Tonbridge Teenage Kicks....

My God I really drew the short straw last night after having agreed to pick up my son from a party in Hildenborough! After a totally sober evening I drove down a narrow country lane in the thick fog, risked turning my car over several times, scraped past some huge tank-like 4x4s coming the other way and eventually arrived at the teenage party which was being held in a room above the host's garage. Unlike most events I pick my children up from this time curiosity got the better off me and I actually went in to collect him instead of waiting sensibly outside. (Truth be told I also thought I might get a glimpse of his girlfriend, who I haven't seen yet, as well!) So into the party scene I went shouting, with faked adult authority, "So this is what you get up to" to my son to cause maximum embarrassment! Then the room hit me in the face. I guess this is what teenagers like but even my fairly liberal minded eyes were horrified. There were drinks cans and rubbish everywhere you looked. There were girls and boys lolling on and over each other, hoodies mixing with Goths and grunges, a dirty stained matress on the floor. Actually I think it was meant to be fancy dress but to me it looked more like the stuff of nightmares. If you can imagine something between a six form common room where the teachers have no access whatsoever and the squalor of the flat in the film version of Trainspotting then you'd be somewhere close! Maybe I'm just getting too old to remember what having that kind of "fun" was all about. Give me a nice bottle of real ale and a generous glass of Old Pulteney 12 year old malt and plonk me in front of an episode of Miss Marple any day of the week! Still my son can make it up to me when I'm an old man by coming to collect me from the Darby and Joan Club which will probably be equally horrifying to him!...