Saturday, January 24, 2009

Tips for the recession Part One....

The RECESSION is here so come to terms with it!

Stop worrying you may yet keep your job and even if you don't you'll still be alive.

Stop saying cliches like CREDIT CRUNCH and GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS; they're all made up euphemisms for Governments to avoid saying that they've really messed up.

Spend your way out of the recession? If you've got any money, which most of us have, so stop holding it back for a rainy day and take advantage of the panicking retailers who have to meet their year on year performance target or face a dressing down by their major shareholder committees.

Read your way out of recession? Well I had to get that one in didn't I, being a bookseller and all! But it is true, you can buy a paperback by a favourite or even new author and spend the next three or four nights in, saving electricity (no telly) and saving money by not going out and saving even more money on food if the book is so gripping that you simply cannot put it down.

Start a new cheap hobby like amateur dramatics, or metal detecting or something.

Buy Tonbridge Civic Society's publication "14 Walks" for a mere £2.50 and do all of them this Spring. You'll be amazed at how wonderful the countryside is around about.

Don't join a gym to get fit, you'll only be wasting your money and fooling yourself. It's the doing of exercise that gets you fit, not the taking out membership. So go running, cycle to school or work, walk to the shops, go swimming in the fitness lane, do press ups at home, join a football or athletics club. Hell you could even make love love more (but remember to take precautions folks!)

Buy your beer from the supermarket cos whatever claims the likes of Sainsbury's make about responsibly selling alcohol, they have to sell it dirt cheap cos they're so scared in case Tescos and Asda nick 1% or their market share.

Start a sideline business such as buying and selling antique toys, it'll not only make you money but it may save you money as well since you won't have any free time anymore. You might even enjoy it and go for a complete career change.

Don't go to watch football, unless you've already bought a season ticket; it'll cost you a small fortune, make you unfit and turn you into a narrow minded yobbo in all probability. Go to watch the Tonbridge Juddians instead down the park. It's free, you can stand right on the pitch and watch some outstanding rugby and the beer's cheap in the club house after the game.

And lastly (for now) I once had a Scottish friend during my days working in Canary Wharf, and this was when the economy was bouyant, who (obviously) never bought a round of drinks and used to go from bar to pub to bar, ordering a soda water with ice in each one. I kid you not. It didn't cost him a penny; tight you may think but not a bad tip now if you must keep going out in these straightened times....


concerned of East Steet said...

how do you rant on this site? have I come here under false pretences? - the Mr Books site says we can get things off our chest here not just comment on whatever you have been thinking about - and the site links to the old addresss for this blog (and it uses flashing text).

However, having done that little rant, over to a more significant issue - what has happened to the Ivy House?

Graham said...

The Ivy House is apparently next on the list for renovation after the Punch & Judy on St Stephens Street. I must say, the new manager of the P&J is doing a wonderful job with the pub which, in my humble opinion, is now the best pub in Tonbridge.

Don't go rushing down there between the 25th and 28th January as it's shut for the final finishing touches including the ceiling finally getting a new coat of plaster.

It's also got a bar billiards table which is brilliant. Brings me back to when I was a lad. No shove halvepenny though - maybe I'll suggest it?

Paul Bailey said...

You contradict yourself a bit Mark. First you advise us to spend our way out of the recession, but then you go on to suggest all sorts of ways in which we can save money.

This slight gripe aside, an otherwise very sensible article, especially the comments about gym membership. Everytime I walk past the gym in Avebury Avenue and see all these jokers working out on a walking or cycling machine when there's a park round th corner where they could be doing all this for free (and in the fresh air!), I have to supress a laugh.

TonbridgeR said...

I loved the Ivy House especially in the 70's. It was so laid back then but maybe that's because life was just that way back then. Looking forward to the place opening again. It seems as though every advantage is being taken of the free car park at present - it's always full.

Sunny_Tonny said...

Tonbridge Blog is right about reading being a good recession-proof hobby....does anyone know of any reading groups in the area? Have been on the look-out for one for a while.

petrolstationvillage said...


There is a Reading Group I believe and I think Tonbridge Library know when it is. It's probably during the day when a lot of people are at work though.

I have noticed more people reading in town.

It is not just reading that is pretty recession proof, but writing is also a cheap hobby too. Why just leave it to the authors? Everyone one of us has a tale to tell (some more than others!)

petrolstationvillage said...

Another tip

is to Swap DVDS with your friends and colleagues, swapping clothes in a Clothes Party perhaps.

petrolstationvillage said...

Cycling in the Sportsground in your Lunch hour? Well, people are actually barred from cycling in the sportsground.

There ought to be cycle paths round it linking it to the Sustrans path by the Swimming Pool. Why should it be just for walkers? Tonbridge is full of obese people so the the Council ought to be active and get some cycle paths down there. It is a lovely area but it is not a sportsground if cyclists aren't allowed to use it.

Stoatbeak said...

I loved the Ivy House also ..... One of the reasons that it was so laid back was that most of the customers (including me) were stoned !!!
It was a bit of an old hippy retreat .... man !

Stoatbeak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stoatbeak said...

On the subject of "laid back" places .... Does anybody remember "Andromeda's Cave" ?

Graeme said...

I agree with Graham about the Punch & Judy, it is the best pub in town.
Official opening Night at The Punch & Judy on 20th February from 8pm to 1am.

Paul Bailey said...

Didn't know it was illegal to cycle around the sportsground. I've done it on and off for years without any problems.

I expect though now, having confessed to this misdemeanour, I'll get a knock on my door from Tonbridge's equivalent of the Stasi!

Graeme said...

Paul, There is a cycle way that goes through the sportsground and on to Haysden and the lakes, quite a nice ride.

Paul Bailey said...


I normally join the cycle-route which goes via Haysden, all the way to Penshurst, at the entrance to the sportsground. By this I mean the gated entrance just across the river from the swimming pool.

There is certainly a cycle-lane marked out on the approach road to the sportsground, but it disappears once one passes through the gates. I then carry straight on along the path as it follows the river, before turning right over the hump-backed bridge, past the rugby pitches to join the main cycleway.

As I said in my previous post, I wasn't aware it was illegal to cycle along this path. I don't recall seeing any notices saying cycling is prohibited. If I do meet people on foot, I simply ride past them on the grass, giving them a wide berth. Where's the harm in that?

Paul Bailey said...

Sorry, I was replying to the wrong Graeme.

ps. I'm still waitng for a visit from the Stasi.