Another woolley council idea!...

Take a look at the picture above. That's right there's nothing much there other than a pavement and a bench, a bin and a couple of street lamps, some bollards and a sign telling us where the parish church is (even though you can see it very clearly from there!) Oh and some bike racks. Crucially though there are no hideously ugly wooden containers with trees in them. Well when I say trees what I really mean is a skinny whips, starved of moisture, wrecked by vandals and surrounded by thick weeds (See top picture.) Another crazy council idea which probably sounded like a good idea in a distant committee meeting. So I won't be missing them one bit. What to put in their place? I know that the idea is being mooted of a larger tree in their place to fill the empty pavement space. What kind of tree? Who knows but they do put a Christmas tree there every year anyway so why not plant a pine or a nice spruce and decorate that every year. Or then again what's wrong with an open area of pavement? It could be used for a bit of busking or maybe street theatre. Why not leave it as a usable space? At the Civic Society talk the other day, during the announcements before the actual talk, this came up and I said, in all seriousness, that we should think about putting a statue there. No, not of me that can keep for another time! No, I was thinking of maybe Tonbridge's cricketing hero, Frank Woolley; what a fitting tribute to the man a large bronze statue would be. Bat in hand about to do one of his trade mark off drives. (Actually I made that bit up but you get the idea!) But, knowing the council they'll probably just dump another ugly tree there and have done with it for a few more years....

Shop closures and moves....

I notice that the green grocers, Bishops of Tonbridge, is closed. I won't say I told you so because that would be gloating and I really don't take any pleasure in shops closing in the town (it's scarily close to home to be honest!) The sign above says that the lease is available "due to relocation." But where are they relocating to? And, on that subject, what is happening with Sweets and Shakes? Have they too taken on too much? Did they make the mistake of assuming that if it works in Tunbridge Wells it's sure to work in Tonbridge? And, on a happier note, Christopher Hull the sports shop has relocated to opposite MacDonalds but only for a little while. They are moving back to their old shop, which is having a facelift, in the spring. Any one care to fill in any of the details or highlight other moves and closures??..

Arts Festival hangover....

What's on in Tonbridge this week? Well, after the excitement of last week, not a lot. It seems that Tonbridge is suffering from an almighty arts festival hangover! Everyone involved breathed a huge sigh of relief when it was all over (I mean all that culture crammed into ten days!) then came that anti climax feeling like you get on the first day back at work after the Christmas holidays. Then a bout of mild depression. I walked over the big bridge yesterday and noticed that the Big Picture and the fish project are still there standing defiantly and refusing to let go of the festival spirit. It's all right you can come down now, you've brightened up our lives enough for one year; you've done your job! I'm starting to feel a bit uplifted though today as I start to form ideas for next year's event. There is a debate already starting about which events went well during the festival, should it have a focal point such as the Castle lawn, should it be in October again or maybe summer, those kind of questions need to be addressed.

Last night's Civic Society talk: Kent Archives....

No don't let the headline put you off; it's much more interesting than you might think! In fact the Tonbridge Civic Society talk at the Angel Centre last night was most interesting. Amazingly around 80 members, plus a few non-members, turned up on a really 'orrible evening to hear what Stuart Bligh of Kent County Council Archives had to say. Now you're probably thinking how the heck can archives be interesting? Well he made them so by an enthusiastic delivery and some good visuals to back it up. There are over 14,000 metres of archive shelving held in Maidstone and most of them have to be moved to a purpose build new centre within the next two years. This is an amazing facility with masses of information dating right back to Saxon times. In fact you don't have to imagine it at all; since you, as a tax payer, are actually paying for it you can go an visit and do some research any time you like. If you are researching a family history this is the place where you can go to get bundles of documents. You can sit there for hours at a time pouring over ancient bits of paper, manuscripts, and books until you find that one missing piece in the jigsaw! The oldest document in the centre dates back to 699 AD and it's not likely to be that interesting until you consider how amazing it is that something has survived that long when the oldest stone building in Tonbridge is about 300 years younger. The archive centre is the sort of place which gets members of the historical society going all giddy with the sheer excitement of it all and it can also be useful to anybody else for a whole host of reasons; I know I'll definitely be paying them a visit before too long. Find out more on the web site which, like most council web sites is a little difficult to navigate. I'm also a bit surprised that there aren't more of these archives available online; unless I'm getting confused for most information you still have to visit in person. That didn't detract though from a really thorough and interesting talk last night....

More on Bucks Fizz in Tonbridge....

Yes and there's even a clip on YouTube of a part of the Buck Fizz gig from the Tonbridge Arts Festival. Someone (not me) has sneakily taken some footage at the group's Sunday night performance at West Kent College. Unfortunately Cheryl Baker and Mike Nolan aren't featured at all in this clip as this was Jay Aston's solo moment. The camera man was obviously fixated with the rather shapely Ms. Aston as quite clearly he doesn't want to zoom out even for two seconds as he captures Jay seductively cavorting on the stage. And who can blame him! (or perhaps even her!!) The clip's definitely worth watching especially for the brilliant guitar solo at the end by Dave Colquhoun who just happens to be married to Jay. Now you didn't expect to see that at a Bucks Fizz concert now did you. Eric Clapton eat your heart out!...

Tonbridge Civic Society talk tonight....

I'm going to try and make it along to the Tonbridge Civic Society talk tonight at the Angel Centre from 7-30pm. The speaker will be Stuart Bligh of Kent County Council's archive department who, apparently have a new £10 purpose built centre which houses over 14 kilometres of historic material. Sounds interesting, hope he's a good speaker as I'm feeling rather jaded from all those nights out at the arts fest events last week. I wouldn't want to nod off!...

A fun night out with Bucks Fizz....

I had mixed feelings about going along to the final event of the Tonbridge Arts festival but thought why not go along with an open mind. Anyway it was a night out! The venue was the brand spanking new West Kent College theatre which is an absolutely superb new, state of the art, venue for Tonbridge. I had had a glimpse of Bucks Fizz at the Hillview School May Ball, albeit without the male singer and they only did their best known Eurovison song, so I knew that they could sing. But hang on! This was Bucks Fizz and I was into Heaven 17, The Jam and Kraftwerk while they were churning out all that Euro trash! How could I possibly be even seen there! Having seen their concert though, and being less bothered about my image than I was in the 80s, I can honestly say that it was a great night out. Entertaining, nothing held back, wonderful shameless kitsch costumes, and great singing. Mike Nolan is now the only male singer in the line up which features Jay Aston, who rejoined the group in 2009 after a 24 year absence. Mike held the whole night together with his little quips and funny asides as well as some very competent singing. He was very good with the audience who pretty much did everything he said; if he said clap we all all clapped, if he told us to get up and dance we did that too. He had a great rapport with his fans. There were plenty of true Buck Fizz fanatics there as well. You might think this somewhat sad but a handful of hardcore fans knew every word of every song and had clearly attended most of their gigs. They were just watching and listening, they were living it!

I should also mention that before The Original Buck Fizz (that's what they call themselves these days) we were treated to The Tonbridge Rock Choir, who performed a whole repertoire of Motown hits, classic pop songs, even a rap. What a warm up act they were. The whole stage was completely full as they gave us twenty minutes of great entertainment. Also during the night we had a performance of several songs by the folksy Kyla Stroud, performing a mix of covers and her own material. She's only 16 or 17 and happens to be Cheryl Baker from BF's daughter, but she's surely a star in the making. Another folky band, The Helen Garrod Trio put in a very professional performance, including some beautiful guitar duets, completed the support acts for the evening with Joni Mitchell-esque covers. But the night very definitely belonged to local lass Cheryl Baker and her fellow band members Jay Aston and Mike Nolan. I won't be downloading all the records or anything but I did have a very entertaining night out. They are a great live group who don't take themselves at all seriously they just seem to be out there having fun. I just wished I'd taken a better camera along with me!...

Heist: the story of the Tonbridge robbery in Vale Road....

One of the highlights of the Tonbridge Arts Festival for me was a talk by Howard Sounes about his book Heist. Now you'll notice that the publishers have rather cleverly turned the e into a £ sign on the book's cover to make it H£IST. You may think that a little corney but I say why not? After all, as Mr. Sounes explained during his hour long talk, this was telling the story of the biggest cash robbery in peace time; not just in Britain but anywhere in the world and, even accounting for inflation, the haul was over twice as big as the Great Train Robbery. Amazing then to think that the heist took place only about a hundred yards from where Howard was talking at the Angel Centre just down Vale Road at the rather innocuous looking building called Medway House. That building was actually one of the most secure buildings in the country and was deliberately unmarked and bland looking so as not to attract attention. That building, which actually I drove past every day and didn't know what it was for, never even gave it a second thought, on a typical day held around £ 200 million pounds in used banknotes. Incredible really when you think about it.

The writer spend three years of his life researching this book, attending every day of the Old Bailey trials, getting to know some of the criminals involved, the lawyers and the witnesses along the way. He's had several death threats and still, with some justification, looks over his shoulder every day when he's walking around on his own. He had me captivated for, not only is it a great local and international story, he also tells it extremely well. Shame that only around thirty people turned up to hear him, less than a bad night for a Civic Society talk in the same room. Was this down to poor publicity or lack of interest? I'm not sure on that one but I'm certainly glad I went. He was signing the book afterwards and Mr. Books has copies for sale also.

Howard told us the story of a classic heist by a gang of unlikely bungling robbers; some of whom where local, who managed against all the odds, despite the sophisticated security arrangements, to pull off the biggest cash robbery in history. The only thing is they didn't seem to pay too much attention to what happened afterwards. One of them even left the badly drawn plan of the inside of the building behind a chair in his house in Southborough. It was found there a whole six weeks after the robbery! and in a nearby lock up in his name he had several million pounds stashed! In the gang there were cage fighters, illegal imigrants, boasting car dealer crooks, drug dealing would-be Mr. Bigs, a real motley crew. Like something out of a Tarantino movie. The alleged leader of the group, Lee Murray, who's now doing a ten stretch in a Moroccan prison for his part in the heist, even wore a stop watch around his neck during the robbery like George Clooney in Oceans 11. These weren't clever men by any means, but they did pull it off. Amazingly, but they did. Let's not forget before we go admiring them all though for beating the system that they pulled it off largely through violence and bullying. They held the manager, his wife and young son hostage and threatened to kill them if they didn't give them what they wanted. They were essentially evil, bullying, nasty, thoughtless men in the extreme. Fantastic story though which should be made into a film. In fact the author has been approached by Hollywood movie moguls who are in the process of putting the story onto the big screen. I hope it makes Howard lots of money because not many writers would have had the patience, the writing skill and, above all, the courage to write this one....

An overdose of Arts....

I don't get out that much these days so to have this overdose of the arts, which I've been experiencing this week, has made me feel completely revitalised. It's been inspirational. Only last night I attended three different events. I did feel a little rude walking in late to Tonbridge based celebrity sculptor Guy Portelli's talk and then having to leave early in order to get to the story telling event at the Rose and Crown but it was necessary if I was to cram as much arts in as I could this week. So Guy, if you're reading this, which you're probably not, then apologies and no offence.

The story telling event with Rob Parkinson and friends was another festival success. Rob combines a wonderful mix of old traditional folk tales with music played on some very quirky looking instruments which he's obviously collected on his travels around the globe. It's a real skill being able to hold an audience's attention for stories which are often ten minutes or more long and, if you don't tune in to what he's saying, then you miss the point of the story. Members of the audience were invited to stand up and tell their own stories and some of them were equally enthralling particularly the one about the three identical dolls which the King had to call in experts to tell apart. (I'll let you work out what happened or perhaps you could make up your own version of the tale!)

But, at the risk of being rude again I made my way out during the interval to get along to Bands at Big School just in time to see Bareface, who I'd wanted to see perform live after having heard them on a few occasions rehearsing near my shop (scroll down for earlier posts.) The contrast between them and the traditional story tellers couldn't have been more marked. Then followed Intra Verse, who were fabulous; and then Origami Dinosaur, who wore Jimmy Hendrix style top hats and played superb music somewhere between the Scissor Sisters and late 1960s folk rock. In fact they were so good and it was already past 11pm when they finished that we thought that they were the headline act but no more was still to come as David Bigden and Dirty Words took to the stage. They were a very slick band of highly competent musicians made up of music tutors mainly from West Kent College I understand. So perhaps it's not surprising that they were technically superb. Speaking personally though I much preferred some of the raw enthusiasm of the other bands than the slickness of the main act. It was great to get out and see so much culture in one evening and there's still more to come as the festival isn't over until Sunday night. I'll feel exhausted by then but it's great to have such an overdose of arts all in one week....

Mor on Courier....

Speaking of cheap journalism I noticed that the Courier photographer was snapping away at the Guy Portelli talk in Cafe Nero on Friday evening. They haven't been at most of the events which, being honest, have been far more spectacular than listening to Mr. Portelli, great sculptor though he undoubtedly is, go on about his experience on Dragon's Den yet again. Even he must be bored of the sound of his own voice on that one it has to be said. So to see them going for the easy TV related story once again actually made me feel a little queasy. Still I guess it's better to have some publicity for the arts festival rather than none....

Where have the Courier photographers got to?...

And still feeling a bit annoyed about the Courier's cheap shot "Scumbridge" tag this week TonbridgeBlog notices that there is only a tiny mention of the Tonbridge arts Festival tucked away on page 14. They're not only out of touch with the town but, it seems, they're also too lazy to send a snapper to provide readers with some interesting and eye catching shots of the very first such festival in Tonbridge. There have been many images of the festival published on this blog (like the one here of resident story teller Rob Parkinson) and taken by myself from just walking around the town and opening my eyes (and my lens.) Come on Courier this really is a lazy effort. Get out of your cosy Longfield Road industrial estate offices and get out into the town; that's Tonbridge, not Tunbridge Wells!....

Scumbridge indeed. What a flippin cheek!...

Not sure what the Courier are playing at in this week's issue by labelling our town "Scumbridge," by saying that is what the residents of Tunbridge Wells call Tonbridge. I've never heard that phrase used before in my 21 years living in the town and I've spoken to lots of people today who also have never heard it. Is this the Courier's final way of saying actually we confess we are really a Tunbridge Wells focussed newspaper and we are completely out of touch with Tonbridge since we abandonned the town over a year ago leaving us without a newspaper office for the first time in over a hundered years. I've said this before but I think that it's called for again: Bring back the Tonbridge Free Press! They used to have an office and printing press right next to the Rose and Crown Hotel in the heart of Tonbridge. They had an ear very firmly planted to the ground in Tonbridge, they were in tune with the local people and businessed. I don't think that that can be said of the Courier any more. Oh what's that you say? We can't bring back the Tonbridge Free Press? Because the Courier own the title!...

Hillview Dance Platform was breath takingly good....

Having been to at least one event every day since the start of the Tonbridge Arts Festival I've started to feel just a little jaded. I'm not used to this much excitement all in one serving. Last weekend was the Book Fair, then on Monday I took a look at the Tunnel Gallery exhibition, the Big Picture on the Castle wall and the fish project over the river. Then there was the Arts Fest Quiz on Tuesday at the Chequers Inn, and on Wednesday I was compere at the fabulous Aoife Mannix performance at Mojo's Bar. How much better could the festival get? Well last night I found out as, for the second year running, I went along to the Dance Platform, organised by Hillview School, held at the E.M. Forster Theatre. For the second year in a row it didn't disappoint. I think I made the statement when commenting on the same event last year that I went along expecting a competent performance but didn't expect to be totally blown away. So this year's had a lot to live up to! I wasn't exaggerating when I made this comment because, for me, this is what art, and the arts festival is all about. It's that moment when you become totally enraptured by the event, when you sort of cloud over and become part of the performance. I know that might sound a little pretentious but it's, nevertheless, true. Last night there were many very very good dance performances and a few brilliant ones. I can honestly say that there were glimpses in some of the performances where you wouldn't see any better on the West End stage. "Aspiration" was the opening act, performed by Hillview Dance Company and, as the girls took to the stage the lights went out. Total darkness. The audience waited in anticipation of the graceful dance to come. Then there was the piercing, screeching sound of the fire alarm which couldn't have been timed any worse. The whole theatre had to be evacuated; as the audience filed out of the numerous doors from the rabbit warren that is the E.M. Forster the girls and boys coming from back stage started to mingle amongst us. We were given a tantalising glimpse of what was to come, some were in black, with eyes like pandas and skeleton paintings on their bodies, looking spooky in the darkness outside. Some had whitened faces, some had street dance baggy jogging bottoms like a scene from Fame. It took a full half an hour before everyone managed to get back to their seats. The cause of the alarm? Apparently one of the boys back stage had sprayed too much body spray in the direction of one of the smoke sensors! Enough said about that!
So the show began and we were treated to a slickly connected array of modern dance, acrobatics, wonderful sensitive movement pieces, ballet, singing, innovative use of props; and that was just the first half. I never like to single out any performances in this type of event but what sticks out in my mind as I reflect back on it are "Boys Will Be Boys" by the Hillview Boys Dance Academy who gave a magnificent acrobatic, mock-street fighting display of high impact dance, superbly choreographed and slickly executed; like a modern day interpretation of West Side Story. Brilliant. I enjoyed "Roxanne," the 1970s song by The Police, which was one of the few to include boys and girls, not surprisingly, really since Hillview is mainly a girls school. Again this was a lovely interpretation of an old favourite song of mine. "True Colours," by Commotion, a long running community Saturday dance project held at Hillview, was beautifully and gracefully enacted. We had many other superb performances like the "Madonna Remix" which began and ended with the girls striking a pose in a specially constructed picture frame, which they used to magnificent effect. We had ghostly movements, we had street dancing, you name it it was all in there. I'm sure that some of the acts had the whole range of human emotions all in one piece. The final piece, "Bombay Dreams," though was worthy of an award of some kind; it was an accomplished performance of a Bollywood style routine and very current what with the success of Slumdog Millionaire. Remember the scene at the end of the film which just breaks into a gratuitous Bollywood mass dance of all the characters for no other reason than it looked great. Well this was every bit as entertaining; we witnessed the whole stage being filled with girls in Indian outfits dancing as one to something that sounded like Shakalacca Baby (but probably wasn't!) By the end of it the whole audience had spontaneously joined in and everyone clapped as the stage filled and the dancers took their thoroughly deserved bows.
I said last year that I expected to see competent performances, after all Hillview is a specialist performing arts school but that I had been unexpectedly blown over; well this year's was an equally breath taking night. Not one person walking out of the theatre could stop themselves beaming from ear to ear and I'll still be smiling at the thought of it for months to come. If you ever get the chance to go along to a Hillview performance, just find an excuse, any excuse, I don't know, your great grandmother once went to an open day there or something, just find an excuse and go. There's no doubt about it that life would be very dull without schools like Hillview around....

Watch out for Tonbridge LOG....

Tonbridge Blog is about to leave the cyber world for a brief sojourn into the print world. Whaddaya mean good riddance?! From the November issue of The Tonbridge Insider Magazine (out soon) there'll be a new page. It'll be punchy, it'll be shooting from the hip, it'll be local news, local gossip, it'll be topical, it'll be every month and it'll be called.... wait for it... Tonbridge Log (not blog but log!) Originally just the working title the editor and I both decided that we'd stick with it since it seemed to sum up what the page was all about. So look out for it dropping on your doormat very soon. Let Tonbridge Blog know what you think about it and, please, no rude comments; my delicate sensibilities might not be able to take it!...

Aoife Mannix poetry performance at Mojo's last night....

As I said after their show last night I arrived at Mojo's feeling more than a bit hassled, rushed and stressed but, after listening to Aoife Mannix's words and Janie Armour's music, I felt mellow and soothed. They were fabulous and the open mic session afterwards also seemed to go well for the handful of enthusiastic local poets who took part. It has to be said though that the turnout was poor, especially because Mojo's bar is a fairly sizeable place. I did feel a little sorry for Aoife and Janie, who'd travelled on the train from London, with all their kit, for the occasion. They didn't show it in the least but it must be disheartening to see so few people turning up, even if they were being paid the same. This could have been down to the £5 entrance fee (even though you got most of that back with the drinks promotion if you had two or three drinks) or it could have been down to lack of publicity or the early start. But really though where were all the students and poetry lovers who used to attend the poetry nights at the Ivy House and where were the Tunbridge Wells and Sevenoaks poetry society people; or don't they class this as real poetry? I liked seeing the contrast of the hussle outside Mojos as blinkered commuters got off their trains and made their way home (not so long ago that was me getting off the train!) That scene contrasted with the calm and soft, soothing sounds inside the bar. I also liked seeing some of the regular drinkers in Mojo's bar just stopping to listen and finding that they too were unexpectedly moved by the perfomance; at least that's how it appeared to me. Their performance was short-lived at only half an hour but, nevertheless, brilliant. As they say on their own web site it was a gorgeous fusion of voice, accordion, piano, percussion and bass. I will be buying their cd and book both entitled Different Words for Snow. The Tonbridge Arts Festival continues until Sunday so, if you haven't been along to any of the events yet look on the web site or go to the library, Angel Centre, Church or even Mr. Books shop for a programme or just meander down to the riverside beneath the castle to see the Big Picture or the fish installations....

???????? Arts Festival Quiz Night ?????????

Congratulations to the Famous Fives who were the winning team in the very first Tonbridge Arts Festival Quiz Night held at Ye Olde Chequers Inn last night. They scored a 74 points total (I think) which gave them an average on each round of about 8.5 out of 10, an incredible achievement which had nothing at all to do with the fact that they were all lecturers from West Kent College and therefore boffins no doubt. Pipped into second place was a team made up mainly of teachers from Tonbridge Girls Grammar School, English dept no doubt, so bad luck them. Commiserations to the M+M's, who were the resident Chequers team. They did very well on the sport round, using their joker to good effect, but, sadly, not so good on the books questions and, since it was mainly a literary based quiz, scored an average per round of about 2 points. But even they didn't go away empty handed, oh no they did not. In a mad moment I found myself (as Question Mark ? the quiz master for the evening) offering them a consolation prize of £17 worth of Mr. Books vouchers: one for every correct answer you see. It was a great night and that Directors Ale at the Chequers didn't half go down well; they serve a good pint down there so they do....

The Big Picture....

I love the way the people passing by in this photo are suddenly in awe of the Big Picture which is the whole height of Tonbridge Castle wall. Rather like Dancing in the Street down the High Street on Saturday afternoon, this encapsulates the spirit of the festival. People who may not usually be aware of art are transfixed by it even if just for a fleeting moment. In that moment it's grabbed hold of them and told them to stop and take notice; they've become part of the festival themselves. I know that sounds a bit arty farty but, nevertheless, I think it's true....

What did the Normans think of Tonbridge....

Terra Epi Rovecestre
De ifto m est in Tonebrige tantu de filua 7 de tra. qd Isdem eps ten Estantes T.R.E. defd p v1. folins 7 m p iiii. folins....

Which is old Norman french and loosely translates as:
(under the heading) Land of The Bishop of Rochester

In Tonbridge there is as much woodland and land from this manor as is assessed at 20 shillings.

So there you have it our only mention in the Domesday book of 1086; that shows us what the Normans thought of Tonbridge: basically a pounds worth of timber which, admittedly, in those days was not insignificant. Better than no mention at all I guess!....

Pictures from the Tonbridge Arts Festival so far....

Well they say a picture is worth a thousand words so I'll just save my words for another time. If anyone has any good pics from other events in the festival you can always send them over and we can share them with the rest of the town....

Tales from around the world....

Went along to see Rob Parkinson at West Kent College last night as part of the Tonbridge arts fest. Rob is the resident storyteller for the whole of the festival week and came along to the Book Fair on Sunday to do a session there but, unfortunately, I was unable to see him as I was too busy organising the event and running around after visitors and irate booksellers! Anyway, last night was World Tales; Rob showed off his many skills which, obviously, included story telling but also the ability to play a huge variety of weird and wonderful looking stringed instruments and drums from around the world. I marvelled recently when watching Seasick Steve on Jools Holland playing a guitar with only three strings; well Rob plays one with only two! He often combines playing and telling at the same time to reinforce the story. The venue wasn't perfect being in the too brightly lit and busy thoroughfare lounge area of the brand new theatre and media centre at West Kent College, but Rob made the most of it. Story telling is definitely something I could never do very well; I know my limitations. It takes alot of bottle, alot of charisma, musical ability and, not least, a great memory to stand there and tell tales with no notes and keep people engaged for over an hour. Rob taught us how similar stories have travelled and evolved in different parts of the world going off in there own unique ways to suit the various cultures. The art of story telling is, after all, older than the written word itself having been around for thousands of years before paper and books came on the scene. People from the audience were invited to stand up and tell their own stories; I squirmed in my seat at this point but actually, thankfully there were some brave people who stood up and told us stories about Nicky the Fish of Sicily and others from India and Canada and they also were entertaining. If you're now feeling like you've missed out then don't despair. You can still see Rob and have a few drinks while you're being entertained at the Rose and Crown on Friday evening. I think you can pay on the door but don't blame me if you can't, check the arts fest web site to make sure....

Quiz night tonight at Ye Olde Chequers Inn....

Don't forget the Arts Festival Quiz Night tonight at the Chequers pub. It really isn't at all high brow and I should know as I'm the Quiz Master for the evening. Looking forward to it and having a nice drop or two of beer. What do they serve there I can't remember? Come on what else would you be doing on a wet Tuesday evening....

Dancing in the (Tonbridge) Streets....

I wish I'd been on Tonbridge High Street shopping when the Flash Mob suddenly started dancing in a fame style piece of street theatre. I couldn't make it along but, thankfully with the aid of modern technology (ie YouTube,) TonbridgeBlog can bring it to you all. I'm not sure who filmed it but it sure is a wonderful clip capturing the very essence of what the Tonbridge Arts Festival is all about. I hope it gave many Tonbridge shoppers a bit of a smiley moment and made them think for a while about things other than the mundane experience of shopping. See for yourselves....

What's on this weekend....

Oh nothin much! Only the Tonbridge Arts Festival events, loads of art down by the river, arty stuff going on at the parish church, singing and close up magic at ASK, the West Kent Book Fair at Tonbridge School all day Sunday, the Jane Austen Walk in fancy dress around the town and look out for a fame style dance if you're out shopping in Tonbridge on Saturday afternoon (that's all I can tell you on that one!) Apart from that not alot's happening....

Angry fish....

There's something fishy going on down by the river today! There's a very angry looking black sharky looking thing suspended over the water and it looks like there could be several others up very soon. I'm told by the ladies who call themselves the Platonic Artists, who are responsible for the installations, that it's not so much angry as teenagery. When you look at it closer they have a point. There's a bright red handbag for lips and several sets of head phones about it's body and it has the curious look of a Transformer about it. I'm pretty sure that students of West Kent College had a hand it it. Or was it a fin! Get along there over the weekend and see it for yourselves....

Men at work....

I've just had a little wander down by the river, under Tonbridge Castle, and came across the giant art installation up against the crumbling old wall. It looks pretty high up there so rather these men than me! I was invited to paint one of the first squares which I duly did and that tiny square is now up there, a tiny part of the massive jig saw which will become clear by tomorrow night. Apparently it's a famous painting; local schools have all been involved in painting it which, when you stop to think about it, is an ingenious way of getting the whole town to participate. When a little smudge of acrylic paint got daubed onto my fingers that was it I knew that the festival had begun and it was symbolised by a speack of paint. And I got a nice warm feeling inside; it felt good to be a part of it all. If you don't already know then the arts fest will be all around you for the next ten days. Dancing, singing, music, art, poetry, lit quizzes, sculpture, books, storytellers, you name it it'll all be there. Take part in it and maybe you'll get that same warm glow inside which I felt....

Prize winning books....

I can't believe that the Booker Prize winner has been announced already. Howard Jacobson's The Finkler something or other as if you didn't know! He's a writer who slagged off the prize a few years ago as being "an absolute abomination- the same dreary books year after year...." I wonder what he thinks now! I've made it a goal of mine to read all the Bookers and have so far only waded through about a quarter of them and, rather anoyingly, still haven't got around to reading Wolf Hall, which was last year's winner. So I've got some catching up to do. It's great being a book seller most of the time but it can be a tad frustrating at times being surrounded by lovely books but with so little time to read them. Perhaps if I stopped blogging on Tonbridge Blog and twitter I'd have more time. Waddaya fink?...

Arts Fest Quiz Night....

Just this second finished a meeting with Stef and Sharon from West Kent College putting the finishing touches to the Arts Festival Quiz Night questions. I will be quiz master (in fact Question Mark geddit?) for the evening so I think that I've got the easy bit. They spent ages compiling the questions, then have to run around getting the answer sheets in and adding up the scores. All I have to do is sit down, drink beer and read out the questions in my usual flippant manner. If you fancy it then turn up at the Chequers on Tuesday 19th for a 7-30 start. Pay on the door only £1. If you've got any clever mates nows the time to start recruiting them....

A Blatant plug for the Book Fair this Sunday....

Well the West Kent Book Fair is once again almost upon us. It will take place in Old Big School hall this Sunday the 17th from 10am to 4pm. Old Big School hall is the hall right next to the school's main reception lobby, not to be confused with Big School, which is the larger hall, along a little next to the arch way. As well as the usual many thousands of book bargains on offer there'll be a mix of literary events such as from 12-15 to 1pm traditional family stories with Rob Parkinson, who is the resident story teller for the Tonbridge Arts Festival. Then at 2-30pm there's Poetry at the Fair which is a chance for budding local poets to bring along a favourite poem or, better still, their own material to perform at the fair. If people want to come along just to listen then that's fine too although I always think that these people are actually just frustrated and a little timid and would really like to take part. Ages usually range from 18 to 88 and styles range from Sroobius Pip In addition there'll be a book binding demo and published authors on hand to sign their books and offer advice on how to get published. The fair was resurected from the old Tonbridge Book Fair which had been dormant for about 20 years and was originally held in the Hilden Manor function room until that burnt down about five years ago (nothing to do with me!) and the venue was switched to Tonbridge School where it's been ever since. To be honest it would be hard to think of a better book fair venue and, believe you me, I've been to some pretty grotty ones! This one is near perfect with superb natural lighting, the right atmosphere set by the lovely oak pannelled hall and ample on-site parking. The organisers, whoever they are, hope that you'll be able to find a spare hour or two on Sunday to make it along. This will no doubt get you in the mood for the rest of the Arts Festival taking place until the following Sunday. There was that a blatant enough plug for you!...

Mr. Books shop is a Sebo!...

As a PS to that last post about my new Brazilian/Italian, restaurant manager of ASK in Tonbridge, chum he paid me a great complement by saying that Mr. Books is a Sebo. No he didn't mean that it looked like a German vacuum cleaner (although Lord knows it could do with a good going over with one!) No, apparently the word is Portuguese, mainly used in Brazil, and means a lovely place to find antique things and especially books. I suppose the nearest thing we might say in English is that it's a fabulous Aladdin's Cave, a treasure trove. Now you can't complain about that description can you!...

Tonbridge Arts Festival Pizza!...

Just had a really good chat with Eric, the new manager of ASK restaurant who seems like an enthusiastic kind of guy. If his food is as good as his charm then it's probably worth going along there. He wanted to know if his restaurant could get involved in the Tonbridge Arts Festival in any way to which I replied that it would probably be a little late to get on the main programme. I suggested to my new mate that he could maybe do something a bit fringey to get involved in the festival which, if you don't know, runs from next Friday to the following Sunday all over the town. Being as Eric is half Italian (the other half Brazilian) together we came up with the idea of ASK putting on a bit of Opera to join in the fun and maybe they could make a special Arts Festival Pizza to show that they supported the event. (Yes okay and to draw in a few extra people to the restaurant. OMG he should be paying me for this advice!) So look out for a spot of Dessun Dorma being belted out across Tonbridge. Now what to put on that Tonbridge Pizza? Any sensible suggestions please?...

Discipline is the thing!...

Watching Mad Men last night as I always try to do (BBC4 Wednesdays 10pm right after The Apprentice) I, like probably most other viewers, was completely shocked when Betty, Don's ex-wife, slapped their daughter hard across the head because she'd cut off her lovely blonde curly locks in a repressed show of anger at her parents. Today we might be a bit more forgiving and understanding but back in the mid sixties I guess it wasn't that uncommon to get a clip round the ear. I certainly did, not that often, but I did and I still remember how it made me feel. (What do you mean not often enough!) I bet more than a few teachers at Bank Street School and the Slade had their old favourite slipper or cane perched in the corner of the classroom as a warning to the kids not to misbehave. Most kids who went to school in the 1960s and 70s would have received more than one rap across the knuckles with a ruler. Did it do us any good? Should we have not felt guilty like Bets on Mad Men knowing that that was the best way to discipline our children, to teach them some respect? Would talking to us and letting us share concerns have helped us more? The way things are going with the new government things could well be going back to much tougher discipline in our schools, I'm sure I heard someone on a news programme talking about short sharp shocks for young offenders the other day. Personally I wouldn't like to see us going backwards on smacking children but watching the programme last night did make me realise just how far we've come since those days which, after all, aren't that long ago....

Anyone seen 13,000 Tonbridge Arts Festival Programmes?!..

Okay who's 'alf inched em? I think I'll hang onto the few copies I've got as they now seem to have become a scarce commodity! They could be worth a lot of money one day! But seriously has anyone seen them? 13,000 are meant to have been distributed by some company in Devon and yet no one seems to have seen any. Now it would be quite easy to lose a couple or even a box or two; but really how is it possible to lose 13,000 of the things? It beggars belief. Maybe they'll turn up in Budleigh Salterton or somewhere. Always go local wherever possible would be my simple message for the future and in the meantime everyone will just have to jolly well have a look at the official website which does have an online version of the programme. Some people have left comments on this blog to the effect that they don't think the Art Fest site is a top notch design (and that's putting it very nicely) but it does at least contain the information. So, if you are interested in the arts, be it visual, performing or literary then have a look because if you're waiting to see a printed version you may end up disappointed. Chairman of the organising committee, Andy Brett, was displeased to say the least and may have been heard using the word flip and damn on more than one occasion! And who can blame him? But Tonbridge we are bigger than this we won't let this get us down or put us off going to what promises to be a great festival. Remember the most important thing is that many of the events are not only going to be entertaining and educational but they're also FREEEEEEE!!..