Tuesday, January 6, 2009

An air bomb for Christmas!...

Returning from the Dorking Book Fair, where I occasionally exhibit, last Sunday evening I was confronted with Police road blocks, with policemen looking very serious indeed; there was no way I was going to persaud them to let me through. The whole High Street was closed to traffic which caused me to take an I'm in-the-know locals detour around the back of the Slade, through the narrow myriad of terraced streets to my shop; a route which has saved me several times in the past on similar occasions. As I was about to open up my shop in order to unload the ten or so large boxes of books, folding bookcases and equipment I heard an incredibly loud bang causing me to nearly jump out of my skin, then another, and another, then the sky lit up as I felt I should dive for cover. Was it Amageddon? Had God decided this was the moment to wreak his vengence on mankind? Had Al Kaeida picked on the old market town of Tonbridge to launch another assault on Western civilisation? Had the IRA broken the Good Friday agreement? Of course not; it was just our friendly council letting off some steam, well fireworks actually. It was the start of Christmas, it was the start of the Panto season. I didn't get back in time to see the great light switching on ceremony, no doubt the girl from the soap in the panto advert was doing the honours this year like that cheeky boy next door type, Barney, did last year. All good fun, and I don't want to sound like Scrooge, but why the fireworks; they're massively over rated, but used more and more at all times of year. Christmas? Let's have some fireworks! Grandad's 70th birthday? Why not let off a few air bombs to remind him of the Blitz! Your first child, and he's a boy. That's lovely; have you considered a rocket launcher and box of industrial power roman candles to mark the occasion? That way you can contribute to global warming to save on heating bills and the need to buy over coats! These ridiculously expensive and extravagant wastes of energy and resources are just not required, what ever the occasion. Or is it just me?!..

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