This was sent in by a reader who wishes to remain anonymous, so thanks alot Jim Tonbridge blog thought it was quite amusing, though not at all accurate af course!...
Recipe for Tonbridge cake
A splash of graffiti
Half a ton of pollution
A dozen burnt out buildings
One crumbled railway station
Several neglectful council officials
Ten echoing police sirens
Few late buses
16,000 Bacardi breezers (Alternatively use strong lager)
A drop tequila (or several)
A dash of vodka (or lots)
Several drunken lads and ladettes
A pinch of salt (for the tequila of course)
Add a ruby murray and naan bread to taste (Alternatively use shish kebabs)
One Tory MP (ooh a bit political as Ben Elton used to say when he was funny!)
Mix together in a very large bowl adding lots of water (the Medway) bring to a boil on a Saturday night.. Bake for six hours and allow to cool. Serves 40,0000.
Come on I'm sure the rest of you can do better than this....