What is it with these Billy Bunter annuals...

I couldn't believe the audacity! I've just this minute caught a tea leaving sod nicking books in my shop. Red handed, bang to rights. He obviously didn't realise that I could see him and thought he was invincible or something. He was busily filling up his anorak with Billy Bunters, and I've had around 15 of the same type stolen already over the course of the last few months, so I accosted him saying words to the effect "Do you want to stop nicking those books?" He obviously tried to deny the crime so I think I may have, in the heat of the moment, grabbed hold of him momentarily to stop him walking out of the shop with the swag. He then went around the back of the shop and put the books down, which had been up his jacket. I then invited him to leave the shop in no uncertain terms and asked him if he'd rather I called the Police. He said "Naa you don't wanna do thaat!" So off he toddled around the corner off to rob some other poor unsuspecting shopkeep or, very likely some old granny. They really are the scum of the earth these people who will prey on the weak and vulnerable the easy targets, the small businesses who haven't invested a fortune on security equipment. Well if you are out there mate, I've got your number, I've got your face on a security recording and you'll never come in my shop again. I suggest you give Tonbridge a wide berth as well you thieving tosser, unless of course you live here, in which case I'll probably see you around. Go and get a job instead of pretending you're some kind of mafia big crime Billy Big Shot. I've got news for you, and you probably already knew it deep down anyway. YOU ARE LOW LIFE SCUM.....