Name dropping....

Just name dropping really: Big cricket book collector Carl Openshaw, President and ex-Chairman of Kent County Cricket Club was in my shop just now talking to rugby nut Mike Dobson, ex-Mayor (twice) of Tonbridge. It's amazing who you meet in this sleepy little back lane....

Earning your Sunday lunch....

Went for a little stroll over to Penshurst yesterday. At least that's what I thought it was! The others in my family plus the German exchange student, we have staying with us at the moment, thought it was some sort of nomadic migration. It is an easyish bike ride from the Castle to Penshurst; but it takes a good two and a half hours each way on foot. Still it was a lovely day, so, as we didn't have enough bikes to go around, off we toddled. I've done the trip several times on the bike, but never walked it before; there are a few boring stretches but on the whole it was picturesque and peaceful, once you'd got clear on that blot on the landscape that is the A21. In fact for much of it you're following the Eden Valley walk, occasionally following the cycle route, which is a little annoyingly busy on a sunny day. I'd promised the family and our German guest a nice traditional English roast Sunday lunch in an old English pub at the half way point. I must admit that even I was glad to see the welcoming doors of the Leicester Arms on our arrival in Penshurst. Two hours later we emerged, after roast beef and yorkshire pud, followed by apple crumble for the slow trek back to Tonbridge; still at least my wallet was a hundred quid lighter! I even caught a bit of sun and certainly feel healthier, if a little achey, today for it. Beats driving there and feeling totally stuffed afterwards in my book every time. My mum would be proud of me, we'd earned our Sunday lunch!...

Come on ye Angels!..

There's obviously a big match kicking off at the Tonbridge Angels ground this afternoon. In scenes reminiscent of Wembley Way in the 1970s (I exaggerate!) fans, I'm told, from Dover FC walked from Tonbridge Railway Station towards Longmead Stadium banging drums, rattling rattles, chanting songs, as only true footy fans can, and jeering at Tonbridge fans. All in good humour from what I saw. Come on ye Blues!!..

Putting the record straight on John Adams Bookshop....

I read that John Adams wants to get customers back! After holding a six month long closing down sale is it any wonder that many have drifted away to Amazon, WH. Smith, Sainsbury's, Waitrose, and more than a few to my bookshop, MR. Books? Doug Jeffers, the London-based owner of the shop, by the way John Adams himself sold the shop 12 years ago, is now telling the local press that he's staying open at least for the time being. He told me a couple of weeks ago that he's extended his lease only for another six months and has had his rent slashed to £10,000. I'm pretty sure that he won't be able to keep the rent at £10k though, when the landlords want £32,500 for the new lease according to their agents. So Tonbridge Blog predicts that John Adams, or is it now called My Back Pages, as it says on the window of the shop, will only be open for another ten months tops and that's if he manages to get the lease extended again. I could be wrong but I'm willing to put money on it. I am aware that I have a vested interest in this one but Mr. Jeffers ought to be straight with the people of Tonbridge. I've been reliably informed that he's keeping the shop open only so that he can flog off all the stock that he couldn't sell during the lengthy "closing down sale." Also don't believe all that rubbish that they had difficulty getting hold of new stock because of Woolworths closing down. What rot! Betrams, who were part owned by Woollies, are not the only supplier of new books. Mr. Books Bookshop has been happily ordering new books in for customers, in inceasing numbers, throughout the whole of that period from another new book wholesaler, Gardners of Eastbourne, who John Adams also have an account with, so how can his story stack up? Come on Mr. Jeffers, stop miss-leading the people of Tonbridge, you are closing down soon so just be straight with us....

Jack Cardiff dies....

I bet not many of you knew that Oscar winning cinematographer and film director, Jack Cardiff, who died yesterday, lived the last years of his life in Sevenoaks and was often in the Tonbridge area. I had the good fortune to be invited to his house a year or so ago to assess his book collection and briefly met him. He had many rare art books for example and a few special signed first editions. The walls of his house were decorated with framed photos and film memorabilia. His books were all over the house so I had a great opportunity to nose around a bit and was particularly struck by one poster which was hung up on the wall of his study. The inscription underneath the photo of a glamourous blond film star read "I wish I could look as good as you make me look" Signed Marilyn Monroe! Needless to say, it wasn't for sale but just seeing it was something to remember....

Kentish Man????

The freebie magazine, The Tonbridge Insider, has a small piece in the current issue about the Men Of Kent/Kentish Men debate, borrowed from an earlie article by Frank Chapman of the Courier newspaper. First question is What about the women?! Then the next question is Why can't anyone actually tell me a defintitive answer to the age old puzzle? My son was born in Pembury Hospital, and at the time we lived in South Tonbridge. I think that makes him a Man of Kent, but I'm not sure. It's easy for me because I'm a Lincolnshire Yellow Belly and a Meggie, that is to say born in Cleethorpes, but that's not really relevant to this debate. There is of course a society called The Association of Kentish Men and Men of Kent which, if you're really that bothered and have plenty of spare time on your hands, you can join up and debate the issue till you're blue in the face. Their number, as mentioned in the article is 01732 833374, speak to R.G. Adams or by email on radams@aol.com he probably lives in East Sussex!

The winner of the Civic Society's Design Awards....

Tonbridge Civic Society held their Design Awards last night at Somerhill House. It was a glorious evening so the 100 or so guests were treated to delightful views as they sipped some very quaffable chilled white wine on the terrace. The food was incredibly good considering that the caterers were more used to doing the school dinners at Somerhill (which is a school for its day job) and especially considering the tickets for the whole evening, including wine, were only £12 each. On to the business end of the evening, the awards themselves, and this year they were interesting, informative and even at times entertaining. John Durtnell, of the main building contractor on the winning project, Durtnell's, in particular skilfully managed to fit in a three year, £11m project into a twenty minute presentation. Not quite the ten minute slot he was allocated but, nevertheless, some going! The winning project? Tonbridge School's Sports and Media Centre. Head Master Tim Haynes, sung it's praises in a short but very eloquent speech and informed the audience that the project had been decades in the melting pot and, due to the drive of the school's Director of Sport and the out going Bursar, Ray Hart in particular, it had finally come to fruition. It's worth going along to this event, which is held about the same time every year; its good to know what the main building projects in the town have been and to hear the builders and architects speaking about them and the pride that they give them. Someone told me today that Durtnells have been a local family business since 1591! If that's true then it's uplifting to know that such a comapny can survive this long by offering a great service and being involved in some major projects like this one....

Japanese visit Tonbridge....

Just had a really strange conversation about ex-libris book plates in my shop with a Japanese girl student visiting out fair Isles. You try explaining to a Japanese person, with only a very basic command of English, why you would bother to put a label on the inside page of a perfectly sound book to claim ownership of it. It is a little odd anyway if you start analysing it. Of course she bought them anyway, at £1.99 for 12 they were a bargain, and then we had the inevitable photo session of me outside the shop holding a pile of books for effect. Why do the Japansese want to do that everywhere they go? And another thing: did you know that the Japanese are obsessed with Winnie the Pooh? Bizarre I know but, curiously, true.

Tonbridge Blog just got juicier...

Come on then let's spice up TonbridgeBlog a bit. Post your local gossip below. The juicier the rumours/stories are the better. Let's stoop to the lowest level possible. Yes that ought to get the interest levels up a notch or two. Know anything about a well known person in the town? Has anyone been up to something they shouldn't. Is the Mayor having an affair? Does John Bartram of Allsorts, have a secret stash of Gollywog dolls in his basement? Do the traffic wardens enjoy playing fetishist games in the Castle dungeon home?! There are bound to be some unpopular neighbours you can rat on out there! Here's one to start the ball rolling as it were: Pampas Grass. What does this innocent looking plant mean when displayed in a front garden? Post anonymously if you prefer....

Amazing job....

Congratualtions to the council, police and workmen who cleared up, made safe and rebuilt the attic wall on the very old building above Silverman's jewellers which suddenly collapsed recently narrowly avoiding seriously injuring someone. It has now been completed, all within three weeks and looks amazingly good. With a few months of traffic dirt on it you won't even notice that it's not 16th century....

Follow Tonbridgeblog on twitter

No I'm not closing TBlog down or anything as drastic as that but if you want to follow my twitter updates, or "tweets" as they are known in the twittershpere the simply log on to www.twitter.com and search on Tonbridgeblog. Once you've found me you can "follow" me, hopefully not literally cos that would be stalking, and if I like the look of you I can follow you back; that's how it works. While your about it you may wish to follow more interesting people with lives like Steven Fry or Jamie Oliver or Jonathan Ross, all of whom are twitter freaks. The trick is to get your tweet into only 140 characters, which can be rather annoying at times, especially since I'm used to rambling on a bit....

Happy Easter Tonbridgians....

Yes the previous posting was an April Fool prank! Had some of you going though didn't it! Nothing much to report at the moment. My mind's been on other things. I'll try to resume normal service, if you can call it that, after the Easter break. And boy do I need one, break that is. Feel free to carry on without me in the comments. You could talk about anything you like really: the traffic chaos, how parking attendants/civil enforcement officers are ruining trade in the town, are we going to allow 2o storey tower block new developments in the town centre, has anyone spotted Kelly Holmes recently, or is she still "coming down" after having sat next to Mrs Obama, the First Lady, at the State Banquet, you know that sort of thing.

Tonbridge Castle to be restored....

Tonbridge and Malling Council along with a consortium formed by English Heritage, the National Trust and Kent County Council have today announced that the medieval castle at the heart of old Tonbridge is to be fully restored to it's former glory. The architects, Messrs. G.I. Raffe and Sons, who have been appointed to the project have based their plans on the original drawings (see pictures above) which were discovered in the archives at the British Library last year. For many years the castle has been thought to have housed Henry VIII's old crown jewels in its keep and to be one of the best kept Motte and Bailey castles of its type. The old curtain wall and the battlements are already being excavated ahead of the build. The tower at the watergate will be around 200 feet high, dwarfing even the parish church tower and will provide panoramic views over the whole of Kent. Mr John Showers, the planning director responsible for overseasing the project at TMBC, said that on a clear day visitors to the castle will be able to see right across the English Channel. "The people of Tonbridge are in for a treat..." Mr. Showers said "...of course the project won't come without its costs" he added "We intend the new Tonbridge Castle to stand for the next thousand years so it will be worth every penny of the extra £650 special contribution from every household in Tonbridge and Malling. Although the people of the town won't have a choice in whether or not they pay this one off tax, I'm sure that all will agree that it will be worth it." A spokesman for English Heritage also hailed the project as "the project of the millennium" and apologised in advance for the probable three years of disruption to Tonbridge that the building work and the re-routing of the River Medway would cause. This is sure to cause a stir in the town so have your say by posting a comment below....

Telepathy-based social networking is the future....

Telepathy-based social networking? Is the future? According a report on the Gwarniad newspaper website today. Are they 'avin a giraffe or what? I suppose anything's possible but TonbridgeBlog thinks that maybe there's an April fool prankster mucking around at the national paper's editorial offices. The Gwarniad, famous for its misspelling and much mocked by Private Eye, was was sticking to its story and said that not only that but the paper would soon become a "virtual paper" along the lines of Twitter. It has to be a joke surely; but roll on another twenty years and who knows; and then who'll be laughing?!..

Books are coming home....

Well that's another West Kent Book Fair out of the way! It went alright at Tonbridge School on Sunday but, as one regular commenter on this blog mentioned, quite a few people clearly stayed at home to make good use of a dry Sunday to get some gardening and home maintenance done. It always slightly surprises me that out of the 2 million or so people in West Kent, only a few hundred turn up for the fair. Having said that it always seems to be the right few hundred people, mainly book collectors. They will travel far and wide whatever the weather in search of those illustrious first editions. Book collecting is not a bad idea in the current economic climate either; why put your money in a bank to earn half a percent interest, if you're luck, when you can enjoy hunting for and then owning some rare and beautiful, cloth and leather bound volumes which, more often than not, appreciate in value quite significantly over the years. Rare books don't become less scarce with time do they? Have I convinced you to put your money in books and to come along to the next book fair in October? Or in the meantime there's always a visit to Mr. Books in Bank Street! To coin a phrase from the famous football song: after 10 years of internet books are definitely coming home...

West Kent Book Fair in Tonbridge on Sunday....

At the risk of harping on about this event a bit too much and lapsing into the pit of using this blog as an advertising vehicle for my own businesses, which is not really intended most of the time, there is a book fair at Tonbridge School this Sunday from 10am to 4pm. I won't say another thing about it except to say if you want to go click here to find out the full details and for directions to the event....

What's occuring in Tonbridge?

Well half the attic wall fell down onto the pavement to the side of Silvermans Jewellers on the corner of the High Street and Bank Street, near my bookshop. Lucky there was no one underneath, parking their bike or something! It caused a hell of a clatter and could have killed some one, or at least very seriously injured them. That was yesterday afternoon and I must say the Police and council repair men were very swiftly on the scene to clean up the large mess of wood, plaster and bricks which had rained down (narrowly missing my shop sign I might add!) and to ensure nobody walked underneath. So credit where it's due. Meanwhile I'm putting the finishing touches to the organising of the West Kent Book Fair which, if you didn't know already and you are interested enough to come and have a browse, is this Sunday from 10 till 4. There's quite a bit to do in telling the Tonbridge School porters where to put the tables, catering equipment, etc. Then there's the late cancellations and bookings from the book dealers to field. And you thought it just happened! The weather forecast, thankfully looks fine, even a bit sunny, which is good and also quite unusual as it has rained, snowed and rained on the day of the previous three fairs. Business in the shop is quiet at the moment, lunch time and another iffy day weather wise never helps. The high street is quiet and relatively traffic free ahead of the jams which will undoubtedly take place in about an hours time when all the schools kick out. Shortly followed by the office workers going home for their teas. What's occuring in your part of Tonbridge? Anyone out there?...

Planning for change in Tonbridge?...

Last night I went to the Civic Society's monthly meeting at the Angel Centre to hear what Steve Humphrey had to say. Steve has got some fancy title but basically he's in overall charge of planning matters in Tonbridge (and let's not forget Malling.) He and his team have a large say in what buildings go and which don't go in our town. Many of the decisions he takes effect Tonbridge not just right now but for future generations too. He ran through the main developments under consideration at present and they include the Botany area, which has just had a major and rather hideous in my opinion, planning application rejected, West Kent College's new building, which is a £70 million project, large in anyone's book; and then there was Tonbridge School's new sports and media centre, the Riverside Centre, with its 11 storey church tower and the list went on. Many of these developments could change the skyline of Tonbridge for good, and it is slightly worrying, but also a bit exciting, that there is no cap on the height of a new building in the town; each case is taken on it's own merits according to Steve. It has to be inkeeping with the town and it's overall strategic plan and it has to be, to use Mr. Humphrey's phrase, fit for purpose. So in other words it's completely down to the imagination of the developers and the discretion of the handful of, probably overstretched, workers in the planning department at the council. We are pretty much in their hands. There have been a few notable exceptions where the voices of the townsfolk have been heard when they've objected to large projects, such as Oracle's 15 storey tower block development, but these instances are few and far between. The civic society in Tonbridge seem to have their heart very firmly in the right place, even if they are by nature a rather genteel pressure group, but is that enough? The town it seems is at a crossroads in it's development, and the recession, by the way will only slightly delay the final outcome: will Tonbridge stay as a quaint little one street town hanging on to it's market town past? Or will it embrace change and not stand in the way of developers, who may have spotted its potential to develope into something much more significant? Next time you're down that way take a look at the vast acres of space around the Angel Centre, Botany, the railway car parks and imagine how it would look with a huge shopping centre and 15 or twenty story flats and offices above. Ask yourself do you like what you see....

Famous folk of Tonbridge and beyond....

TonbridgeBlog has covered "Famous People of Tonbridge" before so I won't babble on about Colin Cowdrey and E.M. Forster or even Eliza Acton and, dare I claim it, Jane Austen. But I did find out the other day that apparently the famously rotund dry commedienne, Jo Brand, of QI and other programmes fame, is the most famous Twiglet of all time. (Inappropriate nickname, as I'm sure Jo will admit!) That is to say she went to Tunbridge Wells Girls Grammar School, TWGGS for short (geddit?) I know that's not quite Tonbridge, but where's the TunbridgewellsBlog to tell you about it? So someone's got to mention these things!...

Lost Powder Mills of Leigh book signing at Book Fair....

Anyone interested in the excellent new local history book, The Lost Powder Mills of Leigh by Chris Rowley, which I have had to restock twice already will be able to buy a signed copy or three at the West Kent Book Fair next Sunday. Chris will be there from about 10-30 am to around midday....

Twittering on and book buying....

Too busy selling books and sorting out storage and clearing out stock to make way for new stock to be bothered much with blogging at the moment. Anyway I've discovered Twitter.com! The great thing about that is it's always short and sweet, as you have to say what you want to say within 140 characters max, unlike here where I could just ramble on for pages and in any case how many people are actually reading it, judging by the comments not that many and I can't actually work out the number of page views since TonbridgeBlog converted to Google blogger; I know it was around 2,000 hits a day on the old site, but was that the same person visiting 2,000 pages or was it 2,000 people visiting only one page each; probably somewhere in the middle, but where in the middle? Who knows! I did say that you can ramble on for pages and that you should try twitter didn't I. Anyway what I would like to know is what brings people out book buying. I've been a book seller now for 5 years and I still haven't worked that out. If it's raining they stay in or go to Bluewater, if it's sunny they take a trip to the coast or do some gardening. Maybe what I need is a dull, but not too cold day, with no hint of rain or wind, when Bluewater is closed and there are no other sales on and the internet happens to have crashed that day! Also what are John Adams playing at? Are they trying to keep the good folk of Tonbridge guessing as to are they closing or aren't they. First they advertise "Closing Down Sale" and tell everyone that they're closing at the end of March. Then they take the signs down and tell people they can now order new books but they're not restocking. The good thing for Mr. Books is that they are driving people to my shop to order new books as well as top quality secondhand books where, incidentally, they will find friendly service all year round! I have it on fairly good authority (I spoke to the owner, who curiously is no longer John Adams, but a London bookseller called Doug) that they are open for another six months while they flog off the old stock and then it'll be bye bye Tonbridge. So I find myself in the quite nice position of being the only independent bookseller in the town. All I need now are customers to stop buying their books on the internet and for WH. Smiths to follow Woollies and go bust and perhaps a bigger shop!...

Free Tonbridge Press....

I was speaking to my mole at the Courier yesterday and it seems that they are having big problems over at Courier HQ. In last weekend's paper you may have noticed that the management sneaked in an announcement about job cuts and more office closures and that they are folding the Focus free sheet as of next week (not that anyone will miss that three minute read!) It seems that there is more to it and that the office in Sevenoaks for the Chronicle is to be closed and much of the sub editing, design and backroom staff are to be moved to new offices in Chelmsford. So the Sevenoaks Chronicle is to be written from Tunbridge Wells and designed and edited in Essex. Ditto the Tonbridge edition of the Kent and Sussex Courier. (Make that the Kent, Sussex and Essex Courier and the way they are going on Surrey, Suffolk and Hampshire!) Surely this has all gone a step too far; how can these papers be local papers any more. Don't local papers need a constant ear to the ground in the town which they're reporting on. Even the best of their reporters won't be able to achieve truely local stories of any depth by holding a weekly "surgery" in the library. It just won't work. What they'll end up doing is going more and more down the well trodden route of relying on stories coming to them. By the nature of things these stories tend to be PR led. Have a read through the so-called "stories" in the paper (any paper for that matter) and see how many of them mention some company, charity, event or organisation. That usually is the main source of the story; quite a scarey prospect if you think about it. It's called lazy journalism, they get their stories by sitting on their backsides and the PR companies feed them information to get exposure for their clients. It's not how it should work, but the reality is that this is how it increasingly does work and the Courier's short termist strategy only serves to exacerbate this process. TonbridgeBlog has said this before but isn't it time to bring back the Tonbridge Free Press? Actually the Courier group still own that brand name but I'm sure they'll sell it to someone for a few pence. After all they clearly have no further use for it!...

West Kent College....

I was over at West Kent College yesterday afternoon and, although the place is just a huge building site at the moment, I couldn't help but think that the college will be amazing when it's finished. Unfortunately that isn't likely to be until the back end of 2011, but it's going to be worth waiting for I reckon; after all they are spending a staggering £70 million on it's construction. I've seen the plans for the frontage of the new building and, from memory, they looked very impressive and modern, which may not please everyone but should at least make the amateur architects among us look twice. There will undoubtedly be more complaints about parking problems and the like, but I'm sure that most will be ironed out with sensible provisions for cyclists and pedestrians combined with good transport links into the town. I sort of pity the students who are there now though as they get all the grief of the building works and, most at least, are unlikely to still be there when the work is completed. So they don't get any of the benefit. That said, what a fantastic place it will be to leave for many future generations of students....

Boxed dogs!...

Here's another thing that tickled me today (well it is red nose day) This ad appeared in today's Courier in the classifieds under Books and Magazines: Dog Collection: Magazines and dogs (still boxed) £50.
I just hope that they've had the good sense to cut some breathe holes in those boxes!

Red noses....

Even an old cynic like me couldn't help help but chuckle to myself when I saw this outside the Humph Bean pub this morning. I'm pretty sure that the owner of the vehicle in the pic was inside, taking advantage of the all day cheap beer and, no doubt, developing a red nose of a different kind, but that's another story!...

West Kent Book Fair coming up....

I've just sent out a press release to all the local newspapers and radio stations that I can think of. There are probably more which I haven't thought of. If any one is interested it's on Sunday March 29th. In fact you may as well see the whole press release:

Hundreds of book collectors are set to descend on Tonbridge for the West Kent Book Fair which takes place on Sunday March 29th, 2009 in the magnificent urroundings of Old Big School hall, Tonbridge School. There will be around 25 booksellers coming from all over the South East and beyond to sell books as diverse as bargain paperbacks to rare out of print collectable books and modern first editions. There will also be postcards and ephemera on sale. As well as being a book collectors' paradise the event is very family friendly with a childrens area for childrens stories, the chance to meet local authors and refreshments available. Chris Rowley, author of "The Lost Powder Mills of Leigh" will be at the fair from around 10-30am to 12pm to sign copies of his book. Visitors will also be able to take part in a new literary boardgame, called Bookchase. The fair will be open from 10am to 4pm. Please contact the organiser Mark Richardson at MR. Books Bookshop for further details on 01732 363000 or look at the web site www.mrbooks.co.uk for further details and directions to the book fair. (ends)

Did I leave anything out?...

Silence is Golden....

The Perfoming Rights Society, the PRS for short, have sent me several letters regarding the playing of public performances. Hang on a minute I thought to myself on receipt of the second letter (the first went straight in the bin) I can't even play a note let alone do a performance! The PRS are in the news today: they're having a slightly bigger dispute with the mighty Google about the licence required to play music clips on YouTube. It seems that the society is getting a bit greedy: they're also in the middle of another dispute, this time with Kwik Fit over the rights of the Kwik Fit fitters to play their own vibes on their own radios at work. The issue seems to rest on whether more than one person, especially customers, but also work colleagues, can hear the music. The PRS are claiming that the car repair shop chain owes them over £200,000 in back dated fees. In the case of Mr. Books book shop I would be required to pay a licence fee of £73.60 a year for background music, such as a radio, and £136.70 to be able to "perform" music from cds and the like. Presumably that includes from an i-pod or mp3 player (Ididn't ask them) It seems that dear little Mr. Books would have to pay the same as other Tonbridge shops the size of say Halfords or WH Smiths. I sugested to them that should I wish to play music in my shop then surely it should be based on the estimated number of people to visit in a week or month. No they said, it's based the square footage of the shop, with a large minimum threshold, regardless or how many customers you get in a week. (So long, that is, there's more than just me listening.) They made me feel sorry for their artistes and asked me did I realise that 90% of their musicians only earn royalties of less than £5,000 ( a well used line I suspect) I learn today from an article in The Times online that I should feel less sorry for them since the highest paid director of the PRS was paid £425,000 last year! and they raked in over £600m in royalties by, mainly it seems, hastling with ever more agressive tactics, small businesses like mine. So I shall contunue to listen to the radio on my lap top computer (there's another grey area) but not radio one or two for me. Just as well I love listening to Radio 5 Live and occasionally Radio 4 and other talk stations isn't it. But hold up Radio 4 is now playing Jazz with Kenneth Clarke (isn't he meant to be bring the Labour Party down not drooling over the sounds of Charlie Parker et al?) But still there's always good old silence, that can be golden too....

Good intentions....

I wonder how the new green grocers, Bishops of Tonbridge, is doing; I must admit that I've only bought one banana from them when they first opened; and it was a very nice banana. This despite my good intentions of going there for my weekly fruit and veg shop. You know what they say: The road to hell is paved with good intentions! The trouble is you have to make a special effort, whereas you're sort of in Sainsbury's or Somerfield anyway. Lazy I know, but I wonder if other people, if they're honest, feel the same. I hope they do well and I'll continue to have good intentions to shop there....

Bag off Bartram!...

Drivers in Tonbridge have the increasing number of chasis-breaking pot holes to contend with; now pedestrians have John Bartram and his bags to put up with. Don't worry Mr. Bartram we'll all side step your granny trollies if it helps you sell a few more bags and stuff. We retailers know how hard times are at the moment. Mr. Bartram, owner of the shop Allsorts of Golliwog Dolls on Tonbridge High Street, was unavailable for comment....

Ladies who don't do lunch....

Saw this down St John's Road a few days ago. An image pops into my head of a kick-boxing karate-chopping agressive woman taking on a genteel Gucci hand bag carrying lady-who-does-lunch!

More on Pot Holes....

Just bought this week's Courier. Splash on front page reads: "Safety Fears as roads go to pot" I've been out-scooped by the local rag! How dare they! There's a first for everything and TBlog is only a one man band....

Pot Holes in Tonbridge roads....

Pot holes! I'll say that again: Pot holes. Has anyone noticed how many there are this year? In some areas the roads are looking more and more like farm tracks and those unadopted roads you find on some posh housing estates. I'm pretty sure I know what has caused them: an exceptionally cold winter causes water to get into cracks in the surface and then freeze; and we all know of course from out science lessons that ice expands and therefore has to expand somewhere, in this case forcing it's way out and therefore causing a great big pot hole. I'm sure someone out there will correct this rather elementary explanation but that's basically it. So do we all have to go out and buy a four wheel drive or is the council, in this case I believe its Kent County Council Highways Department I'm referring to, going to do something about it before one of us falls into one of them. Some say that I've been digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself for the last twenty years but that's a different matter!...

The Lost Powder Mills of Leigh....

Anyone ever been for a walk or a cycle ride along the path from Tonbridge park via Barden Lake and then over to Powder Mills? Did you know that, as you reach the end of the track and go onto the road near the Glaxo site, you are close to a bit of important military history? Some claim that without the gunpowder mills, which were on that site, we would not have won the Battle of Waterloo. So we could all now be eating loads of garlic and drinking wine, (ok we do do that) but we don't say ooh la la and have squatty toilets do we! Yes Powder Mills, or The Ramhurst Mill, as it was known in 1812 on it's opening is a great historic building. I say "building" but actually there's not much left of it after it was very efficiently demolished about 70 years ago. As many as a dozen workers died, I would imagine quite horribly, during its 140 years manufacturing some of the finest gunpowder on the planet. How do I know all about this? Because I went to a talk and film by the Leigh Historical Society, hosted by the Tonbridge Civic Society, last night. They have published a book, pictured, all about the mills, their social and economic importance to the area and about the conservation work they are helping to carry out, funded by a very substantial Heritage Lottery funding. Yes you can order copies of the book at Mr. Books, Bank Street for a mere £19.95, signed by the author, Chris Rowley, no less if you're quick. He tells me that the book cost around £60 per copy to produce, given the low print run, so grab one before the price goes up....

Tonbridge Has Talent revisited....

If you want to see highlights of the recent Tonbridge Has Talent, held at Tonbridge School with most of the senior schools in the district taking part click here. It really is worth watching, but be warned it is an hour and a half long, but then Britain's Got Talent goes on for about a year! The editors seems to have taken out the judges comments, which were in between the acts, so I'm afraid you won't be able to see me at my cutting best as I tore into those poor teenagers, like Simon Cowell with a bad hang over! Watch the video and judge for yourselves who you think the winners should have been; then you'll see for yourselves just how difficult a job I and the other judges had on the night. It was a fun evening and did prove that the young folk from the schools in and around Tonbridge had talent, and by the bucket load. So here's a challenge to anyone out there who thinks they could do as well or better than these guys: You've got just under a year to come up with something original and entertaining for next year's show, it was such a success so there's bound to be another one, so get practicing soon....

Tonbridge Statue would make a statement....

Whatever you think about the great big white horse, the so called Nag of the South, winning sculpture design, which is to be erected near the Ebsfleet Euro Rail station it's got to be worth considering something similar to mark the gateway to our fair town of Tonbridge. Any suggestions? I go to Dorking once in a while and have noticed the recent addition of a very large cockerel scupture in the middle of the roundabout as you enter the town. I don't know what the significance is to the town but you certainly notice it as you drive in. So how about it Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council! After all there are several examples on the roundabouts near the Kings Hill council offices are there not. There's no use leaving money languishing in an Icelandic bank account any more is there, or earning 0.3% interest in the Abbey National, spend some of it tastefully on a special project. Tonbridge urgently needs something, some statement to let visitors know that they're reached their destination, they've arrived, they need go no further. But what would it be. How about a very large Frank Woolley, with bat held aloft, ready to strike! Now that would be impressive. Or how about a miniature Tonbridge Castle, or simply a large cricket ball, maybe a printing press, or an old style river barge something to symbolise the town's history. Yep, I'm still favouring the Frank Woolley idea. Where would it be placed? Well there's that patch of grass, where the Star and Garter used to blot the landscape or at the other end of town there's the roundabout next to St. Stephens church; maybe both....

Around Tonbridge...

Around and about in Tonbridge. A few photos for you. Now what is that statue at Botany all about then?!..

Too much excitement...

Pancake day and the Tonbridge Civic society meeting to look forward to tonight. Too much excitement in one day surely! The talk at tonight's meeting is all about the history of Powder Mills at Leigh; if anyone is interested it starts at 7-30pm for coffee and biccies with the actual talk starting at 8pm. It 's always held at the Angel Centre upstairs in the Riverside Lounge. Which is a bit of an odd name for it since it's not really a lounge and it's not by the river, only a stream! Anyway I'd better go as I'm on the "Executive Committee" (Oh yes, sounds grand doesn't it) and I missed the last meeting and in fact the last committee meeting as well. Naughty, naughty, slapped wrist from the Hon. Sec. tonight!...

Bring the Tonbridge market back home....

I'm not kidding but at least two people poke their heads in my door virtually every Saturday to ask where the market is now. It happened again just a few minutes ago. "Excuse me..." said a polite oldish lady "There used to be a market here on a Saturday, when did that stop then?..." "Oh only about seven years ago!" is my usual reply. It just goes to show that this part of Tonbridge is still the area where folk expect a market to be. After all, apart from the last seven or eight years, there's been one here for at least a thousand years. Now that would seem to me to be a tradition worth upholding....

Record collectors don't miss out today....

There's a cd and vinyl records collectors' fair on at the Rose and Crown Hotel today for any one who likes that sort thing. Just thought I'd mention it. Not stunning news I know but there you go. I poked my nose in to have a quick gander and a chat with Mark the organiser, who used to own Bionic Records shop in Botany. I asked him what life was like without the millstone of running a shop around his neck and he replied "brilliant!" Umm, makes me think....

Good on you Mandy....

I can make a cup of coffee in my shop for as little as 3 pence I reckon. Not just a Somerfield's own brand one either. No, we're talking Carte Noir here! That's the cost of the spoonful of the finest instant granules, the slug of semi skimmed milk and the lecky to boil a small amount of water. So it's always baffled me when I see, otherwise sane people queuing up in the morning at Starbucks on Tonbridge High Street, to pay around £2.50 for their frothy lattes served in a cardboard cups "to go." Well after today's story about Howard Shultz (the boss of the global Starbuck's chain) slagging off the UK and it's economy I wish they would "go" go leave our country if they don't like it. It's not often that I would agree with Peter Mandelson but on this one his "tirade", reported in all the papers this morning, was well justified. Who the fuck, to use Mandy's language not usually mine, do they think they are? They are a sodding coffee shop and don't have any right to pass comment on the state of our economy and, even more annoyingly, on the psychie of the British people. The day we need to take advice from a coffee shop entrepreneur, who let's face it, opened way too many outlets in the first place, is the day we really need to start worrying. Good on you Mandelson I say....

Tonbridge and Hildenbough find new Courier community "volunteers"...

It seems that both Tonbridge and Hildenborough have at long last taken on new community columnists, as reported in an amazing exclusive in the Courier's (allegedly) Tonbridge edition this weekend. Good luck to them both and I would be interested to hear whether or not the Courier ended up back tracking and are actually going to pay them; or are the executives at the billion pound turnover Associated Newspapers Group insisting on being tight fisted and making these community reporters roles "voluntary." I should have thought that voluntary is for charities and worthy organisations and not to help a rich newspaper conglomorate sell newspapers. But that's just me!...
As a post script to that: when are the Courier going to stop referring to "our town" in their leader columns when speaking about Tunbridge Wells? Doesn't the editor have the sense to know that this is a sensitive topic for those people born and bred in Tonbridge, from whence the Courier newspaper evolved. It has become now a standing joke in Tonbridge, has it not, that the paper is now basically a Tunbridge Wells newspaper which occasionally, and somewhat relunctantly, remembers its roots....

Ten romantic things to do in Tonbridge....

(1) Go for a nice long walk through the Sportsground park hand in hand. (Unless it's flooded)
(2) Go white water rafting with your loved one on the Medway near the town lock
(3) Take your sweet heart for an intimate meal at Mama Mia's or another similarly nice restaurant. (Book well in advance)
(4) Don't go for a ruby murray as they're not very romantic!
(5) Stay at home and cook your valentine a special meal
(6) Drink pink champagne together
(7) Send the kids to the pictures with some money for the slot machines and some pop corn
(8) Walk along the river together beyond Canon Lane bridge; just you, your beloved and a few dog walkers for company
(9) er that's it
Any other suggestions?...

Tonbridge Reunited....

Let's hear from some of you Tonbridge expats. In the past TonbridgeBlog has had stories and comments from all over the world. Canada, Australia, New Zealand, the USA, Singapore, Japan, Germany, even Scotland. It seems that you can take the people out of Tonbridge, but you cannot take Tonbridge out of the people! You can send your stories in of your time in Tonbridge by posting a comment below; it can be anything at all from a simple childhood memory about the area to maybe trying to get in touch with an old flame. Now there's a thought; separate website idea coming on: Tonbridgereunited.com!...

Are we all in for a soaking?...

Gulp! Without wishing to spread alarm around Tonbridge but isn't that river level getting a tad too high? This was the view from the big bridge down river this morning; the other side of the bridge, beneath the castle looked like you could go white water rafting on it. The rowing boat quay-side, under the bridge, was submerged right up to the tops of the mooring posts. Was the bloke operating the Leigh flood barrier asleep on the job last night? Is the swimming pool defense system, build after the million pound mess up a few years back, about to be tested. Will the Sportsground park be turned into a surf boarding lake? Will we ever see the flooding of the lower high street like in 1968? I'm pretty sure that Mr. Books Bookshop in Bank Street is safe what with being on the high ground to the North of the Castle. Those Normans knew what they were doing you know, they built the Castle and the old town where it was never likely to flood. All the 21th Century technology in the world cannot stop nature forever, it's just a matter of time people of South Tonbridge! Next time you are looking for a house in this town just take a more careful look at the street names around the North of the town. It's not called Dry Hill Park Road for nothing you know. Its on a hill and it's dry up there!...

TJ's groundsman works around the clock....

That groundman at the Tonbridge Juddians has got a bit of work to do again if he wants to get the pitch ready for Saturday. Better get out there with your garden fork mate!...

A boy with a new toy!...

Yesterday I finally succumbed to the temptation of something that has been bugging me for over a year. I started off as a complete cynic, went to the what's all the fuss about stage, then to the maybe they'd be useful if I was lost stage and finally, after much shopping around and gathering research and information, to the oh sod it I'll have one point, which was yesterday. Now I know the truth beyond any doubt: Satellite Navigation GPS devices are fabulous inventions. After making my purchase at Halfords, I took my Tom Tom XL for a test drive yesterday across the length and breadth of Tonbridge, shortly after being baffled by the instruction leaflet. I tried to fool "Jane" (that's the voice I've selected on the machine) by turning alternative directions to the instructions she was giving me. But Jane was not to be messed with. Everytime I attempted to deceive her she calmly and politely simply issued me with new instructions in order for me to complete my journey home. Jane will accompany me on many a journey from now on and save me the bother of having to crane my neck to see the map and risk life and limb to get to an appointment on time with hastily scribbled down directions balancing on my knee. She doesn't know it yet, but my new cyber friend, Jane, will also save many a bad tempered argument towards the end of a long journey on holidays, finding camp sites in the middle of the Cornish countryside. No more maps thrown at me on country lanes just a calm "At the next junction in 60 yards turn sharp right and then left. I'm easily pleased and like a boy with a new toy....

Tonbridge talent continued....

I dream in emails, worn out phrases
Mile after mile of just empty pages....

Not my words but those of Keane, those other talented boys from Tonbridge, from the title track of their new album "Perfect Symmetry." Maybe there's something in the water around here, we seem to be surrounded by such talent....

Tonbridge Has Talent!...

It's true you know. If last night's performances at Tonbridge School's Big School Hall was anything to go by, they have lots of it. Most of the senior schools from Tonbridge and Tonbridge Wells has gathered together for a almighty showing of talent. Talents ranging from magic, to stand up comedy, singing, dancing, mime, ventriloqy (if that's a word) drumming, guitaring, even spinning glowing balls and a diabloist; you name it it was there. Probably the most amusing performance of the evening, for me, was Emily Ffrench's 'Speaking French' accompanied by Ben Fergusson on Piano. Well what else could she do with a name like that?! It could have been bad, but Emily, from Tonbridge Girls Grammar, held it together so well that she would have graced any rag week souirie. Other notable performances were the madness of Tom Wheatley's iMime, the psycopathic drumming of Holly Mallet with the weirdly named act Sir Synthalot, especially weird cos I didn't notice any synths; Hamish Balinghall, performing 'Memories', an accoustic guitar solo, which he's written himself was easily the most accomplished performance, and he got a special mention later on (but no prize.) The boy will definitely go far, John Williams, make room cos a new protege is coming. I had been asked to be on the judging panel, which was a first for me which I really enjoyed. The spot light was, quite literally, on me when I was giving my opinion of the acts so I tried to be as honest and amusing as I could while keeping it mostly upbeat (well they are only teenagers afterall.) Some of the judges were being very technical and rather Simon Cowell-like in a few cases, but I think on the whole we were all pretty fair. Judging panels always bleet on about how difficult it was to come to a decision, and you just think "Oh come off it you're just being kind to the losers." But do you know what, it is really hard to reach an agreement, as I discovered last night, because each judge has their own opinion. We were scoring the acts as they went along, but those scores, rather bizzarely in my opinion, went out of the window in the final analysis. We did however reach a decision, as organiser Mike Morris, indicated that we had about two minutes to do so. So the winner was a brilliant young magician, from Judd School, called Edward Hilsum. He kept producing those hankies and then white doves, which he placed in a cage on their perches; thenn for his finale, amazingly, and not even in a puff of smoke, he made those birds disappear before our very eyes! He needs to polish his act a little, but he's young yet and he's going places. Second was Amy Squirrel, from Weald of Kent School, a folky singer/guitarist in the Alanis Morrisett type-vein. Really brilliant and my kinda music. And third was a cheeky young stand-up commedian called Tom Edkins who managed to make his curiously chosen subject of liquorish funny, now that in itself deserves a prize. Some of his jokes were a bit colourful for a mixed-age audience, and, for me, he could lose the swearing but he clearly had the audience with him and laughing and that takes a lot of bottle when you're standing up there on your own. I enjoyed the the whole evening and there are many acts I haven't metioned here who were fantastic. I'll leave you with the comment I made when judging the ventriloquist act, which kind of summed up the whole evening, and it's the nearest I ever get to being funny: I thought they were all gloody grilliant!...

Will John Bartram stick to his guns in Gollywog debate?...

In the light of the Carol Thatcher Gollywog tennis player debate, which seems to have had far too much TV and radio air time, I wonder whether John Bartram feels the TV presenter (and daughter of Satan) has been unfairly treated by the BBC. You may remember that Bartram, owner of Tonbridge High Street shop, Allsorts, raised a similar debate on a local level when he sold the Golly Dolls and refused to take them out of his shop window after a young lady of colour had complained about them saying that she found them offensive. He preferred instead to pose for the Courier grinning in a close up photo with the un-pc doll of colour and thence to milk the situation for all the publicity he could get....

Great job on the roads but what about the pavements?...

I have to say that whoever has been responsible for keeping the roads of Tonbridge free from ice and snow (so probably Kent County Council Highways, or possibly Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council, or, knowing them, both of them) has done a pretty good job, given the severity of the conditions. If only I could say the same for the treacherous pavements! After a very scarey drive home from the Farnham Book Fair on Sunday evening, when the M25 from the Gatwick junction onwards was like an episode of Strictly Come Ice Dancing with cars, I decided to play safe and walk to work instead of the usual shortish drive across town. For at least half my journey I ended up, as did most other people on foot, walking on the roads. They were completely clear, the pavements a virtual ice rink. Something wrong here I think. Maybe if the council made it easier for people to walk, instead of clearly prioritising the roads, then more people would take to the pavements instead of saying sod it! as I did this morning when I returned to the safer option of my car....