Safe as houses....

I had a bit of a shock last Thursday when I arrived at my shop in the morning there was a circular scratch which, on closer inspection, had been done with a sharp knife or more likely a glass cutter, right next to the yale lock. This obviously had the effect of making me feel insecure and wondering if I'm due a break in; apart from anything else it looks a bit unsightly and I may have to replace the glass in the door for cosmetic reasons. It is toughened, wire reinforced glass so, whilst not inpenetrable, the thieves would have had a job on trying to get through. In fact it would probably have been alot easier to kick the door in or use a jammy knife (not that I want to give potential burglars any clues! I didn't think much more of it for the next hour or two until, low and behold, I got a telesales cold call from a residential security company calling themselves Landmark Security (I'm pretty sure that's what they said) saying that my address had been selected as a show home for their services and would I consider a representative coming around to explain the deal. You know the sort of thing. I explained that I'm a business address and the lady said something like she was so sorry to have troubled me. Now am I jumping to huge conclusions here, is it just my imagination running away with me (like in the Rolling Stones song) or this this more than a coincidence? Are there security firms out there so desparate and unscrupulous that they'll send someone round to given addresses in advance of the sale call to, let's just say give them a little bit of an emotional advantage. The more I think about it, since I've never before in the five years I've been here and, come to think of it, in the twenty five that I've been a home owner either, had such a cold call before this raises too many questions for it to be mere coincidence. Anyone else had such an experience?...

Tonbridge Has Talent....

Had a fantastic night last night being a judge at Tonbridge Has Talent. Held in Tonbridge School's Big School hall the event included performances from most of the senior schools in Tonbridge and a few from Tunbidge Wells. And did Tonbridge have talent? I'll let you judge for yourselves, that is if this link works properly! If you didn't agree with the judges decisions then you try it sometime. Do you upgrade them for technical ability? Do you go hard on them if they're nervous? Do they have star quality? What is star quality anyway! Did they performe it or just sing it? Can you persuade the other judges to see it your way if they disagree with your choices? All this has to be taken into account in the world of Simon Cowell, er sorry TonbridgeBlog....

More Tonbridge businesses to go west?...

It's tough being in business at the moment; particularly if you're a start up or new in retail. Even more so if you happen to have a shop in or around Tonbridge High Street; even more so if you happen to be North of the big town bridge. No I'm not feeling sorry for myself as you were all thinking, I don't want you to get the violins out for me; although, come to think of it, business could be brisker. No I'm thinking more about those businesses that have set up in the last year or two, who have probably made their plans before the recession hit, who've invested in leases, shop fittings and equipment. The Ivy House is probably one of those; I hear that they are struggling to keep their upmarket positioning and have wisely reverted to having some of the pub as, well, a pub instead of a gastro, bistro restauranty place, not sure whether it's a pub or what. I'm sure that some of the independent restaurants and a few of the hairdressers at this end of town must also be feeling the pinch. I hear that the new key cutter/shoe repairers below the Medway School of Dance is also struggling to cover its costs. Maybe it's the credit crunch, maybe there just isn't enough trade at this end of town for that type of business, maybe the guy running it just needs to be patient and build up his trade by steadily but surely giving a good service. So, if you need heels repaired, a new front door key, even a trophy engraving and you want to save yourself the bother of going down the south end of town then give the man a break before another shop in the north of the High Street goes west....

Mor on Politics....

And here's what our dear friend Mr. Clegg of the Lib Dems has got to say in his latest bit of e-mithering (good phrase that!)
"One of our four key pledges at this year's General Election will be our call for fairness and reform in the political system. This has been a rallying cry of our party for generations, and we have proud record on it. After the recent scandals it is needed now more than ever.
The excellent Power 2010 campaign group have been working hard to push these issues up the political agenda. I know many Liberal Democrats have been involved in their work and support their campaigning – as do I. That is why I am asking you to vote in their current poll to decide what their top five campaigning pledges should be for this election.
Needless to say I’m delighted to see that fair votes is currently topping the poll, along with a number of our other policies and I’ve already voted for them. I’ve also voted to give constituents the chance to kick out corrupt MPs, because after the recent expenses scandal I believe making MPs accountable should be a top priority in our reform of the political system.
Political reform is a hugely important issue for our country and our party; so I hope you will find a moment to take part in this campaign.
Best wishes,
Nick Clegg MP
Leader of the Liberal Democrats"

Don't all rush at once!...

Any old rags for Latvian childen: Charity clothing collections in Tonbridge....

I don't wish to sound uncharitable, and I'm aware that this is a bit of a sensitive topic but I've always wondered about some of those, so called, charities who drop plastic bags through your letter box. One came through my door this morning asking for clothing collections for Latvia. I'm sure it's a worthy cause, and they do look legitimate enough with a web site, professional looking packaging and, crucially, a registered UK charity number. The only thing that caught my eye and made me wonder was the line in the text on the clothing bag which mentioned that Retexa, who presumably are the distribution company who work for Children Our Future, will donate "...at least 60 pounds from every tonne collected... to Children Our Future." It's a funny way of putting it and possibly could be put down to the language barrier if they are Latvians. I'm not worried that they mixed their imperial weights with their metrics so much as the meagre amount. By my calculations of 2.2 pounds to a kilogramme that's 27.3 kg out of 1,000 kg or only 2.7% guaranteed to be donated. What happens to the other 972.7 kg of every tonne collected? Is that the distribution company's to sell? If so how and where do they sell it? Do they pick out all the designer label gear before they send the rest off to Latvia? I'm singling this charity out as an example, although I'm quite sure there are others in the same boat. Maybe this is normal, maybe all the charities operate on a 2.7% ratio and maybe 2.7 kg in every 1,000 is better than nothing but it did strike me as very low....

Great Entertainment in Tonbridge....

I'm having a bit of an arty week this week. What with being a judge on Friday night's Tonbridge Has Talent (Tonbridge School, Big School, 7-30pm) I'll be doing my best Simon Cowell impression, giving my honest, positive, and hopefully witty criticism of the acts. There's prize money and school reputations at stake and so the whole thing is taken fairly seriously by the entrants. If last year's event is anything to go by the audience is in for a right old treat. Mind you they'll have to go some to beat the night's entertainment, not as a judge this time, I had on Monday evening at Hillview School for Girls' Stars In Their Eyes Celebration of Talent held at the Angel Centre. There was Cheryl Cole, S Club, Rhiana, Myria Carey to name just a few. There were solo singers, duets, quartet, rock groups, dancers, you name it. They were all superb, and I'm not just saying this because my daughter goes to the school, if you ever get the chance to go to their perfomance evening you really should make the effort. The vast majority of the girls are genuinely enthusiastic about performing arts and quite a few of them West End Standard, I kid you not. There's are always one or two outstanding perfomances and, if I was forced to single them out, apart from my daughter's dance routine of course, I'd say that the Witney Houston "I Will Always Love You ou a ou a hooo" was technically the best and the Nina Simone A New Dawn, A New Day and I'm Feeeeling Goooooooooooooooooood! just brought the house down. And incidentally the two comperes, sorry I'm rubbish with names but I know they were the dance and drama teachers at the school, held the whole night together with their larking about which is actually quite tricky to do without straying into stretching and straining the jokes. They always knew how far they could push it with the audience and when to introduce the next act. In fact I'd much rather see them than Horne And Corden presenting the Brit Awards this year. And as if that weren't enough, on TV last night I was treated to a double bill of the new series of Shameless, which I never even knew they'd made, and then there's all new Mad Men this evening. How much better can it get! I wish every week could be as packed full of quality entertainment as this week....

Around Tonbridge in the wintery sunshine....

The sun was shining on my walk through Tonbridge into Mr. Books this morning so I thought I'd take a few snaps to share with you all. I have these mad artistic moments sometimes....

Not a golliwog in sight at Allsorts....

Roll up roll up for the great Bartram bag sale. I actually went in to Allsorts for the first time ever on the day when the shop is about to close. Mr. B was there giving advice on handbags and purses. The vultures were circling as prices had been slashed for the last day from reasonable to absolutely unbelieveable; men and women of all ages jossled with each other lest they missed out on one of the bargain bags or ornamental ceramic bells. There were some trolley suitcases which caught my eye reduced from £65 down to £15; then I had to remind myself that I was only in there for TonbridgeBlog reasearch purposes! I just about managed to resist those leather wallets at £5.99, come to think of it I don't even think that was the final reduction price! I realised in that short space of time why Mr. Bartram has stayed in business all these years, he ain't no fool. He gives the people what they want; it may not be to everyone's tastes but he was certainly doing a roaring trade. And not a golliwog doll in sight!

Another PS on the Apple i-pad launch....

The vast majority of tecno critics have, pardon the pun, slated the Apple i-pad but Stephen Fry (Dear Old Twitterer Stephen) was in gadget heaven at yesterday's launch in San Fran. Read his assessment on the Guardian web site here. It's refreshing and nice to see someone so positive and enthusiastic about a piece of machinery as Mr. Fry clearly is. Is he right though? Only time will give us the answer to that. There's also a link through to the actual launch video of Steve Job's presentation. I've only seen a bit of it but he really is quite some salesman as he stands there in his jeans, casual shirt and track shoes. Who cares about appearance when you can quite acurately say that you've changed the face of the computer market, music industry, mobile phones technology and now, just maybe the book industry....

Gulp! It's another e-book reader. The Apple i-pad....

Is this it for books then? First the Sony e-book reader, then Amazon's Kindle now, the much anticipated, Apple i-pad arrives on the scene; so TonbridgeBlog asks: are books doomed? I sound like Frazer, the Scottish undertaker, from Dad's Army! It's a question which all booksellers must be asking themselves right now. I keep saying to myself that it'll be a slow process and that books, in their paper form, have been around forever and reading them on a plastic screen will never catch on. Then I consider that books have only actually been around even loosely in their present form since Gutenberg first printed his bibles in the mid 15th Century and only properly since the late nineteenth century because, before that, they were hand produced and bound and therefore too expensive for most people. So it is probably inevitable that they'll be replaced before too long, the only big question is how quick will it be. If it's to be as quick as in the case of the music industry, which has seen a revolution since the i-pod stormed onto the market only a few years ago, we really are doomed Capt Manwaring! But let's step back a little and consider the differences in the two markets. Music is very much a dip in and out of kind of experience; we listen to the odd favourite track here and another from this album and that one; we create playlists of musical genres. The average track only takes three or four minutes to listen to and it's a relaxing, interactive experience, we could lay back, close our eyes and the music could be coming from a cd player. Contrast that with trying to read and store books on a device: the quality of the screen becomes vital, you certainly need to be able to see it in various types of light, you can't hold them very comfortably, you don't feel like you're reading a book, you can't easily flip back pages to review the bit of the plot you've obviously just missed. In short, at the moment, they are, pardon the pun, a bit of a novelty. They're, at least for now, nothing more than a glorified small laptop for gadget nerds. Don't get me wrong I can see the attraction of i-pod touches and therefore the i-pad, which seems to be essentially a bigger version of it, I can see that children and adults love to play games and use apps for many different things; I just can't see that reading novels is one of them. Now school text books, thus getting rid of the need for back breaking school bags, is another advantage entirely, that I can see catching on very quickly. Time will tell, but I'm putting my money on there needing to be something more more advanced, cheaper and more reading-experience-friendly before they'll catch on for the vast majoity of book readers....

PS. click on the link below to see what, national treasure, Stephen Fry thinks about the new i-pad. He reckons it's a "game changer!"

Staff Training Post Office style....

Thought I'd call in at Tonbridge main Post Office this morning as I was walking by at around 9-15. When I got outside the doors at the back of Angel Walk I was amazed to see a huge queue snaking around almost onto the Sainsbury's carpark. Surely I was halucinating as the ever reliable PO is always open at 9am on the dot! No, no mistake, as apparently they now close for "Staff Training" between 9am and 9-30 on a Tuesday morning. I'd love to be a fly on the wall at their training meetings as they try to get the staff to sell unsuspecting old couples holiday insurance. Here's the scenario just after the refreshing sales training session:

PO Assistant: Hello and what would you like today?

Old Lady: I just want a couple of first class stamps love.

PO. Assistant: Are you going on holiday this year?

Old Lady: My son's family are taking me to France in June, I'm looking forward to it.

PO. Asst. Have you thought about travel insurance at all?

Old Lady: Ooh no I haven't love, Dereck (her son) always sorts that out for me.

PO. Asst: What about mobile phones?

Old Lady: I can't be bothered with them at my age love. My grand daughter tried to show me how to use them computers but she might as well have been talking Greek!

PO. Asst: (remembering about her trip to France) Come and see us about your Euros before you go.

Old Lady: Me what love?

PO. Asst: (Speaking up) Euros! For your holiday.

Old Lady: I'm not deaf you know love. Like I said Dereck's already sorted out the Franks and everything for the trip but thanks all the same. (Walks away.)

Old Lady: (Comes back in slight panic) Did I pick up me stamps?

PO. Assist: Oh sorry love I forgot, that'll be 82p please....

Goodbye Mr. B....

Shame to see on the High Street more shops due to close down; John "I love me Golliwogs" Bartram's bag shop Allsorts, which I must confess I've never been tempted to go into in the twenty years I've lived in Tonbridge, is to close next week after 742 years trading. What a shame; although, so I understand, this time the recession (now over so they say) has nothing at all to do with it. Aparently Mr. B is shutting up shop on the flimsiest of excuses: he wants to retire, so good luck to him. Remember though John you can always open a stall on the Saturday market, there's sure to be a big demand for those Golly Dolls you must still have in stock!...

Politics, TV interviews and Talent Shows....

Well Politics turned out to be a popular subject in Tonbridge. Maybe we'll give it another go soon as election fever hots up in the coming weeks and months. I'll be tuning in to my usual weekly diet of Question Time, followed by This Week on a Thursday and my favourite radio slot of the week, Prime Minister's Question time or PMQs as it's more commonly referred to to those in the know (not me then!) Any way in the meantime I've had a "television" interview over at Tonbridge School's impressive new sports and media centre. As a forerunner to the forthcoming Tonbridge Has Talent, to be held at the school, what with me being a judge and all, they had me doing Simon Cowell-like poses to camera and Strictly Come Dancing sideways on turns with smile. I'm dreading the results but I'm sure they'll make me reasonbly presentable with their state of the art editing suite. That's quite some facility the school has got there and it's available to anyone to join for use of the amazing swimming pool, gym, hall and tennis courts so long as you've got a spare 500 squid knocking around. I know I have (n't.)...

A little bit of Politics anyone?...

TonbridgeBlog has been up for nearly four years now and never once has it even approached the subject of, I can hardly even say the word, POLITICS. It's been quite deliberate as it's the one subject bound to cause divisions, bad feeling and big arguments. But as there's been a Labour Government now 13 years, as we've seen spin and counter spin, back stabbing and underhand collusion and damned right lies; as there's to be a general election within the next 21 weeks and as it looks like a racing certainty that the Conservatives will get back in power, TonbridgeBlog asks: Is it time to get political???! Anyone care to go first? To pin you colours to the mast? Are you Toff Tories? Loose-moralled Liberals? Less -Lefty Labourites? or perhaps you're something less conventional? Come on let's get the great Tonbridge political debate rolling....

Let's go round again....

All change at the Courier again as Owen Griffiths is replaced and Miriam Taylor has also moved on. I was paid a visit by new Tonbridge reporter, Lucy Clapham, who tells me that she has been working at some newspaper group in High Wycomb and hails from East Sussex, although she has never actually been to Tonbridge before. That's encouraging isn't it! She seemed very nice and I'm sure she'll do the best job she can being stationed in their Longfield Road (North Farm) offices and visiting Tonbridge to cover the odd story and I'm a little flattered that I was one of the first people she visited trying to build up her contacts. But how can the people of our town be best served by this constant musical chairs of their reporters. It was bad enough when they were based in Tonbridge High Street but now they're not surely we need some continuity and at least someone who's already familiar with the town. Perhaps I'm being unfair and we should give Lucy a fair chance, although she'll probably also be off anyway within a year or so, just when she's got to know the town and a few of it's people. If you have any juicy stories to tell her then this is her telephone number at the Courier: 01892 (note that's a Tunbridge Wells code) 686965....

Watching for the first signs of Spring....

They say it's grim up North. Well I have to say that Tonbridge today can only be described as grim, damp, grey and miserable. That said has anyone seen any signs of Spring yet amongst the gloom? Now that most of the snow has disappeared from our gardens are their any snow drops appearing, or crocuses or dafodils? Okay a bit early for dafs. Flowers of any kind will do? Send in your observations and we could start a TonbridgeBlog version of Spring Watch!...

Don't Tonbridge 6th Formers need Freedom too?...

Empowering young people, improving safety, financially assisting families, promoting healthier lifestyles and encouraging use of sustainable transport are some of the very worthy reasons that the Kent Freedom Pass was introduced by Kent County Council a few years ago. The pass is "free" although there is, somewhat paradoxically, a £50 "administration" fee once a year to obtain one. Not too bad when you consider that the average cost per year to get to school from Tonbridge to Tunbridge Wells is around £750, so £50 is a big saving. Where's the problem then you might be thinking. Well apparently all these reasons for having the Freedom Pass don't apply to six formers and college students. Now ask yourself who's more likely to get the biggest benefit from the pass? Who is more likely to drive in to school and clog up the streets around their school? Who's more likely to risk their lives on a motor scooter rather than fork out for expensive fares. The really scandalous thing is that all school children, no matter how old, are charged full fare, on Arriva buses (and probably others) during the morning peak; so their daily fare would be over three pounds. Yes there are weekly and monthly tickets available but with hardly any savings. Now imagine if you'd bought a weekly pass this week during the icy conditions, with schools being closed and buses being badly delayed. You probably wouldn't be best pleased. So come on KCC spend our money on something which would be of real benefit to young people and parents, as well as freeing the roads and residential streets of yet more unnecesary cars and extend the freedom pass to all students. Maybe by increasing the admin fee to £100 if needs be; that would still be a huge saving for all and would allow it to apply to the students it would truely benefit....

It is no joke!...

Ok that's it the joke is over. (I could have said Snow joke again but that's a tired one!) We've had enough. Over a week of snow and we still have disruptions everywhere. Disruptions to most Tonbridge and Tunbridge Wells schools, disruptions on the roads, car parks mostly still like ice rinks, pavements mostly still not gritted. I am pleased to say though that the men from Kent Highways have (at long last) done a great job of clearly the High Street and gritting it very thoroughly; I would say too thoroughly but that would start to sound like I was being picky! But just walking from the Castle car parks this morning you could see that they could do a lot more good by just using their noddles a bit. For instance if they can't clear all the paths then why not concentrate efforts on the hilly bits and slopes where people are, rather obviously, more likely to slip over. I did notice yesterday while driving for the first time since last Tuesday that the pavements on Deakin Leas, which is one of the steepest hills in Tonbridge, had a small army of men out gritting the pavements. Was it because they are using their logic and prioritising the hills or was it that the road has a school on it and they have been told to make it safe for school children? Whatever the reason, it was good to see, albeit several days too late. Might it be a good idea to invest in a pavement gritter, which could probably do all the main pavements of the town at lightning speed? Is there a problem in whose responsibility it is to buy the equipment? Is it Tonbridge and Malling Council's or is it Kent County Councils? I would guess the latter which could be part of the problem. If KCC can afford to squander money on dodgy Icelandic investments then surely they can invest in a few mini gritters to stop old folks from slipping over and potential breaking limbs. That way we can all enjoy the snow in future years without being housebound....

My Kent life....

A nice chappie from Kent Life magazine has just interviewed me for an article in their March issue. He asked me loads of questions about the town, my book shop, TonbridgeBlog and my family; some of them were actually quite searching. They're even sending one of their snappers round to take pics of me outside Mr. Books. I hope I didn't say anything too controversial, surely not! Not sure when the mag is published but I don't think it's a freebie so you may have to buy a copy. I'm sure it'll make a rivotting read!...

More on schools closures....

Maybe schools of Tonbridge and Tunbridge Wells area should announce their closures on Twitter by having an official feed from their own web sites. This might avoid the crashing of their own sites under the sudden strain of sudden over-use. A useful additional source of information which is immediate, widely available and trusted I would have thought. Remember where you heard it first!...

Make a decision for tomorrow today....

This from Judd School web site today which highlights the problems which Tonbridge and Tunbridge Wells students and their parents have been facing this week. The answer, as TonbridgeBlog said in a post yesterday, is to call it the night before based on weather forecasts and the best information possible at the time. No one can blame a Head Teacher for that, but they can blame them for confusion and lack of information. Whether or not global warming, somewhat paradoxically, is to blame for the big freezes we've been experiencing this year and last, is a separate issue for the scientists to debate, but this is one problem which can be put right. Frankly, having read the message from Judd which is copied below, I'm still confused:

"School Closed Thursday 7 Jan 2010

We are closed today, owing to the site being very icy, students should not attend.

Sincere Apologies
As you may well have gathered we had considerable difficulties with our website and also with Radio Kent this morning and we were not able to communicate the closure effectively to parents and students. To all those students, staff and parents who were unnecessarily inconvenienced by this I can only offer sincere apologies. The decision was taken at 7am this morning, but the traffic to our website was so heavy that we could not access it for editing until after 8am. The telephone number we have to use for Radio Kent was engaged for 50 minutes and they did not update until after 8am. Clearly this is not satisfactory.

Advance Notice for Friday 8 January 2010

We have to maintain a position of the school being open unless otherwise informed; however I would ask that students do not set out to school on Friday morning unless the school is confirmed as being open. We cannot close the school without an inspection on the ground, which generally needs to be made on the day, not the day before. We will endeavour to make the decision even earlier tomorrow (if not today) and communicate it through our website, BBC Radio Kent and also kmfm. Thank you for your patience."

New Post Office Opening Hours: er when we feel like it....

They did it to me again again. Most of the shops down Tonbridge High Street managed to stay open till after 5pm but not our dear old Post Office in Angel Walk. Don't worry though, it's only the main branch in the town and one which small businesses, like mine, rely on to be open. I managed to keep my little enterprise open longer than the 4pm which the sign on the PO window said they'd closed at so why can't they? Come off it if you are going to close all the sub PO's down then you have a civic duty to keep the main one open till proper closing time. I should have phoned first to check whether they were open, I hear you all muttering to yourselves. Tried that and got a ridiculously long recorded message asking me to press buttons and asking me did I want to talk about travel insurance products etc so I thought I'd chance it. All this meant that I had to struggle home in the blizzard up Quarry Hill with a great big bag full of parcels (get the violins out) and then back down the hill with them again this morning. Sort it out will you it really is pathetic. Royal Mail? I'm not sure that our Queen would want to be associated with an organsation which shows such lack of commitment....

Are standards slipping at John Adams?...

Oh Dear, it seems that John Adams, or should I say My Back Pages, has had the dreaded Trading Standards officers round beating on their door. That is if TonbridgeBlog is to believe a recent comment from Alisteir Crowley (which by the way is a sinister name borrowed from an old writer who specialised in weirdly dark, supernatural tales) on this blog (scroll down to recent posting) I can only imagine that it must be true otherwise how would the commenter have any information about this matter. From my own point of view they don't effect my trade very much at all, at least not when they only sold new books; although now they seem to be selling off old stock. Obviously, with them being in a prime location, next to the Post Office and car parks, they'll always have the upper hand over Mr. Books in terms of what we retailers like to refer to as footfall. It's true though that when they have a, so called, "closing down sale," when they aren't actually closing down, it does effect my trade noticeably (although not cripplingly) I'm all for fair competition, monopolies just lead to laziness which in the long run is crap for the consumer and ultimately bad for the business. If trading standards have been on to them about overuse of closing down sales then fair enough I'd say. I'd actually quite like to see them be able to stay open, which would indicate that there is still money to be made from new books and that WH. Smiths, Asda and Amazon can't have it all their own way. Trade fairly or close down would seem to be fair comment....
PS. As a footnote to that, and I'm not being bitchy (well maybe a little) I happen to know that John Adams himself insisted after the last "closing down sale" that My Back Pages take down his name from over the shop, which had been there for over 30 years, because he no longer wanted to be associated with the business in any way. I wonder why?!

Beales half hearted sale....

I wandered into Beales in Tonbridge this morning which, in itself, is unusual, and came out feeling empty and disappointed. The SALE 50% off sign was emblazoned across the front and back of the store but I'm afraid it was the usual con trick to get you in the store. If you get your magnifying glass out and read the sale sign again there's the microscopic words "Up to" over the 50% off bit! When you actually get into the store, and I think this morning I was the only customer in the whole store (down to the weather presumably) there's precious little at half price. In fact most of the things I was remotely interested in were still at full price or with 10 to 20% off at best. Contrast that with Bluewater shops, (only twenty five minutes away and free parking) which I visited the other day, and they are, from what I could see, genuinely trying to shift some mechandise with 30 to 50% discount seemingly being the norm. In fact I'm currently wearing a very fetching Ted Baker lambswool and cashmere half zip jumper which I never would have paid 90 quid for but, at half price, was tempted enough to part with my hard earned cash. The problem with Beales sale, from what I could see this morning, is that it isn't half price, instead it's half hearted.....

Let it snow, let it snow, oh no not again!...

Well here we go again with the snow. I must admit that I really enjoyed the novelty of it just before Christmas, playing in it with my kids, sledging down Lambs Bank, throwing snowballs, walking everywhere, just because I could. But now it really is snow joke as our inability to cope is highlighted once more. The roads are moving but dangerous, the side roads, once again, remain treacherous; fine if you happen to live on a main road but most of us don't! Now the schools are at it again. Do we open, don't we open? Causing uncertainty all round. As the meercat says, it's simple: either call it the night before based on the weather forecast and if it turns out to be wrong then at least your decision was based on good information. Or else just be open with a skeleton staff for any students who live locally and can walk or others who are able to make it in. It's always the uncertainty that causes the problems. And for Pete's sake put the information on your web site. These days it's the easiest and most logical place for anyone to look; radio announcements are ok for those ludites who still haven't got the internet but you have to listen for ages before you hear about your particular school or college; school phone lines are useless since they are totally jammed when there's even a hint of a snow drop. Today it seems that most schools in Tonbridge are open and those in Tunbridge Wells are closed. Have the Head Teacher's overlooked the fact that more than half of their students, in some cases, come from outside the town anyway? I'm sure we'll be back to normal soon enough so enjoy the snow everyone and have a very happy New Year...

Reasons to be cheerful part one....

Regular commetor, The Tommahawk kid, is right to be upbeat about 2010. As he says in a recent comment next year should be full of promise for the country and especially Tonbridge and the South East. The City has taken a battering and is now bouncing back to its pre Lehman Brothers collapse levels; this has to be great news for the economy despite what you may think about the bankers with their noses in the snout yet again. Also there's the Winter Olympics and, more importantly, the World Cup in South Africa. If England have a promising campaign there, as they are tipped to have, then this too can only be good for the economy, as it rises from the ashes; newspapers, TV companies and the other media companies all benefit from the added interest and feel good factor these top sporting events bring. This has a ripple effect for the rest of the economy. So get behind those boys even if you're not a footy fan because we all stand to benefit if England do well. We will come out of recession, in fact TonbridgeBlog, for what it's worth, thinks that we already are in all but a technical definition. That definition, by its very nature always lags behind what everyone can see is going on in the High Street and in the stock market for example. All the indicators are that 2010 will have the potential, for most at least, to be a very happy new year. Let's hope so for all our sakes....

Mr. Books is having a sale?!..

By the way, did I mention that the Mr. Books sale is now on. Pretty substantial it is as well with most books at half price or less and many down to only £2. I must be going soft in me old age!

Party conversation: Wrong snow and private equity....

I had two interesting conversations at parties over Christmas. (What do you mean I'm too unpopular to be invited to any parties!) One of them was with some rich geezer who owned a private equity company. He attempted to explain in the most simple terms what it was that his company actually did. Something about putting the money in a box to be released at a future date; quite frankly I'm still baffled and I'm sure it's not that difficult once you've grasped it. It's the sort of thing I wouldn't mind getting my head around as this guy was just about to jet off to Sidney for a few weeks to take in some opera and to stay at his "bolt hole" in Australia, as he put it! He also mentioned that they had a "pied de terre" in the West End of London somewhere exlusive and another in some art deco mansion near Sunningdale and those are just the properties he talked about. Sickening or what! The other conversation was on the entirely different topic of snow. Was it "the wrong kind of snow" that brought Tonbridge, and much of the South East to a standstill just before Christmas after all. According to the fella I was talking to last night, at party number two, yes it was. In other words not the Highways Department's fault afterall but the Allmighty's! A combination of the extremely cold temperature and, unusually alot of snow at the same time meant that the very cold snow would settle, causing the roads to freeze over. According to him this was a once in twenty years scenario so would have been impossible for the authorities to cope with (which is why presumably they just did what they could to keep only the main roads clear and bugger the side roads!) My friend at this party told me that, when he was growing up his family often spent holidays in the Alps and that the snow there is pretty much the same as the snow we had last week. Great for skiing, crap for driving on! So now you know the truth....

Ho, ho, oh no!...

OK all you Tonbridge bloggers it's time I went off to do my other job. If I've forgotten to send you a card this year or didn't have your address never mind, don't take it personally and accept my best wishes for Christmas and the New Year. Ho, ho, bloomin ho!...

Snow joke continued....

Now we've all had great fun this week walking, and sledging, in a winter wonderland and all that and my wellies have had more use in the last few days than ever before, but come on now council the joke's over. Just clear the snow off all the side roads and put some grit down, preferably before the ice starts to compact itself into a three inch layer again. It's funny that you missed the weather forecasts because, here was me thinking that, we all knew about the freeze from about ten days before. While you're at it, for future reference, can you try and remember that there are some shops in Bank Street and Castle Street and it would be quite handy, if you could find a minute, to put a little grit down to make it accessible for customers and the like. Only, that is, if you're not too busy sorting out the roads of Kings Hill....

Strictly Come Dancing in Tonbridge....

TonbridgeBlog didn't realise that this year's winner of Strictly Come Dancing, Chris Hollins, or was it John or Tim (you can tell how big a fan of the programme I am!) is an old Tonbridgeian, that is to say he went to Tonbridge School. I can't tell you any more about him so it's a pretty uninteresting fact really, unless anyone can tell us any juicy information about him. He and his dance partner, Ola certainly had chemistry on the dance floor, that much I could see from what little of the Strictly series I did manage to catch, but whether it went beyond mere chemistry is a matter of conjecture. Maybe we can entice the pair to do a special performance at the Tonbridge Arts Festival next year, now there's a thought!...

Courier runs tree story on front page....

I noticed that the Courier ran a story in this week's Tonbridge edition about the tree on the corner of Bank Street having been removed and later replaced. Now where have I heard that story before?! They did at least find out the reason it was removed, which is more than I did, but I suppose it's flattering to know that our local rag uses TonbridgeBlog as a source of leads for its main news pages. It's certainly not the first time either. It's funny that they never credit me with it and they never give me any leads. Ah well I'll soldier on regardless!...

Only travel if necessary....

Quite a few years ago, and seemingly in a different life, I used to work for the Daily Telegraph. Just stating out at the time (I'm talking late 8o's here) was a young cartoonist called Matt and he, unlike me, has been there ever since. In fact his small but distinctively querky, little cartoon appears on the front page just about every day. Once again here he manages to capture the moment expertly, as only he can....

P' Off. Customers....

Granted yesterday's weather was a bit freak and caught a lot of commuters out and many people would have cancelled shopping trips and the like. But Sainsbury's and Beales managed to open all day, as did many of the shops along Tonbridge High Street all day, including Mr. Books. I closed at 5 so that I could do my usual Friday stop at the Post Office to post my internet sales off in time for Christmas. When I arrived there the lights were off and the doors were closed with a note on them saying "Due to staff shortages this branch has had to close at 3pm." This branch happens to be the main branch so what are they playing at?! The supermarkets can keep open whatever the weather but apparently out national mail service cannot. Come on Post Office sort your act out!

Goodbye Gerry Stubbs....

I've just this minute heard some rather sad news. Gerry Stubbs, a local poet and very charming man, passed away last week. Gerry turned up to every poetry night when I was running them at The Ivy House up until about a year ago. I used to joke that the poetry nights attracted all styles of poetry from Wordsworth to hip hop and from all ages 18 to 88! Gerry was the 88. He was so dedicated to his poetry that he even had a poetry anthology published at around the same time, by this time he'd have been 89. I still sell his book, Simply Poetic Pride, in the shop and it has some pretty good verses in there, some of them very touching. At the poetry nights he used to hide behind the more frivolous poems when he performed them but, having read his book I know he was capable of more touching, emotional ones. He proudly told us that he's met Glen Miller during the war and had taken part in the D-Day landings. He told me he used to walk everywhere around Tonbridge and that that was his secret for staying fit; and I can also tell you that he certainly enjoyed a pint or two. As his son just told me, he certainly had a good innings. If you're listening Gerry it was nice to know you, and keep on with the poetry up in Heaven....

Snow joke....

OFFERED: Edenbridge Snow
I've been over supplied with snow this month so looking for a good home, plenty to go round first come first served.

This was a genuine entry on the Free cycle site and obviously someone's idea of bringing a bit of Christmas cheer!

Now you tree it update....

The man in the high viz jacket was as good as his word when he said that the Christmas tree would be returned to the corner of Bank Street, facing Church Lane this morning. They must have been up with the larks because it was in place by 9-30 this morning as if it had never gone. And doesn't it look wonderful covered as it is in snow, we could almost be in Lapland! It's starting to feel like Christmas. In fact, since the snow will have probably disappeared by next Thursday, why don't we just celebrate Christmas right now, today and have done with it!...

Traffic update at 10:58! Quarry Hill moving slowly...

Not that TonbridgeBlog is going to start a traffic report service or anything but it does appear that Quarry Hill is open to traffic and moving judging by the buses, lorries and cars that were driving cautiously, but surely up it this morning. I'm not sure about the A21, but I'd imagine that they've managed to keep it going. A white Christmas? Who knows but definately more snow on the way though....

Just look at the size of those parsnips!...

I told you that Shipbourne Farmers Market was worth a visit. I was so delighted with me fruit and veg that I felt inspired to take a photo of it all lovely, still covered in earth, odd shaped and twisted. In other words: exactly as it should be. The trouble is we get so used to the tasteless, perfect looking crap they sell at supermarkets that we forget what real food looks like. The market next week moves from it's usual Thursday to Wednesday to avoid Christmas Eve, but don't get there until about ten 0'clock so I can get all my food first! Tonbridge councils, parish councils, or whoever gets involved in these things, you're missing a trick by not having one in the centre of town every week. One lady I spoke to at Shipbourne yesterday said she had come all the way from South East London just for the cheese stall. Now that's what I call dedication to the real cheese cause!...

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....

It's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing, IT'S SNOWING!!! Well it's so long since we've seen it like this in Tonbridge. That's what one ratter well spoken lady said to me as I walked down Quarry Hill this morning. I had my wellies on and the snow was just about coming up to the top of them. Another lady smiled and said good morning and how wonderful the snow was. Children were out throwing snowballs and running in sheer delight, partly because of the amazing thick powdery blanket of the white stuff; others were already dragging tobogans, behind them off, no doubt, to Lambs Bank for a spot of suicidal sledging. Watch out kids those thorns at the bottom near the fence really hurt; you need to stick your heels in the snow near the bottom before you career into the.... too late! And partly because most of them had just got their best early Christmas present: an extra day off school! In fact everyone was talking and being nice to each other. Why aren't we like this all the time. Mr. Books is open, as are many other shops along the High Street, and let's face it not many people are going to go to Bluewater or even Tunbridge Wells in this weather now are they?! So you may as well trudge along, on foot, into town and do what you should have been doing all along anyway ie. support your local shops! We had an unexpected, but delightful, guest staying last night as my wife's Christmas party at a nearby country pub turned into Shackleton's expedition to the South Pole. On the way back they had to abandon the car half way up Quarry Hill and go on foot the final couple of miles to our house. So Ali, our guest, was given hot choccie and Amuretto before bedding down on an airbed and our warmest sleeping bag on the lounge floor. Still it's all good character building stuff for the girls. The meal at The Poacher in Tudely was, by all accounts, fabulous and the journey home was certainly unforgettable. Anyway all this is really just an excuse to post some pictures of snowy Tonbridge....

Move over Simon Cowell and make way for the new boy in town...

I've agreed to be a judge again on Tonbridge Has Talent, the final of which is to be held at Tonbridge School on Friday February 5th in the New Year. I really enjoyed being a last minute stand in judge and was quite chuffed to be asked to do it again because of my "witty and apposite comments..." and I don't even know what that means! Last year's winner was an outstanding magician from Judd School; there were entries from all over the Tonbridge area from schools, colleges and community groups and it really was one of those unexpectably brilliant night's entertainment that people tell you about afterwards and you think to yourself: how come everyone else knew about it and not me? So polish up on your singing, juggling, dancing, mime artistry, drumming, comedy and get your act together (literally;) or else just put it in your diary and buy some tickets....

Hidden classics of the future?!..

Stuck to know what to read during this coming Christmas holiday season? Then have a look at this article on the Guardian web site which is about the books that got away; that is to say the books which should have been best sellers but, for some querk of bad timing/bad promotion/bad luck just never got anywhere. You may find yourself reading a real hidden classic of the future, who knows! The article caught my eye I suppose because it's always fascinated me how some books are widely acclaimed while others just seem to become also rans and sometimes you know it's just the luck of the draw. A bit like life I suppose. (Oh I say that was a bit profound!)

Quick nip out and buy a Land Rover....

It's going to snow tonight and for the next few days there'll be a lovely white blanket over the streets and countryside around Tonbridge. I don't know about you but I'm always a bit nervous driving in this weather. I've got one of those dashboard computers in the car with the time, date and temperature displayed; yesterday it said minus 4 degrees and it was flashing at me which made me a bit panicky I have to say, I already knew it was cold by the way it took me ten minutes to scrape all the ice of the car windows so why the drama?! The Highways Authority never seems to get around to gritting the side roads, including where I live, so it's fine once you're on the main road but getting to it involved a few hundred yards of driving on an ice rink. I could do with a 4 wheel drive even if only for about two weeks a year. So TonbridgeBlog's message of the day is be careful out there especially if you live in the country and haven't got a Land Rover....

Christmas books....

It's nearly Christmas so if you're not thinking of buying a Kindle or a Sony e-book reader or a book from Amazon, and thereby, incidentally, helping to slowly but surely strangle the independent book trade, then there is a book for just about everyone in Mr. Books at 2 Bank Street. Yes it is getting a bit crowded and full but you can just about still get around and you'll have about as much choice as WH Smiths who tend to spread their's out a bit more. Let TonbridgeBlog know which books you are buying this year for people. By the way the people who live opposite my shop have just told me that they moved to this area of Tonbridge (from America) especially because they love books and wanted to live overlooking it. Aah isn't that nice!...

More on Now you tree it....

Apparently we are getting our tree back. I have it on good authority (ie. a bloke in a high viz jacket wearing a bobble hat) that the tree on the corner of Bank Street, opposite Church Lane will be replaced on Friday morning. They had to take it away due to essential electrical works or something of that nature. I'm sure that the council couldn't possibly have known about that before putting the tree up! Still it's nice to know that the right hand knows what the left hand is doing!...

Now you tree it now you don't!...

I thought it was lovely when they put up a lovely 15 foot Christmas tree on the corner of Bank Street and the High St. It was even lit up quite tastefully with twinkling white lights. I thought how nice it was that, for once, the council haven't ignored the further reaches of Tonbridge High Street. Then, this morning, some men in high viz jackets, and a cherry picker arrived and started to take the lights down. I thought that they were just going to change them for some more colourful ones. I've just looked again and, not only the lights, but the tree has disappeared; all that remains are some cut plant ties and a few sprigs of pine scattered across the pavement. Oi council what are you playing at, give us back our tree!...

Farmers market in Tonbridge pleeeeease!...

I took a step back in time this morning and went along to the Shipbourne (pronounced Shibburn for you out of towners!) Farmers Market bright and breazy just as the church clock began to chime nine o'clock. It's more popular than ever as more and more crafty type stalls start to appear alongside the fruit and veg, game, fish, cheese, mushroom, jams and pickles, honey and bread and cake stalls. I've said it before and I'll keep on saying it: Why oh why oh why can Tonbridge not have a WEEKLY farmers market, selling local produce just like Shipbourne. It could be around the church or around the Castle lawn, anywhere except the excuse of a Christmas market that was held along River Walk the other Saturday. Missed it? I'm, not at all suprised! Some one have a word....

Tonbridge Civic Society does Desert Island Discs at 7-30pm tonight....

Tonbridge Civic Society meet tonight at the Angel Centre in the Riverside Suite (upstairs) if anyone's interested. Tonight is a special Christmasy, mince piey type meeting with a sort of Desert Island Discs light-hearted interview of John Smallman_Smith. John is a man who has served the society well over the years, many of them as Hon. Secretary, and was responsible for twisting my arm to join and then to try out the committee. He's a great character and has a fantastic, some may say corney, wit which only certain people can pull off, and John is certainly one of them. Even if you don't know the man it would probably be an entertaining night out; if you do know him then it's almost unmissable. I'm going to try and make it along myself. Non members are always welcome for a tiny fee and you will get a glass of mulled wine or three and some tastey mince pies if you get there early enough....

Mor on Tonbridge teenagers...

As mentioned in a previous comment and post this is the new basketball court stroke football pitch stroke hockey pitch stroke teenage hang out place on Tonbridge park situated right next to the tennis courts on an otherwise boggy, little used (in the winter anyway) piece of turf. Crap photo I'll grant you but, if you look close enough, there are actually teenagers on there using it and I promise you I didn't stage that like the local rag would have! A good use of council and therefore tax payers' money? I think yes as there's little enough for teenagers as things stand. So maybe a skate park next when funds permit. (By the way, if there are any teenagers reading this, the headline was a deliberate mistake and play on words/letters and it was just a joke so go easy on me! But since none of you can actually be bothered to even get out of bed, let alone read this I'm probably safe.... yes that was a joke as well...sort of!...)

Fork out....

That groundsman at Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club needs to get out there again with his fork to drain that pitch before Saturday's game. He's got his work cut out but I'm sure he'll manage it!...