Really having a wonderful Christmas time....

As Paul McCartney once said in one of his lesser moments of musical genius: Really having a wonderful Christmas time. What was he banging on about. I've had the flu, in fact I was in bed for two whole days, mostly either in a pool of sweat, or else freezing cold and unable to get warm. I still feel like crap, having hopefully got over the worst, my throat is so sore that I feel like I'm swallowing razor blades, so I have to keep popping paracetemols like they're jelly totts just to keep the pain at bay for a few brief hours. Have you got the violins out yet?! I'm sitting in my shop when I really should be at home in bed, which is what it looks like I'll be doing tomorrow. To cap it all the postman (or woman) delivered three letters to me which should have been delivered to 2a Bank Street, which is, rather qwerkily around the corner from my shop, which is number 2 if you follow me, and not next door, where you might expect it to be. So I had to redeliver them to the correct address; on my return I opened the one remaining letter, which was addressed to me, but incorrectly addressed to 2a Bank St. just to confuse further the already bemused postie. On opening this letter I thought maybe a Christmas card from a friendly, but little seen neighbour, or a letter with a nice seasonal message in it to lift my spirits; what did I get this Christmas Eve to warm the cockles of my heart? why a letter accusing me of sharp practice that's what! And I can assure you that this is a first for me. Apparently I had bought some books from a lady at my shop and she was "taken aback" by my offer and therefore, rather bizzarely, accepted it in her confusion. I'm pretty sure that this lady was refering to a small box of paperbacks, which I would say that since her next stop was probably the recycling bins, she has done ok, and since I still haven't sold any of them, I'm still well down on the deal. Since this confused lady left no return address I cannot reply to her Mrs. Disgruntled of Tonbridge letter; if I could I would probably say think before you accept offers for books which you are about to throw out, it's not that tricky: if you're not happy you just say no. Although you probably have other deeper problems at the heart of this I am no meany or sharp practicer, so since it's Christmas, in the spirit of good will and all that, you can have a free ten quid book voucher to spend in my shop. I hope it cheers you up more than your letter cheered me up this Christmas Eve. Like I said: Really Having a Wonderful Christmas Time....