Life in perspective....

This morning I was confronted with a very sad scene in Tonbridge High Street right on the Little Bridge. There were Police and an ambulance already present so there really was nothing I could do personally to help except get out of the way and not stand there gawping, as others were automatically doing. An old lady was lying on the pavement receiving what looked like desperate emergency CPR from a paramedic. The lady had the indignity of having her chest exposed for passer's by to see but I'll guess that that was the least of her worries. I do hope that they were able to revive her but I have to say that it looked less than 50 50 from what I could see. If anyone has heard any news please comment below. I know this sounds a little cliched but, I tell you, it doesn't half put life in perspective when you see a scene like that right there before your eyes. There was I deep in thought about my day's work, last night's leadership debate and apprehensive about the book fair and all the work involved in that this weekend and suddenly someone is right in front of me who may have taken her last view of Tonbridge. I hope it was a nice one....

Election fever grips Tonbridge....

....er actually not really. I haven't seen any pictures of John Stanley like the one of Greg Clarke's ugly grinning mug as you drive into Southborough. Nor have I spotted many posters for the Lib Dems in people's windows. My next door neighbour is proudly and shamelessly displaying two big Labour posters in his front windows in a street which, I'd guess, is predominantly Tory voting. (Well he is a scouser! A posh one but nevertheless! No offence Dave if you read this!) The Green Party have pushed a leaflet in my hand in a flying visit to my shop but, I suspect, only because the candidate is a regular customer. I've had a UKIP brochure given to me and, curiously, a traditional weights and measures leaflet at the same time (is that a UKIP thing?) But no blatant electioneering so far, no walkabouts, no pressing of flesh at the Civic Society Design Awards dinner I attended the other night. Where are the Tonbridge and Malling parliamentary candidates hiding out? Does John Stanley think that this is such a safe seat that he can afford to take his electorate for granted? I would have thought that, by now, I'd have seen at least a couple of the candidates in the town centre eager to be assured of our votes. Maybe they, like the rest of us, are sitting with bated breath waiting for the next gaffe and, probably, scared to make their own; or else sitting by the TV ready for tonight's instalment of the Prime Ministerial Debate....

Fifteen minutes of fame....

Any bigots out there? As Gordon Brown puts his foot right in his mouth TonbridgeBlog asks: what is a bigot anyway? Here's the Oxford English Dictionary short definition: "obstinate and intolerant adherent of creed or view." I'm sure there are other longer deifinitions which would explain the word more fully, but this one says enough. So was the elderly lady from Rochdale a bigot? I'd say no more so than about half the population so you can draw your own conclusions on that one. You've only got to go in a real pub and listen to the regulars talk, or sit in a factory canteen (and yes I have done that many times in the past) to hear what the average working man or woman (whatever that may be) thinks about issues such as emigration. I remember feeling horified and outraged, as a student working on a holiday camp, when the men in the gardeners hut remarked that Enoch Powell was right that there were too many West Indian immigrants and now there were the rivers of blood he had predicted. Ok that was in the early 1980s and I'm sure that views have become a little more tolerant these days but I'd wager that many a factory and office worker still, at the very least, mutters the odd "bigotted" view to themselves or close colleagues. Of course they do. So, is your opinion of Gordon Brown or politicians generally any different? To be honest the only thing I'm surprised about is that anyone is actually surprised by this supposed revelation. I bet that when Gillian Duffy (the old lady in question) reflects back on this episode she'll realise it was all a storm in a teacup as she banks her estimated £50,000 the Sun is reported to be giving her for her exclusive story! I think it was Andy Warhol who said that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame, well Mrs Duffy certainly got hers yesterday....

All the fun of the book fair....

At the risk of blatently advertising my own event the West Kent Book Fair is sure to be a great family day out (now stop that!) this Sunday. Leave those mobile phones and e-book readers at home and go and see an amazing selection of rare, out of print, not so rare and in print books from 300 (come off it!) ok about 25 booksellers from all over the World (alright the South East of England) at the incredible, the magnificent, the intellectual, the memorable, the refreshingly relaxed, stupendously (oh now he's gone too far!)

Alright alright it's just a book fair, but if you fancy it do come along, there's bound to be a welcome cup of coffee just waiting for you in the book fair cafe (sorry I just can't help myself I'm soooo excited!) Sunday 10am to 4pm in Old Big School, off the High Street, Tonbridge....

Tonbridge Arts Festival officially launched....

I went along to the press launch of the Tonbridge Arts Festival yesterday evening at the Angel Centre. There was quite a turn out from many of the arts groups involved, from local businesses who may wish to become involved and indeed from the press. The Courier are the media partners so they were there doing a sort of roving report, asking those attending what they thought of the whole thing. There were artists with large and colourful fish on their heads, handing out small fish badges to everyone presumably to demonstate the theme of the festival: Fish, er, sorry.... the River. There was a wonderful professional magician called Jonathan Shotten doing close up magic, making things appear, disappear and reappear right in front of your eyes, which I always think is the best way to marvel at magic. A guitarist called Hamish, who won the recent schools Tonbridge Has Talent contest, performed his winning piece and other groups had us dressing up in costumes and taking photos of the "other you!" which was more fun than it might sound. And then there was Committee Chairman, Andy Brett's, presentation on where we were at with only six short months to go before it all kicks off on October 15th. He did a very competent, and mercifully short, stint during which we learned all about the work involved, the famous and ordinary people inolved, the progress made, the venues etc etc. He might as well have just said look at the web site which is exactly what you can do right now. It's still being built (by students at West Kent College) but is taking shape as is the whole event. I for one hope that this will be the first of very many annual arts festivals around October for many years to come and I'll be able to look back and say that, in my small way, I helped create that....

Volcano latest....

Next time a volcano erupts you know what to do! This message has been outside my shop for the past few days...

Volcanic Ash chaos over... now the legal battles commence....

This is a comment I just posted on the Guardian web site next to a blog on the subject of the end of the "volcanic ash crisis" (as it has been referred to in the media) The headline of the article suggests that, now the disruption is over, the finger of blame is starting to be pointed. I thought I'd share it with you. And yes I know it's got very little to do with Tonbridge but so what:

What is the problem with being stuck in some far off holiday paradise with all meals, accomodation and entertainment laid on and all paid for by those lovely insurance companies. Come off it why can't people just enjoy the moment and make the best of it; even turn it into an adventure. Have we all become so stuck up our own backsides that we can't see that no one is to blame for this other than Mother Nature. I wouldn't put it past the Americans to sue her but not us Brits, not quite yet! Can you imagine what would have happened if an airline had flown and then there had been a disaster. Who would be blaming who then?

Pizza Express Tonbridge is, well, alright....

Yesterday I did something I hardly ever do these days: I went out for lunch. Well actually my sister insisted on it as my Mum was staying with her and they were coming over for the day to visit. Against my better judgement we went to Pizza Express, as big sis had some vouchers. So I shouldn't really complain now should I as that might be looking a gift horse in the mouth. And I know that one or two of the regular commenters on this site are getting a little agitated whenever I have a go at local businesses; but anyway I can only tell it as it is and have absolutely no axe to grind with Pizza Express Tonbridge. In fact the prospect of going there was a nice one and, as it was another unseasonally warm sunshiney day, I had booked a table on the balcony overlooking the river. Sounds nice doesn't it but there was something missing and I was very close to requesting a change of table to just inside when I took a look at the table they'd reserved. It was a small wooden garden table which, quite frankly I wouldn't have allowed in my allotment (if indeed I had one) let alone in a restaurant. It was unsteady, stained with food, olive oil and wine and probably bird crap thrown in for good measure. The chairs were just too low for the table; that said our waitress was good enough to offer my mother, who's in her 80s, a higher chair from inside and the staff were, generally, very attentive and friendly. The floor on the balcony looked dirty like they had only just opened the area up for the season and hadn't quite got around to getting it ready in time. Judging by the dried up flowers they hadn't got around to prettying it up either. Without going in to too much detail about the food we had garlic breads, salads and, of course, a pizza. Guess what the pizza, only a Margarita, was pretty tasty as you might expect what with it being a pizza restaurant; I know this because my mum saved me a slice but I plumped for the Salad Nicoise. Actually that too was quite nice and my sister had a chicken salad, which was also not bad at all. We only had a bottle of water so I can't comment on the wine. The garlic bread was ok although wasn't the large round pizza sized one which we were expecting but more like large dough balls, so we had to order another one to go with the olives for nibbly starters. I say garlic bread but in fact I couldn't taste even a hint of garlic so it was really just buttered dough balls. I left feeling reasonably full and satisfied and we had had a nice talk the three of us and the sun had stayed shining throughout. So what, you may be thinking, am I complaining about? Well that's just it, I can't put my finger on it because, as I said, it was mostly quite nice. Maybe that's it I though it was hoping that it would be much better than just quite nice, ok, mediocre, so so, average, reasonable. I had hoped for something better but then maybe I'm hoping for too much from a chain restaurant who would obviously rather that everyone felt it was just alright rather than try to go that extra mile. Maybe next time I'll have a few glasses of wine with my meal so I'll be too mellowed to notice any shortcomings....

Watch out for flying bikes....

Now you might say that these boys' time would be better spent looking for a job rather than doing wheelies outside the Tonbridge Job Centre, or even reading a good book, playing golf or maybe even drinking in Weatherspoons (if they're old enough) but I say: What tosh! I can think of alot worse ways to waste your time. They have obviously spent, or maybe misspent, many an afternoon and evening perfecting their largely useless BMX skills, but Boy are they good. Ireally leke some of the little creative touches they put in the clip as well, like the choreographed stunts and the blurred view in the car reflection (see I did actually watch it!) Even the passers by in the film, which was shot in Tonbridge and Hastings, seem sometimes visibly awestruck (when they're not dodging out of their way that is!) Mind the gap is number two in the most played list on YouTube when you search on Tonbridge with over 167,000 views (that's probably more than BBC Cymru!) and well worth five minutes of your time I'd say so watch it....

Chav's in Tonbridge Park?...

Believe it or not this short film is the most viewed clip on YouTube if you search on Tonbridge at the moment. It's a film about some Chav's (whatever they are) in Tonbridge park and the battle which breaks out with some, presumably non-Chav, locals. It's ruined a bit because YouTube has disabled the sound track because apparently it infringed copyright (oh come off it YouTube) but, nevertheless, strangely compelling. Think of a cross between Clockwork Orange, an episode of Benny Hill, The Matrix and a Tarrentino film and you'll be nowhere near. It's unique, a one off, oh just watch it....

A song for Tonbridge....

And on the subject of music about Tonbridge: did you know that there's an album just been released by an artist called Matthew Herbert called, simply, Tonbridge. I'm not sure what genre it is or how exactly to describe it but you can listen to it here (you may need Spotify if you haven't got it you may as well have it as it's all free) and decide for yourselves. I'm assuming, because, he's a Britist artist, that the track is about our Tonbridge and not the American one but it was a little odd to see Tonbridge along side the other tracks like Milan, Dublin, Palm Springs, Porto and Valencia. I can make out something about the river in the lyrics which could inspire anyone. Food for thought for the forthcoming Tonbridge Arts Festival whose theme is water and the river....

Train spotters of Tonbridge unite....

I know that this is a little sad but, if you want to know what it used to sound like on a Tonbridge railway station platform in 1957, listen here Vintage Train Sounds – At Tonbridge In 1957, Beside The Line To Tunbridge Wells, On The Climb To Somerhill Tunnel It is actually incredible how it would have been the norm to hear the comings and goings of the great steam trains being taken for granted. If you listen for long enough it's strangely compelling and relaxing. Someone has put togther a whole album of this er music. Ok ok I'm a closet train spotter!...

Tonbridge High Street is bursting at the seams!...

To use the blogger venacular: OMG! Tonbridge is packed this afternoon? Is it a Bank Holiday w/e or have I missed something? Possibly because it's nearing the end of the schools Easter break, I'm not sure. Why is everyone queuing the length of the High Street when there are two big car parks the Castle end of town, which is only a five minute walk to the South end of town. I never understand that. Good to see so many people out and about in the sunshine though....

We'll keep the Blue flag flying here....

Well maybe not!....

We'll keep the Green Flag flying here....

No this is not an ad for breakdown insurance! Just a note to say that, whilst I probably won't be voting for Steve Dawe, the Green Party candidate for Tonbridge and Malling, I was pleased to see that he is standing. I don't know him all that well, except from civic society meetings and as a customer in my bookshop, but what I do sense is a man of principle and a hard working man dedicated to his cause. He has shamelessly supported environmentally friendly issues for a long time, long before they became fashionable. It's good to see a real local man of conviction standing and, who knows, with politics in the changeable state it is at the present time, he may even do very well....

We'll keep the orange flag fying here....

So the Liberals may be in with a bigger chance than many gave them credit before this week's leadership debate. What some have overlooked is that was the first of three televised debates and that star performer, Nick Clegg, may not find life in the spot light so easy for the next two as Cameron and Brown learn from their experience. Will this make a likely overturn of Sir John Stanley's large majority in Tonbridge and Malling any more likely? I'd guess not but it'll be exciting to find out. Cameron's call for real change may yet not have the outcome he was intending; as we move into a people power-inspired phase of politics it may be the Lib Dems who hold the balance of power and then they can drive through electoral reform; and with proportional representation we really will see real change as the political map is dramatically altered possibly forever. As a politics student in 1980 I never thought that I'd see that as a real possibility now I think it could be on the cards within the next five to ten years....

Search for the heroe inside....

I heard on the radio yesterday afternoon that there were some heroes in our midst. Two guys who were drinking by the river in Tonbridge (presumably Weatherspoons, although that wasn't mentioned) were summoned to help when an elderly lady had slipped into the river nearby. Luckily they had their wits about them and went to help out. One, who said he was a member of Tonbridge canoe club, dived into the river while the other stayed on the bank to help pull the lady out the river up the steep bank. I gather all this was somewhere near the big bridge although I'm not quite sure. It's amazing what some of us will do when the need arises. One minute the two men are sitting enjoying a quiet pint in the Spring sunshine, the next they are risking their own lives to save an old lady from drowning and in the process become local, and probably national, heroes; and well deserved too. Great heart warming story....

Orange is not the only hair colour....

If anyone saw me around Tonbridge High Street yesterday afternoon, assuming you know what I look like, they'd have seen that I was walking around with orange tints in my hair. (Sadly I didn't think to have a photo taken. ) Let me assure you that this was not a political statement of any kind. TonbridgeBlog was not announcing his intention to support the Liberal Democrats during the forthcoming general election, this is a slur and a falsehood. No the story, very simply, is that I went to have my hair cut (at Jay's in Paddock Wood for the record) and the young boys in the chair before me were being offered Pink, Red, Orange or Blue tints. So we all thought it would be a giggle if old grey hairs (that's me) had a bit of colour added. I plumped for orange because I had to choose one of them; in fact I nearly went for Tory blue but changed my mind just as Jamie (the barber) was unscrewing the the top of the tube of hair colouring. The main idea was to shock my kids when I got home, which worked very well, and it was only driving home that I realised that it might be deemed party politcal. But then, come to think of it, so could many other activities like eating oranges, stopping at red traffic light and supporting Chelsea football club!...

Is it goodbye Bishops?...

If it closes I'll feel a little pang of guilt; I'll admit that. Walking past the, still fairly new, greengrocers this morning my heart sank. It's a lovely sunny Saturday and the place was all closed up at 9-30. The guy on the fruit stall opposite, with whom I struck up a conversation while buying a couple of bananas and a few apples (cox English if you're interested,) said that he thought they had staff problems because they were ill. Does that sound plausible? I did hear a rumour earlier in the week that they may be closing. So why should I feel guilty? Well I made so much of their opening and made optimistic noises about the revival of Tonbridge High Street and how pleased was I that some entrepreneur had had the guts to risk opening a traditional business against the big guns of Sainsbury's and the Co-Op. Then, I suspect like most shoppers I bought the odd apple and bunch of grapes from them, maybe a box of dates at Christmas, but largely forgot all about them when doing my main shop. You see it is more convenient to get your fruit and veg while getting your other groceries from the supermarket and, if I want to, I can always call in at the Shipbourne Farmer's Market on a Thursday and stock up on all sorts of lovely produce for the weekend. In short if it's inconvenient, in the long run, and we humans don't bother, to go out of our way for much these days. I'm really sorry if Bishops of Tonbridge is forced to close, and I do feel a tad guilty because we will only have ourseves to blame....

No Future for you!!!!

Spurred on by the death of the, maybe not great, but certainly huge figure of Malcolm McLaren TonbridgeBlog asks: Is there a future for this little town of ours? The town's changed alot since the punk days of the mid 70's so what will be the scene in another thirty or so years? Will the Angel Centre be at last torn down as the council realises its collosal mistake in allowing it planning permission in the first place? Will the, almost forgotten town centre strategic plan to revitalize the Botany area and the riverside ever come to fruition? Will there ever be a town museum that we can all be proud of? Will the Transport Hub status that Tonbridge has had bestowed on it ever result in a revamped railway station compex thus realising the area's huge potential to become a major shopping centre? And will the dullards suposedly responsible for a vision for the town at least ensure that visitors to the see proper gateways at the North and South ends of the High Street instead of being greeted with crumbling buildings, a badly designed railway station facade and a Poundstretcher! Let us please see some action so that we can all have a Tonbridge to be proud of in the future. We mean it man!...

Oxfam Books in the news again....

"Traditional bookshops are closing, but Oxfam bookshops go from strength to strength. The charity chain has been much criticised by the trade. I'll be taking a new look at the issues and offering a humble petition." 'betweenthelines' Book and Magazine Collector May 2010 issue.

Now that sounds like a familiar topic! I must remember to buy a copy next month....

Crunching blow for Apple's i-pad....

Shame that! I see in the news that there are problems with the newly launched i-pad wi fi connections. That'll teach those big wigs at Apple for trying to do away with the printed word!...

What's happening to Angel Walk....

What is it with Angel Walk shopping arcade in Tonbridge. The Pavilion, which is not more than 100 metres away, seems to be thriving with a full quota of shops boasting Jessops and Boots among others. Yet Angel Walk which, on the face of it is pretty much the same, is going downhill in an ever decreasing spiral. There are already four empty units in the mini precinct and there's soon to be another closure when Holland and Barrat move onto the High Street into a smaller unit. Is the landlord of Angel Walk charging too much? Is the Pavilion doing something better to market its retail units; or is it just that businesses get the jitters when their close neighbours start an exodus? Any thoughts?...

County Council glossy magazines a waste of ink....

"Around Kent" the new trendy looking magazine from those well known publishers of style magazines, Kent County Council, dropped through my letter box today. I can't help thinking that these publications are basically a total waste of time, paper, ink and our money. Why do they find the need to congratulate themselves in this way. They are not providing any news, just a quickly read, easily forgotten mag which promises alot by a glossy cover and delivers very little. I don't want to see style guru Chairman of KCC, Paul Carter's ugly mug staring out at me like an egotistical MD of a local UPVC conservatories company. Please KCC stop wasting our time with these ill thought out and expensive projects. I don't need you to tell me there are pot holes on our roads, I can just drive down my road and nearly lose my wheel axles if I don't manage to dodge them all. Spend our money on what you do best. Now what was that again?!..

Crew Warehouse sale rummage anyone?....

I haven't mentioned this before because I thought I'd keep it a secret but there's a Crew Clothing warehouse sale going on at Tonbridge School right now. I wanted to go along there with ten or so other people who were in the know and pick up a few bargains. No such luck. I don't know how the heck all the hundreds of people who'd turned up had heard about it but, I'm not kidding, the place was like a church jumble sale. There were people of all shapes and sizes having a right old rummage through the clothes which were mostly piled up on large tables in the middle and round the sides. The car park was chocca full, they were having to redirect people to the sports centre car park. There was a queue of people with huge piles of "bargains" on push chairs, over their shoulders, waiting at least half an hour to pay. I had a brief look, cos I do like crew clothing these days but do you know what, I don't think the prices were that low anyway and you can buy alot of this stuff off their web site at similar prices. I just don't get it sometimes with people and supposed bargains must be the herd mentality or something. I walked out without a thing, I just couldn't bring myself to wait that long, feeling like a sheep following the flock. (That's herds and now flocks!) I really would rather pay full price than go through all that nonesense. But then that's just me....

Summer is a cumin in!...

Brrrr! The hardy among us will be pleased to know that the outdoor pool at Tonbridge Swimming Pool will be opening from this Friday. Snow permitting I shall be down there doing a few lengths to help me get in trim for my surfing holiday this Summer. If we ever get a Summer that is!...

Have you seen the size of the RBS Company Report?...

I'm an RBS shareholder. There, I've admitted it! That's what used to be known as The Royal Bank of Scotland. Now you may remember that this is the bank which was forced to reveal, if I've got my facts right, that it had given it's Chief Exec a no conditions pension pot which meant that, however long he worked for the company he would receive what amounted to a £750,000 a year pension for the rest of his life. Not bad if the company decides to retire you early, largely due to your own incompetence, in your early fifties. I'd settle for that! The bank, perhaps not surprisingly, then nearly went to the wall and was bailed out by the Government and therefore in turn you and I. They then pay another top Banker a small fortune to rescue them if he achieves targets; targets which are no doubt fairly attainable. In the meantime they make pledges to keep costs down and bonuses in check. So anyway, being a shareholder, the other day I received their company report; nothing so odd in that you may be thinking. Until you see it and feel the weight of it. It wouldn't fit through my letter box for a start, so I had to make a trip to the post depot to pick up this mammoth document, which was printed on heavy glossy paper in full colour, and wasn't far off the thickness of the Yellow Pages. I'm not exaggerating either. I'm not sure how many shareholders the company has but it must run into hundreds of thousands at least so what cost for production, distribution and postage I wonder? Is this the best use of what is now indirectly tax payers money? Are the wheels in this particular large organisation so slow that they couldn't stop this mostly boring document being churned out because that's what they always produce? You'd think that they wouldn't leave themselves so wide open to criticism this year of all years....

Job done for Tonbridge Juddians....

As expected the boys from Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club 1st XV did the job with two games to spare. By beating KCS Old Boys by 45 points to 15 they have won the London 2 South East league. Read the match report by someone who was actually at the game rather than me who was stuck in my dry bookshop if you don't want to take my word for it. I'll raise my pint of Larkins ale in your honour tonight! As said in an earlier post this really is a fantastic achievement by a side who have battled through thick and thin and, not so long ago, had to get changed in the old lido changing rooms with cold concrete floors, a shower which barely dribbled water (hot if you were lucky) and a bath which probably had the mud of thirty years worth of games silting on the bottom. None of the namby pamby squeeky clean facilities they enjoy now!...

Plagiarism alive and well in Tonbridge....

Many a teacher will be aware of pupils' many degrees of plagiarism, especially since these days it's so easy with google searches, wikipedia and the like it must be harder and harder to detect. I'll wager that quite a few teachers have tried to tell students how bad it is and that they really shouldn't indulge in such low practices. I'll bet that none though have used a phrase which a certain H.L Mencken used in about 1758 about Noah Webster (of Webster's dictionary fame who, it seems hadn't been too proud to use the material of an earlier dictionographer, Thomas Dilworth. Mencken wrote of Webster: "...he was "suffiently convinced of its merits to imitate it, even to the extent of lifting whole passages." So it seems that there's nothing new in this particular form of word-theft. Go on teachers of Tonbridge you can plagiarize that one from me for free as I did from the book I'm currently reading, Bill Bryson's excellent "Mother Tongue."

Good luck today TJ's

It's all going rather swimmingly down at the Tonbridge Juddians Rugby Club this season. No I'm not referring to the way the main pitch has been under three feet of flood water for most of this year but the way that the 1st XV have smashed their way to an unbeaten record. In fact, I think I'm correct in saying, that they have only lost one league game in the last two seasons. The club took the decision three years ago, after a disastrous run of results that, if they wanted to continue the considerable success they'd had in the wider side of the club like a fabulous mini rugby set up and an increasingly strong women's team, not to mention the terrific new club house that they'd invested hundreds of thousands in, then they needed to have a strong first team; one which the younger players would look up to. So they injected money and resources into the playing side of the club. Experienced new coaches were recruited with strong track records with other clubs and counties, key new players were actively sought to bolster the team, a strong emphasis on fitness training was instilled in the players. In short they changed the whole ethos of the playing side of the club so that it now looks like a sharpened semi professional set up at the top level. And boy oh boy have the results followed! In fact, I'm reliably informed by some of the lads who poked their heads in my shop just now that, if they win against KCS Old Boys today then they will win the London 2 South East League. What an achievement by a club who, not so many years ago, had to get changed in the annex of the old lido swimming pool. Good luck to the boys today. Come on ye hoops!...

Happy Birthday Mr. Books....

By the way Mr. Books will be five years old next week....

Forty to one....

At the risk of inflaming an old row I couldn't help but notice the small piece in this week's Courier about the Oxfam shop opening (by the Lady Mayor of Tonbridge and Malling no less!) My views on the subject are, I hope, now clear so I won't dwell on that but I did have a little moment of amazement when I read that the new Oxfam manager's target for volunteers is 40 people. FORTY people, that is to say FOUR ZERO. I know that their shop is a little bigger than Mr. Books and that they are mostly giving their services away for nothing, but that's only just over an hour a week each. Even as a volunteer you'd have thought that people would be able to give it at least a half day wouldn't you? I'm only jealous really of course. I've managed perfectly well with just me and the odd part time cover from friends for holidays etc for the last five years....

Should TonbridgBlog go pay per view?...

So that's it then the beginning of the end of free news on the internet. According to a report in the Daily Torygraph today From June the Times Online have decided to create a firewall on their content in another potentially groundbreaking move for one Mr. Rupert Murdoch. That's not to say that the Aussie tycoon has gone mad and is expecting bush fires on the internet no it's a teccie, computer geeks, term for being able to get to a taste of the content for free and then having to pay a fee to get the full version. A sort of coin meter for web content. Many are predicting that their audience will plummet but TonbridgeBlog is not so sure; Murdoch has an uncanny knack of getting the timing just right (think independent news channels, Sky TV, The Sun popular content.) Everyone thought he was just a meglamaniac nutter in all those cases and look at him now. If you start to think about it why should it be free other than the fact that everyone has got used to it being so. The journalists still want paying, as do the advertising staff, admin staff and production experts so where's the money going to come from in the long term? Only one place and that's the advertisers; but newspapers have traditionally always had that revenue stream and also the circulation sales revenue. TonbridgeBlog would like to propose a £2.50 a day fee from now if you want to get behind my firewall you better get saving up your pennies!...

True blue Mr. Books Bookshop....

And speaking of true blue (in this case the colour of my shop front and not necessarily my political persausion!) it was very nice of The Tonbridge Insider magazine to publish a full page article about the West Kent Book Fair literary events and even nicer of them to use my watercoloured shot of Mr. Books on their front page. They actually phoned me to ask did I mind if they used it. Now what was I going to say to that?!..

True Blue Tonbridge (with red and orange tints)

It's quite interesting during the run up to the general election to take a quick look at the results for the Tonbridge and Malling Constituency from the last election in 2005. You'll see if you click on this link to the Guardian newspaper site that the Conservatives had 24,357 versus Labour with 11,005 and Liberal 8,980. Now I must admit that I was a little surprised by that. I always assumed that the Lib Dems came a closer second and that Labour were in third place, way behind in the polls. But not so. (If you've glazed over by now then you're obviously not interested in politics which, frankly, I find a little hard to comprehend but there you go!) The results were even closer in the 2001 elections and still closer again in the 1997 election when Labour won by a landslide nationally and the Cons failed to take 50% of the overall vote in Ton and Malling. Now it doesn't take a genius to work out that, if you add together the Labour and the Lib Dem votes from 2005 then you have a much closer result; in fact 43.4% as a combined share of the vote versus the Cons 52.9%. I also think I'm correct in saying that there was quite a swing to the Tories in the last election so the previous results were probably much closer. It's a very similar scenario when you look at the results for Tunbridge Wells in 2005 only this time the Lib Dems have a bigger share than Labour. But the important thing is that the two combined would be very much more serious contenders. Now admittedly this all does rather assume that, if the two parties were to combine forces in certain constituencies, as has been suggested in some quarters, then all the Lib Dem votes would go to Labour and vice versa but, nevertheless, perhaps Tonbridge and Tunbridge Wells aren't quite as True Blue as is often made out to be the case....

Local art....

Where can you see local art in Tonbridge? I only say this because I've just had an interesting conversation with an artist in my shop and we got talking about what inspires an artist to draw or paint or take photos. She came in looking for some books which would strike a chord or spark something off. In Mr. Books I've always displayed a small selection of work of local artists and at the moment there's a very eye-catching and unusual limited print by Christine Highland of an abstract map of Tonbridge town centre (or at least inspired by a map of the centre- you know how these arty types think!) I rather like it and I'm thinking of buying the original from her to have on my wall at home. Other places that I know of where they regularly hold exhibitions of local art are the Castle, in the old council chamber room; below the castle there's the annual Art on the Railings which is exactly what it says with very varied work displayed along the river and organised by local group the Platonic Artists. Then there are the more unusual venues such as Retro 66 barbers who show the work from the girls of Hillview school quite often. In fact I believe they have an exhibiton of Sixties-inspired art coming up either this weekend or next. There's also that pine furniture and framers shop, Arcadia, on Quarry Hill Parade who display some rather nice abstract art by Wendy Asprey among others; and I think that Antonias may still have some abstract work on their walls which is also for sale. There must be other places....

Speak up please....

Oh dear the Tonbridge Civic Society talk last night promised much with an architect speaking about his specialist subject of the history of Wealden building. The content was very detailed and the pictures of houses around the Weald of Kent and Sussex made me drool with envy. But I'm afraid that at least half the audience, from about half way back in the room, were straining their ears to hear very much at all. They don't hold back those elderly, usually genteel folk, of the TCS; when speaker Stephen Langer began in a seated position about half a dozen shouted out in unison, "We can't hear you, can you speak up please!" and "It might help if you stood up!" In fact the Chairman had to intervene to politely explain the problem to our guest speaker. Fair enough I say because, if you rush to get to the meeting, often after a hastily eaten dinner, and you're interested in the topic enough to make the effort, as over a hundred people had, then the least you can expect is to be able to hear the speaker. If you have a very good speaker who can project their voice in a theatrical manner then no problem, they'll be heard however loud the air conditioning is at the back of the Riverside Suite of the Angel Centre; but we can't all be Brian Blessed so for heaven's sake make a microphone standard for every talk. The content of the talk was actually very detailed and interesting and Stephen spoke with great authority about many of the traditional building techniques which had been passed down to us since medieval days and before. Techniques which his company have actually used in reconstruction on many projects around the region. But I'm afraid, what most people would have taken away from the night was that they couldn't hear much, which is a shame....

Free car parks....

With the cost of parking becoming a contentitious issue TonbridgeBlog asks where are all the free parking slots these days. We ought to draw up a visitors guide to parking for cheapskates. More likely we'd want to keep them all for ourselves but let's have a go anyway. I'll start the ball rolling and say that, if you don't mind a short walk through Mill Crescent and the parish churchyard, you can park for free all day in the Homebase car park. Or B&Q/Halfords and walk along the tow path past the gas station and town lock, coming out right in the centre of town at the big bridge. There are others on the fringes of the town, like near the old Star and Garter junction, any others?...

Architectural talk tonight anyone?...

Don't forget that there's a talk on Architecture in the Weald of Kent and Sussex hosted by the Tonbridge Civic Society this evening at the Angel Centre. They have some very good and, admittedly one or two mediocre, speakers at their talks; this time it's the turn of Stephen Langer, who's an architect so ought to know what he's on about. This is the last proper talk of the society's season so let's hope it's a good one. Next month the Design Awards will take place at Somerhill House, which is always a lovely evening with some rather nice grub and then it's the AGM and summer event. So if you want a feel of how the society operates then get yourself along tonight. Non members are welcome, although these days there's a charge of £2 (I think) so you may as well join for the whole year which only costs £7. See you there for a 7-30 for 8pm start, or maybe not....

Order, Order....

Now one or two of the comments on TonbridgeBlog have become a little rude, a little threatening and a wee bit too personal. So, at the risk of the blog administrators closing the site down, which I know that not many of you would like, I've had to introduce something which I've always resisted in the four years or so that TBlog has been running: comment moderation; that is to say that I now have to view each commnent before it's actually published, at least for the time being. So when those few bloggers who have been getting a bit carried away with themselves, have calmed down then the facility will be lifted again. I really don't want to use comment moderation because it tends to mean that the blog loses it's immediacy which, after all is part of the point of it. What issue has prompted this action being taken? Is it the great political debate in the run up to a close fought general election? Is it some timeless, unanswered philosophical issue? Is it Christianity versus the other religions of the world that has got their goat? Football even? No it's a book shop closure and a charity shop opening! As the new Speaker of the House of Commons might say: everyone just needs to calm down, I'm worried about you!...

Safe Sir John....

Only one comment on the Politics post! What's going on? Don't you know that there's a general election looming? Are you all so set in your ways that there's no need for a debate? Has Sir John Stanley got one of the safest seats in the country, or will the Lib Dems give him a run for his money. Isn't it time for a change in Tonbridge (and don't forget Malling) just like it might be in the country as a whole. Not wishing to be ageist but he must be knocking on a bit now anyway....

A final word about John Adams bookshop....

I see that the Courier published my letter in today's issue but, because I know that most of you hate parting with the 65p that the paper costs, here it is in full (the paper actually edited it down and missed one or two bits out for some reason, I can't think why!) I wrote it, not to dig up dirt and cause a stir because I've got nothing better to do, but because I didn't want to be tarred with the same brush as Douglas Jeffers and I wanted Tonbridge to know where I stand on the subject of Oxfam books. This really is the last thing I'm ever going to say on the subject.... probably....

"I couldn't believe what I was seeing when I read that Douglas Jeffers, the owner of My Back Pages, formerly John Adams bookshop, was apparently being driven out by Oxfam books. Mr Jeffers is on a very sticky wicket when he argues his case for unfair competition of a charity like Oxfam pushing him out; surely this is just face-saving on his part; his business was dying anyway so you might say he is dressing his grave.
As the owner of Mr. Books in Bank Street, Tonbridge I have watched John Adams having four "Store Closing" sales within the space of a year-and-a-half each time deciding, presumably at the last minute, to stay open to serve the good people of Tonbridge! I opened my shop nearly five years ago to the day on the basis that it would complement John Adams who, at the time, only sold exclusively brand new books, so my business strategy was to sell mainly rare and secondhand books; that was written into my business plan. Further down the line John Adams began selling some secondhand books, and, more recently, purely secondhand books. Then he has the nerve to complain about competition in the town. What is actually wrong with competition anyway? If you ask me it sharpens businesses up, who would otherwise become set in their ways and would operate a lazy, shoddy service. My shop has only succeeded, being tucked away in the almost forgotten old part of the town centre, because I go out of my way to provide this service; in so doing I attract book collectors from all over the South East and, increasingly, from beyond. I might also add that I have revived the dormant Tonbridge Book Fair after a 20 year absense and organised poetry nights and other literary events in the town; Mr. Jeffers has done none of this as far as I'm aware and why would he since he lives in London and not in the community he claims to care about. Yes Oxfam Books opening in Tonbridge gives me cause for concern but if I had to do one of those SWAT analyses they would be a threat, but also an opportunity. In fact I've already agreed to donate around 1,000 books to them, books which have done the rounds in my shop and are now sitting, clogging up my storage and will otherwise probably never see the light of day again. So good luck to Oxfam, they are a wonderful charity and I'm sure that Tonbridge will manage just fine without Mr. Jeffers warped sense of business logic."

Does that make my position clear enough?...

Politics politics and more politics....

Not normally being one to talk about politics on this blog TonbridgeBlog will break with that unwritten convention since we are in the run up to the closest fought general election since John Major beat Kinnock back in the early 1990s. So let's hear your views. How do the people of Tonbridge decide on their vote. Is it just merely blindly following what you've always done, how your parents probably voted. Are you just true blue and proud or are you a floating voter? In which case what will sway your vote? Please don't say that you never vote because they are all the same and in any case what can my vote change? People died for the right to have that vote so go out on May 6th (or whenever) and use it. Let's have a sensible view from Tonbridge voters from each persausion; the case for each main party and maybe some of the fringe parties. There are links to most of them in the left hand column if you want to find out more. As for which way I'm voting, I'll leave you all guessing on that one for now....

What a heel....

Being a bit of a poetry fan TonbridgeBlog was particularly amused, entertained and somewhat surprised that Poet Laureate, Carol Ann Duffy felt moved enough to write about David Beckham's achilles heel. Who says poetry can't reach out to a mass audience?! Here it is as published in the Mirror today:

Achilles (for David Beckham)
Myth's river- where his mother dipped him, fished him, a slippery
golden boy flowed on, his name on its lips. Without him, it was
prophesised, they would not take Troy.

Women hid him, concealed him in girls' sarongs; days of sweetmeats,
spices, silver songs...
but when Odysseus came,

with an athlete's build, a sword and a shield, he followed him to the
battlefield, the crowd's roar,
and it was sport, not war,

his charmed foot on the ball...

but then his heel, his heel, his heel...

Where you bin this week?!..

If you are wondering, as I had been, where all the rubbish bins in the town centre had gone I can exclusively reveal the answer. I thought that the council were about to waste (geddit) a load of cash on new bins when the old ones, with their specially designed cigarette stubber-outers on the top, were perfectly adequate. But no; I have it on good authority, namely the two blokes in high viz jackets reinstalling the one at the Bank Street/High Street corner, that they had been removed due to the security threat posed by the militry top brass Tonbridgeblog referred to in an earlier post regarding the Tonbridge School hosted CCF annivesary event (scroll down if you don't believe me!) I kid you not and you'd think this story were a load of old rubbish (another pun) but if that's the price of freedom then so be it....

Like a lamb to the slaughter....

I loved the story in the Courier today about the Primary School in Folkstone who had the bright idea about teaching their pupils a harsh lesson in reality. They reared a lamb at the school and told them that, when the fluffy animal was old enough, (and presumably fat enough) it would be sent to the slaughter house. Not only that but children and parents would then benefit by being able to buy the choicest cuts of Marcus (yes they even gave him a name) when they were returned from the abbatoir. Whatever you may think about this it apparently resulted in the Head Teacher having to resign, such was the public out cry over the poor lamb. It wasn't just confined to a local campaign either; Paul O'Grady, who used to be known as Lily Savage, proved that he (of is it she) was a big old softy and led a radio campaign to stop Marcus from going under the chopper. By all accounts this was a little severe as The Head appears to have given the children the choice of keeping the lamb as a pet, the children, presumably, opting to vote with their bellies rather than their hearts! I always find lamb a bit too fatty I don't know what you think....

What was wrong with the horse drawn carriage anyway?!..

With the announcement of a new HSR network, that's short for High Speed Rail, by Lord Adonis in parliament today we'll all soon be able to slip up to Manchester in a matter of minutes, Birmingham in a few seconds and Canary Wharf in a nano second! Do we actually want all this at a huge cost to the nation? Is it necessary and vital for Britain's infrastructure in the 21st Century to be able to travel at 250 light years a second? Will it signal the beginning of the end for the motor car after all those billions spent on our roads? Surely not, surely we love our independence too much. Should we, after all, have listened to the likes of John Betjeman and kept all those branch lines, closed in the 1960s and now mostly low speed, but very picturesque, cycle routes? I dunno, life just seems to keep going round and round as each generation of politicians have different ideas and then, in turn, ideas which are remarkably similar to those of previous generations. One of the HSR links I think will be from the Chunnel to Stratford/Canary Wharf so how will this effect sleepy old Tonbridge? Any thoughts anyone?...

The Head of the British Army? Here in Tonbridge....

Apparently the Head Honcho of the British Army was in town today. That's the top man himself who we all know is called, oh now what's his name? Is it still Sir Richard Dannatt or has General David Richards taken over yet? That is according to my inside sources, namely a burly looking copper, who'd been drafted in for the occasion, who happened to walk into my bookshop. No doubt he was checking for explosive devices amongst the true crime section! Only just now, a few minutes ago, and much to the annoyance of those Tonbridge workers who'd tried to make a quick getaway from their offices to be home in time for the Six o'Clock news, who found themselves sitting in their cars for 15 minutes while a parade of young boys playing soldiers marched by. Actually I was quite impressed with the whole thing: never in Tonbridge has so much been owed by so.... (now stop that nonesense, Ed.) I didn't hear the Red Arrows flying over, as had been rumoured, nor the Apache Helicopter for that matter but, nevertheless, it's not every day we see such a show of military mites in the town! (That's a play on words in case you didn't geddit)....

Military mites in Tonbridge....

Don't be alarmed this afternoon if you are suddenly rudely awoken from your post lunch semi comatosed state by a Chinook helicopter overhead. The Taliban haven't invaded; it'll just be the CCF open day at Tonbridge School with a huge schoolboy show of force from many of the schools in the district. I think I'm also right in saying that there could be a Red Arrows fly past. Remember to duck!...

Get your knocked off cameras 'ere!...

Nothing at all to do with Tonbridge really but could appeal to everyone in the town. The Telegraph has a least of useful money saving web sites such as price comparison and auction sites. My favourite from briefly scanning them is an auction site for unclaimed stolen property handed in to Police stations. Now why didn't I think of that!...