I quite enjoy reading your weekly little rants and feel that there's probably a brighter personality just itching to get out of that self imposed curmudgeonly straight jacket!...

Exclusive: Olympic Torch coming to Tonbridge and Malling....

It seems that Tonbridgeblog was wrong. Yes I know that's hard to believe but, on this occasion, I'll have to hold my hands up and admit it. The Olympic Torch, so I'm reliably informed will after all be coming to the borough of Tonbridge and Malling. Oh yes, on 20th July 2012, you'll be able to witness the historic, symbollic flame. But don't get the bunting and party hats out just yet for, unless you happen to be a resident of Borough Green, or have very strong binoculars, then you still won't be seeing it in your town. The torch will be winding its way through the village on it's way to Seal and Sevenoaks and still won't come within ten miles of Tonbridge. Yep I reckon that calls for another one of those DLT moments: Quack, quack oops!...

(PS. For younger readers of this blog DLT was what Radio One dj Dave Lee Travis used to call himself. On his morning show he used a number of sound effects like the quack, quack oops, trumpets and other devices to achieve a humorous effect. Or at least so he thought. I once saw DLT live and he came on stage dressed as Darth Vader so you sort of get the idea of the size of the man's ego. To say that he thought highly of himself is an understatement and would be a bit like saying Hitler had rather strong views!)

War Memorial Deserves Better....

I don't want this to sound in any way uncharitable or disrespectful to our war dead or people who are serving their country and risking their lives right now. I have nothing but the deepest admiration and respect for them and I really mean that. But I can't help thinking that the plans, as pictured in the Kent and Sussex Courier last weekend, for the refurbished war memorial in Tonbridge costing around £250,000 could be improved upon. The artist's impression looks for all the world like they're just going to cut the grass, clean up the pavement areas and trim the hedges. Unless that cost includes years worth of ongoing repairs and maintenance how is that a quarter of a million quid well spent? Our war dead deserve better than this token effort....

Free Parking in Tonbridge??..

Tunbridge Wells car parks already charge on a Sunday and, according to a local press report last week, they are considering doing the same into the evening. If you're reading this Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!! It's enough of a problem putting off potential customers for traders in busier, more vibrant town centres and that Tonbridge definitely is not. In fact I'd say that there's a substantial argument why Tonbridge should have free parking reintroduced most days, at least for the first two hours, if our council is serious about encouraging shoppers here. At the moment why would they come apart from for essentials when they can park free at Bluewater for nothing, catch a train to London, park free in Paddock Wood or pay similar charges with much more choice in Tunbridge Wells? Is it the job of the council to milk shoppers dry, impose ridiculous fines, discourage trade and therefore traders from doing business in the town? The answer to that has to be a resounding NO! Please take a long term view on this TMBC, forget about short term gains in revenue, before there are no shops left to save....

Tonbridge Goes Cheesy Crackers....

This looks like the right place Grommit!

The Tonbridge Farmers Market on Sunday was fantastic. The weather helped as hundreds of people gathered around the sixty or so stalls. Ten of those stalls had come especially since it was Cheese Day at the market. I couldn't believe my fromage-loving eyes when I was confronted with all manner of the fermented curd from farms all over Kent and some from further afield. Wonderful stuff and, to cap it all, Wallace and Grommit came along to join in.  That Wallace does like his Wensleydale you know! And so do I and bought about a months supply of different ones while I was there. Other than cheese there were all manner of other tasty treats from pickles and chutneys (anyone know the difference?) Kent apples and pears, meat, fish, beers, wine, cider, breads, chillies, sweets, cakes, olive oils, I could go on and on. In short it was a foodies' delight. There's even a covered food area where you can sit and enjoy your produce or try some hot food from the many stalls around that area serving everything from crepes to pork and apple burgers. Yummy! Just one slight complaint though: no crackers for sale anywhere. Not so much as a Jacobs cream one in sight! Despite this I'll still be back every month without fail. The market takes place every second Sunday of the month and is worth putting in your diary....

Do you think we ought to seize this bottle of cider Sarge?!

Crepes: A little French touch to the market

I want to buy some cheese!...

And don't forget that the Tonbridge Farmers Market is tomorrow, that's Sunday, at the very genteel time of 9-30 to 1pm. So you could even have a bit of a lie in and still be able to get down there at a reasonable time. There'll be lots of produce left whatever time you arrive as there are over 50 stalls there. It really is like a food festival and well worth a visit if you haven't been already. I'm particularly looking forward to it because I think tomorrow is "cheese day" and I simply love the stuff. From the single most popular cheese in the world, Cheddar to Cheshire, Wensleydale, Brie, Roquefort , Port Salut, Danish Blue, Red Leicester, Lord of the Hundreds Sheeps Cheese, Goats Cheese, Danish Blue, Gorgonzola you name it I'll eat it. In fact that rather reminds me of that famous Monty Python Sketch, one of their best ever. I remember a mate way back in my Sixth Form days who once recited the whole sketch from start to finish. Some feat I can tell you. If you, like me, have fond memories of that sketch you can read about it and see a full list of the cheeses here or even see it on YouTube here Otherwise just go to the market tomorrow and taste a few for yourself....

Angel Centre Events....

....And here's the list of the other events and meetings coming up at the Angel Centre soon. Okay it makes pretty boring reading but useful nonetheless. I wonder what they do at the Gassers and Rubber Fanciers Club. The mind boggles but I'm told it's all very innocent and they stand around talking about miniature planes and modelling. (A likely story!)

REGULAR EVENTS - MEETINGS, CLUBS & SOCIETIES
Tonbridge Modern Sequence Dance Club meets weekly on Monday and Thursday at 10am in the Medway Hall - beginners welcome.
Weight Watchers sessions take place every Tuesday at 12.45pm and 6.15pm in the Jubilee Room. Contact 08457 123000 for more information.
Blood Donors Session will take place in the Medway Hall on Thursday 17 November and 29 December.  For further information contact the National Blood Transfusion Service on 0845 771 1711.
Tonbridge U3A  Meetings held in the Medway Hall at 2pm on the first Wednesday of every month.  Next meeting on 4 January, speaker Edward Perry - Presentation on "Food." For further information visit http://angelcentre.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=d0a2e25d89396abb14c533532&id=9aa4d8f0e7&e=c7037b3930.
Tonbridge Flower Arrangement Club will meet on Wednesday 23 November and Wednesday 8 December at 2.15pm. New members welcome.
Tonbridge Civic Society will be held on Tuesday 22 November, speaker Pat Hopcroft & Anthony Wilson - "A closer look at old Tonbridge." The following meeting on Tuesday 13 December, speaker Pat Mortlock - "A Country House Christmas."  Meetings are held in the Riverside Lounge at 8pm, for more information visit http://angelcentre.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=d0a2e25d89396abb14c533532&id=41f8ec79f2&e=c7037b3930.
Tonbridge Decorative & Fine Arts Society  Meetings held monthly at 2.30pm in the Medway Hall - new members always welcome. On Thursday 24 November - 'Gourmet art? Cheers!"  Meeting on Thursday 26 January - David Roberts - "Artists Extraordinary."  For further information contact 01732 884728 or visit http://angelcentre.us2.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=d0a2e25d89396abb14c533532&id=b51331c4d4&e=c7037b3930.
The Society of Friends Meetings will take place on Sunday 20 November and Sunday 18 December in the Vauxhall Room. For further information contact Mrs Heydecker on 01732 365781.
Tonbridge Townswomen's Guild - The next meeting will be held on Wednesday 14 December from 10am to 12 noon.  The Guild meet on the second Wednesday of each month, new members always welcome.  For further details contact Mrs Knight-Smith on 01732 361751.
North Tonbridge Flower Arrangers  Meetings will be held on Thursday 24 November and Thursday 8 December - 7.45pm for 8pm.
Tonbridge Gassers & Rubbers Fanciers  Meetings will be held on Saturday 26 November and Saturday 28 January 2012.
Tonbridge Historical Society Next meeting on Thursday 8 December, speaker Raksha Dave - "Behind the scenes at Time Team."  For further information please visit http://angelcentre.us2.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=d0a2e25d89396abb14c533532&id=ac6b684500&e=c7037b3930.
Line Dancing  Friday at 1.30pm and 7pm.  For more information contact Mary on 01892 538322.
Zumba Classes held each Monday from 8pm to 9pm and 6.30pm to 7.30pm for Zumba Gold, please contact Nicky on 01892 616123 or 07761 481544.  Email nicky.zumba@btinternet.com.
Little Kickers Football Training  Classes take place on Sunday morning at 10am for children aged 18 months to 4.5 years.  For further information please call 0208 4320982 or visit http://angelcentre.us2.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=d0a2e25d89396abb14c533532&id=30e75d9c80&e=c7037b3930.
FAIRS, SALES & EVENTS
Friday Fleamarket - takes place weekly from 8am to 1pm in the Medway Hall.  Contact Mrs Carmichael 01732 456196 for further information or to book a stall.
Kids & Kaboodles Nearly New Sale - Saturday 19 November & 25 February. Newly new sale for boys and girls from birth to 7 years old.  Held on the last Saturday of every month from 2pm to 3.30pm. For bookings and further sale information please visit http://angelcentre.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=d0a2e25d89396abb14c533532&id=ac8b022109&e=c7037b3930.
Area Planning Meeting - Thursday 24 November at 7.30pm in the Riverside Lounge.
Antiques & Collectors Fair - Sunday 27 November from 10am to 4pm.  For more details contact Mrs Fuller on 01732 463575.
Senior Citizens Christmas Party - Thursday 15 December from 2pm to 5pm. This popular event includes live entertainment from local band More Tea Vicar, a Christmas tea with sherry, chocolates and hot drinks, plus a fabulous raffle which will be drawn by the Deputy Mayor of Tonbridge and Malling Councillor David Davis.
The party, which this year has been sponsored by local company Fidelity Worldwide Investments and organised by Angel Centre staff, is guaranteed to get all who attend in the festive mood!  Tickets cost just £2.50 per person but, with only 250 places available, please book early to avoid disappointment by calling the box office on 01732 359966.  
Cinderella - Friday 16 & Saturday 17 December  Presented by Tonbridge Lions Club and produced by Clips Theatre Company, Cinderella tells the story of a young girl whose life is made a misery by her ugly sisters and wicked stepmother until, in true panto style, her dreams come true with the help of her Fairy Godmother.  Performances take place at 7.30pm on Friday 16 December and 1pm and 6pm on Saturday 17 December.  Each performance will raise much needed funds for local charities.
Tickets cost £10 for adults, £8 for children/concessions and £30 for a family ticket.  Places are limited, so please book early to avoid disappointment!  To book your tickets please contact the box office on 01732 359966.

What's on at the Angel Cinema...

And just to show you that I do care about cinema in Tonbridge as well as T. Wells and Sevenoaks here's the listing (what there is of it) from the Angel Centre....

ANGEL CINEMA 

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (15) - Wednesday 30 November/Thursday 1 December - 4.45pm (ends 7.15pm) & 7.45pm (ends 10.15pm). Tickets can be purchased on the day or booked in advance by calling the Box Office - 01732 359966.

The next film(s) will be shown on Tuesday 10 and 11 January - programme to be confirmed. 

Rum Diary....

In the absence of Tonbridge having a cinema or an arts centre I was forced once again last night to venture over the hills to Sevenoaks Stag theatre and community arts thingy or whatever they call it. I wanted to see the new Johny Depp film Rum Diary which turned out to be an excellent choice. I'm not a huge fan of him as Captain Jack Sparrow but as Paul Kemp in this latest movie he shows himself as a very versatile actor. It's funny, full of philosophical one liners, dark and depressing in places, uplifting in others. The story, from what I can gather, is a little known one by Hunter S Thompson, an LSD taking, heavy drinking award winning journalist and cult novelist who died a few years ago and to whom the film is dedicated. It's a partly auto- biographical account of Puerto Rico in 1960 from the point of view of an idealistic, but Rum soaked, journalist working on a failing corrupt newspaper, played by Depp. It probably isn't everyone's cup of tea but I certainly enjoyed it. It's on at the Odeon as well if you prefer the comfort and large car park of that place but I'm growing rather fond on the, ever so slightly seedy, Stag Theatre with it's excellent screen and soft wide seats with lots of leg room. The pop corn is only £1.50 a large tub for salty or buttery which also helps!...

P'd Off with the PO!...

I was in a rush this morning to open up my shop. You see, even though I'm the boss and there's only me there, I still have a strong work ethic and want to get there on time. So imagine how delighted I was to see the queue at the main Post Office snaking almost out the door this morning. I had no choice really but to wait in line and take my turn. I've moaned about this in the past but I'll do it again and again until they do more to prevent it. It just isn't good enough to see 2 open out of a possible eight counters. Did they not realise that it's Saturday morning and more people are around to go about their business? After a few minutes, to give them their dues, two more clerks arrived (they probably call themselves sales consultants these days.) They ambled up to their counters stoney faced and with all the enthusiasm of a group of people on Death Row who'd just heard that the Governor's final decision was not what they'd hoped to hear!  Then there was a man with bags full of change and all sorts of forms he needed help with which you can't complain about since that's partly what the PO is for. There was an annoying woman who had all the time in the world doing what looked like her Christmas cards (in November for Christ's sake?!)  Even when she'd finished she was happy to stand and chat to the assistant. Again that's up to her, a bit inconsiderate perhaps, but still no real complaints. The chap serving though should have had the presence of mind to very politely ask her to stand aside so that he could serve one of the other thirty or so customers who by this time were seething in the queue behind. So instead of arriving at my shop in the nick of time I arrived twenty minutes late quite utterly P'd Off. They simply need more staff and better training at the PO that much is clear. While they're at it why not reopen some of the half a dozen sub Post Offices they've seen fit to close in the last few years....

Christmas comes early to Tonbridge....

I've been sent the details of Tonbridge Christmas Festival events coming up soon by those lovely people at Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council Leisure Services and it looks like we're in for a right old treat. It'll mostly be happening on a stage near the Big Bridge a bit like last year's. And, of course there'll be lights being switched on, bands playing, finished off with a gigantic fireworks display over the Castle. (It's a wonder that building has survived at all these last thousand years!)
There's even a fun fair with white knuckle rides and all sorts of stalls and treats from Friday November 25th right across the weekend. Then on Sunday 27th at 5 pm Mayor Brian "Whiskers" Luker will be switching on the lights helped by a load of jokers from a local Panto (well it's a tough thing to do on your own you know!) There'll be fun and games before that even with Carol singers at 2pm and musical entertainment before and after the lights. Can't wait.... Full details HERE

More on The Tonbridge Insider....

It seems that the Tonbridge Insider will indeed live on through its new owner, John Dickerson. I've just had a chat with him and he seems really switched on and has quite a few ideas to make the magazine more eyecatching and prominent. I must say that the feedback I've been getting of late has been very positive indeed so it would have been a real shame to see it go down just when it seemed to have turned a corner. John tells me that he is upping the circulation so that most of Tonbridge should get a copy through their door. If you don't receive one you can always read it online as a virtual magazine. I'm also pleased to say that the Tonbridge Log column will live on in the Insider. You won't find it in the November issue but I better get writing though as he needs copy for the December issue asap. Damn it what'll I write this time? I'm sure I'll think of something!...

Tonbridge Events....

If anyone has any social events they'd like to advertise then click on the comments box below to tell the folk of Tonbridge all about it. It won't take long and you are potentially reaching at least four people who live in the town (actually quite a few more than that)....

Forget, Forget the 5th of November....

Sorry to start the week sounding like a curmudgeon, after all I wouldn't want to end up sounding like that Higgsworth chap who writes that pointless column for the Courier every week, but I'll admit it I'm glad that Bonfire Night is over. There I've said it. As a lad I was never over keen on fireworks but at least then they had a certain novelty value since most experiences are fresh when you're growing up. With time fireworks have got bigger, brighter and increasingly loud so I suppose that should have kept my interest levels up. In recent years though I've just grown bored of them and wish they'd just, well, fizzle out. You can hear them from mid October onwards banging away, whirring and crackling until, by November 5th, they have virtually no impact because we've all had both ears full for nearly a month. I wouldn't mind it so much if it was just kept to the night itself. This year there was no excuse since the 5th actually fell on a Saturday and, despite the weather forecast, turned out to be a lovely clear, gently moonlit night. (So why ruin it with a load of unnecessary explosions some might say!) I'd have settled for that though and might even have enjoyed watching them for three minutes or so from the safe and free viewing point of my kitchen window. But oh no! They went on into Sunday and then even last night a few pops and whizzes and bangs could be heard across Tonbridge. Fireworks might be a bit of traditional fun for some but, I suspect, they've become yet another excuse to have a party and get drunk for many more people who probably aren't even aware of the religious discriminatory history attached to the night. (although I think they still burn an effigy of the Pope in Lewes every year so it ought to be pretty obvious!) Let's face it they are unnecessary, polluting, dangerous, smoke inducing, hazardous, annoying and many other descriptive words of that nature. Can't we just have a year when we forget them altogether?!..

Tonbridge misses out on Olympic Torch route....

I note from press reports yesterday that it's estimated that 95% of the country will see the Olympic torch as it passes through hundreds of towns and villages up and down the land. It's going up and down mountains in the Highlands, it's crossing water in the Lake District, it's travelling on a chair lifts over the Needles on the Isle of Wight, it's abseiling down the Dock Tower in Grimsby, it's coming through Tunbridge Wells, and on to Maidstone, Seal and Sevenoaks. Is it coming through Tonbridge though? Is it heck! By the look of it it's another missed opportunity....

The Tonbridge Insider Lives on....

I've kept it under my hat until now but the future of The Tonbridge Insider was looking pretty bleak for a while but now, so I'm reliably informed, it has found a buyer to take over and continue the publication in it's current format. Hopefully the change-over will be fairly seamless so you'll still see lots of information about local activities, clubs and events every month. It would have been a shame to see it go down the pan as it is Tonbridge's only stand alone publication. The Courier tries to pretend to represent the town but, really, how can it, being based in Tunbridge Wells and with all those other towns and villages in its catchment area? It has to try to please all but probably never quite pleases anyone. Then there's the Kent Messenger which, as far as I can see, hardly anyone in Tonbridge buys. That's a shame since actually, if you go back only a few decades, the Kent Messenger was the Tonbridge Free Press or at least the TFP morphed into the KM. So Tonbridge Blog happens to think that the Tonbridge Insider is an important publication for the town and I wish the new owners success with it (with or without my services.) Part of that future success, and a reason for its near demise, will be dependent on the number and quality of the advertisers it attracts. I thought that, despite the recession, the magazine had turned the corner on that score but maybe it just wasn't happening quite quick enough to make it commercially viable. So, if you have an advertising budget and you want to attract very local customers, The Insider should be an important consideration. Tonbridge Blog might be another possibility since it attracts the same kind of audience online. In fact without even trying this blog has started to carry several commercial links, google ads and the odd advertorial for local businesses due to its having built up a sizeable audience. But for Tonbridge Blog that's just an extra bonus; for the Insider it's their lifeblood. Without the advertisers the magazine just can't exist....

Local matters....

Let readers of Tonbridge Blog know about any local issues, local gossip or maybe just get something off your chest. Just click on the comment box below and say what's on your mind....

Let's have a Community Arts Centre in Tonbridge please....

Went to see that new Woody Allen film Midnight in Paris on Friday night. I'd heard it was Woody back to his best and so it proved. It was excellent at least, not sure it could beat Annie Hall or Manhattan though but that's beside the point. Leading man, Owen Wilson, was so convincing as the successful, yet unfulfilled, neurotic screen writer that he may as well have been Woody Allen himself thirty years ago. Just a shame I had to go all the way to the Stag Theatre in Sevenoaks to see it! To use the correct name that should be The Stag Community Arts Centre. Sounds like a good place to me so why can't Tonbridge have one? I've never been to the Angel Centre Cinema so I can't comment on the screen and sound quality. I'd love to see up to date films there so put some on and people will go. The next showing at the Angel seems to be Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy on November 30th which sounds great but why so infrequently?...